PrinceBeavis said:
Don't mean to hijack Westwind's thread, but when it comes down to it, this is so me as well. It's to the point where I'll isolate myself just to stop myself from neediness, obsession and f#*king up a perfectly good situation.
I think Interceptor's response really hits the nail on the head. I would say the only thing missing, would be a strong male presence in early life.
Myself, I've learned the hard way, ...neediness/obsession must be recognized the moment it springs up, and you must wrestle it down as if your life depends on it. You must be absolutely unmerciful to neediness. Squash it. I go out running where there's no one around, and I chew myself out as much as I have to to get some common sense back in my life. It seems to really and truly work.
The spinning of plates, the concentration on goals....ALL the positive stuff Interceptor listed...it's VITAL, but that neediness/obsession just crowds it all
out, and drives you batty, and drives you into screwing up your relations.
Only when SELF CONTROL is restored, can you focus on the other things, and thus rise above it....at least that's me.
Prince,
hey man, good post. Very self reflective and
honest.
That takes courage.
Self control is built from self esteem.
You gain
stronger Self Control the stronger your
Personal Boundary is.
BUT.......
Self
Control cannot save you if you
do not have Self Love.
Concentrate in loving yourself, accepting yourself, not being harsh and overly judgemental of yourself, accept yourself, and forgive yourself.
be kind to yourself.
From your post, you are certainly NOT doing that.
You are clearly lacking Self Love, that's why your Self Control/Discipline is taking so much out of you.
There's still too much resitance in you,. and not enough love.
Self Control can be built to the point that it never leaves you. It may wax and wane a little, but if you have the underlying reosurces together, stays strong.
You want to get to that point, Prince.
Self Control is about maintainng the drive, commitment, and dedication to YOUR HAPPINESS. To making sure you reach your Goals. To be sure you are Respecting yourself. To be sure you are not being taken advantage of. TO be sure you are living up to your maximum potential.