Originally posted by Big-J
What I'm trying to say is Nothing's wrong with F*cking and Chucking a girl (hence the term F*ck and chuck). Example: you wanna f*ck this HB 10, but her personality makes her an HB5, and you have the opportunity to. Do you take it? HELL YES, unless you've got something wrong with you. F*cking a girl and going out with a girl are 2 different things, if someone can't figure that out they'll eventually find it out the hard way. the sooner the better.
Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! I don't mind the fvck and chuck. No problem whatsoever, it works thrillingly in the context of a one night stand or a casual relationship where expectations are low or non-existent. But that is
not the context. They used to go out and he broke up with her and you know what, he didn't seem that shaken up about it. Without repeating the warning never to go back on your word when you break up, the reason for the break up was the sex. Now she's thinking that if that's all that's stopping them form being together, and she removes that from the equation He'll go back to her. This is flagrantly using sex as a weapon and is not a habit ever want to encourage.
Now, I don't think ANIRBAN's in the position where he's thinking," Gee, I really like her, I think she's great and I would really like to have a meaningful relationship with her, but if only she would put out!" I'm thinking he's closer to," She's alright, but she doesn't want to lay down? Vuck dat! I'm so gone." So he broke up with her.
We're in the game for OUR needs and OUR wants, not someone elses needs and wants. We wanna F*ck the girl who's putting it out for us, because she thinks it'll keep us around? We WILL, because We WANT to, and She WANTS to (albeit for a stupid reason).
Even if you are looking out for your 'needs', you still exercise caution when even casual observation shows that you might be setting yourself up for a fall. If he was wanting to get his lay on, but she had a rash and some warts down there, would you still consider his 'need' to bust his greatest concern? Or would you appeal to his sense of self-preservation and tell him to find fresher fish?
And she doesn't want it. You know she doesn't want it. She doesn't want it because she's already thrown on the brakes. And while sex may be enough to break a relationship, it certainly isn't enough to make one. The deeper he goes, the worse he is for having ever got in the water to begin with.
What's more here is that if he consciously allows sex to influence his decision, or worse yet to go back on his word, then he is making his will subject to his desire for sex and thus enslaving himself to it. What rational person would ever consent to be enslaved?
It's not an Emotional relationship, HE wants p*ssy. She thinks getting the d*ck will make him wanna be with her forever. It's emotional for HER, not For him, therefore it can't be a Relationship. She can TRY to get him into a relationship, but until he says yes, it's not a relationship.
This reminds me of an old Robin Williams joke,"God gave us both a brain and a Penis, but not enough blood to use both at the same time." If we're not using our emotions here, lets look at this logically. We already know it can't be a relationship, you said so yourself. But you said it couldn't be one until he says yes, and you're missing something very important here. Even if he did say yes, the simple fact that he would be doing so to get laid would preclude any relationship, but by going back to have sex with her, he's taking from her, her commitment to her viriginity (she's committed to it obviously, and anyone who takes that virginity will usurp that commitment) She's upped the stakes in this game and if he plays along he implies his consent to her terms, or satisfying her demand for a relationship.
Furthermore, your entire argument assumes personal accountability on her part for making a bad choice. How rational of an assumption is that I ask you?
Because she's now viewing this as a committed relationship, and because of the way the 'relationship' was brought about by forcing her to put out, the second things start going bad she'll be once again plunged into whichever insecurities bade her to put out; which will lead to guilt for doing it; which will lead to self-loathing. This is where, for a man accountability would end it, tell him to cut his losses and learn for next time and be on with his life. How many women would or even could do that with such a heavy investment as her protected virginity? No, It will go on. Because the buck doesn't stop at self with her, self-loathing will lead to a feirce resentment of you; which will lead to revenge, a righteous retribution taken against you in some form or another. Even if she avenges the death of her virginity through passive agressive means,
you're still the bastard and your life is now that much worse off for having not been able to use your discrimination and say no when confronted with an offer. Pvssy in this case is a lure, with a veritable spider's web of strings attached to it, instantly ready to entangle you when you take the bait. Like a spider's web, those of us blinded by whatever degree of lust won't see the subtle snares until it is too late. I myself have seen these snares a hundred times and I'm telling you its not worth it to acquire such a cheap commodity.
Furthermore we know he wants pvssy, and more power to him in getting it, but is he really all that hard up that he should take on all this inevitable emotional baggage and future histrionics to get something so easily acquired? At this point it would be like running the gauntlet to get the prize from a cracker jack box.
She makes a stupid choice, there is a Consiquence, and thus is life. I do something extremely stupid when driving, the consequence is either I die, or something worse happens. I decide to go play golf in a massive thunderstorm, I might get struck by lightning. You see, giving up HER virginity is HER choice. Risking HER emotions is HER choice.
Nice example of moral rationalization but in light of the previous that's incredibly short-sighted. She's not thinking," I might get hurt but I want to be with him so I don't mind risking it and that means sex.". She's thinking "Oh my god! He's leaving me and it hurts! I'm going to lose him! I really don't want to put out, but he's not going to like me any more if I don't and then he'll choose another girl over me!" She's not consciously playing with fire, she's trying to put one out. She's not taking a calculated risk, she's in panic mode.
For EVERYONE playing the game there is ONE person that should matter above all else, and that is yourself. Albeit some exceptions may arise, they all depend on the person. In this case, when it comes to letting a chick make a stupid choice or not, remember this:
If She'll do this for Him, she'll do it for someone else. So Why not let it be Him Popping her Cherry?
Atleast he'll have her before every bad boy in the area including the guy that popped her cherry has their way with her?
Like it was said:
"Either Play or be Played."
That's a Jerk talking, not a Don Juan. Your entire argument says that if she's going to lose it eventually anyway, why not just be the one to get it over with?
Because:
A) This logic assume that his d1ck is not only the only thing that he's bringing to this equation, but that's all that she wants from it. This is obviously not the case because she said no. All men are not created equal. She wants something in return that he can't or is unwilling to give her and some other schmuck can. So what purpose does any of this serve but to fvck her and get screwed in return? Too much indulgence ultimately leads to a purge.
B) From there you have to rationalize it with that trite old maxim," Its a jungle out there. Kill or be killed." Uh, one problem. To use an example from swingers he's this big grizzly with great big fangs and great big claws. She is a little bunny. What the everloving fvck is that little bunny going to do to to that big old bear? She's not even the only bunny out there. He's a bear in a sea of bunnies, and he was about to pass her up for more suitable prey before she came to him. This is not a question of equal competition in a matter of survival. He's not in the least possible danger from this chick, and he won't die of sexual starvation if he doesn't do her.
C) Her virginity is not just more baggage to be fetisoned like it is with some guys. Its not just this natural eventuality which will happen anyway, so why put it off any longer? I don't see you guys shaving your heads because eventually you're going to go bald. By delaying until its your time and you're ready you live a more fulfilling life (just ask any guy from a Rogaine commercial). We all must proceed along our own lines. By opening the cacoon before its time we only serve in destroying it and rob the world of the beauty it would have produced had it been left to mature on its own.
You are the only one that matters, so don't be complicit and walk into this trap because of an easy lay you could ultimately get without so much hassle from someone better anyway. By playing into her self-destruction you catch the fallout. You don't need that, life is demanding enough.
Lastly I have to re-enforce the point that she is not the only fish in the sea, so why eat this fish instead of another one if you know the fish could very well turn out to be poisonous? Walk away man, you're better off.
-Cyrano
