venting/wanting to call a b1tch out

[bcollarmechanic]

ok so this is mostly venting but heres the story

i stopped at a deli on the way home from a friend whos in the military, he lives about an hour away, recently he was diagnosed with a tumor on his spine so i went to spend some time with him for some moral support

when i left his place i stopped at a deli that i usually go to when visiting him thats close to his house, there was a cute girl working there that i started to chat with, as we were chatting she told me to stick around for a little as she was going on her break, so i did, we talked for a good 15-20 minutes about a bunch of bs, we exchanged numbers and i was doing a little kino, like putting my arm around her and stuff

she seemed very comfortable with all this, so when she told me she had to get back to work we hugged and then i put my arm around her and went in for a light kiss, she just turned her body and said she wasnt comfortable kissing me yet as she doesnt really know me, i just blew it off and said ok

she then said before i left to text her or come visit her again at work

so a few weeks later i dont text or call but im at my friends house again and im leaving so i stop at the deli again

as i walk in i grab a cold energy drink and head for the counter, she walks into the back room when she sees me and im thinking, what the hell is she blowing me off

so i order a little something to eat to go and she doesnt come out of the back room, the other girl is making the food

after i pay i leave the deli and think whatever, but it was bothering me that she blew me off so i thought what the hell, im going back in and going to see whats up

theres a few people in there and the girl i was flirting with was with the other girl making some subs, she doesnt notice me, but im a few feet away and i can hear her talking to her friend, some of what i heard was this

her to the co worker girl- "yeah so he put his arm around me and grabbed me to try to kiss me, and i basically had to push him off of me"

im standing there in complete shock, next i dont know if i said this or thought this but it was, "is that about me", she then looks up and sees me and holds eye contact with me that felt like forever, i couldnt speak or anything so i turn around and left

my shock quickly turned into anger, i deleted her number from my phone without hesitation as i knew that if i kept it i would curse her out through text

now im just really p1ssed off that i didnt stand up for myself, i really wanted to turn around drive back and walk in that deli and tell her that youre a lying b1tch, that if she was so creeped out by me she couldve told me to leave her alone, but no she tells me to visit her again at work

and a part of me still wants to go there and just call her out, shes spreading false sh1t about me, making me look like a creeper, ive been told by girls before that theyre not interested and i just turn and walk away, but she specifically tells me to see her again and then turns around and spreads rumors about me

what would you have done? would you have called her out in the store in front of everyone? or just forget it and move on from this bpd chick?

 

[jurry]

You came on too strong. You just met the chick, why did you feel the need to kiss her after chatting for ten minutes outside her work? That changes you from "some cool guy she met who might take her out sometime" to "desperate guy trying to get in my pants after we just met". You dont need the kiss, you dont need her, youve got your own life with many options. You lower your value when you are overly aggressive like that. Be patient, dont try and force things.

 

[TheCWord]

You came on too strong. You just met the chick, why did you feel the need to kiss her after chatting for ten minutes outside her work? That changes you from "some cool guy she met who might take her out sometime" to "desperate guy trying to get in my pants after we just met". You dont need the kiss, you dont need her, youve got your own life with many options. You lower your value when you are overly aggressive like that. Be patient, dont try and force things.

I actually respect the balls of going for a kiss so quickly - IF you're getting the right signals. My guess here is OP misread the signs. The fact that it was at her place of employment was probably sign #1 that a kiss might not be well received here.

I remember seeing a TMZ video of Gerrard Butler walking up to a random girl on the street. Spoke for maybe 5 secs. Made out with her. Then walked away.

None of us on here are Gerrard Butler, but I still like the idea of always being as bold as the girl will allow you to be.

Also, I'm pretty sure I've kissed a girl within the time frame OP had. It definitely didn't come off as needy and very quickly escalated to going back to my place for sex. Again, the conditions just gotta be right.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

Women perceive things differently, and I think that was the case here. She sounded interested at first, but got turned away when you put your arm around her. Some times you can do bold things and have it work wonders, but you have make sure there's a high interest level on her end.

Don't worry about calling her out, it's over. You'd be a lot happier if you let this one go, and it's not like you absolutely have to see her again any way.

 

[jurry]

I actually respect the balls of going for a kiss so quickly - IF you're getting the right signals. My guess here is OP misread the signs. The fact that it was at her place of employment was probably sign #1 that a kiss might not be well received here.

I remember seeing a TMZ video of Gerrard Butler walking up to a random girl on the street. Spoke for maybe 5 secs. Made out with her. Then walked away.

None of us on here are Gerrard Butler, but I still like the idea of always being as bold as the girl will allow you to be.

Also, I'm pretty sure I've kissed a girl within the time frame OP had. It definitely didn't come off as needy and very quickly escalated to going back to my place for sex. Again, the conditions just gotta be right.

Right I completely agree, it is difficult to tell without being there what the connection was like. A spontaneous kiss can definitely work but this obviously was not the time. If it was a casual, getting to know you conversation (which it sounds like it was) then it wouldnt make sense. If it was some smooth, strong eye contact, panty soaking type of interaction then yea you could probably pull her into the supply closet if you wanted.

 

[Bingo-Player]

a spontaneous kiss will not work in day game especially within the first interaction with her

its seen as social suicide for women

 

[Tictac]

Get over yourself.

 

[Rainman4707]

I think it was going smoothly until you went in for kiss. Maybe she thought she would be viewed as easy so she put up resistance. Maybe if you had tried saying :-

Don juan :- So how good a kisser are you on a scale of 1-10?

HB :- blah blah... 10 or why don't you find out or I'm not sure.

Donjuan :- I want to kiss you now or I think you want to kiss me now.

I find this method fun & less intrusive for her. Yes , maybe it's not the most passionate or romantic way, but I like the method.

How did you go in for kiss OP?

 

[Between_The_Lines]

I could be off the mark here but it sounds to me like you need to get blown out - a lot. And maybe a few of them ought to be a bit on the extreme end too. I think this is the bigger issue here ...you need to work on getting more desensitized to this sort of stuff (flaking, schizophrenic flip-flopping behavior). Figuring out why this got you so riled up will serve you far, far better in the long run than figuring out whether or not to come at this one with a flame thrower of slurs and invectives.

 

[bcollarmechanic]

I could be off the mark here but it sounds to me like you need to get blown out - a lot. And maybe a few of them ought to be a bit on the extreme end too. I think this is the bigger issue here ...you need to work on getting more desensitized to this sort of stuff (flaking, schizophrenic flip-flopping behavior). Figuring out why this got you so riled up will serve you far, far better in the long run than figuring out whether or not to come at this one with a flame thrower of slurs and invectives.

ive been blown out before, ive been flaked on, dumped, and told theyre not interested, i really couldnt care less and next

the thing that got me is ok i tried to give her a light kiss and maybe that was too early, but she was totally over exaggerating how it happened, which is what girls do fine

but why not just tell me youre not interested or you dont want to see me again

instead she tells me to come see her again at work

also to be clear i didnt say anything to her, not a word, i wanted to but i just turned around and left, i was angry that she was making me out to be a creep but i didnt say a word to her and i cant since i deleted her number and i wont be going to the deli again

 

[bcollarmechanic]

Get over yourself.

i dont understand?

i have high respect for myself which i believe every dj should have and got offended that she was making lies about me

did i call her out or say anything to her? NO. i just left the deli.

i realize now that even if i did say something it wouldnt have made a difference and just wouldve made things worse

so im just dropping it and never going back to that deli again

 

[Rainman4707]

It does seem to have wound you up...if it were me I think I would of just walked out & moved on.

 

[bcollarmechanic]

It does seem to have wound you up...if it were me I think I would of just walked out & moved on.

i did just walked out, and i am moving on, it did wound me up some but whatever im over it, like i said mostly just venting, next