Value and Self-respect

[tick37]

Since coming to this site I've learned a lot. Thanks to a some people like KontrollerX, MacAvoy, reset, Pook and others.

I've learned that women will not respect a man that does not respect himself. What I mean by this is that they test you to see how far they can go with it. If you don't act in a self-respecting manner, then they know exactly what type of man they've got. They may not even think about it, but they know it subconsciously. Once you've started allowing (allowing is the key word) these women to disrespect you in any form, then the love and respect they had for you will slowly disappear. They love and respect you only when you do.

If a woman does something you don't like and you say something similar to "You hurt me when you do that," you're basically saying, "I'm not good enough". "I'm not good enough" statements are how we disrespect ourselves. So, start telling them you won't put up with it. Start putting your foot down regardless of the outcome.

When you're out there and you're dating or whatever, you have to find value in yourself. You have to love yourself enough to not let a woman treat you wrong. If you react to a woman who is sh1t testing you, or just giving you sh1t, in a manner that shows self-respect, value, and self-love, she'll be shocked. More than likely, she'll feel bad because you value yourself, and she'll probably start believe you have value, too.

All issues in human relationships pretty much boils down to whether you love and respect yourself. If you don't, who else will?

 

[RAFCToMackStatus]

Preach

 

[Bussey]

Preach

Now theres a first post to be proud of lol.:rock:



Tick, its all about realizing your self worth and that supplication is not the way to earn respect. If you want to make a positive impact on your life and dating... better yourself, take care of yourself, improve your mindsets.

Ignore techniques and lines/gambits. Work on yourself instead.

 

[Rumpelstiltskin]

All issues in human relationships pretty much boils down to whether you love and respect yourself. If you don't, who else will?

Welll, I like your attitude, but I'm going to preface that statement with, "you have to be lovable and respectable".

Some people want to be loved and respected and deserve neither.

 

[xdreamz]

i mean what can you do..they value only what values themselves.


that is basically all it is, when you lose sense of your own value is when the overt niceness begins. a fake pleasing manner which totally contradicts itself. not only women, but society in general despises it but its how its supposed to be.

you can start off by trying to control yourself, hold back what first comes into your mind but what the other person is conveying in spirit. then you will learn that respect comes from wisdom and understanding of human nature. next, say and act close to what you truly feel about someone and make sure your actions are congruent to what you are. forget about yourself for the moment.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Sometimes the problem is to know when "to put your foot down".

 

[Technical1]

I've learned that women will not respect a man that does not respect himself. What I mean by this is that they test you to see how far they can go with it. If you don't act in a self-respecting manner, then they know exactly what type of man they've got.

Women know so well, or the smart ones anyway, to recognize who is the inner pvss and who is inwardly strong. Its amazing frankly, how strong a nose they have for inner weakness. They are like the drug-sniffing dogs at airports, they let you know the weakness of your inner game without even being asked.

Maybe we should applaud them for it as they are in this way the ultimate self-betterment tool. Whats also interesting is that, during the times in my life when I was inwardly weak due to self-limiting self-judgmental views, I felt and acted like many women do: chased societal approval, sought attention, sought validation, doubted myself, was sort of a quiet sex-addict who was scared of his sexuality (many shy women's conundrum, as I see it), and suffered all the problems that come from insecurity and vacillating emotions. Now I understand why a woman would never want to be together with a woman, why she values a man. Its her rock and her stability. I sure need a man in my life to keep things together– namely myself! When I didn't have a man in my life, i.e. before I manned up, everything was sh1t!

If a woman does something you don't like.... start telling them you won't put up with it. Start putting your foot down regardless of the outcome.

I'm at the point where I'm going to sarge and sarge and plow and plow without thought of LTR, so I don't plan on letting it get to the point where women can piss me off. If you let them piss you off, you're asking something of them besides sex. Sex? Yes or no. Getting stressed out because she flakes or flirts around or subtly insults me? Thats giving her some pretty damn-near LTR-level importance. This bit of theory isn't field-tested, but I've made a decision that, so far as it stands in my power, I'm never going to get bummed or mad or excited over pvssy again. Easier said than done perhaps, but seriously, what women is worth YET ANOTHER moment of misspent life? I was down too long to let them get me down again. I'm never going back down to the (emotional) basement.

More than likely, she'll feel bad because you value yourself, and she'll probably start believe you have value, too.

This is the I-refused-to-deal-with-her-sh1t-and-now-shes-supplicating-to-me phenomenon.

All issues in human relationships pretty much boils down to whether you love and respect yourself. If you don't, who else will?

I think that is 80% of SoSuave's message, combined with a bit of female psychology ala Rollo Tomassi (to help you unplug from the matrix), and 10% actual techniques, gives you the essence of the forum as I see it. The weird thing is, after realizing what this stuff can do for your life as regards making it more peaceful, consistent, harmonious, joyful, adventurefull, exciting and happy, I think one has to reach the conclusion which Pook also mentioned: its not even about the girls anymore. Know what I mean?

 

[tick37]

Sometimes the problem is to know when "to put your foot down".

You put your foot down when she does something to you in a disrespectful manner (this is what you have to decide because she's not going to tell you). If she does something that screams out that she must not value you, then put your foot down because how could she do it if she did value you? When you put your foot down, you don't have to be mean or loud, just tell her what you think and back off.

 

[Tenzen]

ya i'm in a situation where i have to put my foot down, but i just feel like its a weakness to tell her that she did something that isn't right because she thinks everythings ok. hmm not sure how to word it to her that she is giving someone else more attention although shes my gf. Putting your foot down, how serious would you be in doing that, destroying the relationship or just telling her how it is and if she doesn't like it walk away.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Women need to be told "no", even when it seems counterintuitive to your own interests. Saying NO just to say it isn't the point, the point is to establish and remind her of who controls the frame. If it's an overt NO then you come off as an a-hole, but when it's delivered with timing, subtlety and covertly then it's a reminder of your being in control of the frame. The intent isn't to be controlling, it's to be reassuring of your confidence.

 

[penkitten]

good topic

 

[tick37]

ya i'm in a situation where i have to put my foot down, but i just feel like its a weakness to tell her that she did something that isn't right because she thinks everythings ok. hmm not sure how to word it to her that she is giving someone else more attention although shes my gf. Putting your foot down, how serious would you be in doing that, destroying the relationship or just telling her how it is and if she doesn't like it walk away.

You can't keep a woman by being weak and not being seen as man that can stand alone. It's that willingness to walk away at anytime that keeps her because if you can't stand alone, you aren't ready to even be in a relationship. It's the respect for her freedom and allowing her to be with you because it's her desire that will keep a woman interested. If she's doing things you don't like, and you don't stand up for yourself, she will know. She WILL walk on you because she has realized that she has become the catch, and you don't believe in yourself to know that you are the catch. You can't force a woman to be with you by being nice, buying gifts, or pity. A loving relationship has to be free. Once it's forced by one or the other, it slowly dies, but you HAVE to love yourself more than the other person. If you don't love yourself, you aren't going to be able to be in a relationship.

 

[mackdaddy27]

Preach

preach on brother

 

[woods]

ya i'm in a situation where i have to put my foot down, but i just feel like its a weakness to tell her that she did something that isn't right because she thinks everythings ok. hmm not sure how to word it to her that she is giving someone else more attention although shes my gf. Putting your foot down, how serious would you be in doing that, destroying the relationship or just telling her how it is and if she doesn't like it walk away.

The first step in not being AFC, is not being afraid to put your foot down.
I learned the hard way. I haven't been in an LTR since I found this site, so I guess I will say HOPEFULLY I learned my lesson, the hard way. Girls only respect real men, and real men will put their found down. Be firm, but dont freak out. It's a bluffing game anyway. Even chicks will admit that they NEED their man to keep them in line. You have to be her daddy. If you let her get away with shyt, she will be a spoiled ***** who walks all over you. If you're too harsh, she will run away from home. YOU ARE THE PRIZE. She needs to treat you accordingly.