AsianPlayboy
Senior Don Juan
One of life skills as an adult we have to learn is emotional management and self-awareness, but approaching women- even for the best of us- can be scary. But approach anxiety is something we all have to deal with as men. Approaching girls is actually easy to learn, but hard to master. Not because it's technically hard, but because our emotions can get the best of us.
So if you're a still a newbie when it comes to talking to girls, here are 7 straightforward tips that can help you push past that fear and actually start feeling comfortable approaching women:
Let me know if any of these tips work for you or if you have other tricks that help!
So if you're a still a newbie when it comes to talking to girls, here are 7 straightforward tips that can help you push past that fear and actually start feeling comfortable approaching women:
- Start Small – Don’t expect to go from zero to chatting up your dream girl right away. Start by just talking to anyone – your barista, a cashier, or even the guy at the bus stop. This isn’t about picking people up; it’s about building comfort with talking to strangers. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
- Desensitize Yourself – Spend time in places where you'd like to meet women, whether that’s a bar, cafe, or park. The more familiar you are with an environment, the less anxious you’ll feel. Familiarity helps dial down that fight-or-flight response.
- Use Simple Observational Openers – Forget cheesy pickup lines. Just comment on something around you, like, “Hey, that book looks interesting, what’s it about?” or “You look like a coffee expert—what did you order?” It keeps things natural and takes the pressure off.
- 3-Second Rule – When you see someone you want to approach, count to three and just go. The longer you hesitate, the more excuses your brain will come up with to back out. This rule is all about overriding that initial fear impulse.
- Get Comfortable with Rejection – Here’s a tough pill to swallow: rejection is part of the game. And it’s actually a good thing because it builds resilience. She’s not rejecting you as a person (she doesn’t even know you); she’s just not interested right then. Shake it off and move on.
- Visualize Success – Spend a few minutes every day imagining yourself approaching women and having good conversations. Visualizing success can help reduce your nerves when you’re actually in the moment.
- Celebrate Every Win – Don’t just focus on whether you “succeed” in the interaction. Give yourself credit just for making the approach, even if it didn’t go perfectly. The more you recognize these small wins, the more your confidence will grow.
Let me know if any of these tips work for you or if you have other tricks that help!
