Waking Up

[0pt1mist1c]

Hey guys, just gonna chronicle the last couple months of my life, as they were absolute hell for me. Advice would be appreciated, and some clarity on some of the concepts in Rollo Tomassis' "The Rational Male" would be appreciated.

Over the summer of 2015 I met this chick whom I had a thing for, but never did anything about it because I discovered she was a Christian. We ended up becoming very good friends, so good that when she went to Barcelona for a month we ended up talking every single day; and was contacting me at 1-2 in the morning her time. It's fairly obvious she was into me, but I happened to be uninterested solely because of her religious beliefs (as I am an agnostic atheist).

At this point I should state that I am a incredibly active person as my profession requires me to be. I train for 7-8 hours a day Monday through Saturday, and moved halfway across the United States for this profession. It requires a commitment at a very young age as the window of optimal potential is very small. I attended school online and graduated a year and a half early so I could put all my attention to my training. She moved here to do the same.

When this girl (lets call her Camilla) returned from her trip, I was greeted by one of the biggest hugs I had ever received. I knew she had missed me, as she had stated previously, but I didn't think it would have been that much. So once again I blew it off, and for several weeks we continued being friends. During those weeks, I was questioned by my best friend as to whether or not I liked her, to which replied I did, but I had decided not to pursue her because of her religious affiliations. He then stated that I should talk to her about it, and told me "not to take things at face value". This is when the issues start to appear and where I could have avoided everything in the first place.

Camilla and I initially went on three dates. We exchanged interests and hobbies, also personal stories that were related to the material. But all of these dates ended with us talking about religion and attempting to explain ourselves to each other. I listened to everything she had to say about it, but when attempting to explain my interpretation of "God" she would always attempt to correct me to her way of thinking and say that I am wrong. We would spend hours uselessly debating each other in public, then after going to our residences, we would text about it even more. While it seemed like this was getting us nowhere, we were also discussing possible ways to cope with it.

Physical contact sharply escalated while these dates occurred. The first, there was none. Second, a bit of touching here and there. And the third, we cuddled as she was cold then kissed me after I dropped her off at her apartment. I was completely caught off guard and she actually missed my face during her first attempt. This really, REALLY, confused me as we had spent our dates arguing over religion and discussing how it would never work; but here she was, kissing me while I try to tell her we should just be friends. We secretly dated for a couple weeks until the end of November, when her mom came to town. Camilla acted super strange the whole time she was here, then broke things off at the end of the month. I was a little disappointing at this point as I thought it was working very well.

A week before Christmas we decide to try again. Talking escalates to sexting, and that lasted for about a week. The morning of my flight back to the academy, she tells me she feels guilty about everything and that we should call it off again. lasts for about a week, then we get back together again. I talk to her about how she feels doing anything sexual. takes a bit of convincing but agrees to it. We eventually do it, but her mom comes the next week and she breaks it off again saying shes going back to her religion.

This is only half of it, and the worst of it is yet to come. I want to see if someone will actually reply to this.

If you need specifics I'll be happy to provide them to you, just ask and I will tell. This whole experience is honestly what drove me to read about Female psychology in and self-improvement in general so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Aspiring Don Juan]

I wouldn't worry too much about her; there are lots of fish in the sea. I'm not quite sure what the question you're asking here is however. From your story, the problem seems not to be your fault, rather a personal struggle that she is enduring with her faith. You said she expressed interest in you, and the fact that she has been cutting you off and rekindling it supports my argument.

 

[0pt1mist1c]

I wouldn't worry too much about her; there are lots of fish in the sea. I'm not quite sure what the question you're asking here is however. From your story, the problem seems not to be your fault, rather a personal struggle that she is enduring with her faith. You said she expressed interest in you, and the fact that she has been cutting you off and rekindling it supports my argument.

I suppose I should have stated a question if I intended to get an answer, I apologize for not doing so.

I have one pretty basic question. All the women in my academy are very close, as I would expect since they are social creatures, but because I have shown and been open about my issues to them with this past relationship, this would decrease my value as a potential partner, correct? Since they have directly seen me in an emotional state and been told of how I acted. My question would be, how would I effectively raise my value after all the past events have come to pass.

Another big issue is that I still also feel emotionally connected to this woman. I have days where I'll think about her so much I lose sleep, then there's times I forget she even existed. She just seems to keep creeping into my head everywhere. I'm a incredibly active person, Im able to play any sport and I try to do so, but I recently got injured and the recovery time is around six weeks. So the past two weeks have been two hours of physical therapy, then taking pressure off of it so it can heal. Since most of my hobbies were active and involved physical movent, now that I'm just sitting around the apartment all day, I start to think and overthink I do. So some techniques on how to release my emotional attachment would be greatly appreciated.