was this guy trying to intimidate me?

CostaDeSol

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at my job, my work station is in an isolated department where you have to go through a narrow walkway to get there. the other day a female coworker from another department had to get some supplies from my station so she came over to get them while i was away.

While she was there, another coworker who is a male decided to tag along with her and flirt with her while she picked up her supplies.

When i came back they were still there and i had to walk past both of them in order to get to my station. as i walked past them, the male coworker eyeballed the notebook i was holding in my hand and then made a joke about it.

I then had to get up to get something from another room and when i returned and walked past them again, he was staring at me with a small smirk on his face. i nodded as i walked past him just because i felt uneasy.

does this guy have bad social skills, was he trying to intimidate me, or am i making a big deal out of nothing, and i am the one with the bad social skills? because who stares at people like that? it felt like i couldn't sit down for 5 seconds with out him making some joke to break my balls.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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You just got Amog'd.

He was testing you, all while displaying is dominance over you. If it was just him there without the female, he probably would have kept to himself and ignored you.

Yes it was immature, and guys who are on top of the Alpha spectrum don't usually feel a need to display their Alphaness, they are already secure in their status in the pecking order.

Therefore, this guy was somewhat insecure and/or felt some type of intimidation by you. Next time just say something along the lines of: "can I help you with something?" That's what I'd do anyways.
 

Who Dares Win

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According to the situation you can answer you:

1)ahaha you're so funny, reminds me of those comedians my grandma watch on tv

2)omg you are wasted in this job, such jokes could make you the chief clown at the next countryside festival, you could be any kids hero for an evening

Then get serious and leave or make a sarcastic blink
 

CostaDeSol

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Espi said:
When I worked at an office, jokes, small-talk, and socializing (ESPECIALLY with the females) were off limits. I didn't engage in any of that stuff and I didn't allow anybody to bullshiat with me. I have a fvucking job to do and the last thing I want is a co-worker distracting or making jokes about me. I'm an all-business sort of guy. Not saying you deserve this whatsoever, but just remember that there are lots of angry jealous people out there, and they will continue to try to intimidate you if you allow them.

I say it's best to ignore him completely.

OR

If he keeps making jokes, and it bothers you that much, write down every incident he's made/making, date each incident, and then go directly to your HR rep with the log. Hand the HR rep a copy while you read each incident from your original log and explain that you feel his behavior deviates from the code of company ethics and that you expect him to stop it NOW. When you complete your visit with HR, follow up with an email to the HR rep, acknowledging that you met with them and what you both agreed is the next step to resolve the problem. That will almost always do the trick.
thanks for the advice Espi. Its interesting that you say that i will continue to run in to angry jealous people because i was thinking that exact same thing when this happened to me. i just want to learn how to develop a thicker skin, since i know this isn't worth getting distracted by.
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

CostaDeSol

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Peaks&Valleys said:
You just got Amog'd.

He was testing you, all while displaying is dominance over you. If it was just him there without the female, he probably would have kept to himself and ignored you.

Yes it was immature, and guys who are on top of the Alpha spectrum don't usually feel a need to display their Alphaness, they are already secure in their status in the pecking order.

Therefore, this guy was somewhat insecure and/or felt some type of intimidation by you. Next time just say something along the lines of: "can I help you with something?" That's what I'd do anyways.
i agree with him being insecure, i just think it was his aggressiveness that threw me off.
 

CostaDeSol

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Special EDy said:
Well if he was trying to intimidate you it obviously worked.

not just that, but the female worker later told me she felt completely creeped out by him and wants to quit talking to him.
 

Skyline

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CostaDeSol said:
at my job, my work station is in an isolated department where you have to go through a narrow walkway to get there. the other day a female coworker from another department had to get some supplies from my station so she came over to get them while i was away.

While she was there, another coworker who is a male decided to tag along with her and flirt with her while she picked up her supplies.

When i came back they were still there and i had to walk past both of them in order to get to my station. as i walked past them, the male coworker eyeballed the notebook i was holding in my hand and then made a joke about it.

I then had to get up to get something from another room and when i returned and walked past them again, he was staring at me with a small smirk on his face. i nodded as i walked past him just because i felt uneasy.

does this guy have bad social skills, was he trying to intimidate me, or am i making a big deal out of nothing, and i am the one with the bad social skills? because who stares at people like that? it felt like i couldn't sit down for 5 seconds with out him making some joke to break my balls.
I remember a few kids in high-school would do this to me. In my earlier years, when I knew nothing of SS, I would sort of walk by and ignore them. It didn't really solve the issue. But during my late junior year when I found SS, I switched schools at this point, I sort of "stood up" to them in a sense.

I remember sitting down with my friends one day in the morning. It was inside of a building near an entrance with a few classrooms in front of us. It was sort of our chill spot. We were talking and all that then the next thing you know someone comes running by and throws a plastic suitcase at the wall near where me and this girl were sitting at. They then darted into the first classroom near the entrance. So I then get up and pick up the plastic suitcase and go towards the classroom. This tall guy comes out and reaches for the plastic suitcase, I then move it away so he couldn't reach it. I then ask him if it was his and he nodded. I told him to "hang onto it" and then dropped it right in front of him as I turned around and walked back to my friends.

My friends then all tell me how much of a bad*ss I looked. I didn't really see it though, I just felt like I was standing up for myself.

There's also been some other instances where someone would make a comment and I would turn around immediately and confront them about it.

Me and my friend were waiting in line to get our lunch, there was a group of kids in front of us as well. It was my turn to get my stuff so I order what I normally get. I then turn around to leave and that same crowd of kids were still there kind of just hanging out. So I say "excuse me" and kind of brush them aside, my friend then slithers along as well. After we do that one of the guy makes a comment, I then turn around immediately and say "What?" The kid then turns around the opposite direction and starts smiling. He didn't expect me to do that, we then walk away.

Another time I was with my AFC best friend walking back from going off-campus and a crowd of kids were walking in the opposite direction. We were having a conversation and I just sort of "felt" it, can't really explain it, but they were saying something. I heard some snickering as they were behind us as well, which wasn't that much of a stretch. So I basically stop during mid sentence and turn around and start to walk towards them and say "What's up?" They were all facing us and then immediately turn around and walk away. But we happened to know one of the kids there so he walked up to us and told us that they were laughing at my friends v-neck because it was so wide and hanging so low. They called it a "W" neck. My friend recently got a tattoo at the time so he wanted to show it off. The thing that bothered me is that my friend just ignored them and kept walking. But he's a different story.

I honestly had no intention of fighting or anything, I was just curious on what they had said or done. So in response to your situation, I think if you were to have just said something he would have shut up.


Peaks&Valleys said:
You just got Amog'd.

He was testing you, all while displaying is dominance over you. If it was just him there without the female, he probably would have kept to himself and ignored you.

Yes it was immature, and guys who are on top of the Alpha spectrum don't usually feel a need to display their Alphaness, they are already secure in their status in the pecking order.

Therefore, this guy was somewhat insecure and/or felt some type of intimidation by you. Next time just say something along the lines of: "can I help you with something?" That's what I'd do anyways.
Oh so that's what "AMOG" is? Every time I stood up for myself in a situation like that people sort of backed down. Maybe it is an intimidation thing.
 

speed dawg

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Costa Del Sol......

First of all, that type of behavior really shouldn't be happening in an office environment. I know it does, but it doesn't make it right. I like to to head these things off before they spiral into a 'who can one-up who' situation. I probably would have walked right by them and asked, "Can I help you guys?". Their response probably would have been silence. You can combat these things without getting aggressive yourself.....and actually, that's the best way. The only time you should get aggressive is if someone is being aggressive towards you.

Frayzer said:
I remember sitting down with my friends one day in the morning. It was inside of a building near an entrance with a few classrooms in front of us. It was sort of our chill spot. We were talking and all that then the next thing you know someone comes running by and throws a plastic suitcase at the wall near where me and this girl were sitting at. They then darted into the first classroom near the entrance. So I then get up and pick up the plastic suitcase and go towards the classroom. This tall guy comes out and reaches for the plastic suitcase, I then move it away so he couldn't reach it. I then ask him if it was his and he nodded. I told him to "hang onto it" and then dropped it right in front of him as I turned around and walked back to my friends.

My friends then all tell me how much of a bad*ss I looked. I didn't really see it though, I just felt like I was standing up for myself.

There's also been some other instances where someone would make a comment and I would turn around immediately and confront them about it.

Me and my friend were waiting in line to get our lunch, there was a group of kids in front of us as well. It was my turn to get my stuff so I order what I normally get. I then turn around to leave and that same crowd of kids were still there kind of just hanging out. So I say "excuse me" and kind of brush them aside, my friend then slithers along as well. After we do that one of the guy makes a comment, I then turn around immediately and say "What?" The kid then turns around the opposite direction and starts smiling. He didn't expect me to do that, we then walk away.

Another time I was with my AFC best friend walking back from going off-campus and a crowd of kids were walking in the opposite direction. We were having a conversation and I just sort of "felt" it, can't really explain it, but they were saying something. I heard some snickering as they were behind us as well, which wasn't that much of a stretch. So I basically stop during mid sentence and turn around and start to walk towards them and say "What's up?" They were all facing us and then immediately turn around and walk away. But we happened to know one of the kids there so he walked up to us and told us that they were laughing at my friends v-neck because it was so wide and hanging so low. They called it a "W" neck. My friend recently got a tattoo at the time so he wanted to show it off. The thing that bothered me is that my friend just ignored them and kept walking. But he's a different story.

I honestly had no intention of fighting or anything, I was just curious on what they had said or done. So in response to your situation, I think if you were to have just said something he would have shut up.
Frayzer....could to see that you're learning this early on in life. My advice....I'd probably tone down the physical part of it. You may find yourself in a situation that you cannot handle if you keep that up. Learn the art of verbal self-defense. And in the end.....self confidence wins out. If you are extremely confident in yourself, this stuff comes naturally. But it's absolutely a necessary skill in this life. Just the way you carry yourself can ward off most 'attacks' by predators.
 

Colossus

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The way to play that is to turn it right back around on him. He made a joke about your notebook, look at the girl and whisper to her---so he can hear---"he wishes it was his", with a wink. Then look at him, pat him on the back, and go about your day.

AMOG reversal.
 
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