URGENT: 2 Year Ex-Long-Term Relationship Now Means Nothing, DJ's Let's Experiment...

[Dante420]

Alright so I been spinning plates, meeting new people and still every single day I think about my ex-girlfriend. The girl I spent 2 years of my life with, and when I say I spent two years with her I mean every single day we were together. I thought things were different, and now she's a completely changed girl. It seems as if she has no feelings towards me which really hurts, in person I notice she still flirts, especially now that school has restarted. I really miss her and I never expected it to ever end the way it did, but I also wasn't happy in the relationship when I did have it. I expected us to be best friends when it was done, instead of I mean absolutely nothing. She even saw me enter a new social circle of the "cooler kids"

Either way my lifestyle won't change and I will still be successful meeting new girls, either way she's still going to be stalking my Myspace thinking "What a man *****, who's he messing with now?"

How do I change this,

I want to reverse the tables, what's the game-plan for making her think differently about me and what options do I have. I don't need answers like "Who cares, move on" I have moved on, it just consumes my mind daily. I just need to know the way to be when she's around, how much attention to give her and what to say so that I'm back on her mind as something positive. . . . .

Can you make that happen? This is a situation that many people get put in, let's throw in some strategies for an experiment

 

[Desdinova]

what's the game-plan for making her think differently about me and what options do I have.

You cannot make anybody do anything. You are not god, and she is not your loyal servant.

All you can do is influence people. People can be the most influenced when they have a large amount of respect for you, or when they're attracted to you.

I just need to know the way to be when she's around, how much attention to give her and what to say so that I'm back on her mind as something positive. . . . .

Reading between the lines of your post, I'm assuming you want her to be attracted to you.

Attraction doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how positively the woman thinks of you, but how much she thinks about you. If she is dwelling on the fact that you're seeing other women and she's thinking about you every single day, she is still attracted to you.

I have moved on

Bull5hit. You're thinking about her. Her opinion about you matters. You have not moved on. She is still very relevant in your life. Don't try to bull5hit yourself into believing that you've moved on when in fact you're still extremely attracted to her. All that stuff I wrote above about how much a person thinks about you? It applies to men as well.

If you REALLY DO want to move on, do your best to put her out of your life, and let time pass. That's the only way you can truly move on.

 

[Master JJ]

The best way to achieve any sort of upper hand after being dumped is:

1) Accept it, accept she dumped you. Unless you accept it you'll be on your knees and groveling.

2) After accepting it, realize you're single again, no more attachments.

3) Start dating other women, you'll realize there are women more unique and more pleasant to your eyes than she was.

4) Do not speak to your ex girlfriend, nothing good comes from this. If she calls/texts/emails/Facebooks/Twitters/MySpaces you, IGNORE her.

5) Eventually you'll stop caring altogether, and if she has any ounce of interest left in her, no you'll have the upper hand.

 

[SandHawk]

How long ago was this? From your posting history it's around 03-17-2009, which would make it 6 months ago.

What you're going through isn't easy. I've broke up 1.5 years ago with my ex-gf after an 8.5 year relationship, including 2 years of living together. And still now, I sometimes think of her. I gave it a place, I've grieved over it for a long time. Playing girls helped with that in the beginning, to show me that I didn't need just this specific girl to be happy, but I always kept of being in a relationship with a girl because I still had grief. I just had sex with them and told them to GTFO the moment they started talking about relationships.

There is only 1 solution to this: Time. All wounds heal with time. I sometimes think back to my ex-gf(After 1.5 years!), but I finally managed to give a place where it no longer hurts. There is no magic remedy to deal with a broken heart. Also, playing loads of girls won't help you dealing with it. Make sure you play as a way to have fun, not as a way to forget your ex-girlfriend, because running away from emotions doesn't work. It's gonna catch up at some point, and bite you even harder in the ass than before.

As in turning the tables: Not gonna happen. If you broke up and she went on, she probably got over it. And it's negligible that she will have a change of heart.

 

[Dante420]

Alright all the advice I heard in here was great. I'd love to see more people add on but I'm really grateful for the help.

I mean I'm 17 "spinning plates" as you call it and I never chase a girl, most of the time I'm not even the one who initiates things. I got a 19 year old girl that matches my lifestyle quite into me, she doesn't know my age. . . . .Any advice on that one?

Can't believe after this long it still bothers me though, thanks SandHawk

 

[Fingerling]

you're only young dude. By the sounds of things this was your first girlfriend. it happens it may happen again so try draw a line under it and put it down as experience.
you will meet more girls in the future. Now go out have fun