Want Advice on Handling Girls that Touch You Too Much in Public

[Mister Big]

This might not seem like a problem to many, but I need some advice.

When I am out with one of the girls I date, sometimes they get out of control. After I apply my standard kino and feed them a few drinks, they want to kiss me to death at the bar or start to grab my goods. Sometimes its subtle, but sometimes its vulgar "call the cops" stuff that borders or crosses the line of offensive. But even heavy long term kissing and kino from a girl applies here. I like it when the girl gets super hot, but I don't want the entire crowd at the bar (some who are potential girls for me to close later) to think I hang out with only slutty HBs.

It's flattering but annoying at the same time, especially if its early in the night at a local joint that I frequent. Why do girls do this? Insecurity, attention, or maybe the DJ bible stuff is working too well. Who cares? I need advice.

How do you calm them down without humiliating them? Are there approaches to controlling them in public and still keeping them sexed up for later in the night when we find a more private location?

 

[johnnyrem]

I call BS on this post.

If a woman really does this in public she's so slutty you don't want her. Grabbing your package in public? With many women? If this happens regularly you're dating *****s.

Nice make believe story. Are you practicing for the porn forums? Now get some real women, not imaginary ones. Posting something like this for your second post pretty much confirms BS.

Go away.

 

[Mister Big]

Hey,

Chill for a second. This does happen just maybe not to you. Who hasn't seen some girl plastered all over some dude she's just met at any bar on any weekend night. I've been on this site for a few months, but I am not new to the DJ approach and lifestyle. I would appreciate a little patience.

All women show hor tendencies when they they get comfortable with men that seem like LTR material and who do all the right things. Now all girls aren't extreme, but the question was what to do if they cross the line of good taste in public. If the girl is a 8.0-9.5, I don't think you trade in the cadillac because it has a dent on the fender. Women can be just as aggressive or even more than men. That's my experience which goes beyond my limited posts to this site.

Sorry if this is not the typical AFC shaking in my boots stuff that is mostly common sense anyway. If I saw this posted, I would check it out and reply as it does apply and is not an imaginary scenario. If you don't believe it, be Bobby Brown then. That's your perogative. Check out the number of views of the post that prove other DJs are interested.

I would like to make friends not nasties here.

 

[Maurizio 2.0]

Hahaha -- I like the way you speak... very diplomatically.

Anyway, I believe you man -- I've had similar experience with my current GF all the time... in fact it just happened a few minutes ago. She doesn't drink much, and so I usually get this sort of behavior when she's totally sober -- not with drunk girls at the bar.

So I was walking her to a study session she had to go to with my arm around her waist... kinda on her butt. She kept brushing her arm across the front of me and my package. I started getting a mild chub (...I can't help it) which was showing major time through my sweats. She leaned in and said with a sexy tone: "I just want to take your pants off right now for everyone to see." Of course, this didn't make me get any softer. It got to a point where I didn't want others to see the front of me, so I spun her around and hugged her tight, pushing my d!ck at her pelvis until I went back down again.

I know stuff like this sounds great to many people here, but the truth is, it's difficult to deal with at times. Most men are less keen on PDA than women are. If you tell a woman, however, that you don't want her to touch you like that (or even subtly make her sense that her advances are not appreciated) you run the risk of discouraging her from making those advances even when you want them. I pushed her away when she tried to go down on me once, and she got the idea that I didn't like it when she went down on me (which is crap of course) and she stopped doing it for like two weeks. These can definately be delicate situations.

The truth is this: It can be frustrating when a woman wants you when you can't have her, and then she wants you less when the time is appropriate. But generally speaking, the desire of a woman to have sex with you is directly correlated to how sexy you're making her feel. I don't know what kind of convo or kino you're putting on your women to make them want to fondle you at the bar, but you might be too sexual with what you're saying, or simply doing too good of a job.

You cite the possiblity that women might be doing this for reasons of insecurity -- I think it's exactly the opposite, you're making them feel too secure. Wait to turn the dial up so high until you have some more privacy.

- Maurizio

 

[flexion_]

I guess if you were secure about yourself you wouldn't really care what other people think - thats what your concern is right?

Not sure about you folks but when this happens to me I'm in "zone" with the girl anyway and could care less about the rest of the world. Sorry but if a girl is giving you an erection its pretty hard to be scoping out other woman at the same time anyway.

I suppose if you want to fix the "problem" then go shag her in the parking lot or where-ever and then head back to bar the scope other chicks.

 

[Mister Big]

Good advice

Thanks for the input. I agree with both of Maurizio 2.0 and flexion_'s advice.

I think I am making them feel too secure. I always get the "you make me feel so comfortable" line when I hang in public and they start to touch. I thought this line was just their way of rationalizing why they were doing me too soon. I should be more hot and cold with my kino and sexual language so they are on the edge without getting pornographic. This seems cruel or crazy if you are in the "zone", but if the end result is they get just as hot and protect my reputation then it solves both our problems.

I never scope out other woman at the same time but I am worried that when I return to the bar/club another day to hit on other girls they will remember the HB scene from the week before and think very negatively of me. I need to take these girls to the dive bar that noone ever goes.

I admit I am insecure about vulgar PDA in certain places. However, I truly believe that many women have a fetish for voyeurism, even the shy sweet girls (johnnyrem please pay attention). For example, most women, not just wh**es, love the idea of skinny dipping. Several girls have told me they would love to get it on in a crowded bar or club right out in the open. This phenomenom is real.

Here's my goal: I am going to scope out a remote spot in an out of the way place to get over my insecurity. I have a real opportunity to get into some kinky sH*t that I might learn to appreciate more with the right girl. Right now I have a few options so the time is right. Sounds good to me as long as noone's videotaping. LOL.

I'll post here with the results of my public "experiment."

 

[spider_007]

If she is like that in public, she must be a knock out in bed. he he he. knock some sence into her

 

[duttylove]

this has happend to me with a few girls that are comfortable with there sexual desires. i personally enjoy it if im out alone with her, if im with my boys or other friends i just tell her to calm down or take her into the toilets if shes got me horny enough. one of my ex girlfriends got me kicked out of a club for that behaviour im just thankfull i did not get my azz kicked by the bouncer.

 

[Mister Big]

Its weird. Most of the girls that get physical in public are not the wildest ones in bed, but they are not bad either. It's as if the thrill of being watched or caught motivates them sexually, but I am planning to push it further.

I intend to discuss and explore their fantasies more than usual as these girls are not shy about letting you know what turns them on.

 

[Kaine]

Your comment is fair, you can take control of the situation by been ****y and funny about it. Or teasing her back seductively. I.e. grab her hand if she is going for your package and whisper in her ear "tsk tsk bad girl, you didn't ask now. Now you'll have to wait". Then give her a good fu.cking afterwards after the club. You can turn this back into teasing and suspense.

You should lead able to lead her. Obviously you only have an issue with this one girl, she seems she is one of those which fit outside the normal deviation.

You know what the norm is, you know your threshold so you take it where you want it to go (smoothly)


Kaine

 

[Reed247]

advice

Why don't you grab her arm the next time she touches you in public and squeeze it really hard, twist it a little. Give her a fiery look in the eyes and say "Keep you fvcking hands to yourself *****". If she attempts to kiss you, smash your head into hers.

-Work every time

 

[PRMoon]

If you're only dating hot slutty HB's then there's no chance they won't be all over you when you go out in public. Sluts like to feel up on guys that they're out with, it's just in their nature. Doesn't really matter how they look (HB or not) they're going to feel on you, It's just what "slutty" girls do. Getting up set because they're doing something that's in their nature when they're out with you (and after having a few drinks I suppose) is stupid.

If you think you have other opporutniities with some other girls around whatever socil enviroment you're with touchy feely girls then and you're dissapointed with the results you're getting while gameing there's one simple solution. Don't bring the sluts out with you when you want to get some responses from other girls.

I mean I've gone out with girls who were feeling me up but the other girls I was hitting on were also sluts(that'sa vegas bar for ya.) If you want to continue dating in slut circles, just go to a place where you know sluts run a plenty, and try your luck that way. Sluts won't be to conceiled with their idea's at night, so there won't be any guess work for you think over, they'll give you the signals.

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by PRMoon
If you're only dating hot slutty HB's then there's no chance they won't be all over you when you go out in public. Sluts like to feel up on guys that they're out with, it's just in their nature. Doesn't really matter how they look (HB or not) they're going to feel on you, It's just what "slutty" girls do. Getting up set because they're doing something that's in their nature when they're out with you (and after having a few drinks I suppose) is stupid.

If you think you have other opporutniities with some other girls around whatever socil enviroment you're with touchy feely girls then and you're dissapointed with the results you're getting while gameing there's one simple solution. Don't bring the sluts out with you when you want to get some responses from other girls.

I think you are partially right about "sluts" being part of the problem. I am older, so let me throw this out there.

Aren't all women capable of being sluts once they've past a certain stage?

Like when they've gotten older and been through a few LTRs that didn't work out. When these non-slutty girls meet a cool guy who shows them a great time, sometimes things can happen that never happen with the tons of AFCs they toy with.

This one girl I'm seeing now is an 8.0 who is 36 yo, 5'10", 130# and hasn't had sex in 2.5 yrs until recently with me. I wouldn't classify her as a HB or a slut. She was totally into me the first night and started to touch too much after a few dates. I find that the older women get, the more their "slut" behavior becomes their norm as long as they meet LTR potential guys that know DJ skills. They just learn to rationalize their behavior by thinking you are the cats meow and could be the one.

Here's a mantra: "The DJ's mission is to release every women's inner slut that is begging to come out." I don't disrespect these women as most do have desires just as strong as the kinkiest DJ but they never get to show explore them. When they show their desires, they are super sexy to me. When they show it in public too much and affect my reputation, I get turned off.

I am very interested in responses about this from anyone.

 

[Kaine]

There's PDA and too much PDA.

Is her action subtle or blatant and public? Perhaps she is trying to mark her territory. Indirectly letting other women know that she is with you.

I prefer a "lady in the street and a freak in the bed", you know what I mean. There are just times when it's appropriate and sometime it's not. Nothing is more sexier then a lady who can be sexy and classy at the same time.

About the Djing thing. I don't like to use that term, but if you exhibit the qualities of an attractive man then she will get horny for you. I've noticed with girls I've been with you would never think judging from their appearance or personality they would get so freaky, but give them the chance to submit to you and bang.


Kaine

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Grab her back.

 

[the12thplanet]

HAHA oh man. the day that this becomes a problem for me i will be a very happy man.

 

[Mister Big]

Exploring this more

Originally posted by Kaine
There's PDA and too much PDA.

Is her action subtle or blatant and public? Perhaps she is trying to mark her territory. Indirectly letting other women know that she is with you.

I prefer a "lady in the street and a freak in the bed", you know what I mean. There are just times when it's appropriate and sometime it's not. Nothing is more sexier then a lady who can be sexy and classy at the same time.

Kaine

Kaine, I agree with your comment on their marking their territory. This seems accurate as their behavior is in public view usually of other women.

If a women has no inner freak to her, I usually lose or have no interest in a very short time. Bringing a classy girl out her shell is not half as much fun to me as being with a women that recognizes and explores her desires as long as she doesn't do this with every guy or in public at your usual spots. I am getting older so maybe I'm just lazier or don't date enough younger women. I am working on both of these. LOL.

That being said, is it possible that most women like to be watched or be in public while they express their sexuality?

Feminine sexual images that women or society convey or accept are very voyeuristic. Being watched, by you or others or both, is conditioned into women's pysches as gratifying. However, women aren't allowed to do this in the real world because society will label them as SlVts or hors. This is so hypocrytical. As long as the images placate the masses and sell products then its oK, but not in real life. That's B.S.

I think women can cross this barrier when comfortable with the right guy (suave DJ, LTR potential, etc) and she doesn't need to be a SLVt or hor. I think its worth exploring this subject with her in a subtle way at first and then more if she shows interest. You can say softly, "I can tell you like it when I touch you when we are out" or you can get touchy when dancing and continue this off the floor.

I think location is really the issue here not the SLVT factor. Many women just come right out and tell you its what they like. But how many men deliver the fantasy to the level they want. Very few.

For me, the "sexy and classy" woman is difficult to find without significant hangups and/or baggage and even harder to hold when you are dating other women. I am still looking for one who is easy to talk to, good in bed, and is hot enough so that its worth it. This is just my experience, but I'll keep trying.

 

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by Mister Big
I think you are partially right about "sluts" being part of the problem. I am older, so let me throw this out there.

Aren't all women capable of being sluts once they've past a certain stage?

Like when they've gotten older and been through a few LTRs that didn't work out. When these non-slutty girls meet a cool guy who shows them a great time, sometimes things can happen that never happen with the tons of AFCs they toy with.

This one girl I'm seeing now is an 8.0 who is 36 yo, 5'10", 130# and hasn't had sex in 2.5 yrs until recently with me. I wouldn't classify her as a HB or a slut. She was totally into me the first night and started to touch too much after a few dates. I find that the older women get, the more their "slut" behavior becomes their norm as long as they meet LTR potential guys that know DJ skills. They just learn to rationalize their behavior by thinking you are the cats meow and could be the one.

Here's a mantra: "The DJ's mission is to release every women's inner slut that is begging to come out." I don't disrespect these women as most do have desires just as strong as the kinkiest DJ but they never get to show explore them. When they show their desires, they are super sexy to me. When they show it in public too much and affect my reputation, I get turned off.

I am very interested in responses about this from anyone.

Hmmm I'm not in complete agreement with you here. I may not be as old as you but I've been around the blocks more times then I care to admit. Having a girl present "slut" behavior on you is an option that you don't have to live with. You just tell them in a polite way that they should save it for later (in private) or as them to tone it down a bit.

Of course every girl has an inner slut, there's tons of personaities that can be brought out of a person. A lot of guys have an inner thug, but you don't see them gang banging around the town because it's just inappropriate behavior. Despite having an inner slut every girl should also have a sense of presence and dignity and if her having a good time makes you very uncomfortable then they should pick up on that and act accordingly.

If you don't want ladies to act ultra slutty around you then you should tell them or next them, although it shouldn't be necessary, but in your case these might be the terms.

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by PRMoon
Hmmm I'm not in complete agreement with you here. I may not be as old as you but I've been around the blocks more times then I care to admit. Having a girl present "slut" behavior on you is an option that you don't have to live with. You just tell them in a polite way that they should save it for later (in private) or as them to tone it down a bit.

Of course every girl has an inner slut, there's tons of personaities that can be brought out of a person. A lot of guys have an inner thug, but you don't see them gang banging around the town because it's just inappropriate behavior. Despite having an inner slut every girl should also have a sense of presence and dignity and if her having a good time makes you very uncomfortable then they should pick up on that and act accordingly.

If you don't want ladies to act ultra slutty around you then you should tell them or next them, although it shouldn't be necessary, but in your case these might be the terms.

Good point. An excellent example of a woman who is not a slVt transforming is the movie "9 1/2 Weeks." Kim Basinger's inner slVt gets drawn out by a classic DJ (Mickey Rourke), although he was a little too creepy about it for my taste. I know its only a movie, but I am meeting women that want to go through the same process. Maybe this is a training film for seducing women in their 30's or just hits all the realistic fantasies that women possess. Of course, the ones I am tapping are not near as hot as Basinger. I hope to improve and push this scene with a 9.0+ HB as a major goal.

To get back to the point, I guess the location is really the key. If I am in a remote spot, I could use the situation to push her fantasy, a la 9 1/2 weeks. This goes back to my experiment. I don't mind a girl going nuts if we are in a place where it won't effect my game in the future. However, if we are at a regular hangout, I would take the advice above and control her. Let her know the "terms."

All the replies really helped me work out my strategy to this problem. Thanks.