Update to "She Will Not Come"

RKTek

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 14, 2001
Messages
1,885
Reaction score
9
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30085 is the prequel to this thread.

Maybe she has ESP, but my posting here might have transmitted some brain waves to her because last night she called to ask if she could come over so we could talk.

Even though she's got great attitude, killer body and is othewise a cool chick, I'm ready to NEXT her unless she starts making a whole lot of sense and changing. Or at least convincing me she will change and it's worth my while to stick around a bit.

While being sensitive, I did hit her with some tough questions.

We've discussed the Enneagram here before, and I'm certain she is a "2" the "Helper", described here: http://enneagraminstitute.com/typetwo.asp

For a humorous but also unfortunately very accurate look at this girl, see this site:
http://www.handprint.com/HM/ENN/enn2.html

She is this to a "t".

Last night she talked about her father, a strict Baptist minister and her mother who were very repressive about sex when she was growing up. She even said her younger sister is now a lesbian probably due to her parent's constant message that sex was bad, feeling good from sex was bad, orgasm was bad, sex was only for making babies and only in marriage, boys only wanted one thing, stay away from boys and on and on. She said she completely rebelled against them when she was 16 and began sex then.

She described a series of relationships with boys that became more degrading as she tried more and more to please them. She felt that the only thing she had to offer to boys was her body. Because she is a genuinely caring and giving person, combined with the idea that her parents gave her that feeling good during sex was a 'sin', she used her body to attract men, but absolutely could not allow herself to feel pleasure. She said that every guy eventually broke up with her. She blamed the guy, but seeing how she is, it seems they broke up with her out of frustration.

She says it all came to a halt about 18 months ago when the last guy dumped her after dating for about a year. She tells me I'm the first guy ever to notice she faked orgasm, and the first guy ever to actually want to talk to her. It got late and we called it a night and she went home, but she wants to continue talking tonight. Last night to say goodbye she gave me a kiss that made my knees weak. Whew.

She has so many other positive qualities to offer, and she seems to have such a positive attitude, I might consider listening to her and seeing where this goes. Everyone has problems (including me), and nowadays I'm defining a good relationship as one where you know and accept each other's weirdnesses and can successfully deal with them.

She wants to be exclusive and even used the "L" word last night (!), but I'm holding my cards close to my chest on this one to see where it goes.
 

legolas

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 2, 2003
Messages
952
Reaction score
14
Location
Red Sox Nation
"L" word? You mean Love?

Anyway, I could tell that this girl had problems from your first post, but maybe not the kind where she was abused or raped. We all carry way too many posthypnotic suggestions from our parents that screw us up later in life.

Anyway, sounds to me like if you were to make her feel completely comfortable with you she will enjoy sex more, because orgasm is a natural bodily function built into the biology of the body, but it is prevented from many psychological troubles and such. If you want to become her therapist, that's fine but don't do it just to get sex and then to dump her. That would be cruel!!!
 

Bungo Pony

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2001
Messages
2,572
Reaction score
1
Age
46
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Ah, the religion 5hit. I fvcking hate religion for this reason. I got the same crap when I was growing up. Masturbation was a sin. Sorry God, but if it feels this great, it's gotta be right! :)

A couple of suggestions: there are websites that deal with the deprogramming of religious teachings. You or her may want to look into it if you really want to help this girl.

I'm also planning on buying a book called "Toxic Parents" which deals with the results from dysfunctional families. It also talks about Emotional Abuse. This may also be a bit of help.

However, if you don't plan on helping her, or she doesn't want to help herself, she's a good candidate for NEXTing.
 

Matt ala Casanova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 18, 2002
Messages
682
Reaction score
3
Location
NH/MA
I can sense someone is about to become a emotional tampon. But hey if you don't mind the smell involved better you than me!

However...

If you want to tread into the downward spiral of fvcked up woman then do it. I mean the messed up ones are always the freakiest ones in the sack. I have yet to meet a normal, all american girl that is a great fvck.

I would quit the small talk about her messed up past! She is going to drop a bomb on you and say that she has been with like 30 guys, blah blah...unless you already know how many partners?

If you don't mind knowing how many c0cks have ridden that happy trail.

Just be with the girl, trying to be her shrink is just so chumpish.

M.A.C.
 

RKTek

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 14, 2001
Messages
1,885
Reaction score
9
Yes, seriously considering NEXTing her.

It was actually a relief to hear some of her life last night as it confirmed some of my intuitions and suspicions. She seems to want to sweep so much under the rug, so to speak.

She has got such an incredible body! But this would be like buying a Ferrari that you later found out had been seriously wrecked and was repaired with 55 gallons of Bondo.

In other words, looks great but beneath that thin veneer....
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Matt ala Casanova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 18, 2002
Messages
682
Reaction score
3
Location
NH/MA
Yep...thats why I love damaged goods. Send her my way when you are done, up to the New England area. M.A.C. will take good care of her.

:D

M.A.C.
 

Bungo Pony

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2001
Messages
2,572
Reaction score
1
Age
46
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
She seems to want to sweep so much under the rug, so to speak.
If she actually does this, she's going to continue to have problems. There is nothing you can do for her, no matter how hard and how long you fvck her. I'm surprised you've been able to put up with her RK, if my woman told me to stop, I'd stop for good and kick her out of the fvcking house. I put up with that 5hit for too long.
 

RKTek

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 14, 2001
Messages
1,885
Reaction score
9
Originally posted by Bungo Pony
I'm surprised you've been able to put up with her RK, if my woman told me to stop, I'd stop for good and kick her out of the fvcking house. I put up with that 5hit for too long.


Welll, this woman will tell me to stop because she feels she can't get to the big "O" and she doesn't want to frustrate me more, but then she'll make up for it by insisting that she go down on me.

Difficult to just outright NEXT a girl for that attitude! But I still entertain ideas of dumping her because although this can be pleasant, it tends to be superficial. I want more of a true give and take relationship. I think I'll keep her for social proof and a nice diversion while keeping my eyes open for something better.
 

Bungo Pony

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2001
Messages
2,572
Reaction score
1
Age
46
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Still, using the word "stop" in bed is incredibly rude. Next time she's giving you a bj, tell her to stop because her teeth are grinding against your d1ck. I guarantee she won't be as understanding as you.
 

myfriendblu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2003
Messages
907
Reaction score
0
Yep, sounds like a next....Gotta do what ya gotta do. For whatever reason Rk gets himself involved in some strange situations....
 

BruticusMaximus

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2002
Messages
158
Reaction score
0
I got told to stop once, but I had farted on her about 30 seconds earlier. Is that still rude? :D
 

RKTek

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 14, 2001
Messages
1,885
Reaction score
9
Originally posted by myfriendblu
Yep, sounds like a next....Gotta do what ya gotta do. For whatever reason Rk gets himself involved in some strange situations....
LOL, to be honest though, I tend to only post the real 'problems' here. Note I said the real problems since I've come to see that everyone and every situation is a problem. It just depends on whether or not you have the emotional equipment to deal with it.

So, you guys only hear about the ones I meet who are just at the fringes of my ability to cope.
 

Bungo Pony

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2001
Messages
2,572
Reaction score
1
Age
46
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
BruticusMaximus wrote:
I got told to stop once, but I had farted on her about 30 seconds earlier. Is that still rude?
Farting is accidental. You must have peeled the paint in that room LOL!

RKTek wrote:
LOL, to be honest though, I tend to only post the real 'problems' here. Note I said the real problems since I've come to see that everyone and every situation is a problem. It just depends on whether or not you have the emotional equipment to deal with it.
Hell RK, getting other people's opinions on something may open up your mind to other things you haven't thought of. It's very constructive in my opinion, and it's also a great way to learn. Plus the newbies have something to learn from if they should encounter a situation like this.
 

myfriendblu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2003
Messages
907
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by Bungo Pony
[RKTek wrote:

Hell RK, getting other people's opinions on something may open up your mind to other things you haven't thought of. It's very constructive in my opinion, and it's also a great way to learn. Plus the newbies have something to learn from if they should encounter a situation like this.
Agreed there:D i always look for Rk's post, there always somethin going on.....
 

Mizer

Don Juan
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
101
Reaction score
0
RK, I swear your girl almost sound like one I used to mess around with a few years ago. After she opened up, she became so attached to me since she bottled up all of her emotions and dumped them on me. I then became the emotional tampon but I enjoyed the woman's company and conversation. She could discuss so many topics.

Anyway, even though she became more relaxed sexually, it was still sort of slow mo in the sex department. She wasn't as adventurous and still held on to a lot of those engrained religous principles.
Don't think you will be the key that drives them all away over night. You got some work ahead of you, pal, if you continue to stick around. I didn't.

But just as in your situation, as soon as he opened up she began to bring up love. I think the emotional flood gates opened when she began to reveal more about her life and a lot of emotions began floating around.

Anyway, I wish I had given her more of a chance. I haven't really had a date I have enjoyed talking to as much since I have dated her.
So I wouldn't next her just yet but I wouldn't put too much stock in it immediately either.


Mizer
 

drZaius09

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2002
Messages
1,358
Reaction score
3
Location
MA
RK, I've noticed that every time you post about a girl you're dating, you have a tendency to place them into some sort of category. For instance, before you posted about a girl with histrionic personality, and now it's a girl who's a type "2" on the enneagram. Perhaps you are bogging down your mind by analyzing these chicks too much? Maybe you feel the need to help these women overcome their problems, and that's why you have a proclivity toward troubled women? Or is it just bad luck?The point here is to be honest with yourself so we can get to the root of the problem.
 
Top