Urgent

[rick6599]

Guys, I saw my "Main crush" picking up a guy in a club last nite. I accidentally passed by, and she made a joking "you ought to be shot" gesture. He took her to her home on a bycicle. I took a cab, and followed, watched the scene. Just some kissing and hugging outside, she did not let him in her house, and he took a cab. I wanted to email her this "Come on - you're not gonna **** that farmer - and if you went out with me - I'd take you home on a big motorcycle" Should I send this? This might be on the edge of stalking charges, thats why I ask...

 

[jakeyboy]

well, personally to me it sounds too desperate. you're going against the DJ rules! don't bother what she thinks about you remember? you're not supposed to worry if she likes you or not. and by sending her that message it shows her how desperate you were by actually following her home and observing her with this guy. let her think that you have too many other women in your life to be bothered by her little mini flings. and show her that you are a mature man and are not in any way affected by her childish behaviour.

pursue other women equally... don't place all your hopes on this girl alone... you'll soon realzie she loses her "value" once you find someone who is better than her

 

[rick6599]

Thanks for supportive comment - I am emotionally stuck on her - I play with many others, but she beats me, somehow - I'll take it cool - no emails, no desperate moves, Thanks.

 

[damnbugs]

Sending something like that will destroy any hopes of getting her.

Sounds like you are investing too much into this one. Always remember you need to have the ability to WALK AWAY. There was a movie- can't remeber the name, but the main character said "never have anything in life that you can't walk away from in 30 seconds". Now that is taking it to the extreme, but you get the idea- you need to have basically nothing invested to be on your game...

Good luck.

 

[Eternal]

Wait...Please tell me why you followed them home.

 

[McKindley]

Sorry dude, but taking a cab and following her and this guy home is very stalker - ish. Really you should just forget about this girl.

 

[Bonhomme]

You had me scared for a bit

OK, it's good to see from your last comment you're aware of the dynamics of this, Rick. There is hope for you, after all . That sort of desperate behavior is the dead opposite of what being a Don Juan is all about, so it's good that you've made your mind up to chill.

What you need to do now is basically ignore her, and go about your business without betraying any interest in her one way or the other. Don't take her bait. If you run into her, and can't avoid her without being obvious about it, just be friendly and neutral, unless she does something insulting (then just roll your eyes as if to say "how immature") or something playful, in which case respond in kind.

The most important thing to work on is not to put too much value on any particular gal, unless she gives you a real good reason to do so.

 

[MindOverMatter]

uhhh....why did you follow them home?

you're a stalker, plain and simple, if you send her that message, she's gonna put a restraining order against you.

face it, that dude made a move, you didn't. you lost. learn from your mistake, and move on, and try again with a different girl.

 

[NRM]

Yes, you're one of those silly stalkers that hope by admiring a girl from afar, one day they will become amusingly attracted to you. No desperate moves, does that mean NO MOVES AT ALL?

How is a woman going to become attracted to you if you stalk her, never make any moves on her, or ever show any signs of attraction?

If I were to help you, I'd tell you to just freaking ask her out on a date, plain and simple. The other guy who actually got some action that night had the balls to talk to her and mack on her while you stood on the sidelines looking like a punk stalker boy.

Jesus, grow up. Either make your move, or quit following girls around in the night. I feel sick just giving you advice.

 

[rick6599]

I was NOT AROUND when he made her, when she saw me it was game over for me, that's why I did not want to get into conversation. I followed them unnoticed , in a cab, from a distance. I did not send her any messages from that moment. I aready restrained myself enough. No offence commited. I will send her no messages. But MAYBE I will appear in her regular club. Tonight. With ignorant air. Waiting till she comes to me..if so. Is this too much? If you folks think it's too much, I will not go there.

 

[JJMcLure]

Originally posted by damnbugs
There was a movie- can't remeber the name, but the main character said "never have anything in life that you can't walk away from in 30 seconds".

That was Deniro's character in Heat.

Back to the topic. Dude you are clearly infatuted with this chick. Following her home was stalker behaviour. As already said don't make any desperate moves, you'll only make things worse.

I don't know how much history of this behaviour there has been with her, or how much of it she knows of - but if she does then you can assume you're chances are very slim.

It would be great if you could just forget about this one as you've probably got her on a pedestal, and if you ever got together she could not live up to it anyway.

But if you really have oneitis so bad, possibly the thing for you to get over it would be to flat out ask her on a "date". If she rejects you it should help you start to get over her (the harder she rejects you the more you should end up disliking her!). And if she doesn't reject you, all will be fine.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by rick6599
Guys, I saw my "Main crush" picking up a guy in a club last nite. I accidentally passed by, and she made a joking "you ought to be shot" gesture. He took her to her home on a bycicle. I took a cab, and followed, watched the scene. Just some kissing and hugging outside, she did not let him in her house, and he took a cab. I wanted to email her this "Come on - you're not gonna **** that farmer - and if you went out with me - I'd take you home on a big motorcycle" Should I send this? This might be on the edge of stalking charges, thats why I ask...

Don't

Friggin

Stalk

Her!

 

[NRM]

Originally posted by rick6599
I was NOT AROUND when he made her, when she saw me it was game over for me, that's why I did not want to get into conversation. I followed them unnoticed , in a cab, from a distance. I did not send her any messages from that moment. I aready restrained myself enough. No offence commited. I will send her no messages. But MAYBE I will appear in her regular club. Tonight. With ignorant air. Waiting till she comes to me..if so. Is this too much? If you folks think it's too much, I will not go there.

You are infactuated with this woman. IF she liked you the same way or even CLOSE, she wouldn't be "PICKING UP OTHER GUYS."

You already pulled your stalker card, now waiting around in a club till she comes to talk to you so that you don't look desperate is just plain loony. I bet if she doesn't come to you and hits on another guy, you'll follow her home once again and we'll all be hit with a "SHE DID IT AGAIN" thread.

Seriously, you play it so you aren't desperate, but what you are also doing is playing UNINTERESTED. There is a middle ground here. You wait for her to talk to you, now that's just stupid. YOU WANT TO TALK TO HER. If you were a man, you won't deny your wants and needs. Freaking get up and talk to her. Chat her up, if she doesn't want to talk to you (for obvious reasons), then get out, move on. Your non-desperate plan of not chatting with her BUT going to the clubs she goes to regularly is not what you want to achieve. What next? She gets married, you follow in pursuit inside the wedding cake? Then you buy a house across the street from her and watch her fuck a silly farmer on a bicycle?

Figure it out.

 

[Lost In Translation]

i would be very interested to know what the TAXI DRIVER thought as you made him switch the head lights off and drive real slow as you followed them.

was the following of the bicycle couple a high speed pursuit ?

did you have to pay him extra ?

speaking of Robert Deniro, was the taxi driver anything like his character in the movie TAXI DRIVER ?

" You talkin' to me? "

" You talkin' to me? "

" You talkin' to me? "

dude you are starting to scare me lol




Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: Don Juanabbe
What are you Vanilla-bloody-Ice?

 

[MichaelangelloB]

Don't tell her that fool. And what are you doin following her home in a cab?! C'mon man.

 

[rick6599]

This is lost for me. She is probably ****ing that farmer for the happy weekend - while I had to call some **** buddy girl I don't care about to sooth it. I suck. And so I earned Loser DJ title...

 

[Bonhomme]

Danger! Peligro!

No, do not appear in her club. Do not contact her, and do everything you can to ensure you don't run into her.

I thought you'd seen the light, but evidently not. The less you think of her and the farther you go away from her, the better.

Most of us have seen gals we're very attracted to who are hooked up with guys we despise. Get used to it. And if a gal pulls away, you pull away further.

***********

NRM is right about making a connection with a gal who interests you... but it certainly appears you've already had some interactions with this gal, and they've not gone to your liking. Accept the fact that you blew it and/or are just not what she wants and move on... and approach other gals who interest you the right way, and leave them alone when they take leave of you.