Was I even in love, I got over it fast.

[Willard]

My long distance relationship of two months ended for good, yesterday. I was pretty upset for a few hours. Then I spoke on the phone to a girl I met online the day before. I know your not supposed to talk about exes, but somehow we talked about my ex and all the crap she put me through with her jealousy,nagging,being insulting, being selfish, and *****y. We spoke for about 3 hours during the day and another three at night. I feel so much better, I think i might be over it.

Does that mean I wasn't in love with her? Because if it does, I'm going to try to have her as a friend with benefits, when she tries to contact me in a month to 3 months, I'm pretty sure she will. I will absolutely not contact her first, and if she does I will wait a week before I get back to her. The other girl isn't a rebound she is really cool, plus I'm going out with the girl I had to dump because of the long distance one took most of my time. The reason I want friends with benefits is because the sex was amazing. I just looked at some pics of the ex, and I do miss her a little, I don't really feel sad anymore. I'm going to have a new relationship with someone else, I just to bang the ex when she visits my area with her friends.

 

[Warrior74]

Can't be in love with imaginary friends.

http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/20/letting-go-of-invisible-friend/

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Willard,
Love at 46 is asking a bit....in my expoerience,Lust,minor infatuations come and go but Love is for the young,its power fades as one ages or perhaps becomes jaded...So keep her as Plate and get the contact details with her friends!

 

[pdx1138]

well, you had an instant plate option to spin, that helps greatly.

Also if you've been burned before you probably had your internal guard up which would also help.

It's best to move on even though she was hot. I've been there, it's very difficult but the right thing to do.

 

[amoka]

My long distance relationship of two months ended for good, yesterday. I was pretty upset for a few hours. Then I spoke on the phone to a girl I met online the day before. I know your not supposed to talk about exes, but somehow we talked about my ex and all the crap she put me through with her jealousy,nagging,being insulting, being selfish, and *****y. We spoke for about 3 hours during the day and another three at night. I feel so much better, I think i might be over it.

Talking on the phone with a girl you met online a day prior for 6 hours in one day? Damn, I hate to tell you this but you have a serious problem. The good news is whatever problem it is, it can be solved. I STRONGLY suggest you go back to the basics by first reading the DJ bible and creating a journal (take a look at countless of others journals for clues. You can take a look at mine if you want. Click on the journal on signature). This will help you build a mindset, which I am afraid you don't have at the moment and if you don't have the right mindset, you are bound to REPEAT any of the things you did to cause your ex to breakup with you.

Does that mean I wasn't in love with her?

Someone already provided a good response to this question.

Because if it does, I'm going to try to have her as a friend with benefits, when she tries to contact me in a month to 3 months,

Sorry but you can't have her as a friend with benefits Not after she breakup the relationship. The only time you'll have that chance is if she gets dumped by another guy and she needs someone to rebound with AND she is not able to find anybody else THEN she'll call you.

I'm pretty sure she will.

No, she'll not call you for anything other than to tell you to mail her sweater to he mom's house.

I will absolutely not contact her first, and if she does I will wait a week before I get back to her.

Alright Casanova, give us the link to where you read that from. It seems you've read it from somewhere that ignoring and not picking up when women call can actually increase their interest levels but you don't really know why. If you ignore them simply because it someone who applied the technique effectively and thought it will work for you as well, then you're mistaken. Attempting this technique, at your current state of mind, will only put burden on yourself since you are so eager to talk to get in touch with her.

The other girl isn't a rebound she is really cool, plus I'm going out with the girl I had to dump because of the long distance one took most of my time. The reason I want friends with benefits is because the sex was amazing. I just looked at some pics of the ex, and I do miss her a little, I don't really feel sad anymore. I'm going to have a new relationship with someone else, I just to bang the ex when she visits my area with her friends.

Take things easy. You need to work on your inner game; otherwise, you'll be back here in two months time with the same problem but with a different woman.

I am probably hash on you but that's the only best way I know to put it.

Good luck.

 

[Willard]

Thanks amoka, your advice is very helpful. She will call, I'm sure of it. Before she met me she had a long distance with a extremely wealthy oil guy from London, she's rich as well, but not that rich. Anyway the guy blew her off, now he's paying her attention again, and she wants to meet up with her again. When she told me that I said it was over. She is a hard to get along with *****, this dude will not want her long term, because he probably has his choice of women.

She was really serious about me, I was flying to Canada every other weekend, staying at her house, with her kids there, plus I met all her friends.

She said a few times, if I didn't work out with us in the short run, she though we would end up together in the future.

The sex we had was great, I am really giving in bed when I'm really attracted to someone. I know nobody did the things I did with her. I would make her orgasm with oral all the time, I would kiss her back all over, give her massages on her back and feet, hour long foreplay, that kind of stuff.

I didn't handle the end perfectly, but she wanted to still talk and text every day. I said no way, I want no contact so I can get over her. I still left the door open to her contacting me again. So eventually she will. I plan to handle that like a pro when that time happens, with lessons I learn from this site.

She visits my area a couple of times a year, she said she wants to see again when she visits, during our break up conversation.

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'll see her again.

The girl I spoke to for hours. I talk and text every day now, we have amazing conversations, even if it doesn't go anywhere, she really helped me to get over the ex. She is pretty hot, Spanish, doesn't have kids, owns a home, has a good job.

Any further advise would be greatly appreciated.

 

[abe0]

Sounds like lust to me. I recently went through a breakup after only one month with the most incredibly sexy love making machine. I never loved her and I knew after ten days that this was not going to be long term. I miss her pu**y but I do not miss her. If she wants to call me in the future for friends with benefits...that's cool...but I do not think about it. If she does...fine ...if I never hear from her again....good riddance!!!! Abe

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Willard,
You are an accident waiting to happen...This infatuation with a Bvitchy Woman will end in tears!...Yours!

 

[Willard]

Scaramouche, I'm sure your right. I just off off the phone with the new one, after a couple hours of talking. Our conversations are amazing, neither one of us want to end them, plus we text all the time. That made me realize what a bvitchy woman the ex is, Our conversations were stressfull most of the time, with her questioning me and making me explain myself all the time. . I don't want her back, I do think she will want sex from me, even If I won't take her back. When she visits, i'm going to give it to her, unless this current one works out, then I couldn't because she is the most honest, person I have met in a while. She doesn't drink or go out to clubs, no kids, no baggage. I have cheated in the past and maybe I will again, but I thinks it's possible I might not with her. So imagine If I told the ex I didn't even want to bang her. That would be priceless. I might even tell her I was going out on dates every weekend I was home, trying to meet someone local who I liked as much as her, I really tried too, one girl I went with twice, and really liked her, I thought she might work, then she blows me off. Lol

 

[abe0]

Okay....let it go with the old one...do not tell her anything...just let it go. You are blowing it with the new one by spending so much time talking, texting, and let her know about your x gf. Remember....anything you tell this new one will be used against you at a later date. Stop whining to the new one. Chicks want to be your new center of attention and do not want to hear about your past chickies. Also, again, you are telling her too much and eventually she will loose interest in you too. You are not being the mystery man that most chickies want.....
IMHO....Abe

 

[abe0]

One more thing Willard...I am guilty of everything you are doing and I do not want you to screw things up like I have in the past. Best, Abe

 

[amoka]

Scaramouche, I'm sure your right. I just off off the phone with the new one, after a couple hours of talking. Our conversations are amazing, neither one of us want to end them, plus we text all the time. That made me realize what a bvitchy woman the ex is, Our conversations were stressfull most of the time, with her questioning me and making me explain myself all the time. . I don't want her back, I do think she will want sex from me, even If I won't take her back. When she visits, i'm going to give it to her, unless this current one works out, then I couldn't because she is the most honest, person I have met in a while. She doesn't drink or go out to clubs, no kids, no baggage. I have cheated in the past and maybe I will again, but I thinks it's possible I might not with her. So imagine If I told the ex I didn't even want to bang her. That would be priceless. I might even tell her I was going out on dates every weekend I was home, trying to meet someone local who I liked as much as her, I really tried too, one girl I went with twice, and really liked her, I thought she might work, then she blows me off. Lol

I don't think you understand what Scaramouche ment but hey, it is your song. You can dance to it anyhow you want. Just so you know, you WILL get the same results if you continue doing the same thing.

Thanks amoka, your advice is very helpful. She will call, I'm sure of it. Before she met me she had a long distance with a extremely wealthy oil guy from London, she's rich as well, but not that rich. Anyway the guy blew her off, now he's paying her attention again, and she wants to meet up with her again. When she told me that I said it was over. She is a hard to get along with *****, this dude will not want her long term, because he probably has his choice of women.

She was really serious about me, I was flying to Canada every other weekend, staying at her house, with her kids there, plus I met all her friends.

She said a few times, if I didn't work out with us in the short run, she though we would end up together in the future.

The sex we had was great, I am really giving in bed when I'm really attracted to someone. I know nobody did the things I did with her. I would make her orgasm with oral all the time, I would kiss her back all over, give her massages on her back and feet, hour long foreplay, that kind of stuff.

I didn't handle the end perfectly, but she wanted to still talk and text every day. I said no way, I want no contact so I can get over her. I still left the door open to her contacting me again. So eventually she will. I plan to handle that like a pro when that time happens, with lessons I learn from this site.

She visits my area a couple of times a year, she said she wants to see again when she visits, during our break up conversation.

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'll see her again.

The girl I spoke to for hours. I talk and text every day now, we have amazing conversations, even if it doesn't go anywhere, she really helped me to get over the ex. She is pretty hot, Spanish, doesn't have kids, owns a home, has a good job.

Any further advise would be greatly appreciated.

Nope.

 

[SecondHalf]

Willard, I won't advise much given you've already received some sound advice.
However, "Flying to Canada every other week"?
I would only consider that type of investment if you were staying at her house with her two additional twin sisters for foursomes, she had no kids, and her friends would drop by to get a little extra from this visiting foreign man named Willard!

Of course she invited you to meet all her friends. Think of the bragging rights that would give her "I'm so hot, this guy travels from US ever other weekend to be with me". This likely added to your value to her. Also I'm thinking you paid a bit when you were visiting (dinner out, pizza for the brats, wine?).

Only spend time on local women (unless they come to you, then ... who cares).

Love? Whew, best figure out what that is. I mean in a clinical sense, not a romantic sense. Scar is 100% correct, it's for the young. "Love" at your age needs to be understood. If you want/need it (which you seem to), you need to figure out why (this won't be obvious, this will be the death of Mr. Denial and some pretty significant self awareness of your mental health). BTW, I'm not judging, it's a road I've not completely finished traveling either. It's like getting a cult out of your head, there are temptations to pull that wool back over your eyes, maybe forever - dunno, haven't lived forever.

As for the online chick whom you dumped on for 6 hours... Meh, typically you dump into them, this one you dumped on. If she want's to be your therapist, hey, there are pathetics everywhere, use them if they'll let you, if you need to. However, when you figure out the previous paragraph, this type of dumping will no longer be necessary.

Your challenge for the future needs to be how to get into a woman's pants while spending only double digit dollars (three cheap dates max). Remember, if you're bent on finding an eventual life partner, the more cash you have the easier it is.

SH