wait for it to happen or make it happen?

[Tails]

for a very long time now, i have been going with the "wait for it to happen." line. i will explain what they both mean.

example,

wait for it to happen: you're at a bus stop... a young pretty girl suddenly joins you, no one is talking... this is a chance that you did not make happen, it happened naturally. talk to her.

make it happen: you get to a bus stop with a young pretty girl sitting there by herself on the other side. you go to her side and sit next to her (not too close). wait a few moments, then start a conversation with her.

another example,

wait for it to happen: you're outside a cinema waiting for a movie to start, it's nice and sunny outside so you decide to take a seat at the nearby cafe, outside. you notice a very beautiful young woman, brunette with blue eyes. you sit down on another table somewhere in front of her, where you can't see her. she approaches you and joins you, asks you if you're waiting for a movie too, makes more conversation, gets to know you and so on.

make it happen: you're outside a cinema waiting for a movie to start, it's nice and sunny outside so you decide to take a seat at the nearby cafe, outside. you notice a very beautiful young woman, brunette with blue eyes. you approach her after walking up and down two or three times, perhaps less. you ask her if she is waiting for a movie too, make more conversation, you get to know her and so on.

tell me what you guys go by.

wait for it to happen
or
make it happen

if so, why?

 

[Bigsnake]

I "wait for it to happen" as in, at the bus stop like you said, in line at a store, sit close to me in class (college), at the grocery store, etc.

I thought about making it happen before but I just feel funny about it... Like she'll see that I'm doing something I wouldn't normally be doing to meet her. As in, see her walking down the street the other way and have to change direction to talk to her... Or see her sitting across the class when I come in and have to walk by all these empty seats to get by her... Just makes me feel odd...

I think I have a hard time w/ it now because I was accused of stalking a girl when I wasn't. I thought maybe I was doing something that scared her. So, for months I worried about it and it's now affected me. I then found out a "friend" who was also going after her was telling her lies about me... I now have a scare on my fist from his teeth... I still worry about girls getting the wrong idea about me from this though...

 

[Tails]

oh don't let that one thing bother you. it's okay to "make it happen" - i use to all the time and it worked many times. but like you said, if she's all the way down the other end of a class room or you have to change direction just cause you saw a pretty girl, then that's too much for me. if i know her, i won't have a problem... i just don't like it. for a long time now, it's just been "wait for it to happen" - it just feels natural and normal for you to start a conversation. and it happens alot too, sometimes they even start on you. even happened to me the other day in class. so waiting can't be such a bad thing.

 

[Player_Supreme]

There are those who will blow with the wind and end up whereever it takes them.
And there are those who will set their way in a particular direction and go where they desire to go.

A man never waits for opportunities to come...he creates them!

It's like waiting to see if your going to have sex with her. HELL NO. A man takes charge as is the way of a man.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

definitely wait for it to happen, you might end up alone, but you won't have to worry about getting rejected. Same with a job, never go out and look for one, just stay at home and wait for somebody to knock on your door and say, Tommy, I know you lack experience, skill, and knowledge, but our company wants to hire you for 100K per year. Yeah, that's how to do it.

What the heck do girls expect from us anyway? Do they actually expect us to have enough balls to speak to them? Are they nuts? No freakin way I'm ever gonna do that. I'd much rather stay at home with warm milk and wait for them to knock on my door and ask me to have wild sex with them or marry them. Does Pamela Anderson have my address?

 

[drmeathead]

Making it happen is a strong confidence move. If a girl likes you sh will consider it flattering that you thought enough of her to make a strong deliberate move. If she doesnt she may think you are a werido. But if she isnt family or she isnt f ing you then who cares what she thinks.


I think though you need to make it happen once you let it happen. Make sense? I hope. If not I can explain myself further.

 

[Tails]

lol. you funny man you. that wasn't what i had in mind. i was talking about the lengths of effort you'd go to just to talk to a girl. sure, if a girl is sitting next to you and you don't know her, why the hell not talk to her? i would. if she was on the otherside of the room, sitting alone, sure, i'd go for it.

damn, you know what man, i think i am getting carried away with the not approaching anymore. i always did it at school, uni, whatever. i would say hi to every pretty girl i saw. i'd check out girls, smile at them. but for some reason, i completely stopped doing it. i made myself believe that it's not worth going to the effort of getting off my @ss to go talk to a girl for some pu$$y. i had the perfect chance the other day matter of fact. twice.

a girl at the cafe that i know, not too well, but through a friend, came over and sat next to me and we had a talk. i didn't show too much attention and just answered her questions. i didn't ask any.

the same day, at lunch break... a japanese girl was checking me out, she was sitting by herself at a table outside near the cafe area having a smoke holding her phone. couple months ago, i would of approached, but i didn't and she left.

i also have led to believe myself not to have sex with random girls, i have made myself to just wait around to find a girlfriend. hell, sex is great and i love it, but why am i not doing anything to get some? i don't know. maybe you guys can give me some advice. i'd appreciate it.

 

[wolfie]

How much you make it happen will depend on how much you want. Do you want to get laid with a lot of women, develop your social skills and become a DJ? Or do you want to just be satisfied with whatever you can get by chance. Its up to you. If you approach more, you will get more. Simple as that.

 

[Tails]

i guess that's just my style. and it really doesn't bother me, so i don't see why i should change

 

[lloyd_bank$]

Just like to say that I've been "waiting for it to happen" for 20 years now, I've been with one girl! That was just a girl from work who happened to take a liking for me.

How can "waiting for it to happen" ever work?? If I did that, no girl would ever approach me (which they never have) and I'd never get laid again!! I find it very hard to make things happen, but waiting for it has got me nowhere!! Since trying to make it happen myself, I have only been rejected, but this is much better than thinking - "what if?"

 

[wolfie]

Strangely enough, if you're rich, good looking and socially proofed, 'waiting for it to happen' with chicks will seem to work more for you. I wonder why, maybe God loves these people more? hmmm...
for the average person though, they will have to make it happen.

 

[ScrewIt]

this is equivalent to motivation.

how bad you want something in life will ultimately give you the motivation you need.

such as doing good in school, finding a good job, networking with ppl.

or-

if you dont care, doesnt really matter much to you, about your desired outcome, then you have no real motivation.

making it happen = motivation

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by Tails
... hell, sex is great and i love it, but why am i not doing anything to get some? ...

because to do something about it is to risk the possibility of rejection. Rejection sucks but it's only as bad as you make it. Sorta like the question: Is the glass half empty or half full? It all depends on how you choose to look at things. Notice I used the word "choose". Because it's truly your choice, your attitude is your choice, not something you're born with, but something you can shape and control. So learn to shrug off rejection like a pesky house fly.

 

[Dirtheart]

I always used to have that "waiting for it to happen" frame of mind and in fact, majority of the women I've been involved with made the first move.

I missed out on a LOT of opportunities. I have had crushes on women who I was 99% sure were interested in me, but kept waiting for them to tell me outright. Needless to say, I have a lot of regrets about missed opportunities.

These days I'm leaning more towards making it happen, but would feel more comfortable if I had some indication of interest beforehand.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
There are those who will blow with the wind and end up whereever it takes them.
And there are those who will set their way in a particular direction and go where they desire to go.

A man never waits for opportunities to come...he creates them!

It's like waiting to see if your going to have sex with her. HELL NO. A man takes charge as is the way of a man.

Reminds me of a funny joke the late Robin Harris once told about a lazy man waiting around for a job to come to him.


Person at door:"Knock, knock, knock"
Guy: Who is it?
Person at door: "Job"

 

[improvingdonjuan]

making it happen is great, at least to me. i get all excited, palms get cold, get nervous and adrenaline rushes through my veins. I love that feeleing dude. i keep it under control and talk to them though ive notice that with less succes. ill keep doing it just for a learning experience , the rush and for the sake of the game.

last 5 numbers ive gotten (which i havent called, due to laziness and that i wasnt interested in those girls, well not enough to waste my money on them) were "waiing for them to happen" sort of, i was just minding my own business at work,at school , or at a store, i saw them checking me out, and we were either at the same seciton in the store (video games) or she happened to be sitting alone close to me at school, or that chick at work.
well i wasnt even trying i was just being me (a smart ass, conceided, ****y dude who things he is the cutes thing in the world {thanks mom, for the reassurance })
i just said hi and proceeded to start a combo and before i knew it i was making lots of smart ass remarks that made them laugh.

like that chick at school, we were joking around and she asked me in a playful tone "do you flirt with all the girls or is it cause im hot?" i replied "well the truth is i saw you all alone and i felt sorry for you so i came to give you the pleasure of my company"

anyway when the situation is there for the taking is easy as hell but i get no rush. when i go out of my way to aproach its when i really fell nervous.