Valentine’s Day Tips

[runner83]

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2011/02/11/valentines-day-tips/

February 11, 2011 by Chateau

A reader sent in this most excellent compendium of game tips.

1. Ditch the cologne, a tiny bit of ladies’ perfume on the neck is the way to go. (Make sure you hug her close!) You could also put lipstick on your collar, but less is more- it has to be barely perceptible to work.


2. If you’ll be with her in a not-too-noisy venue and it’s late at night (after 11pm or so) have your phone’s alarm feature set up to ring several times at random. The hamster will wonder who the **** is trying to get a hold you at this hour. Change the subject when she asks who’s calling.

Extra points for mixing up the ringtones.

(I did this once not expecting to get it in the same night and my phone kept vibrating on the nightstand while she was riding me cowgirl- I swear I could feel her getting wetter and wetter with every “call” that came in.


3. When your body language, eye contact, etc. is solid, you can get away with ANYTHING. I’ve closed a girl having inviting her to a Warcraft LAN party and telling her how hot she’d look in a chainmail bikini. This is contrast game (Omega game?) and only works if she knows you’re joking and everythig else is congruently Alpha. I believe it’s the peacocking principle at work, though I need to experiment with it some more…


4. Remind her how Beta the other guys in the room are. I love telling a girl in a venue how thirsty I am and asking if she’ll fish me a gin and tonic off the two nerds at the end of the bar. There are all sorts of subtle ways to DLV your competition, get creative!


5. Never miss an opportunity to grab her hair and give it a good tug- she’ll let you do it waaay sooner in the interaction than societal norms would suggest, (about 15 seconds in if you’re dirty dancing.)


6. Act aroused by her **** tests. The whole “You’re so hot when you’re being *****y” mentality makes her resistance self-defeating. Even better if you’re funny about it.


7. When ****-tested via text message, reply with an ascii penis. [Ed: It looks like this: 8==>. Or this, if you're a host of the Chateau: 8=======================>] Hasn’t failed me yet and its cheaper than sending picture messages of the real thing.


8. Anything that attracts attention to your crotch is a good thing, eye-catching and unusual belt buckles are good. When you catch her glancing down you can remind her that it’s not going to suck itself.


9. And finally – My all time super duper favorite-ist opener in the whoooole wide world:

“Did you just grab my ass?”

And no, she doesn’t have to be standing behind you for it to work, you can walk clear across the room and spit this. (My inspiration for that one came from the club owner in Night at the Roxbury)

Caveat Emptor: these are all situational and can backfire if applied incorrectly. Know your prey and calibrate! #1 and #2 are best reserved for the divas who are on the fence about you

A final thought- once you have a basic competency in game, the only way to keep growing is to start tailoring your style to match your personality and strengths and have fun with it. A cheeky/playful Austin Powers vibe does wonders for me, not exactly your boilerplate stoic Alpha was he?

Feel free to use all or part of this for your blog, as a former pedastalizer myself, I have tremendous empathy for my beta bros sloggin it out in the trenches.

Your truly,

-Marshy

The force is strong in this one. #1 and #7 are especially good.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Runner,
Very amusing Post.....I confess to having used Womens Perfume for years...The Parfumiers have lost the plot when it comes to Mens Colognes,their expensive offerings,often smell like Thinners...Be aware that if you are Gaming Asian Ladies,they are super sensitive to our body aromas,odours we can barely discern are highly offensive to them...As to turning up to Social venues after having a little fling,I remember joining a mixed Table of Dancers some time ago,and I wore the tell tale signs of debauchery....a ribald call was heard,"Scarra looks like he he's just left a Whoores Bedroom"a riposte came "Naah Scarra don't pay for it"laughter all round,but the Girls seemed somewhat embarrassed,looked at me kind of strange,as to it having some sort of aphrodisiacal effect,No definitely not.

 

[Evzone]

The guy comes off as a tool sometimes, but he does make a lot of good points.

 

[KarmaSutra]

The guy comes off as a tool sometimes...

I agree.

Example #1:

"Scarra looks like he he's just left-"

Seriously? Can't spell your own fvcking moniker and you're giving advice to men-in-training?

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Karma, where do you get off talking **** about everybody, especially your elders? You leave Scara alone. You are a slanderer; your candor betrays a weak character, and a loser mentality. Be gone, your thoughts are a detriment to this forum.

And the poster was obviously refering to Roissy as a "tool", not Scara. But you leapt all over any chance to criticize someone else. Scara is more qualified to give advice than probably anybody here, his experience is an invaluable asset to this forum. His advice will be taken over any negative bs you have to say ANYDAY.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Your desperation for little green dots is alarmingly similar of the rest of the he-b!tches.

No one here is an "elder". That's a stigma you place on yourself.

Let's try it this way:

Dear OrangeJulius,

How I woefully and whimsically wish you were here to defend my precious honor from those who know nothing of servitude and bland piety. Dear OrangeJulius, Oh Dear OrangeJulius, how thine heart ache's and my balls break under the scrutiny of those truly masculine fellows.

My dearest OrangeJulius, I need thine aid in attaining that most holy in the world of the Dear Don Juan; That elusive jade orb nestled, as if to a newborn Mother's breast, under thine name which even I cannot spell correctly.

With love and affection and my utter devotion,
Scarra

How's that Capt'n scarr-a-douche?

 

[SamTheHobit]

How come I only have one green dot.. Wtf?

 

[zekko]

The guy comes off as a tool sometimes, but he does make a lot of good points.

I've got to agree. Like you say, Roissy has some good ideas, but he comes across like he has some real issues and an attitude problem.

An ascii penis? How juvenile can you get? At least he wasn't advising sending a pic of the real thing.
Otherwise we'd know where Brett Favre's been getting his ideas.

 

[Colossus]

Roissy has some good game tips, but most of them are geared towards being a player. In other words, I wouldn't take relationship advice from the guy.

 

[runner83]

Roissy has some good game tips, but most of them are geared towards being a player. In other words, I wouldn't take relationship advice from the guy.

I agree, but good for entertainment value.

Who else reported Kama Sutra's post?

 

[Romjuan]

Wow, does anyone else think that list is pathetic??
"remind her how beta other guys in the room are"??? "put lipstick and purfume on"? "make your alarm go off to make her think someones calling you?"

This is the most beta stuff I have seen. I would feel like a loser if I had to do these things. I believe in a lil bit of game playing but these things seem a lil extreme and very pathetic to do. If she ever catchs you doing these things you will be laughed at hard.

 

[FairShake]

Roissy is meant to entertain. Nobody with any smarts would actually DO this sh!t. It's just exaggeration as entertainment.

Although I have read Roissy's comments before and I think there are some virgins who do this sh!t.

 

[Serialized3]

Roissy 2007-2009(ish) was gold.

Now he just comes off as a racist misogynist. I doubt he puts work into the field much anymore. Probably too busy putting canned food and munitions into his 2012 fallout bunker.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Karma,
I was with Gurkhas in North Queensland,they were training in Jungle warfare,before going to Borneo,probably about the time your Mother was leaving Primary School....interesting,whilst no one would question their fighting capacity and toughness,they were mostly Homo Sexual while absent from their villages,yet according to their British Officers resumed perfectly normal Svex lifes on returning to their homes.