Using Facebook

[ghandi_mojo]

Hi, I developed a huge crush on a girl at a restaurant I used to go to. We talked a few times and flirted a bit. I came back another time with the full intention of asking her out or at the very least getting a number, but I found that she desnt work there anymore. I only knew her first name and where she worked so I was a bit disappointed to learn that. I did eventually find her on facebook but Im worried that approaching a chick this way might be a little, well...creepy. I know its the only way I can get to know this girl, but Im not so sure how to go about it without coming across as some stalker. Anyone have some advice about how to use facebook to get in contact with her or maybe Ive answered my own question. Should I just tell her I wanted to ask her out but can only find her on facebook? Opinions anyone?

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Yeah that's basically your only option. It does come off as a little creepy but if you're lucky (or if she's attracted enough) it could come off as "persistent".

Look at it this way: if you never contact her again, you 100% don't get the girl. If you try contacting her through FB, there's a possible 90% chance you don't get the girl. Go with the option that gives you at least some chance of success, you have literally nothing to lose and nothing invested in this.

 

[ghandi_mojo]

I know I have nothing to lose in this by trying, and Im not invested at all. But I am not sure how to actually approach her on FB. I want to minimize the creep factor and not depend on luck. There is also an age difference here; shes 22 and Im 30. Coming out and asking her for a date right off the bat doesnt seem like proper etiquette for FB. Maybe Im wrong but thats why Im here. Thanks.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

The correct path is somewhere in between. You don't want to add her and then mask your intentions, pretending to be her platonic buddy before suddenly dropping the hammer out of nowhere; but I wouldn't come right out and ask her for a date either.

Just send her a message, you don't even need to add her as a friend to do that. Let her know you heard she doesn't work at the restaurant anymore and ask her if she wants to get lunch or something one day. Don't call it a date, for christ's sake. Then that date is your opportunity to prove you're not a creepy FB stalker, you're a normal guy, and you can just # close at the end. If it went well, and she agrees to a 2nd meeting, it should be pretty easy to escalate from there. This one's easy man.