2 months ago I went through an odd rebound situation with a girl. She was the coworker of a friend of mine who I had flirted with previously, but at the time she was seeing somebody else (which I didn't know initially), and she always seemed to be aloof when I hung out with her; she would invite me out to a party or bar, but would be a little aloof when arrived and would spend more time talking to other guys. Again, she was seeing someone else anyways, so I stopped hanging out with her.
On a whim I ended up driving out of town to meet a friend at a basketball game, and he happened to bring her to it. We hung out, she talked with my other friends more than I, so I just went about my business and had a good time. After the game the group went to a friend's place to hang out. There was a moment were the rest of the group went inside while the girl and I were left alone. Out of nowhere she looked up and stared at me longingly, so I moved in and kissed her. One thing led to another and we slept together that night. For the lack of a better way to put it, I was a little blindsided by all of it; she told me she had liked me for a while and when I asked about if she was cool with going to a hotel to ****, she said "only if this won't be the only time...". It was unexpected.
The next day I left town for home, telling her to call me when she got back. She explained that she had to move out of her place the same night she returned due an emergency, she had a major falling out with her roommates and was emotionally pretty beat up about it. She called me when she got back into town and I helped her move her stuff out with her friends. We ****ed, I stayed the night at her place and all was good.
For the next week and a half we slept at each others places (3 days the first week, 2 the next). During that time she told me how happy she was with everything, how she liked me because I was good to her, etc (I'm sure you know where this is going). The sex was good too.
The problem, of course, was that she was still talking to her EX, and she wasn't aware that I knew that (which is amusing because she wasn't hiding it). She would literally be lying naked in my bed and she'd pick up a call from him and say "I can't talk right now, gotta go". He would text her frequently as well. At first I just ignored it as it was way too early to talk about exclusivity and I was originally not very threatened by him. He seemed needy, so I didn't worry. By the week and a half mark, though, his calls went like "hey, you were supposed to call me tonight, where have you been?" and she would just tell him she was cooking dinner from someone and had to go. At that point I wasn't sure what was going on, I thought maybe I was helping her cheat on someone. Because of this, after a night of fooling around and talking (where she explained yet again that she thought I was amazing), I ended up stupidly asking her about it. I tried to be as non accusatory as possible as my intention was to not establish exclusivity but to figure out if I was in a complicated situation. She explained that she had broken up with him due to him being neglectful and due to the long distance (he's 3 1/2 hours away in another city). She started hooking up with me 2 days after their break up, and he started calling her a ton right after that. She explained that she told him they would never get back together, and she did the usual "I don't want you to think anything is going on..." and I told her "nah, it's fine, you can talk to him, I just need to know where I stood. If you need to slow things down that's totally fine, we can do that.". She grabbed my arm and said "no, I'm really happy with where this is going". The conversation ended and we fell asleep.
The next morning I asked her when she wanted to hang again, and she said that night. I saw her again and things seemed to be ok, but she was a little quieter than usual. I made plans to see her 2 days from then to hang out before I went on a week long skiing trip. She agreed. A day later I had to cancel seeing her that Sunday because of a work deadline, which forced me to go in over the weekend. I told her "I may be able to come over after work if I get off at a reasonable time, but I'm not sure". She seemed oddly fine with me canceling, but I didn't think much of it.
The next day I texted her after work telling her I was off earlier than expected. She said "oh, I'm out of town in Waco". I said "Oh, I had no idea, what are you doing out there?". She said "visiting Juliane, she's having a hard time right now". I said "oh that sucks, what happened?". She said "she's having problems with her parents". I said "well, I'm sorry to hear that. I wish her the best. Any idea when you'll be back?". She said: "I'm not sure.". I said "Well, I was hoping to see you before I left for my trip, let me know if you're back in town before then". She said "I'll keep you posted".
She never got back to me the next day, so I called her that night. 3 hours later she called back apologizing saying she wasn't going to make it back in time. I told her it was fine, and that I could just see her the night I fly back into town. She hesitated and acted a little weird : "oh, uh, yeah...yeah that's fine".
I didn't contact her the following day due to work and my flight. The day after I sent her a photo of the snow in the area, she didn't reply. Later that day while I was buying skii equipment, she sent a text saying she needed to talk. She called and gave me the typical "I think you're really amazing and I really like you but I'm not ready for a stable relationship right now, I'm not over my EX". I said "Yeah, I figured, you've been acting weird. I assume when you said you went to Waco that you actually drove to Dallas to see him?". She said "no, but he met me in Waco...". I replied with "well...That sucks. I don't know what to say about it. You have a few of my things, please deliver them to me." She said "I'll give them to Forrest at work tomorrow so he can give them to you. I'm really sorry". I said "Ok, that's fine. Well, good bye". A few minutes later I sent her a text saying "you didn't need to lie to me about this, next time be more upfront with people". She replied saying she was sorry and didn't really know what she was doing, that she was confused.
Anyways, I went NC and haven't contacted her since. I defriended her on facebook a day later thinking there wasn't anything to salvage after being lied to. My friend sees her at work, says she looked depressed for a few days after but seemed normal after that. She hasn't spoken to him about it.
On to my question: is there any way I can salvage this strictly for ONLY a hook up later if things go bad again with her ex? After the lying and such I have no interest in having relationship with her, but she was hot, 10 years younger than me and good in bed, which doesn't happen often. My assumption is that there's no way due to me defriending her and acting a little AFC during the later stages of this, but I'd like to hear other opinions about it. Thanks in advance.
On a whim I ended up driving out of town to meet a friend at a basketball game, and he happened to bring her to it. We hung out, she talked with my other friends more than I, so I just went about my business and had a good time. After the game the group went to a friend's place to hang out. There was a moment were the rest of the group went inside while the girl and I were left alone. Out of nowhere she looked up and stared at me longingly, so I moved in and kissed her. One thing led to another and we slept together that night. For the lack of a better way to put it, I was a little blindsided by all of it; she told me she had liked me for a while and when I asked about if she was cool with going to a hotel to ****, she said "only if this won't be the only time...". It was unexpected.
The next day I left town for home, telling her to call me when she got back. She explained that she had to move out of her place the same night she returned due an emergency, she had a major falling out with her roommates and was emotionally pretty beat up about it. She called me when she got back into town and I helped her move her stuff out with her friends. We ****ed, I stayed the night at her place and all was good.
For the next week and a half we slept at each others places (3 days the first week, 2 the next). During that time she told me how happy she was with everything, how she liked me because I was good to her, etc (I'm sure you know where this is going). The sex was good too.
The problem, of course, was that she was still talking to her EX, and she wasn't aware that I knew that (which is amusing because she wasn't hiding it). She would literally be lying naked in my bed and she'd pick up a call from him and say "I can't talk right now, gotta go". He would text her frequently as well. At first I just ignored it as it was way too early to talk about exclusivity and I was originally not very threatened by him. He seemed needy, so I didn't worry. By the week and a half mark, though, his calls went like "hey, you were supposed to call me tonight, where have you been?" and she would just tell him she was cooking dinner from someone and had to go. At that point I wasn't sure what was going on, I thought maybe I was helping her cheat on someone. Because of this, after a night of fooling around and talking (where she explained yet again that she thought I was amazing), I ended up stupidly asking her about it. I tried to be as non accusatory as possible as my intention was to not establish exclusivity but to figure out if I was in a complicated situation. She explained that she had broken up with him due to him being neglectful and due to the long distance (he's 3 1/2 hours away in another city). She started hooking up with me 2 days after their break up, and he started calling her a ton right after that. She explained that she told him they would never get back together, and she did the usual "I don't want you to think anything is going on..." and I told her "nah, it's fine, you can talk to him, I just need to know where I stood. If you need to slow things down that's totally fine, we can do that.". She grabbed my arm and said "no, I'm really happy with where this is going". The conversation ended and we fell asleep.
The next morning I asked her when she wanted to hang again, and she said that night. I saw her again and things seemed to be ok, but she was a little quieter than usual. I made plans to see her 2 days from then to hang out before I went on a week long skiing trip. She agreed. A day later I had to cancel seeing her that Sunday because of a work deadline, which forced me to go in over the weekend. I told her "I may be able to come over after work if I get off at a reasonable time, but I'm not sure". She seemed oddly fine with me canceling, but I didn't think much of it.
The next day I texted her after work telling her I was off earlier than expected. She said "oh, I'm out of town in Waco". I said "Oh, I had no idea, what are you doing out there?". She said "visiting Juliane, she's having a hard time right now". I said "oh that sucks, what happened?". She said "she's having problems with her parents". I said "well, I'm sorry to hear that. I wish her the best. Any idea when you'll be back?". She said: "I'm not sure.". I said "Well, I was hoping to see you before I left for my trip, let me know if you're back in town before then". She said "I'll keep you posted".
She never got back to me the next day, so I called her that night. 3 hours later she called back apologizing saying she wasn't going to make it back in time. I told her it was fine, and that I could just see her the night I fly back into town. She hesitated and acted a little weird : "oh, uh, yeah...yeah that's fine".
I didn't contact her the following day due to work and my flight. The day after I sent her a photo of the snow in the area, she didn't reply. Later that day while I was buying skii equipment, she sent a text saying she needed to talk. She called and gave me the typical "I think you're really amazing and I really like you but I'm not ready for a stable relationship right now, I'm not over my EX". I said "Yeah, I figured, you've been acting weird. I assume when you said you went to Waco that you actually drove to Dallas to see him?". She said "no, but he met me in Waco...". I replied with "well...That sucks. I don't know what to say about it. You have a few of my things, please deliver them to me." She said "I'll give them to Forrest at work tomorrow so he can give them to you. I'm really sorry". I said "Ok, that's fine. Well, good bye". A few minutes later I sent her a text saying "you didn't need to lie to me about this, next time be more upfront with people". She replied saying she was sorry and didn't really know what she was doing, that she was confused.
Anyways, I went NC and haven't contacted her since. I defriended her on facebook a day later thinking there wasn't anything to salvage after being lied to. My friend sees her at work, says she looked depressed for a few days after but seemed normal after that. She hasn't spoken to him about it.
On to my question: is there any way I can salvage this strictly for ONLY a hook up later if things go bad again with her ex? After the lying and such I have no interest in having relationship with her, but she was hot, 10 years younger than me and good in bed, which doesn't happen often. My assumption is that there's no way due to me defriending her and acting a little AFC during the later stages of this, but I'd like to hear other opinions about it. Thanks in advance.
