used the techniques, succeeded, screwed it up within 2 days

[exAFC4me]

ok so first time post cuz sh|t, this stuff works, but i definitely haven't mastered the material.

so here's my sitch:
HB8, had a slight crush on last year, afc stylins, never did anything about it. this year, she moved into my building, giving me ample opportunity to work it. we were friends for a few months, but i didnt stop by her place all the time or call or message her, but we'd party together and hang out once in a while. so then i found this site and masf like a month ago which totally opened my eyes. i had one-itis bad, so i started to diversify, talk to more girls, and get numbers. well, sure enough, she noticed the change, and whenever i saw her i applied kino, made sure there was a sexual aura around me, and she was doe-eyed and brushing up against me, kissed me quick on the lips a few weeks ago.

then this past friday, we went to a party together, i kind of did my own thing and socialized, they ran out of beer so i told HB8 to walk with me to the pub to get more. it was just before 2 so i knew we wouldn't make it (oops!), so when we got there i suggested we go back to my place cuz i had wine. get back to my place, we're making out within 5 minutes. so far so good. i get her down to panties but she's like 'well i'm glad we got rid of that sexual tension.', 'don't think im gonna sleep with u' but she was also saying, where is this going to go from here, what's gonna happen now, (she at one point mentioned ****buddies) this is weird, we're friends, etc. i didnt push the sex issue because we were up til 6am and i figured it would happen again and i'd have another chance soon.

wrong.

i message her on sunday (why????) and she comes over to 'bring me chapstick' because i insinuated that she had sucked all the moisture from my lips (she had). she comes over, and is very weird and akward, i was disarmed and it made me slightly uneasy (wrong again!). we small talked a bit and she brought up the 'what do we do now' question. i figured that she was nervous and liked me and wanted some kind of relationship, but i said, i dont know, what do you want (shouldn't have said that) and then suggested that we just see what happens.

see her yesterday in passing, she wants to talk to me for a minute. 'hey, i thought more about our situation, and i think its best that we forget what happened. i dont want to ruin our friendship (BARF) and i dont think, seeing as how you're leaving school in 6 months, we should have a serious relationship. i dont want something in between, because that will suck for both of us.' i pretty much mumbled my way through the whole thing, was like, yeah, i guess you're right, etc.

then when i got back home i was really pissed off and upset so i went down to her place and was like, when you said you wanted to forget what happened, i was caught off guard and i kind of realized that i lied. i do want a relationship, and if we cant have that, i dont think we can be friends. this was hard for me to say, but i said it. then she starts talking and eventually gets all teary and i kind of get upset too... and within a few minutes we're just hanging out and talking and having a good time.

so now its like, do i become better friends with her, do i completely cut her off, or what? becoming better friends would be fine but if she starts hookin up with other guys or gets a boyfriend, i'll be hurt. i do think there's still the possibility that i can bag her if i play my cards right, but what are my cards, and how do i play them??

 

[coin]

You still have oneitis for her?

 

[NewMan]

You both like each other it's obvious...

It sounds like she's just weary because you will be leaving in 6 months.

I think you need to take the lead here - keep doing what your doing - go out with her party have fun and it will happen.

Bag her, or leave her.

 

[sql]

it sounds to me that you dont know what you want. or at least you didnt make that very clear in your post (to me at least). you first need to qualify her, and meditate about what you want out of your relationship to her. it seems you're stuck between wanting to be more and nexting her or something. imho, you need to have this stuff worked out before you ever get to that "what do we do now" part. at that point i think you should have stated exactly what you wanted from her and taken a stand instead of letting her do the talking. but thats ok, as it could have gone worse i suppose.

i think shes waiting on you to make a move - shes waiting to see if you're going to sweep her off her feet. a woman tries most desperately to rationalize her emotions, and that can work either to your advantage or not, so dont try to read too much into her wierd ********.

if you dont care and want to next her, then let her know you're ok with being friends and dont make such a big fuss about it.

but if you want to be more than friends and wanna take her seriously, thats gonna be a decision you need to take responsibility for. it sounds to me that shes ok with going for the long haul, she just doesnt know what's going on in your head. if you want to keep her then you tell her that you think shes great and you'd like to see her more, and work on getting to the next level. your leverage here is that you havnt told her you like her enough that you want to give everything up for her. and be honest. you dont.

if you wanna be f*k buddies, you gotta be ready to let her do her thing. and you do yours. i dont think this is what shes willing to go for though, because she said "it would suck for both of us". i'd take that to mean she'd be unhappy and therfore unwilling. thing is, its possible to get her to eat her words, but it's no easy task, and sadly, i cant help you there.

just 2 cents


edit: oops, i didnt make myself clear enough when i type "if you're ok with being friends"

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

never become a friend with a girl u like - this has been said a thousand times - read the dj bible!!!!!

 

[exAFC4me]

well, what i want essentially is a relationship of some kind, be it casual dating or serious dating. At this point I'm definitely going to go out and actively pursue other girls, because, well, you should always be doing that. I don't want to stop seeing her completely, so i will be her friend, but i'm going to maintain the sexual tension, not let her talk about her emotions, keep the kino and limit contact to a few times a week, mostly with her initiation.

You are right about the fact that girls rationalize things to death-- her friend told me she had been changing her mind all weekend, and she told me she had been thinking about it a lot. What she rationalized, more specifically, was that if she 'had to think about it and rationalize it so much, then it wasn't meant to be.' So that became the basis of her decision. Of course, we all know that when it comes down to it, these rational decisions mean little when you properly engage the more primitive and emotional parts of her brain.

The problem with nexting her here
is that we've been friends for a while, and if there's absolutely no chance of me getting with her, i'd rather be friends than nothing at all. But by being friends I may diminish any chances of getting with her again.

 

[seulaxplaya]

learn from your mistakes. if u learn from ur mistakes it becomes a lesson and not a mistake. A mistake is when u do not learn from what happened

 

[sql]

Originally posted by exAFC4me

The problem with nexting her here
is that we've been friends for a while, and if there's absolutely no chance of me getting with her, i'd rather be friends than nothing at all. But by being friends I may diminish any chances of getting with her again.

if you've crossed that friends like then you're actually in like a friend/f*ck buddy limbo. its a bit easier to wade in an out of this area, but you have to act and not speak so much i think. next-ting her tho doesnt mean cutting her out of your life completely, just means you're not considering her as a potential mate.. and i see nothing wrong with that either.

oh and if you wanna compare rationalizing, remember romeo and juliet - juliet had plenty to rationalize and it was still meant to be with them.

keep doin what you do, but dont get attached.

goot luck

 

[exAFC4me]

yes im going to learn, but what is the lesson? and just as importantly, what do i do now?

 

[exAFC4me]

thanks, that sounds good, its kind of the mode of thinking i've come to. she's mine eventually, whether she likes it or not.

 

[Bonhomme]

Pull back a bit

Then when you do get in contact, play it cool, but be fun.

Let the awkwardness fade, and give her some new good impressions to attach to you.

If she was attracted, and you didn't totally turn her off, there still can be enough potential to re-ignite it.

I've had that kind of thing happen before.