URGENT: Should I keep or FLAKE?

[CaConfused]

Hey guys,

I'm going out with a very sweet, very honest girl that I met on OKCupid. I know that they are rare. But given my experience, I know she is.

Anyway, we have dated three times.

SUNDAY Date two I slept over but didn't have sex. She said she would only have sex in an exclusive relationship. We messed around a bunch

WEDNESDAY - Went to dinner, went back to her place, messed around a little, but we both had work. So here's the Q. During dinner we got into a great convo and for some reason I suggest we see a movie that we both want to see on FRIDAY (2 days later) because Im too busy on Sat. She agreed and said she could go right after Happy Hour with her friends. I thought to myself "Too soon!"

On the way out from her place she reminded me "Let me know if you're good on the movie for Friday."

So what do I do? Keep or flake on this 4th date on Friday, or is it OK?

I could possibly try to move it to Sunday especially since a snow front might be moving in-- use that as an excuse.

 

[GotED?]

Why would you flake?

What is your game end-point? LTR? or just hump and dump?

Unless you have some phucked up emotional issues and has fear of intimacy, it is all good, correct?

Don't act like a woman - know what you want, that is a DJ to start with.

Good luck.

Exodus

(hot-damn, you are 40 yrs old, for God's sake - make up your mind about women!!)

 

[Vice]

I would personally flake. I use my weekends to "get new leads" if you know what I mean. Sunday is a good day to catch up because women tend to be more emotionally vulnerable after going out and not getting much attention.

 

[CaConfused]

Why would you flake?

What is your game end-point? LTR? or just hump and dump?

Unless you have some phucked up emotional issues and has fear of intimacy, it is all good, correct?

Don't act like a woman - know what you want, that is a DJ to start with.

Good luck.

Exodus

(hot-damn, you are 40 yrs old, for God's sake - make up your mind about women!!)

Got ED, looking for LTR. I'm not worried about missing leads on the weekend.

 

[GotED?]

She's showing high interest - I think you have some issues with becoming vulnerable and intimacy.

Check into yourself, dude - you got LTR signs and potentials coming and now you are running the opposite direction.

She sounds straight forward so there is no need to play games unless you have other motives. You can spend a lot of time with women (which is what they ALL want), yet still hold yourself back emotionally - this is the key. But it comes with experience, you must hold back yourself emotionally and never exceed the woman's level of emotional investment.

Maybe you are not that into her? Figure out what's wrong with YOU.

Be well.

Exodus

 

[CaConfused]

You have a point GotED. I got divorced 3 years ago, and so I'm being too careful. Thinking too much. I'll go for it.

 

[GotED?]

You have a point GotED. I got divorced 3 years ago, and so I'm being too careful. Thinking too much. I'll go for it.

I was where you were 5-6 years ago and got my arse kicked by a Russian/Ukranian gold digger with BPD symptoms (and punched in the face by her and bled as well and I am 6'3" tall!).

I was taken advantaged of while going through my divorce - some manipulative women can see a clear innocent prey a mile away and I was a good AFC-meat coming out of a divorce and financially secure (though very needy and insecure of myself as single and no clue about the dating market in my mid-30's)

Yes, you must be careful - therefore hold back your emotional investment at all cost. Make sure you don't pedestal her, take any sh!t if she gives you attitude (I walk at the first sign of that crap!).

The key to being a DJ is NEVER BE AFRAID TO WALK AWAY AT ANYTIME.

If you have that concept down in your pocket, you should never be afraid of women.

Be well, and enjoy women. Since I became a DJ after my divorce and horrendous gold digged experiences, I am now a true DJ and all those horrible women have forced me to become a better man in the process, and hope you do too.

Exodus

 

[CaConfused]

Thanks for the insight.

I'm doing well with her. I just want to make sure that I don't ruin it by making myself too available. When I wasn't carefully planning my next move, I got caught up in the convo and suggested another date... then after, when I thought about it, I thought ****, that might have been too soon.

Good food for thought. This girl is a pretty big straight shooter. I like her a lot. That's scary.

 

[GotED?]

Tighten up your wardrobe, dress well, be clean, be witty, humorous.

The rest is really out of your hands - sometimes life is just like that, as you know being previously married.

Nobody goes into a marriage with the end-game of divorce. No different than LTR's. You just do your best and let the rest take its course as life dictates. Most things in life are out of our hands.

But enjoy the journey - that's what we forget sometimes. Though most LTR's will end up to be nothing, there's abundant joy and re-development for you as a man that each woman will bring and teach you, which are priceless.

If you do fall in love with her, enjoy it and don't get too paranoid (seems like SS did you in a bit more than what it shoud LOL). Remember to protect your heart and never be afraid to display INDIFFERENCE = WALKING AWAY AT ANYTIME. You will be all right in the end no matter what.

Good luck.

Exodus