Walking Away

MacAvoy

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Your missing the boat her, she doesn't want to fvck you, she just wants to play with you so she can get validated. Where has she ever hinted that she has wanted more. All the coming by your cubicle etc... has just been to get you interesting in playing the attention/kissing game so she can feel better about herself.

What your doing is transferring. Your transferring the drama that you miss from your marriage to this women. Instead of truly moving on with your life. Until you choose to make a difference in your life, I don't see what more I can offer in terms of help.
 

rea001

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She just tried to take my pants down in the stairwell to give me a BJ. I stopped her and told her not now. Then she got turned on and asked if I'd fvck her soon. So, I don't know...
 

rea001

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I also heard her say she loved me under her breath. She tried to hide it when I acted like I didn't hear it.
 

BigAL

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go slow

I think the strength you are showing by resisting her is attracting her to you, so...Keep feeding her crumbs, DO NOT act or talk emotionally, almost put on that hardened criminal vibe, this is what she wants...the real question is this how you want to be? but if you told her good bye then be a man and keep your word to YOURSELF.
 

tick37

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To be honest, now that we're talking again, I don't really feel the same way about her. She's extremely good looking, but I don't really like who she is as a person. My ego was getting the best of me, and I ignored all the red flags. She cheated on her boyfriend with me, and I feel sorry for the poor sap. If she could do that to him (a 4 year relationship), she would most certainly do much worse to me.

MacAvoy, I think you were right about transferring drama from my wife to her. The reason I think so is because I have been seeing two other girls that give me absolutely no grief and would do anything for me, but they don't give me drama. I have them, so I don't worry about them. I didn't have her, so I felt like I had to fight for her. By taking a months worth of a timeout, my feelings have changed.
 

tick37

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Well, I just burnt my bridges with her.
 

Quiksilver

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If you go back, it won't be on your terms.

Move on and accept that it will be hard, but in the long run will pay off.
 

tick37

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Well, MacAvoy, it's almost March, and I didn't get sucked back in. She hates me, too. The day I burnt my bridges with her, I basically told her to go fvck herself. I called back the next day and told her it was immature for me to swear at her, and I wished her and her boyfriend the best. I can tell she's really pissed at me even though we've resolved the issue. I haven't shown any attention towards her what so ever. Why? Because I don't want her. She's not good for me, and I think it pisses her off. I know that if I call her or say anything to her, I'll only be feeding her ego. I won't give her that satisfaction.

I've learned my lesson, and there a ton of girls out there.
 

tick37

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Well, since coming to this site, I've learned alot about what being a man is all about. I'm no longer needing anyone else to give me validation because I can give it to myself. I can know that I'm a great guy without someone feeding it to me. Because I've learned this, I've turned the whole situation with this chick around.

She's starting to chase me just like she did when we first started out. I don't supplicate or cling on for that validation I used to want so badly. About 1 month after I stopped talking to her, I saw her in the hall at work and asked why she wasn't talking to me. I gave her a little put down by saying in a sadistic tone that she must be mad at me. The very next morning she called my desk phone as soon as she got in. When I got in, I listened to the message, deleted it, and never called her back.

2 weeks later I saw her in the hallway again, and I said hello. I told her I was just thinking about her (because I just came out of one of the stairwells where we fvcked and made out lol). She asked if I was thinking about her because she's so awesome. I told her no, smirked, and walked off.

The very next morning I received a phone call from her and this time I answered. We talked for about 5 minutes. We just shot the sh1t. I called her back to ask about a stupid quote she put up on the office bulletin board. She answered despite being on hold with a vendor. I made the call extremely short and let her go. An hour later she walked into my office to chat. We joked around and she left. As soon as she got back to her desk, she called me again, and ignored the call.

What's going on here is that I'm not being needy, and to her I'm way more attractive. I don't expect anything from her. I could care less if I talk to her again because I've realized that all that pain and neediness I was going through with her the first time was in my head. I attached all of those thoughts and feelings to her. Yes, she's hot, but I have yet to see any other reason I should have ever felt the way I did. If she is actually wanting me again, she's going to have to work to get me. I'll feed her a crumb every now and then, but I won't ever give her the satisfaction that she's the "whole enchilada" in my world. That goes for any other woman.
 

SunnyD

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tick37 said:
To be honest, now that we're talking again, I don't really feel the same way about her. She's extremely good looking, but I don't really like who she is as a person. My ego was getting the best of me, and I ignored all the red flags. She cheated on her boyfriend with me, and I feel sorry for the poor sap. If she could do that to him (a 4 year relationship), she would most certainly do much worse to me.

MacAvoy, I think you were right about transferring drama from my wife to her. The reason I think so is because I have been seeing two other girls that give me absolutely no grief and would do anything for me, but they don't give me drama. I have them, so I don't worry about them. I didn't have her, so I felt like I had to fight for her. By taking a months worth of a timeout, my feelings have changed.
I'm going through all this right now, exact situation...burned the bridges three weeks ago and I REALLY TRULY hope that after 1 month I feel the same. That it gets better..because right now it sucks.

Good for you!!!
 

Blue Phoenix

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Nikos75 said:
When she's dodging your calls,

When she doesn't want to contact you during the weekend, which she has probably spent with her BF

When she's not making another move in the office -remember that you've been f**king each other-

When she's not calling or texting you

She gives you all the SPACE you need.

This space can be very well filled by another woman, preferably not one you're working with.

But she may be hoping that her action to give you space will have the rubber-band effect on you: She's pulling away whilst expecting you to be pulled close to her again. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS TRAP. Get another woman.
Nail on the head HIT!
 

tick37

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DonGorgon said:
LOL..true
Dude it's the middle of March, and I'm not sucked back in. I have other options that are much better, and I could care less. Think what you want, I don't care. Anyway, I'm not pursuing, she is!
 

tick37

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Blue Phoenix said:
Man, you´re a punching bag!
How come you're always saying most of the **** I say is spot on? You're just jumping on the bandwagon. I know who rules my life, and isn't her nor you. Ciao!
 

Blue Phoenix

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I mean, in this specific case man, you´re playing with fire.

I´m not saying it in general. IN this case! Take a look at this:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=140950

I´m going through something vey similar my friend. I know how hard it is.
 

tick37

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Dude, she's been calling me, and I'm not answering. She leaves for a trip tomorrow, and I don't plan on talking to her. I think she is attractive, but that's all I really like about her beside the fact that she's funny. I know better now than I did when I started this thread. There is no way I'll let her get the best of me again. I attached way too much in my head to her before. This time I don't even care, but I think it's neat how she's back, and I'm not really trying.
 

tick37

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Well, we talked at the end of the day, and she asked me to go on a wake boarding trip down in the south part of the state. I told her it was something I would think about, and then I became quiet. Suddenly she got nervous because she thought I was going to get off the phone, and she started trying to find something else to talk about. I'm telling you, she knows that I'm not as interested as I used to be, and it's causing her to second guess herself (maybe it's her ego). She chased me hard in the beginning and thought I was the cutest thing she ever laid eyes on. Now that I'm showing unpredictability and a challenge, she's eating it up. To continue my story, someone walked in my office, and I started acting like I was talking to them, told her I had to go, and quickly got off the phone.

So, later tonight I went out with a sorority chick I knew from college. This girl was into me. I was cracking her sh1t up. We ended up making out in the bar. Now I'm home, and she won't stop text messaging me.

I went out to eat with a totally different girl (half Iranian-half Caucasian) that I met at church this past Sunday. She kept looking at me over her shoulder, so I struck up a conversation with her after church, and we walked out together. We ended up going out to eat that night, and she told me all of her drama. It was like she was trying to convince me she wasn't bad. Weird!

Tomorrow I have a get together with another chick. Her name is Jenny, and she's a cute little mix of Caucasian and Korean. She's going to cook for me because when we first met, I asked if she could cook. She said she couldn't cook, so I hope she doesn't kill me.

Anyway, I don't really have an reason to worry about the first girl, or any girl for that matter, because I have plenty of options. I probably wouldn't care if I didn't have these options because I don't need them, and I could just go out and create other options whenever I really need to.

Something else is weird though. The sorority girl is the first Caucasian chick I've been with in 6 years. Being Caucasian myself, it's kind of refreshing. My ex wife was Indian/Caucasian, the first girl I was f'ing after her was Samoan/Hispanic, after her was the Korean/Caucasian, and then the girl at church is Iranian/Caucasian mix. These exotic women are hot and tan, but it felt really good to go out with someone more like me.
 
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