I'm fairly new and a RAFC, so take it easy on me, please.
...no, really. Take it easy on me, because I am
well aware of just how bad this utterly ****ty AFCness is.
Cut to me, suffering severe one-itis for a friend of mine. Not just a friend, but a friend I share a house with along with two others (yeah, I know, dangerous enough already). Over the two years that this one-itis takes root I do all the typical AFC things: emotional tampon-ness, buying gifts that I knew she would love (as opposed to doing what everyone else did for birthdays etc like buying beer), tied in with some of the most needy and clingy behaviour you've ever seen.
And somehow, miraculously, I start to get positive signs.
Looking back now, I can't possibly understand how it happened. I was doing everything
wrong for God's sake.
I wouldn't have wanted me!
But one day we go out drinking with a group of mutual friends
while our other housemates are away abroad. We both get very drunk, say goodbye to our friends and come home together as per usual.
I'm very drunk. She's very, very, very drunk. She starts throwing up in the bathroom and, chump that I am, I'm there holding her hair back for her.
After about half an hour of this she stops throwing up, cleans herself up, and sits down very heavily on the bathroom floor looking much the worse for wear. I sit beside her and, lo and behold, suddenly we're making out (she initiated, not me).
Making out turns into dry humping on the floor of the bathroom, turns into heading downstairs (I needed a ****ing glass of water, I hadn't had a hydrating drink in about six hours), turns into climbing into bed together and sleeping together.
No. I mean literally
sleeping together.
Because she was so drunk and out of her head, I told her that I thought it was a good idea for us not to do anything and see how she felt in the morning. So we slept naked in the same bed and
did nothing.
It's bad, isn't it?
Well, it gets even worse.
In the morning she LJBFed me immediately, which pretty much broke my heart (though given the events of the night, I can't blame her). Cue a month and a half of soul-rending self-recrimination and bitterness.
And then we go out with more mutual friends and our two housemates, get mildly (nowhere near as bad as before) drunk, come home, our housemates go to bed...and she hides in my bed 'to try and scare me'.
I walk in, she jumps out and says "Boo!"...then jumps back in again and pulls me in after her.
And this time...I
tell her that nothing's going to happen because it's obvious she only wants to be friends.
Needless to say, after that night that
was all she wanted.
...and then I found this place.
I am now working very, very hard to annihilate whatever part of my brain it was that made me act that way twice.
Be gentle with me. I am a sick person.
