Urgently need input from our experienced DJs

[Theoneaboveall]

Hey guys,I need your input as I have been feeling confused and sad for quite some time.
About me- I am tall and good looking,but due to my open personality I make a lot of enemies. I am 22 year old and in first year of a five year long course.The year is about to end.
The story- During the first four months I got a propose from arguably the hottest girl of our class,and even though I was unhappy with my life(don't know why) I started dating her and got into a relationship pretty quickly.We both were each others first everything,lost virginities to each other and so on.
The problem-After the first month of our relationship I started having anxiety because of her as I felt I wasn't her priority and she may cheat on me.Also,her male best friends who are pretty popular are my sworn enemies so I had doubts that maybe she could be like them.So ,to deal with these emotions I told her I wanted a break to which she said she wants a break up.So I tried beta things by saying her to give me a chance and which she arrogantly dismissed many times.She also got pretty ill during this time,which I think was due to break up. So after a week I called her to an isolated place and said I want to be back,which she shot down,so I said all the best of luck with a smile and left,and that evening she said she wants to be back!! And we got back and the lockdown started.
During lockdown we had a fight and again broke up and I unfollowed her from all social media.
So now the classes have again started and it has been difficult for me. She also looks like she isn't doing well too. And lately her male friends have filled her head with vile things about me. I have been acting totally normal Infront of her.


So,I wanted to know what should I do now?
Also,keep in mind there are very few dating options around me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You should work on yourself. You aren't happy with yourself so you feel that she won't be happy with you either and you aren't good enough for her. You are very insecure it is apparent to me.

All of these things are coming from your own mind. However, when you believe these things your subconscious mind will do everything it can to ensure this becomes true.

Stop seeking validation from others and learn to love yourself. Until that happens it doesn't matter who you date the same issues will occur after a time period.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

You should work on yourself. You aren't happy with yourself so you feel that she won't be happy with you either and you aren't good enough for her. You are very insecure it is apparent to me.

All of these things are coming from your own mind. However, when you believe these things your subconscious mind will do everything it can to ensure this becomes true.

Stop seeking validation from others and learn to love yourself. Until that happens it doesn't matter who you date the same issues will occur after a time period.

I second this man. If YOU have those feelings of worry and anxiety, imagine how you come off to others. Remember, POWER is the degree in which YOU control YOUR own life. Don't let anyone else dictate your emotions. YOU can't control the things around you, but YOU get to decide how you react to them.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I second this man. If YOU have those feelings of worry and anxiety, imagine how you come off to others. Remember, POWER is the degree in which YOU control YOUR own life. Don't let anyone else dictate your emotions. YOU can't control the things around you, but YOU get to decide how you react to them.

Also remember that women test guys for things like emotional strength and if this is your reaction to these tests how can she feel comfortable knowing when her emotions are all over the place and she needs a rock to ground her that you might be even MORE all over the place emotionally??

Women don't want that. They want someone who they know is their north star that can help ground them. It helps make them feel safe and secure within a relationship.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Also remember that women test guys for things like emotional strength and if this is your reaction to these tests how can she feel comfortable knowing when her emotions are all over the place and she needs a rock to ground her that you might be even MORE all over the place emotionally??

Women don't want that. They want someone who they know is their north star that can help ground them. It helps make them feel safe and secure within a relationship.

Yes. Really good point here too.

 

[dude99]

Hey guys,I need your input as I have been feeling confused and sad for quite some time.
About me- I am tall and good looking,but due to my open personality I make a lot of enemies. I am 22 year old and in first year of a five year long course.The year is about to end.
The story- During the first four months I got a propose from arguably the hottest girl of our class,and even though I was unhappy with my life(don't know why) I started dating her and got into a relationship pretty quickly.We both were each others first everything,lost virginities to each other and so on.
The problem-After the first month of our relationship I started having anxiety because of her as I felt I wasn't her priority and she may cheat on me.Also,her male best friends who are pretty popular are my sworn enemies so I had doubts that maybe she could be like them.So ,to deal with these emotions I told her I wanted a break to which she said she wants a break up.So I tried beta things by saying her to give me a chance and which she arrogantly dismissed many times.She also got pretty ill during this time,which I think was due to break up. So after a week I called her to an isolated place and said I want to be back,which she shot down,so I said all the best of luck with a smile and left,and that evening she said she wants to be back!! And we got back and the lockdown started.
During lockdown we had a fight and again broke up and I unfollowed her from all social media.
So now the classes have again started and it has been difficult for me. She also looks like she isn't doing well too. And lately her male friends have filled her head with vile things about me. I have been acting totally normal Infront of her.


So,I wanted to know what should I do now?
Also,keep in mind there are very few dating options around me.

Time to move on and date new women. This relationship is full of headache and drama. Also you focusing all your energy on her shows her you dont have any other options. This will lower her attraction to you and you got to see it first hand with her as you called it "arrogant rejections."

Time to put time and effort into other woman. If she is being polluted by other people's opinions of you and not judging you by the persons she knows you to be then stop wasting time and effort chasing a girl who isn't mature enough to have a relationship. She is chasing drama. Not a relationship.

Ask yourself one question? Am i having fun? If the answer is no, move on.

 

[RickTheToad]

Hey guys,I need your input as I have been feeling confused and sad for quite some time.
About me- I am tall and good looking,but due to my open personality I make a lot of enemies. I am 22 year old and in first year of a five year long course.The year is about to end.
The story- During the first four months I got a propose from arguably the hottest girl of our class,and even though I was unhappy with my life(don't know why) I started dating her and got into a relationship pretty quickly.We both were each others first everything,lost virginities to each other and so on.
The problem-After the first month of our relationship I started having anxiety because of her as I felt I wasn't her priority and she may cheat on me.Also,her male best friends who are pretty popular are my sworn enemies so I had doubts that maybe she could be like them.So ,to deal with these emotions I told her I wanted a break to which she said she wants a break up.So I tried beta things by saying her to give me a chance and which she arrogantly dismissed many times.She also got pretty ill during this time,which I think was due to break up. So after a week I called her to an isolated place and said I want to be back,which she shot down,so I said all the best of luck with a smile and left,and that evening she said she wants to be back!! And we got back and the lockdown started.
During lockdown we had a fight and again broke up and I unfollowed her from all social media.
So now the classes have again started and it has been difficult for me. She also looks like she isn't doing well too. And lately her male friends have filled her head with vile things about me. I have been acting totally normal Infront of her.


So,I wanted to know what should I do now?
Also,keep in mind there are very few dating options around me.

Work on yourself and stop worrying about others. You need to find hobbies and a purpose in life. Trying to get her back by doing things in the hopes of rekindling interested if a futile task at best. You actually push her away more than bringing her back into your frame (which you do not have if you are acting like you are). Walk away, work on yourself and other opportunities will appear.

 

[bat soup]

Hey guys,I need your input as I have been feeling confused and sad for quite some time.
About me- I am tall and good looking,but due to my open personality I make a lot of enemies. I am 22 year old and in first year of a five year long course.The year is about to end.
The story- During the first four months I got a propose from arguably the hottest girl of our class,and even though I was unhappy with my life(don't know why) I started dating her and got into a relationship pretty quickly.We both were each others first everything,lost virginities to each other and so on.
The problem-After the first month of our relationship I started having anxiety because of her as I felt I wasn't her priority and she may cheat on me.Also,her male best friends who are pretty popular are my sworn enemies so I had doubts that maybe she could be like them.So ,to deal with these emotions I told her I wanted a break to which she said she wants a break up.So I tried beta things by saying her to give me a chance and which she arrogantly dismissed many times.She also got pretty ill during this time,which I think was due to break up. So after a week I called her to an isolated place and said I want to be back,which she shot down,so I said all the best of luck with a smile and left,and that evening she said she wants to be back!! And we got back and the lockdown started.
During lockdown we had a fight and again broke up and I unfollowed her from all social media.
So now the classes have again started and it has been difficult for me. She also looks like she isn't doing well too. And lately her male friends have filled her head with vile things about me. I have been acting totally normal Infront of her.


So,I wanted to know what should I do now?
Also,keep in mind there are very few dating options around me.

Tell her you want to bang

 

[Theoneaboveall]

Thank you so much guys for your output.But I feel guilty that I took her virginity and am now being like a stranger to her.So,has this happened to anyone and how did you deal with it?

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

So,I wanted to know what should I do now?
Also,keep in mind there are very few dating options around me.

keep in mind your only 22. You're gonna have lots of options and lots of girlfriends down the road. Don't get trapped into that mentality you gotta have a girl before all the good ones are gone or something. This chick won't be your girlfriend 5 yrs down the road even if you do get back together now. Once you hit your 30s you'll have your pick.
Patience grasshopper.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thank you so much guys for your output.But I feel guilty that I took her virginity and am now being like a stranger to her.So,has this happened to anyone and how did you deal with it?

Guilty about what exactly?

 

[Theoneaboveall]

Guilty about what exactly?

Guilty that I took her virginity and now am acting like a total stranger. I know it sounds stupid,I think it could be just because of social conditioning.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Guilty that I took her virginity and now am acting like a total stranger. I know it sounds stupid,I think it could be just because of social conditioning.

You didn't "take" anything. She chose to give it to you. Newsflash....women love sex as much or more then men do.

 

[Theoneaboveall]

You didn't "take" anything. She chose to give it to you. Newsflash....women love sex as much or more then men do.

Thanks,maybe I just wanted to hear this from an elder, and I really appreciate your fast replies.

 

[bat soup]

Thank you so much guys for your output.But I feel guilty that I took her virginity and am now being like a stranger to her.So,has this happened to anyone and how did you deal with it?

Who cares about her virginity? Unless you live in the Middle East, it's irrelevant.

 

[RangerMIke]

You are placing too much value on her, and not enough in yourself.

Get busy with self-improvement and think more about what you want, and not what any particular person can do for you.

Simply put... you can not control what others do or won't do for you. So attempting to manipulate people is frequently a waste of time.

Be the best person you can be, make an offer of your time, which is your most valuable asset, and if they come along then you are adding to your life. No amount of money will buy you a second of time, so don't invest time in anything that will not give you a decent return.

 

[Nycmfer]

Tell her you want to bang

Be cool. Relax. Don't lose your head. Never act desperate Stay confident. Dude, you're tall and good looking. She notices when chicks check you out. Those clowns are just jealous. Nothing I hate more than the weasles that say bad **** to her about you. Just be cool like Brad Pitt in Once Apon a time in Hollywood.

 

[Theoneaboveall]

Be cool. Relax. Don't lose your head. Never act desperate Stay confident. Dude, you're tall and good looking. She notices when chicks check you out. Those clowns are just jealous. Nothing I hate more than the weasles that say bad **** to her about you. Just be cool like Brad Pitt in Once Apon a time in Hollywood.

Thanks man,really appreciate your kind words.These are the things that hurt the most.We used to be so close when we were together,now she behaves like my sworn enemy.

 

[BadBoy89]

I feel guilty that I took her virginity and am now being like a stranger to her.So,has this happened to anyone and how did you deal with it?

If she wasn’t a virgin, would you feel guilty?

 

[Max Baker]

Thank you so much guys for your output.But I feel guilty that I took her virginity and am now being like a stranger to her.So,has this happened to anyone and how did you deal with it?

She willingly gave it to me and I loved it at the time. And i love it 20 years down the track. In fact I'm quite proud of it.

That's how you should look at it too. As others have said in here, worry about yourself, improve yourself and don't worry about theses broads too much. Get yourself right, set yourself up for the future and you will see they will flock to you.