Unlearning

[WestCoaster]

One of the toughest concepts for me is UNLEARNING. Heck, learning is simple, we've been doing it since we were infants. Unlearning is the tough thing. I was ignorant of this until coming to this board ... Rollo touches on this topic well. We've been so programmed to think, act, and feel a certain way, doing anything different -- especially when it comes to women and matters of the heart -- that we don't know any better.

I'm a former runner in high school and college, so I'm interested in distance running and track and field. Even if you're not into running, there's a great story about unlearning in this month's Runner's World magazine. It's written by the fine writer Kenny Moore, a former Olympic marathoner. The story is about legendary coach Bill Bowerman, who invented NIKE shoes, coached Steve Prefontaine and was the head coach at Oregon.

When Moore was in high school he thought he had to pound 100-mile weeks, never rest, and just bust it every day ... despite that he had never won a race even in high school. He comes up to Bowerman after a workout, sniffling and ailing and Bowerman says, "How can you ever be anything if you're always sick?"

He never UNLEARNED in that in distance running there must be light days and rest days. (Trust me on this, I used to hammer also and got injured.) Bowerman -- a former war hero -- grabbed Moore semi-gently by the throat and said, "If I or anyone sees you running when you're not supposed to be, you will no longer run at Oregon." Bowerman had friends all over town who would report to him as would Moore's teammates, so he couldn't sneak in a run if he wanted to.

Moore UNLEARNED his ways from a threat from his coach and went on to start winning big and land a berth on an Olympic team, finishing 4th in the Olympic marathon.

My long diatribe here remotely relates to our topics here. If what you're doing is wrong -- and I still do things wrong -- you must UNLEARN what's been programmed into your head.

If you can find the article at your library or local bookstore, I highly suggest reading it. I think it's the December issue with Paula Radcliffe on it (the story is not online).

Perhaps some of us (me included) need someone to put their hands on our throat and tell us to change our ways.

Unlearn!

 

[WestCoaster]

Semantics

Unlearning, de-programming, re-programming, however you want to call it is fine with me.

Not everything we've learned is correct, by the way. The way U.S. history is taught in this country is mostly based on myth and feel-good emotions, not fact. I would suggest people unlearn that in a hurry. (I.E. Columbus first landed in the Carribean, not the continental U.S. ... look it up.)

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

I love these topics. It raises such controversy and thought-provoking posts.

-------------------------

I would suggest a new bible be built, but from the ground up.

Why?

Because if you read a few of the good "manuals" on changing your dynamic with women, they begin with awakening the man to 'why'. Why did they end up where they are? Why are they currently doing what they do?

See David D's FIRST DYD. Yes, his newer stuff is not up my avenue, but the CD program is the most complete program of the transformation of a noob to a true man. Of awakening himself and regaining his personal power. I bought Sexual Communication, but it's only a rehash of DYD and ****y & Funny. It's overkill, with little new insight for the extra cash outlay.

ALOT of guys are trying cure SYMPTOMS, rather than work on the CAUSE of the DISEASE. We can try to mitigate the sore throat, the cough, the drowsiness, etc, but it won't go away until the COLD is cured.

Same with guys. Alot of the posts are SYMPTOMS of a deeper disease. I can't peg one thing. Confidence is just another "band-aid" on Fear and Insecurity. So is building a better body. It's just a front for the REAL problem.

Not all beautiful women are beautiful on the inside. Sometimes it's just overt compensation for what IS NOT on the inside. This isn't to say that ALL beautiful women are fvcked up, but that don't be misled by appearances.

Jim Rohn has a statement that you don't exchange 1 value for another value. And it's right. It's like selling your soul to the devil for s/t money, yet l/t pain and damnation. That's what happens when you work a shyt load, but miss out on the family/social side of life. You only exchanged one value of life for another; there's no net gain.

--------------------------

Unlearning, in other words, is like Enlightenment.

It's like "Oh, you mean beautiful women don't necessarily need the hottest Metrosexual?"

"You mean I can speak my mind, and women will like me MORE?"

"You mean women DESIRE sex MORE than we do?"

"You mean I can chance my circumstances?"

YES, YES, and YES.

Unlearning, in my estimation, comes from challenging your beliefs, because they are the prison upon which you limit your life. I don't need to go deep here to point it out, because it was those who challenged currently held beliefs
that succeeded to this point and will continue to succeed.

But begin, where do beliefs come from?

Normally through observations, experiences, that are filtered through our minds. As youth, all those 5 senses are loaded up into the mind. From them on out, you learn to look through that lense upon the world, and only see it from 1 frame.

That's what differentiates all of us. From the bigot, to the wealthy, to the poor, to the feminist, to the athlete, to the underachiever. A program was installed, the senses built around it, then from there going forward they're on auto-pilot, and that frame is re inforced or de inforced and broken down. It's strengthened or weakened.

------------------------

I would RECO reading books like "An Underground History of American Education", "The Book", "Awareness," and stuff by Stuart Wilde. I can by men, they're great books. The mind has a hard time grasping that some alternative programming system is out there. But isn't it?

Look around at what's portrayed, then see if it at all coincides with reality.



A-Unit

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Call it whatever makes you feel comfortable, but it's no great secret that the majority of our autonomous responses are the results of constant conditioning. And like any conditioned behavior, these responses can be brought to extinction once their reinforcers are removed. If that qualifies as 'unlearning', 'reprogramming' or something else so be it.

It's not a question of the value of retaining certain, detrimental information so much as it is identifying the triggers and the conditions that led to them that stimulate a detrimental response. Whether or not it was worth storing in your head is irrelevant, it's there and there's little you can do about it, but it's identifying motivators of a behavior or internal reaction to certain circumstances and modifying them that is at issue.

 

[Ricky]

This is kind of how excess starts.

People think if a little bit of one thing works well, a lot more of it will work better.

Nothing follows such a linear path.

This is why a guy using ****y and funny could continue using it until the girl gets upset and calls him an *******. A little of it was working, but alot was too much.

This is why people get a good buzz with beer and cant stop. If a little beer made me feel this good, alot will make me feel even better. Then they puke at the party or the next day.

Or even complimenting. One might work, but the AFC overcompliments until the girl gets disgusted with the guy.