I’m over 40, she’s 20.
I’ve known her mum for over a decade and now her daughter has turned out very hot and initially very infatuated with me, which piqued my interest with possibility. Although I am very hesitant to bridge the gap between the fantasy love scenario in my mind and the tricky reality that I will have to go public to her mum and risk a disaster whereby I ruin the close connection I have with what is pretty much an extended family and end up being viewed with contempt. Not to mention the social and logistical headache of dating a girl 20 years younger than me who I have a duty of care for and can’t just pump and dump etc. I have a lot more to lose than she does.
In order to truncate the story somewhat I’ll begin at the point where my difficulties began.
I’ve been a guest at their holiday flat on and off for a few months. Me and her were going out for beers and she was qualifying herself a lot and trying to create a connection between us, saying how she feels we are very similar, disclosing very personal information about her inner world, and looking into my eyes with a mixture of desperate hope of a reciprocated gaze and despair that I’m not receiving her signals.
I’m not very forthcoming verbally but we have very deep ‘soul gazing’ type of eye contact, we both make each other laugh and I’m quite physical with her.
Anyway we wound up on our own in the flat for the evening, her eyes lit up when I walked into the lounge for the first time. We drunk beers, and she played me songs which were almost exclusively themed around chasing or deeply loving someone, we smoked weed and watched comedy and laughed our asses off. She was wearing a dressing gown over PJ’s and was freshly showered and shaved.
Now this all sounds like it should be plain sailing but there are two main caveats, the least important is she had a boyfriend, which wouldn’t have stopped me proceeding, but the 2nd was that I had a g/f of 11 years back in my home city and yet I had still escalated things with this girl right up until crunch time, even though I knew I wouldn’t cheat on my g/f due to my own principles. At one point I had my arm around her and she was giggling her head off, I knew this was my moment, but I didn’t take it for the aforementioned reasons.
So ultimately, although the window of opportunity sat wide open, I went into my bedroom that night and she stayed on the couch.
The next morning she was irate and went to work. I made plans to chill with her brother and kept her out of the loop, much to her frustration. The day after she invited me to a club wearing basicly underwear as an outfit, but I sensed it that she was going to taunt me all night for not closing the deal previously, so I opted not to go and went to the gym instead. The day after that it was quite clear that she was pissed with me because she threw out a couple of insults couched in ‘I’m only joking’ – ‘you are weird looking, I’m only joking’, ‘Oh I knew you had come in the room because flies have started coming in, I’m only joking’. I barely grunted a response to any of these comments, I know a **** test when I see one. She ended up going to her boyfriends and I had to go home anyway.
I have since broken up with my GF and been back up to visit, the break up had a been a long time coming, but having such strong feelings for this girl pushed me to take the difficult path of leaving a great girl who I wasn’t in love with.
I have played it a lot cooler on my return as I didn’t want her thinking I ended things with my GF because she had captured my heart and I was expecting some Hollywood romance to ensue.
The dynamic has changed considerably. She is less forthcoming about personal issues and seems to have taken me off the pedestal I was on, by the way she converses with me, she seems less insecure around me and the magic spell she was under seems to have worn off considerably.
Nevertheless, Saturday night in the lounge she returns from having a few drinks, I’m in my boxer shorts on the couch, we smoke a joint and chat, then she throws a pillow at me, we playfight and it culminates In me on top of her, with her arms crossed and pinned over her neck and I’m pressing my body into hers hard, our hearts beating fast, I move back to look at her lips, and I think to myself, her mum and partner are in the next room, what if she rejects me and tells everyone the next day and I feel like I’m in the dock for being a creep who tried to take advantage of my good friends daughter. So I resumed a playfight/hugging posture, smacked her ass and then diffused the whole thing. At no point did she tell me to get off her or stop fighting back with zeal and it went on for a good few minutes.
Last night we went to a local bar and played pool, we were having fun and joking around, in the background I heard ‘will you just kiss each other’. A local at the bar who knows her pulls us both over and tells me that even though she has a boyfriend we should get together, she comes in here a lot and he knows how she behaves and that she’s totally different when I’m there. She immediately tries to scold him and says she has a serious boyfriend and then starts protesting saying she’s known me for a long time which is why she acts different.
After this she went rather quiet, and then started giving me these soul gazing looks again, even walking a distance from me, turning round and looking at me hard and into my eyes with a deep longing and beckoning expression, her eyes widening as if to send a message. I said ‘what?’ a few times and she came back over saying she just wanted to watch me look around trying to find her in the bar.
Then we go to a takeaway and another group say something about me being her boyfriend, and she tries to explain to the group that we aren’t together.
She turns to me and says she doesn’t like it when people say this because she feels it’s ‘disrespectful to her boyfriend’.
*Anyone know what the W.o.m.a.n.e.s.e is for her saying ‘it’s disrespectful to my boyfriend’ (when people verbally frame us as being in a relationship).
The b/f by the way is a rich douche bag drug dealer whom she does claim to really love, and has been with for 5 years, although she doesn’t really bring him up much around me, and anytime I bring up my ex, she rather quickly changes the subject.
We get back to the kitchen and we play fight again under the guise of my trying to get a tea towel from her clenched fist, but I’m determined to go for the kiss this time so I switch up to hugging her and ‘inspecting’ her slim ribcage, I put my hands on her arms and pull her to face me, but she keeps her head down and to the side, her hair covering her face, silent and gripping the tea towel. I think I tried again to put us in position for me to kiss her but she obviously sensed it and avoided it somehow. I whipped her ass with a tea towel and she retreated to the other side of the kitchen and said ‘stop it’, I said ‘stop what?’, she said again ‘stop it’, I said ‘never’, but then de-escalated things. We both went upstairs to smoke a joint in the lounge on a giant L sofa where we both sleep. she got into shorts PJ’s under a dressing gown and when we sat down I was comparing our legs, then I moved my leg further up towards her thigh and she said ‘don’t’. I told her I was showing her how different the colours of our legs are, she said ‘yeah but I thought you might have seen something’ (up her dressing gown), I said ‘why have you got a massive hairy bush?’ she said ‘no but did you see anything?’, I said ‘why have you got a ****? Don’t worry about it, it’s the modern age nobody cares’.
*Anyone know what the W.o.m.a.n.e.s.e is for her saying ‘did you see anything?’ in that context. There was nothing to see except her PJ shorts so it seems odd to make a drama about it.
Anyway we smoked a joint out of the window and that was about that. The next morning she’s trying to get a wasp out of the window for 5 mins and gives me a full view of her little arse in booty PJ shorts before going to work.
I’ve come home now but we’re all meeting at a campsite in a month where I’ll be with them all for a few days.
I just don’t know where I am with this anymore. Up until the night where I didn’t close the deal the first time everything felt like it was progressing naturally and I was in the drivers’ seat. Now since I didn’t make a move, her subconscious beta detector has probably been triggered, and she is rationalising my actions to my detriment, exemplified by her cooling off attitude, and I have since had to double my efforts to seem aloof and unperturbed as to re-convince her of my alpha status and win back her affections and investment.
At this point I’m not sure if I’m in now in the ‘non sex worthy guy, friendzone’, or I haven’t qualified her enough verbally and she she’s pulled back somewhat because she does see me as high value and needs more assurance that I see her as more than a hot young thang, or whether I’m being toyed with, which I doubt because we’re so close and have a lot of history so it would be a ****s trick of her to ****tease me to this level, although if she feels scorned from the first time I didn’t close the deal, and has since gone off me, she might be punishing me by keeping the charade going, or is she really in love with her boyfriend but likes me aswell, or maybe it’s a combination of those things.
I wanna know what you guys think in terms of where I stand, and what my next moves are.
Any advice from you experienced playas out there would be appreciated.
I’ve known her mum for over a decade and now her daughter has turned out very hot and initially very infatuated with me, which piqued my interest with possibility. Although I am very hesitant to bridge the gap between the fantasy love scenario in my mind and the tricky reality that I will have to go public to her mum and risk a disaster whereby I ruin the close connection I have with what is pretty much an extended family and end up being viewed with contempt. Not to mention the social and logistical headache of dating a girl 20 years younger than me who I have a duty of care for and can’t just pump and dump etc. I have a lot more to lose than she does.
In order to truncate the story somewhat I’ll begin at the point where my difficulties began.
I’ve been a guest at their holiday flat on and off for a few months. Me and her were going out for beers and she was qualifying herself a lot and trying to create a connection between us, saying how she feels we are very similar, disclosing very personal information about her inner world, and looking into my eyes with a mixture of desperate hope of a reciprocated gaze and despair that I’m not receiving her signals.
I’m not very forthcoming verbally but we have very deep ‘soul gazing’ type of eye contact, we both make each other laugh and I’m quite physical with her.
Anyway we wound up on our own in the flat for the evening, her eyes lit up when I walked into the lounge for the first time. We drunk beers, and she played me songs which were almost exclusively themed around chasing or deeply loving someone, we smoked weed and watched comedy and laughed our asses off. She was wearing a dressing gown over PJ’s and was freshly showered and shaved.
Now this all sounds like it should be plain sailing but there are two main caveats, the least important is she had a boyfriend, which wouldn’t have stopped me proceeding, but the 2nd was that I had a g/f of 11 years back in my home city and yet I had still escalated things with this girl right up until crunch time, even though I knew I wouldn’t cheat on my g/f due to my own principles. At one point I had my arm around her and she was giggling her head off, I knew this was my moment, but I didn’t take it for the aforementioned reasons.
So ultimately, although the window of opportunity sat wide open, I went into my bedroom that night and she stayed on the couch.
The next morning she was irate and went to work. I made plans to chill with her brother and kept her out of the loop, much to her frustration. The day after she invited me to a club wearing basicly underwear as an outfit, but I sensed it that she was going to taunt me all night for not closing the deal previously, so I opted not to go and went to the gym instead. The day after that it was quite clear that she was pissed with me because she threw out a couple of insults couched in ‘I’m only joking’ – ‘you are weird looking, I’m only joking’, ‘Oh I knew you had come in the room because flies have started coming in, I’m only joking’. I barely grunted a response to any of these comments, I know a **** test when I see one. She ended up going to her boyfriends and I had to go home anyway.
I have since broken up with my GF and been back up to visit, the break up had a been a long time coming, but having such strong feelings for this girl pushed me to take the difficult path of leaving a great girl who I wasn’t in love with.
I have played it a lot cooler on my return as I didn’t want her thinking I ended things with my GF because she had captured my heart and I was expecting some Hollywood romance to ensue.
The dynamic has changed considerably. She is less forthcoming about personal issues and seems to have taken me off the pedestal I was on, by the way she converses with me, she seems less insecure around me and the magic spell she was under seems to have worn off considerably.
Nevertheless, Saturday night in the lounge she returns from having a few drinks, I’m in my boxer shorts on the couch, we smoke a joint and chat, then she throws a pillow at me, we playfight and it culminates In me on top of her, with her arms crossed and pinned over her neck and I’m pressing my body into hers hard, our hearts beating fast, I move back to look at her lips, and I think to myself, her mum and partner are in the next room, what if she rejects me and tells everyone the next day and I feel like I’m in the dock for being a creep who tried to take advantage of my good friends daughter. So I resumed a playfight/hugging posture, smacked her ass and then diffused the whole thing. At no point did she tell me to get off her or stop fighting back with zeal and it went on for a good few minutes.
Last night we went to a local bar and played pool, we were having fun and joking around, in the background I heard ‘will you just kiss each other’. A local at the bar who knows her pulls us both over and tells me that even though she has a boyfriend we should get together, she comes in here a lot and he knows how she behaves and that she’s totally different when I’m there. She immediately tries to scold him and says she has a serious boyfriend and then starts protesting saying she’s known me for a long time which is why she acts different.
After this she went rather quiet, and then started giving me these soul gazing looks again, even walking a distance from me, turning round and looking at me hard and into my eyes with a deep longing and beckoning expression, her eyes widening as if to send a message. I said ‘what?’ a few times and she came back over saying she just wanted to watch me look around trying to find her in the bar.
Then we go to a takeaway and another group say something about me being her boyfriend, and she tries to explain to the group that we aren’t together.
She turns to me and says she doesn’t like it when people say this because she feels it’s ‘disrespectful to her boyfriend’.
*Anyone know what the W.o.m.a.n.e.s.e is for her saying ‘it’s disrespectful to my boyfriend’ (when people verbally frame us as being in a relationship).
The b/f by the way is a rich douche bag drug dealer whom she does claim to really love, and has been with for 5 years, although she doesn’t really bring him up much around me, and anytime I bring up my ex, she rather quickly changes the subject.
We get back to the kitchen and we play fight again under the guise of my trying to get a tea towel from her clenched fist, but I’m determined to go for the kiss this time so I switch up to hugging her and ‘inspecting’ her slim ribcage, I put my hands on her arms and pull her to face me, but she keeps her head down and to the side, her hair covering her face, silent and gripping the tea towel. I think I tried again to put us in position for me to kiss her but she obviously sensed it and avoided it somehow. I whipped her ass with a tea towel and she retreated to the other side of the kitchen and said ‘stop it’, I said ‘stop what?’, she said again ‘stop it’, I said ‘never’, but then de-escalated things. We both went upstairs to smoke a joint in the lounge on a giant L sofa where we both sleep. she got into shorts PJ’s under a dressing gown and when we sat down I was comparing our legs, then I moved my leg further up towards her thigh and she said ‘don’t’. I told her I was showing her how different the colours of our legs are, she said ‘yeah but I thought you might have seen something’ (up her dressing gown), I said ‘why have you got a massive hairy bush?’ she said ‘no but did you see anything?’, I said ‘why have you got a ****? Don’t worry about it, it’s the modern age nobody cares’.
*Anyone know what the W.o.m.a.n.e.s.e is for her saying ‘did you see anything?’ in that context. There was nothing to see except her PJ shorts so it seems odd to make a drama about it.
Anyway we smoked a joint out of the window and that was about that. The next morning she’s trying to get a wasp out of the window for 5 mins and gives me a full view of her little arse in booty PJ shorts before going to work.
I’ve come home now but we’re all meeting at a campsite in a month where I’ll be with them all for a few days.
I just don’t know where I am with this anymore. Up until the night where I didn’t close the deal the first time everything felt like it was progressing naturally and I was in the drivers’ seat. Now since I didn’t make a move, her subconscious beta detector has probably been triggered, and she is rationalising my actions to my detriment, exemplified by her cooling off attitude, and I have since had to double my efforts to seem aloof and unperturbed as to re-convince her of my alpha status and win back her affections and investment.
At this point I’m not sure if I’m in now in the ‘non sex worthy guy, friendzone’, or I haven’t qualified her enough verbally and she she’s pulled back somewhat because she does see me as high value and needs more assurance that I see her as more than a hot young thang, or whether I’m being toyed with, which I doubt because we’re so close and have a lot of history so it would be a ****s trick of her to ****tease me to this level, although if she feels scorned from the first time I didn’t close the deal, and has since gone off me, she might be punishing me by keeping the charade going, or is she really in love with her boyfriend but likes me aswell, or maybe it’s a combination of those things.
I wanna know what you guys think in terms of where I stand, and what my next moves are.
Any advice from you experienced playas out there would be appreciated.
