VERY Touchy Situation HLEP PLEASE

Moofahsa

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Little back ground, October of 2005 my best friend died while on life support.

His Girlfriend, brother, I and his mother were all present and watched him fade off. Very tough situation, we were all devestated, he had a minor medical procedure done and had a bad reaction to some meds they gave him and never came out of a coma and was on life support for over a month. Had brain damage and we were all kinda relieved that he didn't pull through because he wouldn't have been the same.

I spent literally as much time with him, his mother and girlfriend. I was the only one aloud to sleep in his room. (literally 3 and a half weeks worth, all my vacation and sick leave showered in the er bathroom) I developed a strong bond with his g/f, more of a shoulder to cry on and to run errands and make sure her and his mother were taken care of.

Well at his funeral his g/f came on to me, spent a lot of time with me...sat by me at the funeral...cried on my shoulder, came and met my parents afterward. Was pretty ackward because even my deceased friends brother said she was coming on to me and it pissed him off at the time (at me)

We kept in close contact for about a year and she drove the 700 miles with his family to come visit me. We have a connection, not sure how to take it but I always felt she was wayyy out of my league (a solid 9.5 KNOCKOUT while I normally go after 7-8's)

Well I got this random phone call from her wanting me to come spend the weekend at her new apartment. I'm not sure if this is a friend thing or a relationship thing. In the past when we were close we would go to the shooting range, outdoor activites, all kinds of stuff...but my deceased brother and his girlfriend were tag alongs. She had a "boyfriend" she dated for a month that stalked her for about a month, nasty phone calls, knocks on the door...weird presents...she was terrified. I happened to be in the area visiting my family and gave the little punk a visit that ended up with me shoving his little arse in a trash can after rearranging his face. Nothing ever came of it because he had never seen me and only knew after I blinded sided him and told him to stay away from her. At that time it was more of a protecting my family kind of thing, but I think she saw it as something more...though I could be mistaken.

Recently (like 3 months ago) my deceased buddy and his girlfiend severed (were roommates) ties and have moved on in seperate directions. They don't talk anymore, no harsh words they just kinda out grew each other.

Here are her recent messages:

"I love you. I miss you. When are you goind to come to visit? I'm sorry I've been a bad friend. I do not have internet access at my apartment. How are things?"

I answered but very friendly and not in great detail... then I got

About a week later:

"Whats wrong? I wanna know about what your doing, but you have this terrible habit of talking to me without telling me how you really are. Damn you. Anyway, I could be your personal tour guide... so get up here!

Take me shooting while you're at it. "


I really do have feelings for this woman, but sheesh she was my best friends girlfriend for years. Though I do NOT feel it would be betraying him if I did anything, but then again I'm not really sure what she wants.

She told me on the phone I could sleep in her bed and she would take the couch (mainly because I'm crazy tall) but damn.

I'm just confused and unsure of where to take it, I don't know if I should drive the 11 hours and expect a friendly hug or something more...

Help me out.
 

Moofahsa

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BTW I'm pretty sure its 4am and I can't sleep because of this.

Not worrying about the girl, just curious if it is something I should persue as friends or more...dang
 
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Simnple kid - go after women who you desire!!! Your friend is dead - I don't think she wants him!!!
 

Vulpine

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I think your friend would be happy knowing it was YOU she was with, and not some douchebag random dude she bumped into at the gas station after the funeral.

Get it?

You didn't intend to steal her away or anything, you just grew together. I can't see any harm in it.

If she's someone you truly want to be with, then go for it. If it were me, and I had no serious intentions (ie: fux and toss), then I would pass out of respect.
 

Moofahsa

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I'm getting ahead of myself here but...

If she wanted a relationship I would pack my bags and transfer schools, this girl is just amazing.

thanks guys, anymore advice would be great.
 

MacAvoy

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Moofahsa said:
thanks guys, anymore advice would be great.

Whatever you do ..... DON'T

Moofahsa said:
If she wanted a relationship I would pack my bags and transfer schools, this girl is just amazing.
Thats a one way trip to AFC'ville. You've already put her on a pedastool, think she's way out of your league, your headed for trouble. That being said, I still think you should go for it with her but you need to shift your mindset.
 

Moofahsa

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I know what you mean-

She thinks I'm out of her leauge. Calls, messages on myspace, texts...

Always fishing for a compliment I don't have unless deserved.
 

Charm

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Meet other women. This girl is a good candidate for true reverse psychology though. Tell her, "Look, I can tell you've been interested in me for a while but I am only interested in being friends. I do like you and want to continue being friends but that is all I want."

That'll put her on the defensive and put the next move and ball in your court.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

sav

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me personally, i'd never bang my best friends girlfriend whether he's dead or alive.. but thats just me.

i dont see anything wrong with it... i just personally wouldnt..
 

Moofahsa

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Nah You guys don't get the situation.

This is the same girl that sober (when I was drunk) that gave me a naked lap dance.

LOL
 
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