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Want to call or talk but not seem afc

don_juan_20

Don Juan
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Any of you ever just wish you could call a girl whenever you want to talk and not have to worry about the playing the uninterested game?

This sucks. I miss her already. :(
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
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The "uninterested game"? The idea behind not calling isn't to appear "uninterested." If she interpreted it as genuine disinterest, then she would most likely move on.

The idea behind not calling a girl all the time is to let her know that you have an active, fun life (one that she will want to be a part of) and that you don't need her to pay attention to you 24/7 (you're quite comfortable with your life and don't need her constant attention or approval to feel good about yourself).

This way, you make her pursue you to find out what's so special about your life that it requires more attention than her.

If you give her too much attention, then she thinks that you don't have anything better to do. Women don't need parasites or groupies. They need people who have good times and good feelings they can afford to share. They need men who can take an active role in planning the direction of their lives.

If you WANT to call, then call.

If you're calling just because you feel lonely, or depressed, or needy, or feel like you need her to tell you what you should do in a situation, or need her approval on something, or can't have fun without her, then DON'T call. This is indicative of a problem in your life and, no matter how hard you both try, she cannot fill this void for you, and it's not fair (nor is it healthy) for you to put that responsibility on her. A Don Juan is capable of fixing his own problems.

Sure, we all feel lonely at times, we all feel depressed, we have times when we're not at our "DJ-est". It's part of being human. And sometimes we just want to run to the ones we care about and seek comfort from them. But that's not attractive, nor will it ever be. And it's certainly not sexual or masculine.

As long as you continue to put effort into achieving what you want, working toward what you believe in, and learning from/fixing your mistakes, even the darkest times will pass, and you'll feel alive again and full of energy, and when you call your girl it won't be, "I'm lonely, I miss you, please come make me feel better", it will be, "I am looking forward to enjoying my life and I want you to share in that enjoyment to make it even better!"

If you were a woman, which would YOU want to hear?

"I'm sad, I need you to be happy again"

OR

"I want to enjoy life, and I could enjoy the experiences in my life even more if I experienced them with you."

Think about it. Then make your decision. :)
 

don_juan_20

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Thank you for helping me realize the difference between dj'ish and just pushing a girl away.
 
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