Was/Am I really blind as a bat?

[SolidGold]

Hey all! An avid reader but a new poster here.

So I have a situation for you to give me your insight. So here it goes!

I'm a 21 year old dude. Not been a fan of the whole "relationship" concept, I am known for spinning plates and for some occasional one night stands. But this time things got a bit different...

A month ago, me and two of my best friends decided to go clubbing. The two of them brought their respective girlfriends and one of them brought her 18-year-old blond HB9 sister with whom I spend all night talking and making out and we ended up having sex.

Even though she's a bit immature, she's very fun to be with (and extremely gorgeous).

The following days, the girl added me on facebook (some of her friends did the same) and began constantly starting conversations with me and we would bust eachothers balls all the time. She even started to go out with my friends which was something she never did before. In all of these outings, at first she was always shy but as time went by and I started to make her at ease, we started to act like a couple (and I started to develop feelings for her). Sometimes, my friends would even start to talking about my "women experience" (exs and stuff like that) and she was visibly upset by it (which seems to me like a very positive sign). But in those outings, we never got to spend some time just the two us.

After the last time (last week) we got out (again in group), she has changed her behaviour completely. The following times (3 times or so) I chatted with her on facebook, we only talked for 5 minutes because she had to leave (one time, she even stayed online, after saying goodbye, for 30 minutes or so). And the last time, we were talking about some event, and I said to her " I'm going to the event and I think you should come with me". But she never spoke again.

Seriously, usually it's me that gives ladies a cold shower and now that I'm going "gaga" for this girl, she's behaving like a spoiled brat? What the *bleep* happened that I totally missed?

Thanks for the replys

 

[PeakIV]

she turned the tables - it's what happens

 

[Fly By Night]

I feel like NC happens too often around here, but it seems to be in order. She is starting to lose interest (for whatever reason) and she is starting to show disrespect by stopping convos with you. Did you have sex with her more than that one time?

 

[GotED?]

Immaturity breeds immature interests - Emotional Immaturity exists in women of all ages, from your age (18+) even 30+ (unlucky me) and even 40+, mostly belonging to HB 7, 8, 9+ women who are entitled to having anything and everything they wanted since they developed boobs, perfect face, and HB body.

So here you are young, learn from your mistakes - immaturity breeds immature decision making, immature blind lust, immature attention which comes AS QUICKLY/FAST AS IT GOES. This is the fact of life. If you want quality (relationship), steer clear of the girls that come on quick & strong because they will run and dump you just as quick and strong.

With respect,

Exodus

 

[Greasy Pig]

Maybe you stopped being a challenge for her and showed you care too much.
You might not think you did but women can pick up on that shyt, no matter how subtle it is or how tight you think your game is.

I'd withdraw attention and let her re-initiate. If you keep trying to contact her and force her attraction, you'll only end up making her despise you more.

If she does re-initiate contact, keep it light and funny, do NOT ask to meet up, chat for a minute or two and then make an excuse to leave.
Look for any clues that indicate she'd be receptive to meeting up but don't take the bait. It's a balancing act now.
Don't make her think you don't want to see her again but don't appear too eager.

 

[SolidGold]

I feel like NC happens too often around here, but it seems to be in order. She is starting to lose interest (for whatever reason) and she is starting to show disrespect by stopping convos with you. Did you have sex with her more than that one time?

No, just that one time.

Maybe you stopped being a challenge for her and showed you care too much.
You might not think you did but women can pick up on that shyt, no matter how subtle it is or how tight you think your game is.

I'd withdraw attention and let her re-initiate. If you keep trying to contact her and force her attraction, you'll only end up making her despise you more.

If she does re-initiate contact, keep it light and funny, do NOT ask to meet up, chat for a minute or two and then make an excuse to leave.
Look for any clues that indicate she'd be receptive to meeting up but don't take the bait. It's a balancing act now.
Don't make her think you don't want to see her again but don't appear too eager.

Yes, that's what I intended to do. I just don't see why the sudden change in such a short period of time: One day she's getting extremely jealous when my friends talk about ex-girlfriends or ex-one timers and acting all interested and the next day she's just acting like an ass.

 

[cordoncordon]

Maybe she got sick and tired of hearing about all your ex's and past girls that you were banging? A little of that is ok, it shows you have worth. But to hear it all the time? Especially as an 18 year old girl? That would have to get old real quick. I know if I was dating a girl and I had to hear about all of her ex's from her friends all the time? That would be a huge turn off, not a IL raiser. I would be thinking "is this girl even interested in me? Or am I just another notch on the bedpost"? And I would probably do the same as this girl, just start to disappear...after banging her a few more times of course.

Think about it.

 

[SolidGold]

Maybe she got sick and tired of hearing about all your ex's and past girls that you were banging? A little of that is ok, it shows you have worth. But to hear it all the time? Especially as an 18 year old girl? That would have to get old real quick. I know if I was dating a girl and I had to hear about all of her ex's from her friends all the time? That would be a huge turn off, not a IL raiser. I would be thinking "is this girl even interested in me? Or am I just another notch on the bedpost"? And I would probably do the same as this girl, after banging her a few more times of course.

Think about it.

I totally understand what your saying man. In fact, whenever they start to talk about the subject, I always tried to change it. In fact, the last time we went out and they were talking about it, she was sitting next to me drawing a big heart on a piece of paper and I told my friends to shut up about that and started helping her in the draw but she pushed me way.

 

[cordoncordon]

I totally understand what your saying man. In fact, whenever they start to talk about the subject, I always tried to change it. In fact, the last time we went out and they were talking about it, she was sitting next to me drawing a big heart on a piece of paper and I told my friends to shut up about that and started helping her in the draw but she pushed me way.

I don't know but for some reason that sounds really really gay to me. haha Don't do that again. Srs.

But yeah, based on that reaction and the amount of times she had to hear it? I would say the issue is the too much ex talk.

What can you do? What I would do is STOP GOING OUT WITH HER AND YOUR FRIENDS at the same time. Cmon man. Ask her out on a date. Just you two. You don't need your friends there to hold your hand and to talk during those uncomfortable "quiet moments". Be a man and take her out. It really is that simple.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Your friends blew it for you.

A girl decides how she feels about you when she is away from you, not when you're with her. When you are away from each other her little brain hamster runs and runs and she either talks herself into being in love with you or talks herself into reasons why it's won't work out.

You need to either have a serious talk with your friends or find new ones because they screwed you over on this. This, however, does not make you an innocent victim because you chose these friends and chances are, you do the same things they do. In other words, you need to ask yourself if this were happening to another guy in your group, would join in with the group telling his girlfriend about his previous exploits?

 

[SolidGold]

I don't know but for some reason that sounds really really gay to me. haha Don't do that again. Srs.

But yeah, based on that reaction and the amount of times she had to hear it? I would say the issue is the too much ex talk.

What can you do? What I would do is STOP GOING OUT WITH HER AND YOUR FRIENDS at the same time. Cmon man. Ask her out on a date. Just you two. You don't need your friends there to hold your hand and to talk during those uncomfortable "quiet moments". Be a man and take her out. It really is that simple.

I know it sounds gay ahahah But hey, I was just trying to (in an almost desperate - aka gay - way) arrange the situation ahahaha

Ask her out on a date? That's what I did... and she didn't answer. Not a no nor a yes.

 

[cordoncordon]

Do not email. Do not text her to ask for a date. Call Her!

 

[SolidGold]

Your friends blew it for you.

A girl decides how she feels about you when she is away from you, not when you're with her. When you are away from each other her little brain hamster runs and runs and she either talks herself into being in love with you or talks herself into reasons why it's won't work out.

You need to either have a serious talk with your friends or find new ones because they screwed you over on this. This, however, does not make you an innocent victim because you chose these friends and chances are, you do the same things they do. In other words, you need to ask yourself if this were happening to another guy in your group, would join in with the group telling his girlfriend about his previous exploits?

Interesting point... One of those friends is her sister... For what reason would she blew it?

 

[cordoncordon]

The problem isnt really the friends. OP, if your friends are all in the 18 to 21 age range they're all going to be a little on the immature side and either blatantly or subconsciously trying to ruin things with you and the girl.

And that is not a problem how? I don't get it, in one sentence you say the issue isn't her friends, and then the very next sentence you say the friends are trying to ruin things. OF course this is the problem. 18 year old girls are VERY influenced by outside forces such as friends. IF they keep harping about what a male slvt OP is, she is going to believe them.

 

[SolidGold]

Actually, on the night we f*cked, whenever we tried to separate from the rest of the group (was it for dancing or just to get drinks), she would deliberately come with us just to check out what we were doing. And anytime we would hold hands or hug or something like that, she did everything she could to separate us.

 

[cordoncordon]

I said the problem isn't really the friends bc i believe it's more the OP's reputation that is the problem here. The OP can try to isolate the sister all he wants but her opinion will always win. The sister is reacting the way she is, I suspect, bc of the OP's negative rep.

Cordon, Solid Gold has already followed your advice (call the girl and ask her out alone) and it didn't work.

SG, you need to cool out for a bit. This girl is upset, and you need to give her at least 3-4 days to cool down. Maybe even more. Then ask her out alone. Now's the time to act like a nice guy, bc by acting like a jerk you will only be reinforcing her bad opinion of you.

There is little chance to save something like this when the girl feels this angry at you this early in a relationship (her refusal to respond to you is her way of punishing you). In a few days, text her and ask her how she's doing. Until then, go complete ghost, including on facebook. Give her a chance to miss you.

But that is my point. She has this version of his reputation because of his friends talking about all his ex's in front of her. Without his friends blabbing, she has no idea about any of this. Unless the OP has been adding fuel to the fire and talking about them too, which he says he has not. So I am not quite understanding what you are getting at here Brad.

As far as what he should do? I agree-wait a few days, then CALL. And I assumed OP understood when I said he should call a few posts back, that didn't mean just that instant. Give it a little time, then call and ask her out. IF she says no or doesn't respond, move on.

 

[cordoncordon]

So cordon.. it looks like we agree on the solution here i don't know why you're being so argumentative lol and besides you didn't recommend to the OP that he wait a few days before calling her - and this is the most important part of the strategy of trying to win her back.

Not being argumentative. Just having a hard time understanding what you are getting at when you say it's not the friends that are the problem, but more his reputation.

How do you think the girl got this idea of his reputation?

His friends.

So his friends are/were the problem. They talked about OP, made him seem like a player, and now she has lost IL in OP as a result. I don't blame her.

In your first post you didn't mention this at all. You said it was just what girls do (losing interest) To quote you "it always happens after you f*ck them. It's what they do. Most of them are emotionally/mentally/psychologically unstable, and just when everything seems to be perfect they'll pull stuff like this on you. They also ALWAYS have about a million "better" options being literally thrown at them every day.You didn't talk about friends or rep being an issue until after I brought it up. Again not trying to argue, I just for the life of me cannot see what you are trying to say.

I really disagree with the part where you say this. "it always happens after you f*ck them." Either you aren't fawking your girls right, or you have a small penor, or something. Because with 99% of the girls I have fawked over the years, after that first time? They want it again and again and again. Not trying to brag as this should be the case for every guy. Girls are emotional, and once you establish that emotional and spiritual bond with them that only good sex can bring? They are putty in your hands. Or at least they should be.

 

[cordoncordon]

Every guy on this website knows what it's like to lose a girl bc she has suddenly lost interest, and this can happen for a number of different reasons. Your last comment started off by saying you didn't want to argue, and then you spent the next 2 paragraphs arguing lol

Look cordon, you have a well deserved reputation on this site for being dishonourable and starting arguments with everybody, so I won't let you suck me in too. All I did was point out that your advice was on the right track, but that you were MISSING ONE VERY IMPORTANT ELEMENT: THAT OF THE OP WAITING A FEW DAYS SO THE GIRL CAN MISS HIM AND FORGET THE BAD STUFF AND REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES.

And cordon, you stated that you "fawk" these girls great but that seems to be contradicted by this quote of yours:

You always have to go personal don't you? You can't have a debate without bringing out the mudslinging. I swear you are a girl at times.

Anyway. As to my statement. You can fawk a million girls, but that doesn't mean you are going to be truly happy. And just because you fawk a girl doesn't mean you are going to be totally into them afterwards. Lots of men have sex just to have sex, I know I have. Didn't mean I wanted them as my wife. That is something a girl should be after sex....totally into you. Obviously it doesn't happen all the time, but it should be the majority. If not? Then you are doing something wrong. What the guys wants to do with the girl after sex and from then on is up to him.

 

[cordoncordon]

Look cordon, I’m not sure what I said to upset you so much but you complain that I can’t carry on a debate without mudslinging, and then you proceed to call me names. This just isn’t very mature of you, and we both know you’re better than that. All I did was respond to your accusation with a similar one.

You and I are both obviously smart good looking guys who have a lot of experience dealing with hot women. Me and you aren’t all that different, we just have very strong personalities. Now let’s put the few differences that we do have aside and join forces for a greater good.. that of helping this young man bang this hot chick again!

So are we both in agreement about how he should proceed if he still wants to try and win her back?

I don't think I have ever called you a name? Can you please give me an example? I have disagreed with you on some things in regards to topics, but I have even called the girls you have dated for the most part pretty attractive. I don't think I have ever taken it personal with you.

I do know you have called me a douche many times, among other derogatory things.

But anyway, no biggie. Just move on and try and help give out decent advice on the forums and all is well. And as far as the OP here, I agree.

 

[SolidGold]

People, I'm the author of this post and I don't want to see you guys fight here ahahah

Back on topic. Yes, my general idea was to turn silence for a few days and just let things happen. I trully believe that she has feelings for me. So I just better let her put her ideas in place and then go talk to her (if she doesn't speak first)