Value trumps all things

[Urbanyst]

High interest comes from women seeing value in you. Nothing else really matters!

Here is what just happened to me. I went clubbing with friends for the first time in a while. I met a girl that I ended up chatting with most of the night. When I was ready to leave, I number closed her. Btw, other guys were hitting on her all night too.

I waited almost a week to text her. This wasn't a game I was playing, I was just busy. I texted her Thursday after the weekend we met and invited her to come out with me on Saturday. She said she was too tired and wanted to stay home and rest. I told her no worries. Didn't text her back after that.

Again, I was not playing games. I just had other stuff going on so I wasn't that focused on her. Anyway, she texts me a week later asking me if I want to go out over the weekend. I told her I had plans already. Then she suggested Sunday. I said sure. So we got brunch on Sunday and she was very flirty. I invited her home to watch Netflix since Sunday's are lame for going out. We got physical while binge watching Archer. She came back Monday night to watch more Archer and we had sex again. She wants to come back again tonight, but I told her no, so we are going out for dinner and drinks tomorrow.

This girl is hot and I used no game on her at all and I didn't chase her at all. She just saw my value and decided she wanted to sleep with me and she is loving the sex.

I'm actually worried she is moving too fast to be honest. She wants to see me all the time. Not sure I want a relationship with her. In the spring and summer I like to be single. Plus I have some booty calls I want to keep hooking up with. Since I started making loads of money, I'm not as interested in commitment as I used to be. I would rather focus on making even more money.

You need high value in this game. When you don't have it, you live paranoid about losing your girl. Totally flips the script when you have value. I worry more about losing my money than losing any girl.

 

[stovepipe]

I'm a little confused here. What kind of value in yourself are you referring to here? All I see is, "rejection that bred obsession".

 

[Urbanyst]

I'm a little confused here. What kind of value in yourself are you referring to here? All I see is, "rejection that bred obsession".

When I started making loads of money it gave me a huge confidence boost. I was already ok with women, but the success helped a lot.

Its possible this particular girl just became insecure because I ignored her. But if some homeless guy on the street ignored her, she would probably not care. My high value is why she was/is insecure, if she is.

 

[thatfeel]

Hmmmm..

 

[bigneil]

High interest comes from women seeing value in you. Nothing else really matters!

Here is what just happened to me. I went clubbing with friends for the first time in a while. I met a girl that I ended up chatting with most of the night. When I was ready to leave, I number closed her. Btw, other guys were hitting on her all night too.

I waited almost a week to text her. This wasn't a game I was playing, I was just busy. I texted her Thursday after the weekend we met and invited her to come out with me on Saturday. She said she was too tired and wanted to stay home and rest. I told her no worries. Didn't text her back after that.

Again, I was not playing games. I just had other stuff going on so I wasn't that focused on her. Anyway, she texts me a week later asking me if I want to go out over the weekend. I told her I had plans already. Then she suggested Sunday. I said sure. So we got brunch on Sunday and she was very flirty. I invited her home to watch Netflix since Sunday's are lame for going out. We got physical while binge watching Archer. She came back Monday night to watch more Archer and we had sex again. She wants to come back again tonight, but I told her no, so we are going out for dinner and drinks tomorrow.

This girl is hot and I used no game on her at all and I didn't chase her at all. She just saw my value and decided she wanted to sleep with me and she is loving the sex.

I'm actually worried she is moving too fast to be honest. She wants to see me all the time. Not sure I want a relationship with her. In the spring and summer I like to be single. Plus I have some booty calls I want to keep hooking up with. Since I started making loads of money, I'm not as interested in commitment as I used to be. I would rather focus on making even more money.

You need high value in this game. When you don't have it, you live paranoid about losing your girl. Totally flips the script when you have value. I worry more about losing my money than losing any girl.

Your mistakes in bold. Somehow he still scored.

Value doesn't exist in a vacuum. Value is provided in tangible, measurable ways. A coin dealer can't say "This coin has more value therefore it is worth more". Duh. WHY does it have more value? Is it more rare? Is it more in demand?

 

[wifehunter]

 

[EmotionalGeek]

Ahhh, mystical value everyone is talking about. I feel like value is another fountain of youth on sosuave. This term is so generic and abstract that no one can tell what it really means.

 

[btownbuck2012]

*PERCEIVED* Value trumps all things.

 

[The Duke]

I'm not seeing how your "value" got this girl. Maybe she was physically attracted to you and horny. Sounds like you were persistent with out chasing and the other guy she had going fell thru.

 

[Urbanyst]

*PERCEIVED* Value trumps all things.

Yeah that's right. Women perceiveing you as high value and you perceiveing yourself as high value.

I'm telling you.. once you get that ego and start seeing yourself as high value things get very easy. Almost too easy.

Guys with low self esteem act fake to get girls. But they are insecure as hell and it comes out in small ways that women can detect through sh*t tests. You pass every test when you have true self confidence.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Yeah that's right. Women perceiveing you as high value and you perceiveing yourself as high value.

I'm telling you.. once you get that ego and start seeing yourself as high value things get very easy. Almost too easy.

Guys with low self esteem act fake to get girls. But they are insecure as hell and it comes out in small ways that women can detect through sh*t tests. You pass every test when you have true self confidence.

I agree that if you are insecure with yourself it will manifest itself in ways that you aren't even aware of but women definitely pick up on. There is no substitute for authentic healthy self esteem and confidence. However, for me personally, I get that from experience and accomplishments I value as opposed to anything external. If the external stuff follows, that's great, but I don't ever rely on it to feel good about myself - it's fleeting as hell and IME as soon as you rely on it to feel good about yourself it vanishes. But that's just my experience. God bless ya if it's been different for you.

 

[Urbanyst]

I agree that if you are insecure with yourself it will manifest itself in ways that you aren't even aware of but women definitely pick up on. There is no substitute for authentic healthy self esteem and confidence. However, for me personally, I get that from experience and accomplishments I value as opposed to anything external. If the external stuff follows, that's great, but I don't ever rely on it to feel good about myself - it's fleeting as hell and IME as soon as you rely on it to feel good about yourself it vanishes. But that's just my experience. God bless ya if it's been different for you.

Its not like I had low self-esteem before I was making money. But success is always an ego booster. And all success is external btw. There is really no such thing as internal success.

Money matters a lot. The computer you use to post here costs money. Your clothes cost money. The food you eat costs money. Money is very, very, very important. Access to money is a sign of high value. It just proves your value to the world and to women.

I never understood the argument of people who pretend money doesn't matter. You ask those same people if they would take a check for a million dollars and all of them would tell you yes. So that argument is a total joke to me.

 

[EmotionalGeek]

Its not like I had low self-esteem before I was making money. But success is always an ego booster. And all success is external btw. There is really no such thing as internal success.

Money matters a lot. The computer you use to post here costs money. Your clothes cost money. The food you eat costs money. Money is very, very, very important. Access to money is a sign of high value. It just proves your value to the world and to women.

I never understood the argument of people who pretend money doesn't matter. You ask those same people if they would take a check for a million dollars and all of them would tell you yes. So that argument is a total joke to me.

It's not that money doesn' t matter. It's that people don't like idea of being bought.

 

[fastlife]

*PERCEIVED* Value trumps all things.

Beat me to it.

Speaking of Value, if perceived value is way higher than her perceived potential to access that value then that same girl will sometimes flake out to preempt rejection or the pain that could result from 'losing out' on that value. Which is why comfort is equally important (probably more important once you're conveying a lot of value).

Those nuances exist whether you're consciously aware of them or not.
.

 

[guru1000]

Beat me to it.

Speaking of Value, if perceived value is way higher than her perceived potential to access that value then that same girl will sometimes flake out to preempt rejection or the pain that could result from 'losing out' on that value. Which is why comfort is equally important (probably more important once you're conveying a lot of value).

Those nuances exist whether you're consciously aware of them or not.
.

Yup. Beautiful women hold a huge investment in their validation. Anyone who potentially threatens that validation could be preemptively disqualified because maintaining that validation supersedes the potential of relations with this one high-value man.

 

[fastlife]

Yup, I can't tell you how often this has happened. And I don't say this as an ego-preserving self-serving statement. Beautiful women hold a huge investment in their validation. Anyone who potentially threatens that validation could be preemptively disqualified because maintaining that validation supersedes the potential of relations with this one high-value man.

Exactly. Most guys default to thinking it was because they lacked value--but past a certain point, it's often the reverse & and the relationship history of these girls (both before & after they flake on you) is often littered with guys who are lower value by any objective measure (be that looks, wealth, status, personality, etc.). A lot of people like to use the Brad Pitt example--Well, she wouldn't have flaked on Brad Pitt--but the truth is the average girl would flake on Brad Pitt left, right, and backwards out of sheer nervousness.

Also why at a certain level you can get blown out all night with cute 6's and 7's and then pull a hard 9 at the end of the night just by saying hey.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Exactly. Most guys default to thinking it was because they lacked value--but past a certain point, it's often the reverse & and the relationship history of these girls (both before & after they flake on you) is often littered with guys who are lower value by any objective measure (be that looks, wealth, status, personality, etc.). A lot of people like to use the Brad Pitt example--Well, she wouldn't have flaked on Brad Pitt--but the truth is the average girl would flake on Brad Pitt left, right, and backwards out of sheer nervousness.

Also why at a certain level you can get blown out all night with cute 6's and 7's and then pull a hard 9 at the end of the night just by saying hey.

Same concept surrounding guys who are late bloomers/shy and go into hardcore self improvement mode and then years later venture back out into the dating scene only to get, as you said, blown out by the caliber of small town hick women they wanted in high school only to find the 8s and 9s in the big city are much more receptive to them. But again, the mindf*ck here is intense. If you are one of these guys, like I was, you could very easily, as I have, fall into a major depression thinking all that self improvement wasn't enough to get the chicks you've always wanted until, again, you raise your standards and realize there is a whole other level of quality out there that you never even before imagined was possible.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

You need high value in this game. When you don't have it, you live paranoid about losing your girl.

True, but at the same time misleading. Value is ALWAYS subjective. Especially when talking about human relationships.

The HARDEST "red pill" for any human to swallow is value is ALWAYS in the eye of the "valuer" not he who is being "valued."

No matter how much YOU think YOU have high value, if SHE doesn't "see it" then, she's not interested.

(that's pretty much the reason so many dudes have so many problems with women. The dudes "think" they have "high value" but they can't find a woman who'll agree with them.)

Just like a dude selling a used car THINKS it's "valued" at $5K, if a potential buyer DOESN'T AGREE, he ain't spending the $5K.

VALUE IS ALWAYS SUBJECTIVELY DETERMINED BY THE BUYER, NOT THE SELLER

 

[Atom Smasher]

The edge we have, though, is that if we delusionally think we have high value, with knowledge and awareness that we are purposely deluding ourselves in order to become that which we are thinking about, we start to become high value.

I was miserably low value and confused when I first came here. I have learned that if I act "as if", in any arena of life, I eventually become that which I want to be. It involves completely and utterly ignoring the reality of present circumstances and just acting as if things were different. It takes practice to be able to detach from "reality" like that.

When we feel worthless or low-value, we are delusional because of course no one is worthless. When we feel "high value" before we are, we are also being delusional. Why not delude oneself in the positive direction?

Detaching from the reality of my circumstances (or even my current state of growth) and just playing the part both outwardly and inwardly, has been one of the most powerful thought processes I have ever discovered.

At this phase of my growth, there are still things I feel woefully deficient in, but I have identified these things and have consciously and deliberately chosen to be that which I want to become in spite of the current "reality"... To "be the solution", if you will, instead of to find the solution.

 

[Urbanyst]

The edge we have, though, is that if we delusionally think we have high value, with knowledge and awareness that we are purposely deluding ourselves in order to become that which we are thinking about, we start to become high value.

I was miserably low value and confused when I first came here. I have learned that if I act "as if", in any arena of life, I eventually become that which I want to be. It involves completely and utterly ignoring the reality of present circumstances and just acting as if things were different. It takes practice to be able to detach from "reality" like that.

When we feel worthless or low-value, we are delusional because of course no one is worthless. When we feel "high value" before we are, we are also being delusional. Why not delude oneself in the positive direction?

Detaching from the reality of my circumstances (or even my current state of growth) and just playing the part both outwardly and inwardly, has been one of the most powerful thought processes I have ever discovered.

At this phase of my growth, there are still things I feel woefully deficient in, but I have identified these things and have consciously and deliberately chosen to be that which I want to become in spite of the current "reality"... To "be the solution", if you will, instead of to find the solution.

Right on.

Don't dress for the job you have. Dress for the job you want. You are what you act like.

I think I'm a high value stud. Therefore I act like one. Therefore everyone believes I am. Therefore hot women come onto me. Therefore it becomes the truth. I'm a high value stud.