Was going to breakup with GF but didn't.

[choychoy12]

So this is what's happening.

Girl friend, wanted to break from me, because alot of her guy friends dont ask her out anymore, because there afraid it will distrub me.

Girl friend tells her friends that she's had enough, she tired of her friends feeling weird about asking her out because of me and she wants a break from me.

I confront girlfriend, tell her she can have her break.
Girlfriend asks. Have you ever thought of being with other people? Have you ever seen yourself with other people.

I reply "no". Girl friend, insists that i'm lying, and says that she could see her self with this other guy she met 3 weeks ago together in the future. She said she used to only see herself with me, but now she can with other guys.

I get pissed off and tell her thats its over and that lets break up now.
and that were just not meant for each other were two completly different people.
So I've jsut dumped her and walked out the door.

Girlfriend, screams back and insists i stay and talk things over.

I reluctantly stay and i dont appreciate her attitude towards me.. And that i feel like a lower prioirty than her friends and that i dont want that.

After all is said, we end up parting, because we both have appointments with friends... i hang out with friends and do my own thing, she hangs out with hers, and does her own thing.

Later in the night, meet gf again. Sit down and talk. Girlfriend Saying she doesnt want to be with any other guy and just wants to be with me.
Girlfriend says she doesnt want to break or break up, and wants to stay with me. Gf says she's happy with me, and she was only thinking of this other guy, because he kept calling her and we were having issues.

I just sit there and think about it, because the fact the she even thought of another guy when she was with me, just really pisses me off. And is enough for me to next to her right there.

In the end gf has nothing to say, she is not the kind of girl that doesn't thinks before she speaks, she is witty. And realizes only after what she has done wrong. that she has done wrong.
So in the end she just says sorry, because she realizes she cannot take back what she said about the other guy.

So i'm stuck there in the position whether or not i want to take her back or dump her ass....
Its hard because i still care about this girl alot. She is definetly a rare HB9.!!!!! in looks and many many guys are waiting in line for her.
But then again I am considered a good looking guy.. with many girls.

After a long silence, I am somehow turned to thinking of giving it another shot.

What do you guys think?

 

[ChenCristos]

how about you dont actually take her back but just continue to have sex with her. shes not worth the mental anguish of being exclusive with.

 

[MindOverMatter]

I think you made a huge mistake in taking her back. Your girl, admitted to you about wanting to date another guy. The only reason she cried afterwards was cause you made her feel like a ho. Instead of being happy you just dodged a bullet, you took her back like a sucker.

I end up saying that i still like her, but if she ever does anything with another guy, or tells me about other guys. I'm going to break up with her.

Lol. That's an empty threat. If you were going to break up with her over this, you would have done it already. This girl has you wrapped around her finger and she knows it. A little tears, a few "I'm sorrys" and you take the b!tch back. The only reason she agreed to your terms was because next time she thinks about another guy, or actually sleeps with another guy - she'll keep it to herself.

You've pretty much given your girl a licence to cheat.

 

[choychoy12]

I dont think its as simple as that.. I was really prepared to break up with her. But it is really because I do care about her alot. after 7months in a relatinoship, it tends to happen.

I am also a christian so with that comes alot of compassion and patience and tolerance and forgiveness.

I totally emphasised the fact that I wanted to break up with her because of this other guy. And when we were discussing a break up, i didnt just say. Yup lets get back together, We sat there for hours and hours. it was tormenting her. And then i finally said lets give it another shot.

But If she still didnt have strong feelings for me and wanted to be with this other guy, wouldn't she have been more than happy when i dumped her?

But yet, she still wanted to stay with me, i was more than happy to say lets break up. And you get with this other guy.

Also the fact that she told me that she could see herself with another guy in the future. At least she was being honest. But i do believe she only said that, to piss me off. Because she wanted a break.

So you guys think? I'm a sucker and that i'm in for some more mental anguish? And that I should just once and for all next this girl?

I also feel quite awkward now. Even though I've taken her back. And she's said that she wants to be with me and all and she doesnt want any other guy. I still dont know how to face it. There are all these unconscious negative feelings in my head?

Suggestions?? How should i deal with this? Is nexting her really the only solution. ?

 

[djbr]

Originally posted by choychoy12
I dont think its as simple as that.. I was really prepared to break up with her. But it is really because I do care about her alot. after 7months in a relatinoship, it tends to happen.

What tends to happen also is that you lose a lot of your care for yourself if you don't have your shyt together.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You are an utter fool if you believe the sentiments of her teary-eyed response!!!!!

Leave this ho and tell her that you are a man and contained within your manhood there is a thing called dignity and when a woman wants other men around her other than her man then this is undignified and it is not to the standard of a woman but it is to the standards of a hor !!

Tell her, you are now not my g/f but rather you are my hor and I am your pimp and such is our relationship!!!

Treat her like the hor that she is - she'll love you for it!!!!

Oh yeah - slap tha hor for disrespecting you!!!!

HoSlap.net

 

[NRM]

Should have kept walking my friend.

The guys are right, after she admits some crazy claim after getting angry at you, she's going to want to take it back after she's thought about it.

It's sort of good that she speaks before she thinks, at least you can grapple some of that honesty out of her. She's imagined herself with other guys. She's not happy with you. She's thought it all over. She probably thought you'd be more teary eyed and she wouldn't be the one crying. You held your ground, but gave in the second she told you to stay. Should have kept walking, it was over then and there.

Everybody thinks about someone else when they are in a relationship at least once or twice. But to admit to seeing yourself with someone else for the rest of your life is ridiculous. It's the simple ideology that says that if you're with a person, you aren't seeing yourself with someone else, because if you do, you should break it off then and there and quit wasting your time.

You're probably sitting around thinking about reasons not to leave her, but I think you're man enough to know the right choice.

 

[choychoy12]

So the fact that I'm still with her? What should i be doing now? Just tell her that, I've reconsidered and i'm moving on? Is there any chance of getting that respect back into the relatinoship?

As i've told her, I'm quite happy with myself, i'm not sad or fustrated, i'm happy with or without her.

What do you guys think??

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by choychoy12
Girl friend tells her friends that she's had enough, she tired of her friends feeling weird about asking her out because of me and she wants a break from me.

I confront girlfriend, tell her she can have her break.
Girlfriend asks. Have you ever thought of being with other people? Have you ever seen yourself with other people.

I reply "no". Girl friend, insists that i'm lying, and says that she could see her self with this other guy she met 3 weeks ago together in the future. She said she used to only see herself with me, but now she can with other guys.

Dude, if you don't know, she has already been sexing other dudes!!!! Don't ask her because she'll deny it!!!!

She is going to make you look like a chump in front of your and her friends because she'll be doing shyt with guys behind your back!!! Do some reconnaissance!!

Don't ever be emotionally involved with her - just pimp her for the hor that she is and seek a more worthy companion!!!

 

[medjaun]

I agree with these guys, once she says something like that she cant just take it back. You will never be able to trust her deep down and it wont be good for the relationship so just get out now. I speak from experience and wish I never took back the hor that said **** like that to me, now I know better.

 

[Stem]

Uggg.. Please... if you have a problem with a girl.. Don’t come here.. all you’ll get is the same standard answer.. NEXT her..
Guys here keep going on about being a DJ.. That they are the MAN!!.. But let me ask you this. Since when does a “MAN” run from something...

Let’s say you’re slacking at work, but you are not really aware of it.. Then one day your boss comes and says “Hey, we’ve been noticing your production is down, so we’ve been looking at a replacement if you don’t turn it back up.” Now do you get pissed off at your boss and say **** you, I quit.. Or do you go.. Dam, I need to get my **** together!!

If your only answer to any problem is NEXT, then you’re not the man you believe you are.. you’re a wuss, a symp, a scared little boy afraid to get his poor little heart hurt. It’s weak, and screams if insecurity.. Grow up!!

Guys here think once they are with a girl, they are property, and if she screws up it’s her fault.. Since when did we become such hypocritical *******s.. Being exclusive should not come from the need to conform to some social standards, and not even from some desire to save your partner from hurt or pain. Being exclusive should come from the desire to just BE exclusive.. It’s something you want to do, because your love for that person makes it the natural thing to do. And if it does not, then don’t.. If some girl cheats, or thinks about cheating and you automatically NEXT her.. That’s nothing but YOU running form yourself, not acknowledging the root cause of the problem.. That you no longer DO IT for her.. Now why not use this and experiment with her, try things, what have you left to lose?? If we don’t take the time to learn, we will never succeed, and we will forever be stuck in our own depressing prison... Anybody can get a girl, the biggest AFC in the world can get a girl, but can he hang onto her?? And if you can’t either, what does that make you??

Now Choychoy12, first you need to realize that you slipped up. Your “production” was down and she was thinking about replacing you.. (NOTE.. production here does not mean, you are not doing enough, more then likely you are doing to much) You had her once, (got the job) which means you were doing something right. But are no longer..

She came running back because you showed some balls, you let her know that “you didn’t need her” and you were happy to leave... Congrats.. that was the correct thing to do.. Always keep the illusion up that you are willing to just walk away from any girl, even 5min after you get married..

You put to much importance on this girl, you became to available, needy, and easy pray for her.. Don’t be so available to her, don’t be so predictable, don’t be so needy.. Try practicing apathy... Your number one enemy here is yourself, not her.

If she calls and says “Sorry but I can’t come over tonight I forget I had to bla bla bla.”
You say.. “Come over?? you were coming over?? Oh man, I forgot about that. I already made other plans with someone else, In fact I was just about to head out, so I gata go”

Then hang the **** up, and go out and do something.. Go walk around the block 20times, I don’t care.. and for the love of god.. Don’t pickup the phone when she calls back looking for you... It may sound stupid and childish, but sometimes just doing the opposite of what she is expecting is the best thing to do in order to get her attention back.. She would normally be expecting you to get mad, or disappointed about her calling and braking a date or whatever.. Show that you don’t care, that you actually forgot about her and made other plans...
Now don’t become a prick about this and do it all the time.. Remember you are training a 6year old, sometimes you need to lay down the law, and let them know this is unacceptable behavior.

What if she doesn’t start to behave?? Well you walk, don’t argue about it, don’t talk about it.. Just say Goodbye.. Always be willing to leave... ALWAYS.... But at the same time, be understand, if she’s in school and has exams and is stressed out.. Don’t be a selfish prick....
The greatest thing you can do for a woman, is show that you don’t really need her....

If she is not chasing you, you are chasing her, and they always run...

Flame away boys...

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

well the fact is, and I am a testiment to this....you get attached to certain people

Right now, you are attached to her....basically, you dont think that another woman could fill her bill, so to speak.

So do this my friend, I want you to keep your positive attitude, dont get mad at all women for this because it is not their fault, really, haha....and do this.

Go out and meet 10 new chicks. Go on some dates, fvck here and there, but you are a christian which is awesome, so if you dont wanna fvck, then you dont have to but meet 10 new chicks.

After doing this, is if you still want this girl...if you do....pm me or reply to me....okay

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

stem...haha, you have got to be...

THE MOST HONEST MAN THIS ON THIS DAMN SITE..

All these so called experienced don juans go on about being a man and not taking this or that, honestly, it sounds like they are a little bitter and unhappy themselves and afraid to love a-gain....they need an attitude adjustment back to positive and from the negative...excellent reply bro.

 

[wudiez]

Yup agreed!

 

[squirrels]

She told you to your face she was thinking about cheating on you, man.

I'd keep her around for practice squad/special teams, but find a new girl to put the franchise tag on.

I don't care if she IS an "HB9". I'm with PRL on this.

 

[choychoy12]

No she didnt say she would cheat on me.
She said there was this other guy, who liked her, and wanted to go out with her, but she woulnd't because she was with me. But she was interested in him.

She went on to explain that i'd do the same. Which i probrably would of, if we had issues and this hot chic came into my life and told me she liked me and thought i was really hot. And kept messaging me. That i too would also be interested in her.

Which is definetly true? I would be interseted in a hot girl if she came into my life when we were having issues??

What do you guys think?

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

yeah, the saying goes, that if it is worthwhile, then it involves a lot of struggle....however....

Struggling is to stand when there is no more strength to stand.....struggling people are those on the street corners (which I dont understand why the gov. allows this, but thats another topic), struggling are those people who are hungry but have nothing to eat....

The only struggle that should occur in relationships, are the due to lack of money, lack of time, lack of resources, HOWEVER....not lack of commitment.

If one partner is sleeping with other people, then they are not committed to a relationship, thus, this is no relationship, rather an arrangement.

Arrangements are when two people meet at a certain time, for a certain purpose.

Relationships are when two people BOND for all times, through whatever purposes.

Please dont be mad at all women, it is not their fault....I want you to do this buddy....

Go out and see these other women I was talking about, what you will find are women just like your current girlfriend, but without the other arrangements. You will find someone who is looking to be in a relationship, and you soon will forget all about this current girl.

I was there too buddy. I got bitter for a long time, I blamed God and society and myself as well! But the only thing I SHOULD HAVE DONE, was forgave her, and met new women.......

Women are attracted to you bro.......some just want arrangements and some want relationships....you seem like you want a relationship........so monitor what she does and not what she says....this will prove whether or not she is relationship material...

Much Love bro--PvssyEater

 

[flyinshark]

Stem, great first post on these boards! I share the same thinking as you regarding the fact that a real man does not next right away, unless he has proof that his woman cheated on him.

In another thread of choychoy12, i said the following, which resembles what you said:

Let's see this in a different light. I think it's not the girl's fault. Mr. choychoy12 said he has been spending way too much time with his girl. In return, she lost interest, because he seemed too needy and dependent on her. So it's choychoy12's fault first!

Maybe now she is kissing the other guy, but maybe not. My point is that this should be an alarm for choychoy12, and he should take action. Not by dumping his girl. But by seeing her less often. Two, three times a week should be sufficient. Not more. Then, she'll want him more and stop spending time with the other dude. She'll make more time for choychoy12 and their relationship could keep going in a healthy way.

Why dump so fast, accusing the girl immediately? Can't a guy recognize and admit that HE was wrong? When we make mistakes (spending too much time with gf), we should learn from them and try to improve our game. It's a test for choychoy12. He should try to get his girl back, and show how great a DJ he is.

Dumping right away is like running away as soon as the problem arises. I see that as AFC and cowardish. Don't get me wrong, if you have proof that your girl has been cheating or she does something inexcusable, then i totally agree with dumping the hor.

flyinshark

Stay true to your views and opinions, as i think some new blood on this thread can't do any harm. Cheers!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by choychoy12
......She said there was this other guy, who liked her, and wanted to go out with her, ........... But she was interested in him.

Dude, are you mentally deaf????

This is not an issue of opinions!!!!!!

She wants to date other dudes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she bluntly stated such to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Don Juanabbe]

The mere fact that she wanted to dump you because she wasn't getting asked out by her guy friends anymore since you've been on the scene is just........fawked.