Was I played? or she is confused about me?

[Seeker911]

There is a girl who works with me and happens to be single in her mid 30s and I once told her that I like her but she told me that she sees me as a colleague and as a friend only. I was like fine with that and tried to move on but afterwards she started getting really close to me and we started watched movies together and we had dinners and lunches together spent lot of time talking about useless stuff. I noticed whenever some other female colleagues talked to me or got close to me she was kind of jealous and hated them. At staff meetings and celebration she was always looking at me. She digs into my cell phone and asks me if I am still single. Any girls who talks to me outside work she becomes her friend.
If something happens at work she wants me to comfort her and if she get rejected for some new job she calls me cries.
My birthday was coming and she had been planning to take me out for dinner to some fancy restaurant even though I told her not to but she kept saying she wants too. One day before my birthday she comes to me asking me what kind of place do I prefer and she has got all planned out.
Then comes my birthday and she comes to work at 9 (she sits in next cubicle, btw) I could hear her talking to other people and laughing and doings her things that she normally do. So by noon she comes to me and wishes me Happy Birthday (I was thinking finally she has got time) and tells me that she is not feeling well and she also has to go to dinner, so I told her that she should go home and rest and she told me that we’ll do the dinner as soon as she is fine so that she can enjoy the good food and the good company. But the next day she came all dressed up to work and planning lunch or dinner with someone over the phone for that night and I was thinking she just bailed on me yesterday and she has the audacity to do it so loud that even I can hear it. She is the one who planned the whole thing, even though I didn’t want it.
I’m confused about the whole thing, what does she want from me? Despite rejecting me why is she getting close to me and doing all this to me. BTW she never used me for money, she must have spent more money on me then I have on her and she doesn't lie but she is very secretive.

 

[betheman]

There is a girl who works with me and happens to be single in her mid 30s and I once told her that I like her but she told me that she sees me as a colleague and as a friend only. I was like fine with that and tried to move on but afterwards she started getting really close to me and we started watched movies together and we had dinners and lunches together spent lot of time talking about useless stuff. I noticed whenever some other female colleagues talked to me or got close to me she was kind of jealous and hated them. At staff meetings and celebration she was always looking at me. She digs into my cell phone and asks me if I am still single. Any girls who talks to me outside work she becomes her friend.
If something happens at work she wants me to comfort her and if she get rejected for some new job she calls me cries.
My birthday was coming and she had been planning to take me out for dinner to some fancy restaurant even though I told her not to but she kept saying she wants too. One day before my birthday she comes to me asking me what kind of place do I prefer and she has got all planned out.
Then comes my birthday and she comes to work at 9 (she sits in next cubicle, btw) I could hear her talking to other people and laughing and doings her things that she normally do. So by noon she comes to me and wishes me Happy Birthday (I was thinking finally she has got time) and tells me that she is not feeling well and she also has to go to dinner, so I told her that she should go home and rest and she told me that we’ll do the dinner as soon as she is fine so that she can enjoy the good food and the good company. But the next day she came all dressed up to work and planning lunch or dinner with someone over the phone for that night and I was thinking she just bailed on me yesterday and she has the audacity to do it so loud that even I can hear it. She is the one who planned the whole thing, even though I didn’t want it.
I’m confused about the whole thing, what does she want from me? Despite rejecting me why is she getting close to me and doing all this to me. BTW she never used me for money, she must have spent more money on me then I have on her and she doesn't lie but she is very secretive.

you sir, have become a weapons grade emotional tampon/plaything for this creature! you are her poodle.
stop this right now!
"... I once told her that I like her but she told me that she sees me as a colleague and as a friend only". that is all you need to hear to realise where this was heading...nowhere!

what to do now? back off, dont engage with her, let her do any running. become indifferent, exchange polite pleasantries as you are in the same workplace. if she starts crying or complaining then become busy, dont listen to it. if she asks you questions about other women, become bague and dont give up info other than to let her know there are (and there should be) other women.
you might get a bang out of this at best but is it really worth it?

 

[Greasy Pig]

You're not attractive enough to her at this point for her to ditch her "A" guy, but she can potentially see herself branch swinging to you if the other dude doesn't work out.
She's trying to make sure that branch will be there to grab on to when she's done choking on the d1ck of the drug dealing biker she's with.
Don't buy into it. As Betheman said, be courteous but not engaging, be friendly without being friends, and learn the art of pretending to give information without really giving any at all. Politicians do this all the time.
Stay aloof man or she'll make your life a living hell.

 

[The Duke]

yep what those guys said.

A girl that is really into you won't play silly games. She is a waste of time.

 

[Warrior74]

You go to work to earn money. Act like it. Leave women at work alone.

 

[Seeker911]

Thanks everyone..I think I had all this at the back of my mind but wasn't willing to accept it but from today, I'll keep it just a professional relationship and if I'm called to a lunch or dinner I'll decline it.

 

[nismo-4]

You have turned up your betaness up past eleven! You are a lifesized emotional tampon. And she even TOLD you that you're in the friendzone. Being put in the friendzone is a rejection. God damn! Go spin more plates!

1. Women who are interested in you won't confuse you.

2. Your princess is in another castle.

3. She just wants attention from you. Attention is not arousal.

4. Mixed signals is low to no interest.

Judge nismo's ruling.

Case closed. Stop beating yourself (up).

 

[GS750]

"weapons grade emotional tampon/plaything" This made me laugh. Anyway, yeah this chick is enjoying toying with you. Like others said just keep it professional and dont play into her little game that she's playing. Messing with women at the workplace is rarely, if ever, worth it. And if she's the type of chick that I think she is (attention wh***), when it goes sour she'll claim you sexually harassed her to look like the victim...and you'll lose your effing job. Workplace tease, nothing more.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

What everybody else said.

This reminds me of a guy I sort of used to know. He worked in a nutrition shop near where I used to live. Was in great shape, did all kinds of competitions.

He had this girl that he used to hang out with. Gorgeous face and body. She just moved from the midwest to hit it big or something. Some kind of model.

Anyway, this bodybuilder was this girl's emotional tampon. Everybody I'd go in the shop, he'd tell me about they were great "friends" he always wanted more (nothing had been physical) but didn't have a clue.

I recommended that he go for broke, escalate physically see what happens.

He did (tried to kiss her or something), and he told me she went ballistic. Saying that he'd "broken the trust," and was almost in tears that he would do such a thing.

women can be (knowingly or not) the most brutal con artists of all time.

 

[Seeker911]

Thanks guys,
But one thing that will always bother me is what she did to me on my birthday, like she took her sweet ass time to come and wish me happy birthday and she sits right next to me, I wouldn't even do that to a stranger. Then cancelled the Dinner plan even though she was the one who came up with it and I kept on saying no to it all this time.
If I am freindzoned, is this something you do to a freind??

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Thanks guys,
But one thing that will always bother me is what she did to me on my birthday, like she took her sweet ass time to come and wish me happy birthday and she sits right next to me, I wouldn't even do that to a stranger. Then cancelled the Dinner plan even though she was the one who came up with it and I kept on saying no to it all this time.
If I am freindzoned, is this something you do to a freind??

When a girl calls a guy a "friend" it can mean one of several things:

1) he's a guy she finds attractive & is interested in, but they haven't crossed over to that intimate level yet

2) he's a guy she has fuvked a few times & they are sexually attracted to each other, but neither wants a commitment aka fuvk buddy

3) he's a desperate chump, who is always there for her & accepts the table scraps she gives him in return.

Understand that no girl is going to introduce a guy she knows by saying "Hi I'd like you to meet Jon, him & I are fuvk buddies." --- women are far too concerned with what others think of them and publicly always follow society's standards of acceptable behavior.

Your mistake is you are taking the word "friend" in its literal phrase.

Guys & girls are RARELY 100% platonic friends. One side usually has or develops interest in the other.
--------------------------

To answer your question about the dinner & how she talked about her lunch plans so loudly etc, its simple.

She KNOWS she has your ballz in her pursue & doesn't give a fuvk. She see's you as one of her girlfriends.

If you think about it, she gets everything she wants from the situation (attention & ego stroking) & you get pretty much nothing.

Now that you know, act accordingly. But whatever you do, don't turn bitter & show anger. Just start pulling back the attention you give her.

Believe me she will notice & when she does, be prepared for her to step it up a bit to try & entice you to turn back into a beta-chump. Don't fall for it.


Simply be cordial, still be friendly, but don't go out of your way & treat her like any other co-worker.










PIMP

 

[McMack]

God, I love this site! Your input about being played has helped me tremendously. "Remember, if you are confused about her actions or intentions, she either played you or you played yourself." That would be me. Thanks all.

 

[Seeker911]

Everyone's input really helped me put my **** together. Thanks for that!!

So this girl has been trying to keep a distance from me but this has always been the pattern, she then comes back. But now I am not going to fall for it.

 

[Seeker911]

Recently, she asked me to join her for a smoke after work so we went and as we were talking she starting acting weird and left right in the middle of the conversation. So at night I texted her to let her know that the manner in which she left was so fake, she could have done better.(Remember she is the one who asked me to come) That got her really pissed off but I told her to relax, other then work she won't hear from me and then she was like so nice to me on the text but I didn't reply and haven't seen her since and I'm on vacation.

 

[Zunder]

Recently, she asked me to join her for a smoke after work so we went and as we were talking she starting acting weird and left right in the middle of the conversation. So at night I texted her to let her know that the manner in which she left was so fake, she could have done better.(Remember she is the one who asked me to come) That got her really pissed off but I told her to relax, other then work she won't hear from me and then she was like so nice to me on the text but I didn't reply and haven't seen her since and I'm on vacation.

Assuming you are for real and this is not a bunch of fake posts from a new wind up artist, I will say this to you: Why are you giving this chick one fvcking iota of your time? :kick:

 

[potato]

Quite possibly you aren’t the only one she treats this way. There is a woman who I’ve been having a hit and run relationship with for about a decade. She has always had a collection of men who she calls her “dogs”. She’ll be real friendly with them, even give them hugs and caress them – sometimes even a little kiss. But that is all the further it ever gets. She seems to give them just enough attention to keep them interested, but never enough to amount to anything – kind of like petting a dog. Her gay neighbor says he sees her “leading men on” all the time. She does it partly out of ego, partly for her benefit. She never has to go anywhere alone and always has someone around who will fix her car, give her a ride, or do some heavy lifting.

By the way, she has never treated me as she treats her “dogs”. She lets me have my way with her. When we are out she introduces me to others with, “This is my friend, Potato.”

 

[Seeker911]

True, I am doing my best to avoid her as much as possible but the only problem is we work together and we have to interact even if we both don't want to.
But from now on I'll keep it to as minimum as possible.

 

[glass half full]

I had one of these types doing the same thing to me at work many years ago. She would flirt all week, then on Friday cancel, saying she was going out with her friend in the next state, where she was from (not far away actually). Turns out, she did this to women she worked with too, who wanted to go out partying with her. Her brother-in-law worked with me and was a friend, he really wanted us to hit it off, but he was disappointed by her actions too. Some gals are just attention *****s, and don't feel safe going past their "boundaries".

 

[Zarky]

OP is obviously very young, with few other options. He'll learn his lesson.. may take the loss of a job to do it.

 

[backbreaker]

posts like this is why i don't lose one wink of sleep over "women who play men" and **** like that. because most men bring the **** upon them selves.

i would even cut you slack up until the stint about your b day. but the seoncd she did that she would have been dead to me. and you are going back for more. so i'm not going to waste my time worrying about trying to fix your situtaiton nor should anyone else you won't follow the advice anyway

even in my worst of AFC days.. i had a story similar to yours. except on my birthday when i called hte girl who stood me up she picked up the phone while she was having sex and let me hear it. for no reason than she could. and that was the last straw for me. even in my most AFC ness, i had enough of a backbone to want to be treated better than that. and you have no back bone. why should i give a **** about a guy who goes to work and eavesdrops on his co workers phone calls hoping he can hook up with her. you aren't a real man. and you wonder why she stood you up.