URGENT: She changed the date???

[CaConfused]

Hey guys, so this is really throwing me in the loop with one of my spinning plates.

I met her right before Thanksgiving..Good date

She flaked twice, then asked me out a week ago.

We went out, had amazing sex. The next day before I went away for Holidays, she asked me hang out soon.

5 days later I asked her to hang this Saturday because there's a mixology bar I want to try... we'll get food too. She said "Sounds good, what time." and this is on Thursday night. I reply 7pm

Then this morning, at 7am I get this text. "Perfect I'll have to be home at 10pm. I promised a friend of mine I would go see the "mitty" movie with her."

What the hell should I do about that? Sounds like a no sex zone now? Any ideas what's up? Need to reply to her soon. Actually I had reservations for the mixology bar at 8:30 after food so that wouldn't work at all. I could change the plans though to fit her schedule. seems ridiculous

 

[user name]

Eject.

 

[DonJuanit0]

The movie is great by the way!

Cancel her! Simple as that, you are not going to fack anyway...

This is what happens when the ILs are not the same! You would change your plans to fit her schedule while she wouldn't! You should think on that rather than finding something to reply.

 

[om1xr]

Flake on her to make her taste her own poison bc this girl is considering you as a plate and she is spinning you for sure and only makes time for you when it's convenient for her because the date/sex happens only when she is the one who does the asking/offering for the dates!

 

[CaConfused]

Flake on her to make her taste her own poison bc this girl is considering you as a plate and she is spinning you for sure and only makes time for you when it's convenient for her because the date/sex happens only when she is the one who does the asking/offering for the dates!

Thanks guys. How would you flake out of this?

Just playing devils advocate, a few months ago a different girl told me
The same thing. We ****ed later that night.

Weeks later I asked why she said that and she said she just didn't want to feel like she had to sleep with me. Same
Thing here?

Last date this girl said she was on her period. She wasn't....

Ok guys tell me what you think and a good
Flaking line if I must. My reservations were at 8:30 so is have to change everything (I was picking her up at 7 to
Go somewhere prior)

 

[DonJuanit0]

"Since you need to leave so early, I will go out with some friends of mine a bit earlier so we can arrange some other time!"

Whatever you reply though, don't let it seem that it bothered you!

 

[DarkDetective50]

Two options here. You can either give her no reply or say something along the lines of "Wow. That's a bit of a tight schedule. I'd hate for either of us to feel rushed. Let's just reschedule for another time". You can either suggest another date right then and there or not contact her after that.

Personally, I'd say reply and suggest another date. The SAME exact thing happened to me once and when I suggested another date, she couldn't stop apologizing on our next date and kept saying she would make it up to me with a playful smile. We had crazy sex that night. Don't act burned or ignore her. At least she had the decency to tell you her situation. Just acknowledge it and suggest another date and time. Good luck.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Just go bro.

If anything you can build report for the next fvck.

 

[CaConfused]

Just go? Hadn't heard that advice. Wouldn't that make me a wuss?

Any other advice or text lines?
Thinking I'll reply to her in an hour.

Right now I'm thinking she flaked twice before putting out.

It seems she's trying to keep the date this time (not flaking)

Whether this is because it's another dude or really a friend I don't know.

But risk seems higher if I do the 10pm thing

On the other hand this has happened once before with a diff girl and we ended up still screwing!

Any last words? Really want the heavy hitters!

 

[cordoncordon]

With it being a Sat night, her expecting to go out with you, have drinks, and then leave at 9:30 or so to go to a movie (which is probably with another guy), which in the meantime leaves you hanging right when things get going? Not the biggest high level of interest sign I have ever seen, and kinda rude. I would cancel.

Say something like this. "Hey, didn't realize you had another engagement to go to that night. I had dinner planned after drinks so lets reschedule for another night when we both have more time. I have some friends that asked me to join them so no biggie. Have a great time at the movie!"

I bet her jaw drops when she reads that. She may even offer to cancel the movie. And if she does? Tell her no, that you already promised your friends you will be joining them.

Also, no doubt she is spinning plates. Seeing other guys. That is why she flaked twice before, was late on getting back to you about Sat night, and why she has to leave early to go to a movie. You should do the same. Spin.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Dude, you got to know one thing!

She is playing you. With the only weapon she can use against you, which is, her pvssy!

If she is "one of your plates", I'm assuming you have others. So don't fear losing this one because otherwise you'll have no other chick to f*ck!

In my experience you should always be bold. She is playing you. Cut things short. She wants your attention. Do not give it! She might be really into you. She may have arranged to go to the movies with her friend. She might be f*cking other dudes. It does not matter.

What matter is this. She was intimate with you. Even that guys preach here that they have multiple options, which they do, they are all prospects most times. What I'm trying to tell you is that after being intimate with you once, you have the power. It is not something that she goes out giving to anyone out there, even that many believe otherwise. It is a high investment on her behalf.

So in my opinion what should be done is as I said being bold. Don't fear losing her. If you say something like:
'Hey no worries. We leave you for another time then! I don't want our time together to be rushed!'
And leave it as that, it will make her head spin.

That little 'you' in the middle of the text implies that you have other possibilities, and so HER fear of losing you will kick in.

I've done this multiple times only to get things working on my favour. As I've said it is a bold move. As SamTheHobit says "To fear losing a woman is to be a faggot". If you are not bold, you never get what you want!

Go big, or go home!

 

[CaConfused]

Lotus - totally get what you're saying about being intimte. It's a bigger deal for a woman. That's why I don't get why she's walking this line with me now. One time I dated a girl, and we had a date set at 4pm. She said she had to be somewhere at 8pm.

We ended up staying out all night. A month later I asked her why she said that and she said that after our first time having sex, she didn't want to feel like she had to sleep with me immediately again.

I like the direct bold route. The leave you for another time then ... seems like it might be a little too direct or obvious?

 

[CaConfused]

With it being a Sat night, her expecting to go out with you, have drinks, and then leave at 9:30 or so to go to a movie (which is probably with another guy), which in the meantime leaves you hanging right when things get going? Not the biggest high level of interest sign I have ever seen, and kinda rude. I would cancel.

Say something like this. "Hey, didn't realize you had another engagement to go to that night. I had dinner planned after drinks so lets reschedule for another night when we both have more time. I have some friends that asked me to join them so no biggie. Have a great time at the movie!"

I bet her jaw drops when she reads that. She may even offer to cancel the movie. And if she does? Tell her no, that you already promised your friends you will be joining them.

Also, no doubt she is spinning plates. Seeing other guys. That is why she flaked twice before, was late on getting back to you about Sat night, and why she has to leave early to go to a movie. You should do the same. Spin.

Love this advice. Question - she knows we were going to get food before going to the mixology bar. Is spelling it out like that important, or could i shorten it by saying "I don't want us to feel rushed.." then the rest? Devils in the details!

 

[cordoncordon]

Love this advice. Question - she knows we were going to get food before going to the mixology bar. Is spelling it out like that important, or could i shorten it by saying "I don't want us to feel rushed.." then the rest? Devils in the details!

OK in that case I would say "Hey, didn't realize you had another engagement to go to that night. I had plans to hit a fun place I know of after dinner/drinks so lets reschedule for another night when we both have more time. I have some friends that asked me to join them so no biggie. Have a great time at the movie!"

No need to tell her what the fun place is. May not even exist. Just let her wonder.

 

[CaConfused]

Cool, Let me bounce this one off of you:

"Hey didn't realize you had more plans. Mixology bar reservations are at 8:30. Let's reschedule for another night when we aren't rushed. I have some friends that asked me to join them tonight, so no biggie. Have a great time at the movie!"

 

[cordoncordon]

Cool, Let me bounce this one off of you:

"Hey didn't realize you had more plans. Mixology bar reservations are at 8:30. Let's reschedule for another night when we aren't rushed. I have some friends that asked me to join them tonight, so no biggie. Have a great time at the movie!"

Yeah that is fine. Send that and forget about it (her) for a few days.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Cool, Let me bounce this one off of you:

"Hey didn't realize you had more plans. Mixology bar reservations are at 8:30. Let's reschedule for another night when we aren't rushed. I have some friends that asked me to join them tonight, so no biggie. Have a great time at the movie!"

A great answer indeed!

 

[CaConfused]

A great answer indeed!

LOL guys - I sent that reply. 2 seconds later I got this reply "OK that sounds good. Let's plan for next Saturday?"

Good/bad/ what do i say haha

 

[user name]

LOL guys - I sent that reply. 2 seconds later I got this reply "OK that sounds good. Let's plan for next Saturday?"

Good/bad/ what do i say haha

I'll get back to you.

Then forget about her.

 

[cordoncordon]

LOL guys - I sent that reply. 2 seconds later I got this reply "OK that sounds good. Let's plan for next Saturday?"

Good/bad/ what do i say haha

Well obviously she wanted this to happen judging by her quick response haha. IF you were Brad Pitt, I can promise you she would not be going to the movie.

So your best response is no response other than perhaps a "sounds good". Let her contact you to set something up for next Sat after that. As far as you are concerned, you are out of this until she takes the initiative.