Unsuccessful Cold Approach

[wrender]

I tried a cold-approach at the gym today. First-off let me start by saying that I never really thought it to be a good idea to do this at a health club. But I see it listed here as one of the "great" places to meet women. The problem I see with it is that first off, the girls are sweaty and seem as though they would be self-consience of themselves when a guy approaches them. Secondly, it's tough to be the alpha when there are so many big muscle guys roaming around.

Anyhow... here's how it went:

I saw her on the treadmill, so I waited around and did some more excersises until she finally was finished. She went to a machine in my vicinity so took advantage of the opportunity.

I simply said "hi, how are you?" (she then looks at me with a stunned look on her face and says "oh fine")

Me: "What's your name?"
Her: "Natalie"
Me: "It's nice to meet you. I've seen you here once before when you first joined, when they were showing you around"
Her: "Oh really?"
Me: "Anyhow, I thought you were attractive so I figured I'd come by and say hello. Do you have a boyfriend?"
Her: "Yes, actually, I do"
Me: "Oh well, that's too bad"
Her:: ------
Me: "Anyway it was nice meeting you Natalie"

Now I know one of the first things someone will say is that I should have ignored the fact that she said she had a boyfriend. But I was sensing that she just wasn't interested. She seemed almost creeped out. I was hoping for a bit more welcome response.

I guess maybe I should have worked on building some rapport first instead of just jumping in and hitting on her. I don't know. Any thoughts would be appreciated. I have a much easier time connecting with women in other social environments (bars, parties, etc) then in places like this where people seem to get shocked by it.

 

[insidious]

Props dude, sounds like it was a first for you.

Every great journey starts with a small step..and this WAS a small step!

You should not have alluded to having remembered her from her initiation tour, and you definitely should not have told her you found her attractive.

Your simple act of approaching her tells her all she needs to know and the fact that she knows you've stored her in your memory banks (while she probably hasn't stored you) doesn't bode well for you taking charge of this interaction.

 

[NorPacWolf]

!!!

Nice! Fearless! I'm proud of you. It's pretty clear you learned a lot from that first approach.

When you say that a woman is attractive, that's a statement of intent, or SOI. Typically, you're better off giving an SOI after she reveals some aspect of her personality to you that you find genuinely impressive. See the difference?

Guys are always complimenting on appearance so if you compliment based on her personality, you show higher value than other guys.

Check out the dj bootcamp. It's like a rollercoaster ride and very empowering. I also recommend mystery's ebook and juggler's ebook.

Man, I am so proud of you!


Wolf

I tried a cold-approach at the gym today. First-off let me start by saying that I never really thought it to be a good idea to do this at a health club. But I see it listed here as one of the "great" places to meet women. The problem I see with it is that first off, the girls are sweaty and seem as though they would be self-consience of themselves when a guy approaches them. Secondly, it's tough to be the alpha when there are so many big muscle guys roaming around.

Anyhow... here's how it went:

I saw her on the treadmill, so I waited around and did some more excersises until she finally was finished. She went to a machine in my vicinity so took advantage of the opportunity.

I simply said "hi, how are you?" (she then looks at me with a stunned look on her face and says "oh fine")

Me: "What's your name?"
Her: "Natalie"
Me: "It's nice to meet you. I've seen you here once before when you first joined, when they were showing you around"
Her: "Oh really?"
Me: "Anyhow, I thought you were attractive so I figured I'd come by and say hello. Do you have a boyfriend?"
Her: "Yes, actually, I do"
Me: "Oh well, that's too bad"
Her:: ------
Me: "Anyway it was nice meeting you Natalie"

Now I know one of the first things someone will say is that I should have ignored the fact that she said she had a boyfriend. But I was sensing that she just wasn't interested. She seemed almost creeped out. I was hoping for a bit more welcome response.

I guess maybe I should have worked on building some rapport first instead of just jumping in and hitting on her. I don't know. Any thoughts would be appreciated. I have a much easier time connecting with women in other social environments (bars, parties, etc) then in places like this where people seem to get shocked by it.

 

[wrender]

Thanks for the props guys.

I'll just have to focus more on starting a witty conversation and stay away from physical compliments. But I do try to learn from these experiences. This is actually the 2nd cold approach I've tried in recent memory. The first was about a month back and it went the same way. I definately don't intend on giving up.

One of the things I'm unsure of is how brief to keep these things. In situations like this, the girl is often busy or in the middle of something. So there has to be a fairly quick and consice way to close. But without establishing good rapport, what are the chances of getting a phone number? It's much different than at bars, parties or gatherings where you can speak to them for a bit, go do something else for a while and come back and so forth. Trust and credibility is gained and by the end of the night, chances of getting the digits is much better.

I also recommend mystery's ebook and juggler's ebook.

Happen to have a link to these ebooks?