Want to Ask Her Out - Don't Wait

[logicallefty]

I moved to a new State in June. Met so many great people so fast. Have been chatting with a woman at work since day one. My work closes at 5pm but after 4:30pm each day people slack off big time from 4:30-5pm. Even the big boss slacks off and it's totally fine if you have your work done. Almost everyday at 4:30pm I would chat with the woman who's desk is right by mine. We were also talking on FB but had not yet exchanged numbers. She taught me a lot about the history of where we work, and the city. She is even a former cop like myself so we had that in common also to talk about. We had discussed going out so she could show me some cool places in town. I really don't know if I would have called it a date or just two coworkers hanging out. First thing this morning, big boss calls us all in to let us know that she was killed in an accident over the weekend. She was 40.

This is the first time such a scenario has happened to me with someone I MIGHT have gone out with.

My point: As with parents, children, and family, apply the same to women you want to ask out. Don't wait, because you just never know when they may be gone from your life.

 

[sangheilios]

You know what would be interesting. Let's say you didn't meet at work, so you have no clue as to what is going on.

Let's say you are going to meet up with a woman and you are sitting there waiting and waiting. You get annoyed and angry, assuming you got flaked on, and head home in defeat lol. You assumed she flaked on you but in reality she ended up dying lol, hell maybe it was when she was driving on her way to the date and she got T boned by some drunk guy on a major intersection lol.

Interesting story though.

 

[zekko]

You know what would be interesting. Let's say you didn't meet at work, so you have no clue as to what is going on.

Let's say you are going to meet up with a woman and you are sitting there waiting and waiting. You get annoyed and angry, assuming you got flaked on, and head home in defeat lol. You assumed she flaked on you but in reality she ended up dying lol, hell maybe it was when she was driving on her way to the date and she got T boned by some drunk guy on a major intersection lol.

This isn't at all the same thing, but I had started an email correspondence with a cousin of mine in a different state, that I had never met. She had been working on the family genealogy, and we talked back and forth a lot. Suddenly, she stopped responding to my emails, and I was a little miffed honestly, I just figured she was tired of talking to me. Which seemed odd to me, because she seemed to enjoy the correspondence. Then a bit later, I found out she had died of cancer. She had never mentioned she had any health problems, but I definitely felt stupid.

 

[SW15]

This is more applicable in daygame and weak social circle game type situations.

Most people who go to bars know to ask her out in the first interaction. At bars, the same night sex might be the biggest priority, but date arranging makes more sense if you go to bars earlier in the night, such as during weekday happy hour type time frames.

If you're approaching at the grocery store or the mall, there's almost no chance of a repeat interaction, so there's a need to arrange the date and collect the number in the first interaction.

If you're approaching at a gym/fitness class, you never know when the woman will end her membership/change gyms. So it is good to arrange the date and collect her number in the first interaction.

If she's playing in the same co-ed sports league as you, it is best to arrange a date/collect her number in the first interaction. She could quit the league mid-season or suffer an injury that ends her season.

If you see her at a park or on a path, it is unlikely you'll ever see her again at the park or on a path. Arrange a date and collect her number when you see her.

There are other examples.

 

[sangheilios]

Sorry to hear that, my condolences.


Someone posts about a coworker he may have wanted to date died last weekend and this is how you respond?
I know you are autistic (really 'lol'?), but your insensitivity is truly retarded.

Stfu you ***** lol. He barely even knows this woman, if a man gets into a funk or is legitimately depressed over someone like this something is wrong. He also liked my damn post you little troll.

 

[sangheilios]

This isn't at all the same thing, but I had started an email correspondence with a cousin of mine in a different state, that I had never met. She had been working on the family genealogy, and we talked back and forth a lot. Suddenly, she stopped responding to my emails, and I was a little miffed honestly, I just figured she was tired of talking to me. Which seemed odd to me, because she seemed to enjoy the correspondence. Then a bit later, I found out she had died of cancer. She had never mentioned she had any health problems, but I definitely felt stupid.

I thought you were going to say she found out you were both related lol.

 

[zekko]

I thought you were going to say she found out you were both related lol.

Of course she knew we were related, we talked a lot about the family genealogy. It wasn't a romantic thing.

 

[sangheilios]

Of course she knew we were related, we talked a lot about the family genealogy. It wasn't a romantic thing.

I missed the part where you mentioned she was a cousin.

 

[sangheilios]

@AmsterdamAssassin You have really bad reading comprehension skills, you've missed the points of all of these topics on these threads.

 

[manfrombelow]

Someone posts about a coworker he may have wanted to date died last weekend and this is how you respond?
I know you are autistic (really 'lol'?), but your insensitivity is truly retarded.

100% agree.

And "retarded" is the perfect choice of word here.

Such guys are insensitive, mentally handicapped, and often act like dorks, and then go online crying about why this and that woman refused to fvck them.

 

[sangheilios]

@AmsterdamAssassin Bro, stop ****ing following me around on this forum. I've literally done nothing to you except call you out on the fact you have poor reading comprehension and for having no clue of what is being discussed, such as with my attention ***** thread lol.

Stupid comments like "I don't go to gyms because they are filled with vain people", which shows you had 0 experience approaching in that environment nor having never even seen gym thot behavior first hand lol.

As for the topic of this thread, @logicallefty wasn't writing a damn obituary or acting sorrowful with this post.......yet you feel the need to start throwing insults at me because you don't grasp my sense of humor and the theoretical story of a flake actually being a death or some crazy life event lol.

Seriously, stop replying to my posts and my threads, you add absolutely nothing of value to them.

 

[sangheilios]

100% agree.

And "retarded" is the perfect choice of word here.

Such guys are insensitive, mentally handicapped, and often act like dorks, and then go online crying about why this and that woman refused to fvck them.

Bro, stop encouraging that troll. He literally followed me over from a thread I made about an experience I had with an attention ***** and he had/has literally no grasp of what that behavior entails. I then mentioned that he didn't have a clue as to what he was talking about and then he started following me around.

I've made a lot of really solid threads on this forum that some guys can probably learn from, at least hopefully so.

 

[sangheilios]

@AmsterdamAssassin

Yo, I just told you to stop replying to my threads and posts. I literally have you on my ignore list now, why are you continuing to reply to me?

 

[manfrombelow]

My point: As with parents, children, and family, apply the same to women you want to ask out. Don't wait, because you just never know when they may be gone from your life.

Thank you for such an important life lesson.

 

[logicallefty]

@AmsterdamAssassin @sangheilios I appreciate you guys participating in my thread, but please stop the bickering. No reason for that.

 

[SW15]

You know what would be interesting. Let's say you didn't meet at work, so you have no clue as to what is going on.

Let's say you are going to meet up with a woman and you are sitting there waiting and waiting. You get annoyed and angry, assuming you got flaked on, and head home in defeat lol. You assumed she flaked on you but in reality she ended up dying lol, hell maybe it was when she was driving on her way to the date and she got T boned by some drunk guy on a major intersection lol.

Interesting story though.

You're not the first person to ever have this thought.

This was the plot line of a 2000 episode of Sex and the City. One of the Sex and the City females gets stood up for a first date because the guy died earlier in the day of their first date.

 

[logicallefty]

You know what would be interesting. Let's say you didn't meet at work, so you have no clue as to what is going on.

Let's say you are going to meet up with a woman and you are sitting there waiting and waiting. You get annoyed and angry, assuming you got flaked on, and head home in defeat lol. You assumed she flaked on you but in reality she ended up dying lol, hell maybe it was when she was driving on her way to the date and she got T boned by some drunk guy on a major intersection lol.

Interesting story though.

I think I understand your point here. That we should wait and verify facts before getting upset with people when they don't show up to things or don't do certain things we are expecting of them. Is that right?

About 3 years ago I bread my male German Shepheard with a female German Shepherd that belonged to a friend. As the owner of the female, my friend was responsible for selling the puppies after I got "pick of the liter". A guy was on his way to my buddy's house in Illinois from Pennsylvania to buy one of the puppies. The guy didn't show. Found out he got killed in a really bad car accident in Indiana on his way to Illinois. It was very sad. My friend ended up keeping the dog for himself.

 

[Dr.Suave]

D@mn. Gotta enjoy bustin a nut like its the last nut you ever gonna bust cuase it may really be the last one.

 

[sangheilios]

I think I understand your point here. That we should wait and verify facts before getting upset with people when they don't show up to things or don't do certain things we are expecting of them. Is that right?

About 3 years ago I bread my male German Shepheard with a female German Shepherd that belonged to a friend. As the owner of the female, my friend was responsible for selling the puppies after I got "pick of the liter". A guy was on his way to my buddy's house in Illinois from Pennsylvania to buy one of the puppies. The guy didn't show. Found out he got killed in a really bad car accident in Indiana on his way to Illinois. It was very sad. My friend ended up keeping the dog for himself.

Let me elaborate a bit on what I was getting at.

I've seen tons of threads on this forum from men complaining about getting flaked on, stood up on a date, ghosted, etc. You'll then see other posters on the thread try to dissect the interaction leading up to the scheduled date. Then they'll start doing a deep FBI level analysis and say you were texting too much, you weren't texting enough, you didn't lead properly, etc. These people, including the poster that was stood up, will immediately jump to some strange conclusions or come up with some intricate details to explain why this occurred. However, they don't consider that maybe something legitimately happened on her end. Maybe her dog got ran over by a car, maybe she got in a car accident, maybe she her grandmother is sick in the hospital or maybe died? Maybe her friend broke up from her gf and went over to her place to vent, maybe, maybe, maybe.

The reality is that IF you were flaked on or ghosted you almost always can assume that at that given moment of time she is NOT available. At the end of the day, when you are in the early phases of the dating period you really aren't that high on her list of priorities. In fact, a lot of men seem to forget that you are barely past the stranger phase, though this is not the case with your specific story.

 

[BeExcellent]

Sorry for your loss @logicallefty and yours as well @zekko. Life is short and none of us know how much time remains in our hourglass.

On this past Monday one of my biggest player buddies got married to a great gal I introduced him to almost 5 years ago. He texted photos of the wedding to me and his best friend, a man who attended my wedding 6 weeks ago…..I immediately sent congratulations to the newlyweds but crickets from our other friend, which struck me as unusual.

Yesterday morning I got word that our friend had died after a brief illness this past weekend. He was already gone when my buddy & new wife made their wedding announcement and the last I saw him was at my own nuptials. He was 61.

Life is short and nothing is promised. Shoot your shot, tell people when you love them & care about them. Be a good friend & love yourself and others. Nobody gets out alive. Live while you have life and don’t hold back.

Cheers & Condolences