Was I in the wrong?

[crimsongod3127]

Hi all ,new here,how,s everyone tonight? I started dating this woman about a month ago,she just got out of a bad relationship,so I thought it best to keep things light and simple,nothing serious. About 2 weeks in the relationship she starts saying she,s falling in love with me,I didn,t know how to react at this point,it,s way to soon,right? Week 3 she looking for a place because her roomate and her had some issues,so she told her she had a month to find a place. Middle of week 3,she text me asking how much money I had,if I could get $400 by the weekend, I said no, why,she said she wanted me to move in with her...I said way too soon. Later that night she started texting me on how she needs a full time relationship,not just part,it,s all or nothing. I called her to maybe get together and spend some time together,she said if you want to,but I want full time,not part time.This past friday,we went to get a bite to eat,went back to where she,s currently staying,she kept up with the moving in with her bit,but my answer was still the same.NO! It,s too soon!Saturday afternoon,she text me saying she likes me alot,that she wants a full time relationship,that this isnt working for her..I just wish her luck and hung up...Was I in the wrong here, maybe I diidn,t try hard enough,or was I right.?Thanks guys!
Mike Ryan

 

[Blackdon]

No yo on the right track.

 

[window]

Hey, good on you man you did the right thing...here's the best part, she would have got you to sign the lease and pay the bond. If you mix with a girl like this your life can become ruins in no time.

 

[vitor]

Signing a lease or buying a house together is like getting married and your credit will get ruined when you dump her and she stops paying the bill. If you like her call her up and pursue a bit but this chick is crazy.....

 

[decades]

you were right. :trouble:

 

[MikeEdward1973]

It's women like her that drive traffic to sites like this.

 

[jophil28]

She says," I want a fulltime relationship right now." She says so in a flustered tone.

She means, " I am in a bind because I have a housing crisis.
If I tell Crimson that I love him he might agree to shack up with me (for more pvssy) and then I have a good chance of getting him to sign that lease and pay at least half of the rent. "

 

[Deep Dish]

Where is the confusion? Where is the possibility of having done wrong? Heck, the whole quick "I love you" sounds dubious, full of ulterior motivation. And $400 by the weekend? Pahlease. I have fraudulent food stamp recipients who try to be more a little more subtle in their scams.

 

[STR8UP]

Moving in with her would be like jumping on a ticking bomb to keep it from exploding.

Things like this get MESSY

 

[Warrior74]

HELL NO YOU WEREN'T WRONG! This chick was trying to hustle you man! Your gut saved the day. She thought she found a sucker, a chump, a sosymp not a pimp to be her new meal ticket. You felt the manipulation, and you did the right thing. You are wising up! :rockon: ***** can ruin your life if you let it and you didn't. Your the man now dawg.

 

[Mr. Me]

You dodged a fatal bullet.

People can't really love someone within two weeks. They just don't know that person. She may have "fallen in love" which, at such an early stage, is more about her being infatuated and mistaking those feelings for that of real love.

To live together, or even commit to someone, within three weeks of dating them is way too soon and the cause of so many problems later on when you find out what you got yourself hooked up with. You have to question someone who is willing to do that after just three weeks. Hey, there are folks that move in after a few months and it's half a year later that they find out the other person has previously undiscovered issues surfacing. Except now all your stuff is in her closet, know what I mean?

To compound that with needing someone else to make the rent payment makes such a wrong basis for a relationship, don't you think?

Well, maybe she takes that to mean you don't want her, maybe her girlfriends have parroted that to her, who knows, who cares? You did well by sticking to your guns and letting her walk, and you did well in simply wishing her luck and saying goodbye. Way to go!

It wasn't that you didn't "try hard enough". When it's the right person, you don't really have to try to make it work. Or "try hard enough".

 

[NewMan]

Good job - stay the course.

 

[vitor]

Her last boyfriend was probally a push over wimp.

BTW do you live at home with your parents or something? How does she expect you to just break a lease, or stop living where ever you are living now so you can move in with her?

 

[sodbuster]

I'm betting cluster B or Bi polar. There is no way in hell she should want to move in this soon if she was a normal healthy woman. Do a seaarch on this site about BPD or cluster B's.After about 1/2 hour of reading see if it clicks.

 

[guru1000]

Same end result with a couple of years saved. This is why NEXTing is a DJ's most powerful weapon.

Screen and eject.

 

[Mike32ct]

You did it right. Don't give it a second thought, and don't look back.

 

[Nutz]

Nope. You stuck to your guns and that's actually going to be more attractive in the long run. I've seen it over and over again when the women make ultimatums like that and the guys tell them to GTFO/show them the door, the women will get pissed and leave, but eventually come back on the man's terms if she's actually really into him. It's the same if they want to get exclusive and you don't. I've heard friend's FBs/FWBs say this as well, "I'd rather share him than not have him at all" or some iteration thereof.

Stick to your guns.