Using an SSRI anti-depressant to treat jealousy?

[DJorBUST]

I am trying to recover from yet another case of one-itis by distancing myself and pursuing two other women (spinning plates). Unfortunately one of the plates (almost an HB9) just flaked this weekend after I asked her on a date. The other plate is definitely interested and somewhat attractive, but my interest in her is pretty diminished because I'm always comparing with the one-itis I'm trying to get over.

Anyways, the point of this thread is that I get into these obsessional patterns with women I really get into. I check my cell for messages or missed calls too often. I think about these bizarre scenarios of why they haven't called back or answered my text messages. These scenarios often involve them with other men or going over all of the things that occured in our prior conversations or dates that might make her want to ignore me. Usually my fears are unfounded and the paranoia resolves and then this obsessional thinking and behavior recurs. It's not usually so bad that I am calling the girl too often or making her aware of it. It just drives me crazy and takes up too much of my attention span and I think it fosters an addiction to her presence and contact. The behavior is somewhat OCD in its nature.

So, I was reading a biopsychiatry journal article online:
http://www.priory.com/psychiatry/Morbid_Jealousy.htm

Tarrier (1990) also described non-psychotic jealousy and likened jealous thoughts to obsessions, being intrusive, unpleasant, irrational and accompanied by behavioral actions like checking or reassurance seeking [4]. The preoccupation, confirmatory behavior, avoidance, distress and rumination described in non psychotic cases was suggestive of obsessions and responded to behavioral strategies commonly used in OCD. Dolan and Bishay (1996) used cognitive behavioral strategies to treat 30 patients of non-psychotic morbid jealousy and reported significant improvement in all jealousy measures, although they did not specify whether the patients were obsessive [10].Since the arrival of antiobsesional drugs in the scene, several authors have described cases of obsessional jealousy showing good response to SSRI and clomipramine."

It's interesting that these intrusive and obsessional thoughts and patterns of behavior respond to the same medication that treat OCD (which is characterized by intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors to remove anxiety).

Has anybody had any experience with these patterns of behavior? I was thinking of starting myself on fluoxetine at a low dose and seeing if it helps diminish this thought pattern (I've finished a medical degree, so don't worry about the educating me about drug side-effects).

 

[Obsidian]

Bah, I'm not a big advocate of drugs. We're an overmedicated society, and drugs are just the easy way out for people -- and easy paths don't always work in the long run!

Desensitize yourself to the anxiety, spin additional plates to prevent obsession, and read the Book of Pook! If you were pursuing multiple women and also YOUR OWN PASSIONS, you would be less likely to obsess.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It sounds more like you have half a plate than "plates."

Are you a neat freak? My ex has ocd and the cleanest apartment I've ever seen.

If you have OCD, Paxil can treat it, but it's only worth it if the ocd is keeping you from living a normal life. People with ocd spend their lives cleaning, organizing, or obsessing on their hobbies. I doubt you have ocd. A little jealousy is normal. A lot of jealousy is normal for the afc times in your life.

 

[honeyshark]

Hello DJorBUST,

I think medicating yourself for jealousy is a horrible idea. Firstly, all of the behaviors you describe are within the normal scope of human behavior.

If you just recently finished a medical degree, then you know the pitfalls of self-diagnosis, especially when it comes to psychological problems. You also know that decreased libido is a possible side effect of your proposed medication.

If you overcome this problem using Prozac, you will be forced to use the drug all the time when interacting with women. If you overcome the problem with psychological but non-pharmacological techniques, you will solve it permanently.

From my experience antidepressants often treat depression and other mental health problems by taking away a person's emotional states. That is to say, the person doesn't really have strong feelings. This "cures" depression by muting a person's personality. That's not going to help your game. That's just my experience though.

Although pills seem to be an easy remedy, facing your fears and handling them will be better for you in the long run.

Peace.

 

[Play the Game]

Nothin' a couple shots of the Captain can't fix.

 

[Suverenia]

You can medicate yourself out of jealousy, but you don't get rid of the problem. Once you have stopped taking SSRI, you will return to the one you have tried to escape.

Waste of time! There is a lot of books and data on the net about how to handle jalousy... read and learn, and eventually you will be able to master your self-destructive feelings. That article you've found is only interesting because it shows some connection between serotonin-reuptake inhibition and jealousy. Don't look at it as a miracle, but rather as a way to find out how jealousy works biologically. That won't solve your problem, only put it away for a while.

Good luck.

 

[KontrollerX]

Don't self diagnose no matter how much experience you have.

Its impossible to be 100% objective when evaluating yourself.

 

[Telos]

Man, I've been there. You are experiencing something that I have gone through a million times. In fact, I think that most of us here have been through this sort of thing at some point in life. I know exactly what you are talking about, and it SUCKS.

It is said that the more you cant have something, the more you crave it. If I had to make a guess, I would think that you probably had a dry past with respect to attractive women (like a lot of us here) and that you might feel a little insecure (also, like a lot of us here).

This girl is a scarce resource to you, and you don't want to lose her. The thought of such probably makes you sick. I know how it feels. I was the same way just a few months back.

But, you need to GET OVER IT. You don't need medication. You're not abnormal. You need MORE WOMEN. The most healthy thing you can do right now is to GET OUT. You need to spin more plates and kill your unhealthy infatuation with this girl. She is NOT THE ONE.

 

[Holland]

Fuuck drugs, handle your issues like a man.
What are you?

 

[everywomanshero]

Dude, there probably aren't too many psychiatrists on this forum. I generally find when people consider medication, it's rarely about any one single issue & there is often other factors involved that we won't have any knowledge of..

Bottom Line: If you want medical advice, you need to consult the best person for the job, in this case a psychiatrist or at least an MD if that's not possible.

 

[DJVladdy]

What psychiatrist? What MD?

Like the other guy said, do not take anti-depressants and deal with your issues head-on.

From personal experience: choose your favorite make-me-feel-good drug. And find ways to obtain it. Ive tried alcohol, toobacco, vicodin, amphetamine. If you just want that good feeling when ur feeling a little down, consider one of those. Of course try not to use regularly and dont depend on them

 

[DJorBUST]

I'll put off starting the SSRI and try to spin some more plates (real plates). The problem with these plates is that they're not always as attractive and I don't even have 1/10th of the interest in them that I have in this girl. They divert my attention while I'm on a date with them and maybe immediately afterwards, but I'm right back to thinking about the other girl when it's over.

It really is getting to the point where I'm distracted at work.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Has anybody had any experience with these patterns of behavior? I was thinking of starting myself on fluoxetine at a low dose and seeing if it helps diminish this thought pattern (I've finished a medical degree, so don't worry about the educating me about drug side-effects).

Out of curiosity, what treatments did you try prior to choosing this course and what were their outcomes?

 

[DJorBUST]

I didnt try anything too involved. I approached several other women and number closed a HB9 and went on one date with her (she flaked on the second date). I also number closed another HB7-8 asian girl and I have gone on a date with her and have another one next weekend. I have also tried to push these intrusive thoughts about this one-itis out of my head everytime they appear and resist the temptation to look at my phone or check my messages except if I'm on a break. Its hard because I'll just be sitting there at work and I'll all of a sudden start day dreaming about this girl and won't even be consciously aware of it to the point where I can stop the thought and move my attention to something else.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So what's your concern about trying something a bit more involved?

 

[DJorBUST]

I don't necessarily have a concern. Can you be more specific on what I should try? It seems like most of my searches come up with threads simply suggesting I forget about the ***** and spin more and more plates. Anything more novel that isn't common sense?

My will power can only do so much to control my thinking. I can manage to control my thoughts when I'm working on it actively, but when I'm just sitting there working on something I get these random obsessive thoughts.

I know I will get over her with time. I've had this problem before with another woman and it was pretty bad back then. I was just looking for ways to expedite my freedom from this mental prison.

 

[Telos]

I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but it sounds very much like you live within your mind far more than you actually live within the PRESENT MOMENT.

I can tell by the way you type that you are far more logical than you are emotional. You need to loosen up man!

For one, you have a medical degree. Unless you are a ****ing genius, you probably earned that through hours of obsessive hard work and complete isolation.

I'm sure you are very familiar with being cut off from the rest of the world... and probably very comfortable with it, if I am reading you right. It's this comfort with isolation that is probably going to continue to be your demise.

I know it was mine for the longest time.

When you are at work, HIDE your phone from yourself. Place it in a drawer and put it on silent mode. F*cking turn it off if you have to. After work: GET OUT. Do some CONSISTENT physical activity to keep your energy levels up. You need to try as hard as you can to focus on YOURSELF more than any other individual.

One girl should never get to you like this. YOU are the great catch. YOU hold all of the power.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I don't necessarily have a concern. Can you be more specific on what I should try? It seems like most of my searches come up with threads simply suggesting I forget about the ***** and spin more and more plates. Anything more novel that isn't common sense?

My will power can only do so much to control my thinking. I can manage to control my thoughts when I'm working on it actively, but when I'm just sitting there working on something I get these random obsessive thoughts.

I know I will get over her with time. I've had this problem before with another woman and it was pretty bad back then. I was just looking for ways to expedite my freedom from this mental prison.

I'll guess that you do this in other experiences in your life besides women, that's probably why spinning plates doesn't seem like a viable option. Will power falls into the same category. In your case it's just a temporary mask for the symptoms you are having; it cannot be considered a viable cure.

Which brings up your metaphor of escaping a mental prison. Inmates who escape the confines of a prison are still held captive by the fear of getting caught. Whether confined within the prison walls or fleeing authority, is he truly free?

I suggest considering looking at your situation from a couple of different angles. You pointed out jealousy, ever figure out exactly why you get jealous? I've seen that many times jealousy is a symptom of a challenged level of self esteem. This could also feed your particular compulsive obsessions. What do you think?

 

[DJorBUST]

Well, I'm sure much of this stems from self-esteem problems. I wouldn't say my self-esteem is especially poor though. I am fairly social, have achieved quite a bit in life and have held multiple leadership positions and given dozens of speeches in front of large crowds without a problem. It's just with certain women they put in a position of weakness and do their own push-pull and play on any existing insecurities that don't come out in other realms of my life.

 

[Holland]

Fuuck spinning plates for the sake of spinning plates to make you feel better.
You're pathetic. You don't need anything external to feel good accept your mind, oxygen, food, water and perhaps some shelter. Stop putting power in things outside of yourself. Get rid of your BS programming and start empowering yourself.
You spin plates because you want to, not because you need to.
Calm down and get centered.