My neighbors dog used to drive me insane.. barking at all hours of the night non-stop. I asked her nicely on many occasions to shut the little fleabag up, but to no avail. I can't count how many nights I lay awake listening to the incessant howling and yipping. It was really doing my head in and people around me started to notice how aggro I was.
One of my pals at work asked me point blank if there was anything wrong cause I had been extra snippy that day, so I told him the whole schpeil and he was very sympathetic. He even joked with me about getting a tranquilizer gun or sniper rifle... ha ha hee hee.. I thought nothing of it.
2 weeks go by and he passes by my desk again, placing a massive blue pill on my keyboard. I'd never even heard of Viagra and when he told me what it was I didn't know whether to laugh or be offended.
"It's not for YOU, dumbass", he said with a devious grin
"it's for Sparky!"
He then broke the pill into small chunks and told me that too much would probably kill the poor mutt, but a small dose would probably have some entertaining results. I dismissed his ideas as insanity and he just scraped up the crumbs and put them in the front pouch of my bag.
"We'll see who is insane soon enough"
I was just like whatever and totally forgot about the whole thing.
Fast forward another week and Sparky is up to his old tricks again. I had an important meeting the next day and couldn't afford to show up haggard... that's when I remembered what was in my bag!
I went to the kitchen and got a small muffin, pressing one of the smaller pill crumbs into it. I launched it into the neighbor's backyard and Sparky chomped it down in one gulp.
Then I waited.
About half an hour later, like clockwork, I hear my neighbor scream "NO!! NOOO!!! BAD DOG!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!! OMG!!!!!"
The screams got louder and I realized she was in front of her house, getting chased by a ****er spaniel with a massive hard-on, red and waving like a chinese flag!! The commotion had the entire neighborhood looking out their windows and all of them were laughing their asses off.
Looking back I feel bad for making such a fool of her.. but at the time I was crying from laughing so hard... That sparky sure was PERSISTENT, LOL!!!
Of course this didnt solve my long term problems and I ended up moving out of that apartment, but after laughing so hard for an hour straight, I slept better in that house than I had in years.
