Waitresses! Frustrating as hell!

[DJnoobtube]

Hi guys,

I've been scoping out this chick at a particular restaurant i frequent for about 2 weeks now. IOIs were there and boy like a true AFC was i fixated on them. So i bided my time, initiated conversation about a week later and now a week after that (today) asked her out for coffee.

Please note: Where i come from, we do not tip waitresses, just merely pay a service tax of soem sort.

Her response was "yeah sure", but she didn't initiate to give me her number. I will admit i was slightly jumpy, but not overly so. So anyway i waited and waited but she never did slip me her number, so as i head up to the cashier to pay, i ask her again, so coffee this week? And she was slightly less sure this time saying "uhm..sure."

I didn't try to number close, but i did say "So how do i contact you for plans" and she just said, "you know where i study, so i'll just see you when i see you."

Is this pseudo-rejection? Should i give it another go? Cuz i don't feel like i have anything to lose by doing so. Though it has been brought to my attention that it would potentially lower value.

Any thoughts and suggestions would be welcome.

Peace,
DJNoobTube

 

[Iceberg]

I think you're more frustrating than the waitress is. How do you have the courage to ask her out, but not the courage to ask for her number?

It can't hurt you to try again, so go for it. But good god, man. If you have the balls to say, "Let's go out for coffee." You might as well finish up with, "So, what's your number?"

You accomplished 90% of the hard part, and didn't go for that last 10%. Weird move, dude.

 

[Scion]

Yes, it's a rejection. That last line tells me even if you straight up asked for her number (and why the **** didn't you, it's not hard, after she said sure the first time you should have said "cool, well give me your number and I'll call you") she wouldn't have given it to you. Waitresses may flirt but that's so you spend more money. I work as a server so I do the same thing to the female customers, and the girls I work with are crazy with the flirting (sticking their t1ts and a$$ out, touching the guys, but they aren't interested, most of them have boyfriends).

 

[DJnoobtube]

Hi again,

The reason i didnt number close was cuz i was waiting for her to offer it. Bad move i know, but by that point it seemed overly awkward for me to do so. Won't happen again.

Anyway to answer you Scion i stated that we don't tip in this part of the world, so i don't see why flirting would have any bearing on the amount of money they make.

Question now is whether to go ahead and give it another go, or just walk away.

 

[Ease]

Hi again,

The reason i didnt number close was cuz i was waiting for her to offer it. Bad move i know, but by that point it seemed overly awkward for me to do so. Won't happen again.

Anyway to answer you Scion i stated that we don't tip in this part of the world, so i don't see why flirting would have any bearing on the amount of money they make.

Question now is whether to go ahead and give it another go, or just walk away.

Sounds like she wasnt interested.

But even if she was interested, she wouldnt offer her number. When you make a bold move, like iniating or asking her out, you need to follow it through.

 

[Scion]

Hi again,

The reason i didnt number close was cuz i was waiting for her to offer it. Bad move i know, but by that point it seemed overly awkward for me to do so. Won't happen again.

Anyway to answer you Scion i stated that we don't tip in this part of the world, so i don't see why flirting would have any bearing on the amount of money they make.

Question now is whether to go ahead and give it another go, or just walk away.

well my guess is that gratuity is automatically placed on the bill. And I'll further guess that gratuity is a percentage of the bills sub-total, am I right? Well by making you comfortable your more likely to buy more food and drinks, which increases the bill and their gratuity. Plus your more likely to come back.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Her response was "yeah sure", but she didn't initiate to give me her number. I will admit i was slightly jumpy, but not overly so. So anyway i waited and waited but she never did slip me her number, so as i head up to the cashier to pay, i ask her again, so coffee this week? And she was slightly less sure this time saying "uhm..sure."

I didn't try to number close, but i did say "So how do i contact you for plans" and she just said, "you know where i study, so i'll just see you when i see you."

"Aren't you going to give me your phone number?"

 

[DJnoobtube]

Hey guys,

Thanks for the responses, really appreciate them. Was wondering if i should bother following up, or decide if its time to cut my losses? I have other plates, but have invested a fair amount of time on this one.

 

[Iceberg]

Hey guys,

Thanks for the responses, really appreciate them. Was wondering if i should bother following up, or decide if its time to cut my losses? I have other plates, but have invested a fair amount of time on this one.

How much time could you have invested? You don't even have her phone number.

 

[Scion]

How much time could you have invested? You don't even have her phone number.

stalking?

 

[Lexington]

There's nothing to lose in asking for her number. But her response to "how am I supposed to contact you?" didn't sound very promising. So now you've learned a lesson: as soon as a girl agrees to go out with you, ask for her number right away. If she is reluctant to give it to you, it's a rejection....move on.

And like others said, waitresses love to lead guys on. Of course, they'll indulge you in a conversation. Usually they want better tips. I know you said you don't tip where you live, but she might just want to get you to spend more money.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

There's nothing to lose in asking for her number. But her response to "how am I supposed to contact you?" didn't sound very promising.

Her response didn't sound promising because she expects the man to LEAD.
You want to contact her at YOUR convenience, not hers, so you must be the one who makes the moves.

You can't rely on HER to make YOUR moves for you. Not trying is like rejecting yourself for her.

You also said that you've had two weeks to get a date with this girl.
That is long enough--move on.

In 2008, there were a recorded 2,381,600 waiters and waitresses in restaurants. I'm guessing over half of them are female, so there are over 1 MILLION other waitresses out there for you to date.

She doesn't seem so special now, huh?

 

[8ball]

First Impression: She doesn't like you. If she even remotely liked you she'd give you 14 different ways to get a hold of her.

Put her on back burner on "simmer", find others, and keep asking her out whenever you see her cuz you never know.

 

[nismo-4]

Listen to Pastor I'm in the mood!

You waited two weeks to make a move. Common sense should dictate that she could be losing interest. Making a move now is like striking cold iron. You are supposed to strike while the iron's hot!

Most waitresses have boyfriends anyway. They are heavily flirting with men cuz they know that could be the difference between 5 and 20 bucks!

You had the chance to number close and you blew it. Let it go. It's over. That's why you got that pseudo-rejection (Is that a word?)

Coming back trying to rekindle this flame will put you in Stalkerton, Virginia. Get back in the field and go after another waitress if that's your fancy. The man is supposed to lead. You rejected yourself by being a blithering blob of insecurity. A DJ etches his plans in stone, not jello, like you did. If you have other plates, spin them dammit!

Just remember the lesson learned here, read my sig, and apply it.

@ I'm in the mood, Get equipped with +1 rep!

Case closed.

 

[Kailex]

I didn't try to number close, but i did say "So how do i contact you for plans" and she just said, "you know where i study, so i'll just see you when i see you."


Peace,
DJNoobTube

Alright, I MIGHT have something that MIGHT work, but in order to pull this off, you HAVE to be Mr. Calm, Cool, and Collected.

In other words, given your previous story, I can already tell you probably won't be able to pull it off... but there IS hope.

So this is what you COULD do... fellow DJ's feel free to jump in and totally chime in and criticize my approach:


You know where she studies... DON'T GO. This is a potential disaster area for you. She can cut you off easily by telling you that she has to study. Avoid this.

Wait a week.

Go back to that restaurant a bit afterwards... take a friend or better yet, take a PLATE. Make sure that you have a GREAT time at that place and if SHE is your waitress, SMILE and be cool, but do NOT make her the center of your attention...yes, you can say HI, but absolutely do NOT mention going out at all... unless of course, SHE brings it up at some point if you are away from the people you are with... but, do NOT at any point... ask for her number, ask her when you are going out, ask her anything about getting together.

If by the time you leave, she hasn't asked you anything, just take off as per normal. If you have a plate there, make sure you kino:

#1: Because you should!
#2: Because you should!

Following me on this? It's not about having the waitress see you, it's about enjoying the person in front of you!

The NEXT time you come into that restaurant a week later... come in SOLO and with a newspaper or a book... see the waitress and if she is not serving you... make eye contact and smile but get into that book or newspaper that you are reading and let her come to you, if at all...

If by THIS time, she hasn't approached you AT ALL about why you haven't gone out with her... then there was probably VERY little interest to begin with.

Now, if you're feeling BRAVE and feel like you have your cojones FIRMLY in your hand... as you leave, walk up to her and tell her that YOU WANT TO TAKE HER OUT...and then say firmly: I need your number for that.

That last step, is up to you. You can either leave the restaurant that second time knowing that she didn't talk to you and wasn't interested or you can put all doubts to rest by asking.


Needless to say, I think you learned your lesson. Don't let anyone OFFER you anything. YOU TAKE A NUMBER. LEAD. Don't be passive aggressive. Full court press for those digits!!!