Wants to be just friends. What should I say?

[daddymonsterpoodle]

I read it....sorry a) **** you again

 

[gonewiththefire]

I've known this chick for almost two months. We have seen each other sporadically (she is at school). We had sex a few weeks ago (last time I saw her) and she usually texts me everyday.

She just said she wants to be just friends. To which I responded: "I'm not saying I want a relationship but I honestly have no interest in being just friends, either." Then she said: "Ok. I'd feel more comfortable if we were friends rather than what we are now." (she previously said she didn't want a relationship, so i don't know why we are now). To that, I just said "ok" and she said "Ok so you're cool with it?"

I haven't responded. My plan is to respond then just ignore her and see if she misses me. I wouldn't mind being her friend with benefits. If not, then let it go.

How would you guys play this? My friends advise me to just say "ok" again.

As many other guys here mentioned but I also think she's afraid to lose you as a friend (texting each other every day), so she comes up with the friend thing.

I've had many times better "outcomes" with women by being honest, something like:
"Hi Michelle, how are you doing? Hey you know, I value our friendship a lot and I care about you. You are also a sexy girl and I'm definitely attracted to you - so can you please stop doing this to me? (with a smile)"

It should be fun!

This article might help you next time to not fall in the "friend" category, if you don't want to be there:
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/jj/friends.htm

hope it helps!

gonewiththefire

 

[Tictac]

I also think she's afraid to lose you as a friend (texting each other every day), so she comes up with the friend thing.

What is it that the guy in this situation 'loses'? Not much. A friendship that isn't a friendship.

"Hey you know, I value our friendship a lot and I care about you. You are also a sexy girl and I'm definitely attracted to you - so can you please stop doing this to me? (with a smile)"

This is the way to go.

 

[casanova_goat]

What do you guys make of this?

I visited this chick yesterday and we wound up having sex. Third time since she's "friendzoned" me. After I delivered what I figured to be my best "performance" thus far with her (which isn't saying much), as she lay alongside me, she popped this question:

"Do you consider yourself alpha or beta?"

I was a little thrown off by the question and wondered if it were a referendum of my sexual prowess or lack thereof. I knew women subconsciously crave alpha males but I didn't take think they openly acknowledged the difference. For a moment, I grew concerned she was following this thread. I jokingly said, "they need a Greek letter before alpha to describe what I am."

One cursory glance at this thread and it is clear I proudly wear the beta badge. Well, I have some alpha characteristics but I won't be confused for Sean Connery or Neil Armstrong or someone anytime soon. It will be interesting, if she thinks I am alpha, how long I can keep this charade going.

She went on to say how she doesn't like beta guys. I was like, "does any woman?" She claimed some do. I have my doubts.

 

[marmel75]

Pay attention to actions not words...she is fvcking you and that's all that counts

 

[casanova_goat]

Pay attention to actions not words...she is fvcking you and that's all that counts

That is true. Back when she friendzoned me a few months ago, she said she never had romantic feelings for me on dates and stuff yet acted as if she did.

By the way, I downloaded a few of those "enlightening" videos you told me about. Good stuff. However, I still haven't been able to make her ride the o-train, nor has anyone ever according to her. She says her body does not work and is convinced she won't ever have one. I reassure she is still young (21) and will have one eventually. I think her problem is rooted in her aversion to servicing herself.

 

[marmel75]

That is true. Back when she friendzoned me a few months ago, she said she never had romantic feelings for me on dates and stuff yet acted as if she did.

By the way, I downloaded a few of those "enlightening" videos you told me about. Good stuff. However, I still haven't been able to make her ride the o-train, nor has anyone ever according to her. She says her body does not work and is convinced she won't ever have one. I reassure she is still young (21) and will have one eventually. I think her problem is rooted in her aversion to servicing herself.

Work on your fingering with her...if you do it right you should be able to get her to squirt within 5-10 minutes. Just gotta know the spot you are looking for and then keep hitting it over and over

 

[casanova_goat]

Work on your fingering with her...if you do it right you should be able to get her to squirt within 5-10 minutes. Just gotta know the spot you are looking for and then keep hitting it over and over

Yeah I've been doing quite a bit of fingering. Last time, it looked like she was on the verge. She also refuses me when I try to go down yonder.

 

[casanova_goat]

Here’s a little update. At one point, this thread will end, I promise.

I have now smashed this chick several times since she “friendzoned” me. She had said we were “seeing each other” the last few times, but I was unsure what it was. Last night, she broached the subject by turning the question to me, “what do you think we are?” She basically said “open relationship” but, in the context, it sounded more like she was not interested enough in me to become exclusive, rather than lay out the terms of us seeing other people. An “open relationship” is just a glorified way of say “friends with benefits” and “friends with benefits” is a euphemism for “fvck buddies.”

I asked her, “so you wouldn’t be jealous if you saw me with another woman?” She said “well maybe if she was hotter than me.” I know for a fact she would be, as she has inquired about a chick I was dating not too long and wanted to see picture of her. I gladly showed her one on my phone and the look that came across her face was severe.

She is way too complacent with me. We saw each other all three days she was here and she spoke of her regret for not seeing her friends. If I gave me affection for her to another chick and she knew it, she *may* try to lock me down. If I walked out of her life, she would probably pine for the way I treated her. However, whatever spike in interest may be entirely "transient".

To be honest, I am content with the current situation. My interest in her has waned. I still like her but the special feeling — the infatuation, if you will — I possessed in February and March seems to be gone. She isn’t as aware of this, it seems.

 

[Ryan]

Thanks all for the responses.

Here's a little update if you guys are curious, though this has been a dead situation for sometime.

This chick reached out to me this morning, we hadn't spoken since last weekend. She sent me a link to a funny video. I took her sending me the video as her wanting to hang out since I knew this to be the first day of her Spring Break (meaning she was back in town). However, we chatted a bit today and she wouldn't say she was back in town. I told her I was going to my favorite coffeeshop to do some work and jokingly asked her if her plan was to drive up to hang out there.

Well, a little while later, she admitted to being home but was hanging out with a friend. While awaiting for my beverage in the aforementioned coffeeshop, she and her ex walked in and she ran up to me to say hello. She declined my embrace. Perhaps I didn't play it as cooly as I would have liked since their entering the place was so sudden and I had never seen her and her ex together, nor have I seen her in over a month. I went to sit down on a couch and her ex took his sweet time fixing his drink, like squeezing honey as methodically as possible. He seemed to grin at me, while the chick hid behind a pole. At one point, I saw her motion with her hand to hurry up.

I really wanted to wipe the grin off that guy's face with my fist. I didn't think she knew I knew that was her ex. It would have been a real **** move if I approached the ex and put out my hand, "Mike, Rachel has told me so much about you, however, you don't strike me as unmotivated as Rachel told me you were."

It's a dead situation but I thought I'd relay the anecdote. I have a date with another chick tonight, whom I randomly ran into on St Patty's Day and we later went out for a drink. Unfortunately, I don't feel the sparks for this one quite like subject of this thread. In the future, anytime a chick mentions her ex is still in the picture, I will run.

Just curious, how did you know that was her ex?

@casanova_goat

 

[casanova_goat]

Social media. There were old pictures of him and her together.

 

[VladPatton]

I've known this chick for almost two months. We have seen each other sporadically (she is at school). We had sex a few weeks ago (last time I saw her) and she usually texts me everyday.

She just said she wants to be just friends. To which I responded: "I'm not saying I want a relationship but I honestly have no interest in being just friends, either." Then she said: "Ok. I'd feel more comfortable if we were friends rather than what we are now." (she previously said she didn't want a relationship, so i don't know why we are now). To that, I just said "ok" and she said "Ok so you're cool with it?"

I haven't responded. My plan is to respond then just ignore her and see if she misses me. I wouldn't mind being her friend with benefits. If not, then let it go.

How would you guys play this? My friends advise me to just say "ok" again.

Good game plan, just stick to it now. She's looking for other options. Let her hit you up on her own. If she cares, she will, if she's riding the cawk carousel, she'll be busy swallowing meat swords. See what happens.