Waitress

[Darth]

Hi,

Went to a restaurant/diner with a buddy of mine, and got a really cute blonde waitress. She asked if our checks would be together or separate, and I said separate, of course!

Then I interpreted it as her calling me a homosexual, so I asked her if she asks every customer that question and she said yes. I said, "It's not like some kind of insult or something." She gave me a long answer about how sometimes there'll be a guy and a girl and she'll put it on one bill and then they'll get offended, but then sometimes it goes the other way and she gives two separate bills, but one was going to pay for the other, etc. etc.

Then she smiles, pauses for about 1/2 second and walks away.

(IN RETROSPECT: I should have followed up by explaining that I thought she was implying that I was a homosexual. She laughs. I say, I can prove I'm not gay. If she's interested, she asks how. I get the number).

Later the friend goes to the bathroom, and this waitress comes over and starts cleaning the table directly behind mine.

Now, I'm an idiot. IN RETROSPECT, I should've said something. The smiling. The making herself available to chat with. But the words just didn't come. I just couldn't think of a good followup. IN RETROSPECT, I could have asked her about the Superbowl. But I didn't.

After that I saw her again, and I almost felt a jolt of energy from her eyes...

All I did was I wrote on the bottom of the bill, "You are *really* cute."

Now, how should I approach this when I come to this place again. I want her. I have no experience with waitresses.

 

[Prodigy746]

You have been here since 05, have 690 posts and .......

you do something like this...

CMON MAN! I am not even gonna point out all the wrong things you did and no point of trying to help you , if you didnt learn anything in 5 years what makes you think you will start learning now.

 

[Iceberg]

Yeah. I think this guy's a little bit of a troll.

 

[Darth]

Troll? Don't be stupid.

If I was where I wanted to be with women I wouldn't be here. Of course I'm doing better lately- I have 2 pretty cute girls who think they're my girlfriend. I was kissed probably over 100 times today, by both of them (mostly by this Chinese girl). Although, perhaps that's made me complacent. I'm out of practice outright hitting on girls. I posted to get some feedback to prevent this type of thing from happening again.

I've been here. I've learned. I know what to do- IN RETROSPECT. My problem is, on the spot, I can't think of the right thing to say.

I want to learn how to think quicker on my feet. There. There's a concrete thing.

 

[Darth]

CMON MAN! I am not even gonna point out all the wrong things you did

Please tell me. I only see one- I didn't chat her up when my friend went to the bathroom.

 

[Darth]

OK, I get it. Thanks for all the help guys.

 

[Ice882]

some would argue that writing "you're really cute" on the bottom of the check is pedestaling. I would say "meh". You can compliment girls as long as you do it with a confident flavor.

"You're really cute. When your shift's over, call this number xxx-xxx-xxxx"

 

[Darth]

^^Yeah. That would put the ball in her court though.

Anyway, this "troll" business got me mad. I mean, I come here when things don't go right, not when things go right. I've improved a lot, and I've got 2 girls now on a consistent basis.

But then I thought maybe you're right, maybe I'm not doing enough to improve myself. So I've started working out really hard (adding cardio now) and after starting cardio I notice a huge difference just in the last few days with how I carry myself, my energy, composure, etc. Whereas before I seemed to have mild mood swings and fatigue going on.

It also seems to have helped give me more energy to be extroverted, because I chatted up a girl in class on Monday. Was going to ask her out today, but I noticed she was texting a lot (including in class) so instead on the way out the door I said, "You text a lot." She blushed and said that yeah, she was really bad. Then she said, "I have to work on that." Then she walked away in a different direction, her head down. She seemed embarrassed. Which wasn't what I intended.

Note to self: "You text a lot." Bad pick-up line.

 

[Isko]

http://www.personalpowermeditation.com/forum/index.php?topic=148.0

 

[Joe Stud]

Tomorrow.... same girl, same class, say the same thing: "you text too much". mess with her a bit... it will make her laugh.

 

[Isko]

BTW I think that girl who texts a lot is interested in you.

Meeting new people is almost always awkward in the beginning, ESPECIALLY when there's sexual tension. Both of you are being awkward because you don't want to screw up the impression you make. This leads to neither of you thinking that the other one likes you, so neither of you makes a move.

Be a man and show her that you like her! The awkwardness is a GOOD thing. You have to make a move while it's still awkward. Show her that you're interested- touch her or tell her. Ask her out.

 

[PRMoon]

The only thing you did wrong was fail to take the offensive when you had the chance. When the idea of talking to her popped into your head you froze. This is normal for most people. You started to think about it and sunk yourself. Next time do yourself a favor and don't think, just do it. Don't put too much weight on simply talking to a girl. What's the worst that could happen? You tell her she's attractive and you'd like to take her on a date, and she has a b/f (which is a very changeable condition) but she's flattered. Next time you go in you have a "friend" who serves you food. She might give you a break on your check or some free food (mmm pan cakes) if you play your cards right. Either way you get NOTHING if you fail to act. That is always the worst case scenario.

 

[nismo-4]

The only thing you did wrong was fail to take the offensive when you had the chance. When the idea of talking to her popped into your head you froze. This is normal for most people. You started to think about it and sunk yourself. Next time do yourself a favor and don't think, just do it. Don't put too much weight on simply talking to a girl. What's the worst that could happen? You tell her she's attractive and you'd like to take her on a date, and she has a b/f (which is a very changeable condition) but she's flattered. Next time you go in you have a "friend" who serves you food. She might give you a break on your check or some free food (mmm pan cakes) if you play your cards right. Either way you get NOTHING if you fail to act. That is always the worst case scenario.

I love this post! It gets a rep!

OP, you just need to read my sig. You had the hot iron, why the f**k didn't you strike it?

Next time you come there, she'll probably act uninterested in you. And you only have yourself to blame. If she still has an iota of interest left in her somewhere, take the goddamn initiative and make a move fearlessly!

Case closed.

 

[Darth]

Thank you guys- I genuinely appreciate the help. Thank you for that great post, PRmoon. That's a good reminder.

When I look introspectively I think my problem is still, I care too much what other people think, when there is NO reason. I overthink even the little stuff. Like a wrong look from someone on the street, I will actually spend a few seconds thinking about it. I want to turn that part of my brain off somehow. It's stupid. I have NO REASON to care.

Tomorrow.... same girl, same class, say the same thing: "you text too much". mess with her a bit... it will make her laugh.

You know I was actually thinking something like this for next class. I sit next to her, and if she's texting, I bug her about it. "That didn't take long." If not..."I notice you're not texting today." Either way I can tease her.

Then (she knows I'm into music and showed interest in that) I could say that I was going to ask if she wanted to come to a concert with me sometime, but I didn't know if she'd be able to tear herself away from her cell phone...