Understanding www.seducingwomen101.com

[Donjuanpablo]

Prosemont, I know what what you're saying, however, look at the main discussion forum right now. How many posts are actually directed at creating that better person and self improvment? They're all mystery, challenge, ****y and funny and why arent i getting laid posts. In fact 90% of posts in which somebody isnt getting laid you can tell why without even having to read their situation, you can tell in the first paragraph.

I have no problem with self-improvement. You can make change the way you look from 5 to a 7 and increase your chances with women that way okay. However, a canned pickup line mixed up with some fake "****y and funny" with an allure of mystery wont change whether or not a woman is attracted to you.

Anyway, I'm not the best writer so ill let someone else go into it, but i guess you get what im saying.

 

[Aramas]

A fraud? The point is to acheive genuine change for the better. I want to be a DJ, an alpha. I don't want to be the old me pretending to be one. You have to start somewhere.

I agree with your desire for genuine change, and that you have to start somewhere, but I don't share your aspirations to be a 'DJ' or an 'alpha'.

What really gets up my nose about the DJ/SS thing is that some of these guys think that they can give a better take on seduction and personal growth than 3 thousand years of literature, poetry and philosophy, and tens of thousands of years of mythology. Why use all those f@#%ed up anagrams when English works so much better? Why listen to some deluded tw@t with an agenda when Shakespeare said it better? Is some pretentious suburban Joe better able to communicate the finer points of being a human being than Homer, Neitsche, Schopenhauer, Kierkegaard, Blake etc.?

Let's all be honest about what we want from our lives, shall we? My goal is not about f@#$ing any chick I want by any means possible, rather it's to develop human relationships of the highest quality and so enhance the quality of my life. Getting laid is easy. Getting laid with hot chicks is not that much harder. Surrounding oneself with friends and lovers that substantially improve the quality and meaning of one's life and being worthy of their company is a lifelong journey.

The 'fake it till you make it' approach is pure bullshyt. The transformation has to be real and tangible, and that can't be achieved through tecniques and tricks. They might get you laid, and if you lack the emotional maturity to choose wisely and learn from a relationship however brief, then perhaps that's enough. DJ tricks can be useful to young guys that aren't getting laid in so much as they can get a bit of practice in the sack and not blow it when they accidentally meet a keeper. But apart from that, it's not even close to a real game - it's about creating a fantasy world in which you're the star and everyone else is just a walk-on. The chicks that are worth our time and emotional involvement can see right through that stuff as soon as you open your mouth.

Of the 'gurus' on this board, imo Pook comes closest to nailing it in his later posts. Most of the others are either wanabees or plain scammers after your cash.

 

[prosemont]

Originally posted by Donjuanpablo
Prosemont, I know what what you're saying, however, look at the main discussion forum right now. How many posts are actually directed at creating that better person and self improvment? They're all mystery, challenge, ****y and funny and why arent i getting laid posts. In fact 90% of posts in which somebody isnt getting laid you can tell why without even having to read their situation, you can tell in the first paragraph.

I have no problem with self-improvement. You can make change the way you look from 5 to a 7 and increase your chances with women that way okay. However, a canned pickup line mixed up with some fake "****y and funny" with an allure of mystery wont change whether or not a woman is attracted to you.

Anyway, I'm not the best writer so ill let someone else go into it, but i guess you get what im saying.

Actually, you've said it pretty well. I actually think that you, Aramas, (and Blitz), and I are in agreement regarding the uselessness of the tactics to CREATE attraction where there was none. I, too, think the tactics are bullshiite. (I think they have their uses, but not for the "intended purpose" or reasons given -- you will not create attraction by using any tactics. What uses, then? ... pure entertainment, as a way of using any approach, to keep things moving, to build faux confidence -- remember, you need to approach -- and so on ... but, again, NOT to create attraction.)

I'd been thinking about my own ability to get women using no tactics whatsoever (other than my own individual brand of quirky charm) when a friend asked me what I do to get them. For the life of me, I couldn't explain it. Eye contact? I guess I must have looked at them. ****y? Um, sometimes, but not really. Essentially, I could have said or not said anything and it wouldn't have mattered.

That led me to the simple proposition that I explain thusly: some people just like chocolate. You can give lots of different "reasons" but they'll all be justifications (it's creamy, it's sweet, it's cold, etc.) that don't hit the nail on the head exactly. And so, some people are just attracted to others without any grandiose explanation. Often, you can't explain intangibles in concrete terms. Try to explain why you like your favorite food. You'll come up with a bunch of "reasons" that don't quite explain why EXACTLY. They'll just seem like false reasons. Don't tell me you like steak because it's juicy -- plenty of things are juicy. Give it a try and you'll see what I mean. You might just end up with an answer that's closest to: "I just do."

I don't read D9 because, frankly, I just can't stand her style of writing. I get too pissed off to wade through the b.s. to get the nugget of gold.

So, everything I know of D9 I've learned from my friend Blitz who I'm grateful to for being so patient with me especially given that I'd rather have him condense it and spoon feed me because, among other things, I'm busy as fvck. And lazy, too. And, because I happen to like the way Blitz relates it -- I think he says it clearer than D9.

Anyway, the issue that I have with D9's theory (if I have it right) is that she doesn't seem to account for the ability for humans to change or to improve. She also doesn't seem to account for a more global attractiveness which I think is present. For example, my "type" is probably any chick that's an 8 or above. Half jokingly, if I were to open a Playboy magazine or the latest Victoria Secret catalogue, I'm willing to bet that almost ALL the women in there are my "type!"

Seriously, tho, I think that the "types" are vast. In fact, I think that most people really just want someone that they view as at least better than they are depending on their own self-perceptions and what constitutes "better" for them.

But, back to chocolate ... it got me to thinking that the difference between chocolate (being emblematical of that "attraction" or "archetype" that D9 talks about) and HUMANS, is that humans can change. It's not like you're either chocolate or vanilla. I am of the firm belief that we as humans can change dramatically. Maybe sort of a choco-vanilla swirl. It may even be possible to change ENTIRELY (though I'm not so sure of that).

And, if so, what does that do to D9s theory if you can change your own "type?"

 

[Aramas]

Prosemount, I'm inclined to agree that we mostly agree. The thing with 'types' is that they're not hard and fast single types - they're made up of many aspects. Imagine if you wrote down a top 10 list for all the things you find most physically attractive in a woman, then did another for personality, and a worse 10 list for each. Then assess a hot chick on what she scores on each list. Even though you might be into tall blondes, a short brunette might actually be more your 'type' than a specific tall blonde given how she fared in the rest of the lists. I liked your intangible metaphor - it's bang on imo. But there are some things we can look at that help us to understand the nature of attraction, and to be more specific in our quest for the ultimate sex goddess (of the week )

With regard to the kind of physical self improvement you refer to, imo it's all common sense - it's just personal grooming and taking some pride in one's appearance - that why we have vanity. I don't need DJ tips to look my best. As for behaviour - I can see why some people here need 'tricks' because their personality is so repellent that it should probably carry a hazmat label.

I suspect that the people that will never get this stuff are the same ones that are always prattling on about how successful they are, what kind of car they drive, their rolex watch etc. - it's all a quest for external validation, and well, the thing is NO ONE CARES. Really, no one gives a sh!t about how much money someone has or what they own, and people who brag about it are not only ill mannered morons, but are utterly repellent to most people. Their fantasy world is just so sick and twisted that nothing short of 5 years of professional therapy is going to deprogram them. People like that certainly don't set foot in my home twice. Hasn't anyone seen Fight Club?

 

[DDV]

Aramas>

I think, you are missing one thing, which prosemont is trying to say.

Now imagine brain of infant, like some computer. Empty computer.
Now, child grows, and enviroment starts to install some programs to that "computer" (brain of child). So, he's now grew up, and in his "computer" are millions of programs. BUT, a lot of those programs can be useless, and even damaging.

So, are you trying to say, that a man, should not try to change himself (few programs, if talking in my metaphor) for better? You say, that that's imposiible, without being "scam"? I really disagre on this, 'cause NOone born with "developed" personality/character, everybody gets it through life events, interractions... You are not born being "Quite", or "Charizmatic", "outgoing" or "sitting at home - type", you GET all thoose qualities, dependint on enviroment you have born, depending on people, with which you related... so if you get some thing, you can freely throw it out, if you just know HOW. And do you really think, that we can't controll our thoughts? Then I'm sorry for you, and for all those, who think so...

p.s.- even NOW, you are trying to reprogram minds of people, which are here, by talking about all this "SS is scam" (on which I completely agree).

 

[Aramas]

DDV - no, that's not what I'm saying at all. We all grow throughout our lives - it's inevitible. Most of us that at least have some clue are constantly trying to improve ourselves.

But it has to be real improvement from the inside out, not faking it on the outside and assuming that inner change will take place as a result. In Jungian terms I'm about changing the 'Self', which is our real identity so to speak. The SS/DJ techniques and tricks are about changing the 'Persona', which is a mask or manufactured image. The Persona is only a mask, and so no fundamental 'self'-improvement is possible through it's development. It's just gilding the lily - like putting on a costume or make up.

To a certain extent everyone experiences a shift of focus from the Persona to the Self as they mature, but there's no reason why the young guys here shouldn't get a head start.

Perhaps interestingly, Jung maintained that we are born with our personality traits, although environment is certainly a huge factor in how we develop. However, I gather that Jung maintained that you can't change the fundamental polar personality aspects ie introvert/extravert, thinking/feeling, judging/percieving and sensing/intuiting. There are a lot of conflicting approaches in psychology, and the dichotomy of nature versus nurture will probably last longer than we will.

Jung is kind of out there, and to some people it's a quasi-mystical pseudo-religion. However, it certainly has more credibility than NLP (although that seems to have some merit with some professional therapists) and is far more respectable than the pop psychologists and psycho-babbling charlatans that flog their wares through this site. It also has the advantage of neatly plugging into mythology, literature. poetry and philosophy. Whatever you consider his more esoteric stuff to be worth, Jung's personality types are more or less universally accepted.

If anyone's interested here's a brief overview of Jung. Don't expect to understand all of it - I doubt that anyone does, but it's considerably more useful than RJ/DeAngelo/Mystery etc's 'Tip of the Day'.

You can take the Jung - Myers - Briggs typology test here for free. Follow the links to find out what it all means

Just an amusing aside - on another forum I mentioned something about self actualisation, and someone replied that he knew a lot of people that were so obsessed with self improvement that they 'forgot' to take their new improved selves out in the real world for a spin It's like those people that endlessly rebuild and polish their Harleys but never actually go anywhere on them. I suspect that there are a few armchair seducers frequenting this forum

 

[xblitz44x]

Ok guys, sorry it took so long to get back to you. You are all making good points and it's awesome that we can have a mature discussion about this. Well, outside of IceCold, but he blocked us anyway so it shouldn't matter.

Prosemont, we agree on just about everything. The only part that I think we're not seeing eye-to-eye on is that you seem to believe:

funny, confident, mysterious etc = attractive = she would do you

I'm here to say that:

Girl looks at you. You reflect AI (you balance her female-ness with male-ness) then perceptions are made (assumed). (He's funny, confident, mysterious etc). As the interaction or relationship continues, his true self will shine through and eventually (or not) DESTROY those perceptions...thus meaning the integration is complete = no more need for the attraction = perceptions melt away. Then you start saying "She's too obnoxious (when before it was outgoing), she's too shady (before it was mysterious).

"My opinion is:
First.. demonstrate your value and then! only then try to be misterios..a challenge. Be charming,and all will work out my friends... -lot

Eh, you're still missing the point though. Even if a girl DOES like you, and has "high interest"...if you challenge her, and if that interest seems to 'grow', what you're seeing is NOT an increase in interest but an increase in the amount that she expresses that interest. She feels a sense of desperation, that she's doing something wrong, that she needs to DO something to fix the relationship and get it back on track. Those acts of desperation FEED YOUR EGO and make you feel desired, but you (mis)interpret that as "Raised Interest Level". Again, it was all an illusion.

"For those that fall into the emotionally immature camp, it all becomes a 'sport' where it's all about conquest and winning"

Aramas, yes, I agree. I believe that stems from the DJ's thirst for revenge. We feel we were done wrong, or hurt, or burned. And now, we are ressurected, given an 'arsenal of weapons' that could destroy any BYTCH SHIELD, or create attraction, or we can NEG-HIT them so that we can feel better knowing that THEY feel as self-conscious as us. It's a war because we believe we were attacked, like the dating game is unfair towards men. Again, just a misperception. And to retaliate, a group of guys got together and 'discovered' tactics that could give us control....FINALLY! We have HOPE now! No more being rejected or feeling lonely because now we can use these things (and label it "self-improvement") until they are 'naturally integrated' and we're an attractive man that can have any girl we want. Please.

All of this thirst for power and control is compensation for the pain, frustration, and humilation that we've experienced before. It literally becomes a war, a sport.

"
I disagree with that. It's like if you take the femaly population of the earth 3 000 000 000, one by one, women have solid unchangeable opinions. 1 500 000 000 will sleep with you. 1 500 000 000 won't sleep with you.

And you can't change that. It's carma. You're done. Boohoo" -Ice Cold

Of course you disagree with that. To believe that would be to invalidate everything that you thought empowered you, gave you hope, gave you a new life, gave you control. You'd be stuck at 'ugh, now what?' I'm not here to tell you that 1000 chicks are interested to you and that's it. You can't do anything, game over. I'm telling you that every girl that you've ever gotten with these 'tricks and tactics and self-improvement'...you could have got WITHOUT it if you just took some time to get to know yourself and dissolve some self-limiting misperceptions.

I'm TELLING you that you can get even MORE chicks than you think. I'm tellin you that there were girls that WERE attracted to you, but saw through your transparent games and perceived them as pathetic, and needy, and insecure. I'm tellin you that this is a lot easier than you're making it. I'm tellin you that the times that you DID get laid, and gave the credit to your 'game', you should have given that credit to YOU...because YOU were the one she saw and desired all along. Not a silly game.

This goes for EVERYBODY. You have misperceptions that are stopping you from getting even MORE girls. And rather than figuring them out you are just trying to do some hocus pocus integration that won't attract MORE girls, but will just attract DIFFERENT ones. All it would take is to learn who you really are, and you will acheive a state that you didn't know existed
-----------------------------------------

""I think what shes trying to demostrate is that different approaches, lines and situations usually do little in disguising (or promoting) the person that you actually are. It's YOU that she will base her decision whether or not she will have sex with you, not the situation you are in or something you've rehearsed to say.

You can do a million things that you believe may change the way you are perceived and increase your chance of success with women, but realistically, it doesnt change who you are at all, and people can see that." -Don Juan Pablo



Beautiful post DJP. That is the bottom line of my posts. They always liked YOU. All alone YOU were attractive to THEM. And you were the only one that counted yourself out and thought you needed tactics to compensate for your 'ugly' to begin with.

"but I DO think you can improve yourself dramatically so that you are MORE GLOBALLY attractive."-Prosemont

Prosemont, I agree for the most part. If you chisel up, and take care of yourself, you will resemble and reflect more AI. Not necessarily ALL AI, but most likely more. The best example I can give is this...

Justin Timberlake, Vin Disel, Tommy Lee

All 3 are sex icons. All three demonstrate a different "look" or "type". All 3 probably get about the same amount of women. However there would be a lot of chicks that wouldn't TOUCH Vin Disel because he's too big and goofy. Or they wouldn't touch Tommy Lee because he's 'dirty'. Or they wouldn't touch Justin Timberlake because he's 'girly'. A girl has a type in her mind. Her AI. The more you match it, the more attractive and more perceptions you'll have attributed to you.

If you're dressing like a surfer, and get ripped abs and have a surfer build, and rock it well....you'll get a lot of chicks, at least initially (until you start shattering perceptions). But that's not to say that EVERY chick would do you. Pleanty of chicks want the Vin Disel look, or the Tommy Lee look. It depends on the girl entirely.

"How do you know that the way you would "naturally" be isn't all covered up with all the issues that you have?" -Prosemont

BINNNNNNNGO! You nailed this one. Who we are IS buried under misperceptions that lead to insecurities that lead to MORE misperceptions. And it just snowballs. Next thing you know we're covered by fear, insecurity. That's what happens when most of us find this site. THEN, we see there is something that will combat or cover up those issues and insecurities. WE can finally forget about them and 'become and integrate into a better man'. But it'll never work that way. Fundementally we are still the same people, with the same insecurity that creeps up on us. Hence the 3 second rule. We'll ALWAYS have those problems until we have solved our own self-limiting misperceptions, issues, and hang-ups and see the truth for what it is.

"Then you start doing AFC things ... you start writing her poetry, you send her roses, you tell her how much you love her on the third date, yada, yada. Even though she is ATTRACTED TO YOU and will give you great latitude in your fvck-ups, do you really think she's going to stick around? NOPE." -Prosemont

First of all it depends on the girl. Some girls will sincerely see the poetry as sweet, hence staying in line with her perpeption of you as a sweet guy. But the bigger issue here is....

Why are we doing those things? Why are we giving roses, and writing poetry, and saying 'I love you'? It's because we believe, and were taught that THIS is how you behave if you want women to like you. We are overwhelmed by feelings and obsession and lust and can't figure the feelings out. And we'll do ANYTHING for the girl to feel the same way. So we grow up, watching TV, and coming to the conclusion that "Poetry and Sensitivity is the key to a woman's heart". So we do that.

Now you're saying. "yeah, that's why we need this site! So we don't do that!" But think deeper. You come here, and you learn "be a man/chicks love confidence/chicks love alpha males/ chicks love jerks". Hmmmm...again, we are generalizing and forming MORE misperceptions and AGAIN, changing our behavior in the name of being attractive to women! So is the pre-sosuave and sosuaver any different? Who's to say which is better or worse? They are both altering their behavior and 'doing' things that they perceive are attractive to women.

"The male that demonstrates appropriate character traits gets the attraction no matter his looks."
-Ice Cold

Hmmm...Danny DeVito is confident, funny, sometimes a jerk. Why isn't his sex appeal quite as high as Justin Timberlake...who is typically perceived as sensitive, sensual, feminine? Kinda interesting.

"But, is that true? We've all been with hotties. You never got tired of her? The thing about ANY hottie out there is that some dude is simply TIRED OF FVCKING HER. IT'S TRUE!!!! " -Prosemont

The integration is complete. Now, the perceptions will begin to dissolve. He'll begin to see her for a human being and the complusion won't be there. She'll no longer be some sex godess. Her flaws will be present and the very thing that fueled the compulsion will die.

 

[xblitz44x]

"That's where all these DJ tactics may come in handy. If poor Heidi Klum would only use some of them, we might keep her around a bit longer."

Yes, but who she is naturally will shine through....always. It's inevitable. It's why we see so many posts about:

"Ex-DJ just out of LTR. NEVER stop using DJ tactics! Never stop playing the game"

""Examples: let's say you are an absolute bore most of the time. You wish to change this so you start to study humor and you begin practicing it and after a time, you actually get to be quite funny. Are you being fraudulent?? Would you say "YOU FRAUD!" you are NOT funny! No"

No. You're right. You can learn to be funny. But the problem with this is that 'funny' is never what got you laid to begin with. 'Funny' MAY help to keep a perception that she formed of you based off sight alone. But that's if 'funny' is even on that list of criteria, and if what your idea of funny is, matches hers. AGain, all perception.

"For the life of me, I couldn't explain it. Eye contact? I guess I must have looked at them. ****y? Um, sometimes, but not really. Essentially, I could have said or not said anything and it wouldn't have mattered. " -Prosemont

Heh. How about that. Even if you don't believe a damn thing I'm saying...try to look through my point of view at Sosuave. Just skim through the posts and try to run the situations through this concept. You'll see it makes a lot more sense. Jerks don't get women because women like the challenge. Jerks get women because women misperceive their actions as dominance and will settle with it over a submissive nice guy. But if the girl is healthy and see's the jerk as the threat (which she will), she will jump ship. Things like that. Take a look.

Thanks guys. Keep up the thinking.

-Jim

 

[Donjuanpablo]

Woww, good discussion here people, I think we’re all definitely on the same page.

The problem I have is it creates a module for a person that we should all be and behave. Theres a common held belief that a "don juan" is a certain sort of person, one with certain personality traits one that uses all of the million "tactics" you can read about on this site.

Self improvement for improving the person you are good. Confidence, taking care of yourself, etc, great. Self improvement for the sake of creating something that you are not (which tends to be the way at this site), stupid.

I know there are people here who arent naturally incredibly funny but act like they are to get girls.

I know people here are naturally modest and quiet but put up a facade that they’re a pimp to try and get girls.

I know there are people here who arent in to music but play guitar or whatever to try and get girls.

Whatever! The list rolls on and on but essentially it doesnt do anything in getting these people laid. In fact it does the OPPOSITE because being afraid to be who you actually are is usually a repulsion.

My point is, and I think a lot of the other guys here as well, be who you are, like who you are and like what you like, haha. Dont pretend to be a musician if you’re into computers. Dont pretend to be ****y and arrogant if you’re naturally modest and good hearted. Dont be afraid to be the quiet witty guy in the conversation just because someone else says that you should be loud, alpha and a comedian.

There is NO don juan. Theres no modular, no character trait, no rules that a don juan lives by. There is nothing, just yourself.

 

[Brazilian_Blues_Boy]

It's about time I hit the reply button!

Well, what a great discussion this has become.
I've been quietly studying D9's material and have reached some invaluable insights... I saw a link in blitz's signature and ventured over there... I don't post a lot over there but I have most of my doubts answered...

I think that most of the Techniques, or should I say, most of the Anti-AFCness process ettiquette comes to help us avoid some common ego threats.

For example, the girl has a perception of you, is already attracted, but you write her poems, call her and stays for hours on the phone, start planning your wedding, act needy and all that sh!t we know from heart.

1 - These things, are theirselves, misperceptions that we at some time absorved, and our egos validated.
So, whenever we feel "infatuated", our ego triggers these behaviors automatically.

These misperceptions are widely spread diseases... from movies, tv, stories and blah blah blah

2 - They pose as ego threats to the girls... They have a perception of you as a real man, not as a crying needy pu$$y...
When you display that behavior, it breaks her perceptions, and so it creates a threat to her ego... that's why things go downhill...

3 - The things we learn here as newbies helps us break those old habits... which supposedly, is already a good start to help us not to break the ladies' perceptions so early as we used to...
That's why we experience success !! It's because we don't ruin it...

3s rule, waiting 4 days to call, not giving her attention a lot, are preventive measures... for you not to threaten her ego... but that's not what's responsible for getting the ladies... it's responsible for not scaring them away !!

4 - That's the magic !! You don't instantly threaten their egos and f*ck up everything!! So you last longer !!
But, if, and only if, the girls is attracted to you, otherwise... no way !!

5 - The illusion of magically attracting girls that aren''t interested is an ego thing too... we start to believe that what works on the interested ones will work on the not so interested ones too...

But it isn't like that !! How many times have you said to yourself: "Sh!t, nothing works with this b!tch!"
It's because she's not attracted to you... or she was, and you blew it...

The Ego is the great mother of all b!tches... It is its need of validation that causes one-itis to people...
It creates the ilusion that one girl is so very special and only after getting her you'll be happy... and you go on and on with that mental masturbation until you finally learn your lesson.


It's hard... I know it sucks... but it's the truth... like the Stones tune says: "You can't always get what you want..."

If you start to think of all the chicks you did not get... probably they were never interested you... what you've interpreted as interested was nothing more than your ego's delusion...

Or she indeed was interested in the beginnig, but you managed to somehow threaten her ego... and BANG! It's over boy !!

The ALL MIGHTY ****y and Funny is about that: if she makes a perception that you're a bad boy, or even a confident man, you acting ****y validate it...so there's no ego threat for her...

If she pictures you as an aloof, dettached guy, you not calling her much, or not being avaliable only validates her image.

But, once again, it's not a technique... it's ego dodging... maybe she makes a perception that you're the man of her life and if you declare you burning love for her at the end of your first date she'll want to marry you and love you forever...

And you don't do that...it's a sort of ego-threat... she might give you another chance but after sometime she may get scared that you don't love her like she "loves" you, and dump you !!

It's pretty f*cked up, but that's how people work !!

In your AFC days, if your one-itis came to you and said: I love you I want to be forever with you, wouldn't you get crazy ??

Now, today, if a hot 10 came and said that to you, wouldn't you think that she's f*cked up in the head?
That's because your ego's perceptions have changed...

That's why I like sw101 so much... it is about getting rid of our own f*cked upness, and once you're able to do that, work with other people's f*cked upness to your advantage ( getting laid in this case)

Once you're able to put your ego aside, you realize why you've failed and why you REALLY succeeded...

Forgive the lack of organization of this post, but I intend to reach people in more of a gut-level, like a "average joe" talking about sw101 without getting too deep in it...

BBB

 

[legolas]

A great persuader once said "The true art of persuasion lies in your ability to know who you are and present yourself in a way that makes you attractive in the eyes of others"

'nuf said.

 

[DDV]

Donjuanpablo:

creating something that you are not (which tends to be the way at this site), stupid.

How do you know WHO you are?? I'f you'd study basic psychology (if you want, I can search for a link, to very good txt about human personality..) you'd know, that there isn't any ID.. yes, we feel, like we "are", like it's our "personality", just 'cause we have bodies... though, it'd take too much time to write to explain it more clear. the truth is, that there is no truth

 

[Mr.Hash wid da Stash]

Just curious here, but how many of you DJ's here that are around a 5-6 in the looks department are fukking some juicy HB8's kunt?

Now how many ACF guys here who are around a 7-8 in the looks category are banging HB's8+?

I think the better looking ACF will win, because MOST(95%) hot babes don't go after icky dudes, no matter how good their DJing skills are.

Really, these hot babes are looking for DJ's alright, but they're are alot of good looking DJ's out there too. I agree totally with the dude that made the comment about how if a ug girl came up to you, doesn't matter how much she applied kino, humour etc etc... If you don't find her physically attractive nothing in her personality is gonna you change your mind, and that's the same for when guys go up to girls trying to "charm" her. If she's a babe, and the dudes an ug and he's tryin' to pick her up= no success. Trust me I know.

I got buddies who ain't pretty at all but they have a wicked sense of humour(make all sorts of girls laugh), great personality all round.... have they ever fukked or even dated a HB8+? NOPE.

So now most are still single, still trying and trying to get a HB... My other ug pals have found someone alright, someone in their physical "league"(ug chicks for ug guys, hot chicks for hot guys) Sad but true, unfortunately....

 

[xblitz44x]

Well, Mr. Hash...you have to also be able to take the initiative and make things happen. A lot of AFCs can't and won't do that. I was a good looking guy back in high school but I was kinda shy, funny, yet reserved. I could tell girls liked me but I'd never get the dynamic started to actually make something happen. That's where I believe it helps to have some type of guidence...in the way of encouraging guys WHEN it's good to push things forward, and when you should cut your losses.

 

[DDV]

So now most are still single, still trying and trying to get a HB... My other ug pals have found someone alright, someone in their physical "league"(ug chicks for ug guys, hot chicks for hot guys) Sad but true, unfortunately.... [/B]

Well... we are talking here about Archetype Ideal (AI) (which isn't all about looks)... so even ugly guy have a chance to get a HB, if he meets her AI. I guess..

 

[Aramas]

This is taken from another post in response to something Ice asked - I thought it might be useful in here. Blitz has a better understanding of this stuff than I do, so I'd be interested to hear how he thinks I did with the synopsis.

D's stuff is closely based on Jungian psycholgy but delivered in more contemporary layman's terms. It's not original - it's more of a compilation filtered through D's experiences. It would take years to read all of the stuff that it's derived from, and decades to experience and digest it - it only takes a few months to get through D's stuff, and you can see results in the first month if you get with the program.

• Every human has an AI - an Archetypal Ideal, which is in some ways analagous to Jung's Anima. Our AI is our image of the perfect woman, with all of the physical and personality traits that we find most attractive - usually the polar opposites of our own. When we are attracted to someone it is because we see (AI) aspects of them that are underdeveloped in ourselves and we attempt to integate those aspects by spending time with them, preferably (in the case of hot chicks) by f@#%ing their brains out. eg a guy sees a hot chick that's very outgoing when he's more introspective, an alliance forms during which both people integrate those aspects and become more balanced. The guy would become more outgoing and the chick would become more self aware. This is the basis and purpose of all human relationships and is an unconscious process.
  
• D uses the word 'ego' in the layman's sense (an aspect of the unconscious that is like a 2 year old that wants everything it sees), which can be confusing. However, by not allowing ourselves to be driven by ego we not only become more objective, but also less vulnerable, since it's the ego that freaks out when we're rejected. Distancing oneself from the ego also allows us to be more perceptive and notice the opportunities that are presented to us, instead of just blindly going after chicks that show no interest in us.
  
• There are only 3 possible reactions from a chick - attraction, repulsion and indifference, and chicks know in the first few seconds which camp a guy falls into. If a chick is attracted to us then all we have to do is not f@#% it up - nature takes care of the rest. If a chick is repulsed (ie we present no aspects of their AI) then there's really not much you can do about it. You could of course find out what her AI is and fake it so she's interested, but that's not only fraudulent, but sad and pathetic, since no integration is possible from such a tie. If she's indifferent then it all comes down to threat vs gratification - if you can convince her that there's fun to be had at minimal risk to her ego, and don't f@$% it up, then you're in.
  
• Everything happens for a reason, and that reason is self actualisation. When we focus on getting close to a chick that has strong AI qualities, situations in which we can establish an appropriate tie are actually manifested (through the collective unconscious and synchronicity) - ie if we decide our AI is an outgoing hot blonde with big tits then they'll start showing up and presenting themselves as opportunities - assuming you're actually out there looking, of course. Don't ask me how the collective unconscious works or even what it is - suffice to say that it's supposedly some kind of unconscious connection between all human beings. If you want more detail then I'll post a Joseph Campbell quote in which he gives a synopsis of one of Schopenhauer's essays. Interestingly Jung maintained that it was through our anima (AI) that we communicate with the collective unconscious.
  
• Everyone on this board has or has had some kind of fear related block that has interfered with not only getting laid, but with the process of self actualisation. Nearly everyone has this deep seated fear which can have many causes. D refers to it as the Alpha Demon, and by identifying the cause of that fear and dealing with it, whether it was some kind of childhood trauma or whether it was just something learned from socially inept parents, we can gag it and eventually conquer it.

 

[DDV]

Aramas>

Very true...

"If you want more detail then I'll post a Joseph Campbell quote in which he gives a synopsis of one of Schopenhauer's essays." - of course we want


IMHO this therad should be BUMP'ed forever, 'cause it shows some VERY surprising and even unbelieveable info, that all this "DJing" is just illusion, we have created for ouerselves to protect our egos...

 

[cynetix]

The Great Revelation

The main objections against the Jungian Synchronicity stuff and the Sexual Dynamics stuff presented by Destini9 are:

1. It's too easy. If getting chicks and getting laid were "that easy," none of us would be here.

2. It's OBVIOUS that technique or, as they say, improvements to your game, helps you get better results. Therefore you can't knock the 3-second rule, you can't knock SS, because THEY DELIVER.

Both of these are easy to address. It's important, first, to not assume that one way (DJ approaches vs. SD awareness) is better than the other. Then evaluate the following:

We have a lot of unlearning to do.

Sosuave.com packages this "unlearning" as learning. Learn to approach women and to get over your fear. Learn to ask open-ended questions to stimulate interesting conversation. Learn to not call her every day because you should have a life of your own. Try these "****y and funny" tips to make her laugh and project your confidence and sense of humor.

Seducingwomen101.com realizes that this "unlearning" is EXACTLY such--and criticizes "learning" more technique because it is the backward approach. Sexual Dynamics theory shows us that we have been culturally programmed to have fears...and with sufficient self-examination you can get rid of them and be all you can be--perhaps more than you ever imagined was possible before. Oh, it sounds easy. But the more and stronger your inner (hidden) fears are, the harder it will be.

These are two ways to the same concept. One could liken the DJ route as sort of meandering, perhaps scenic and full of (mis)adventure, while the SW101 route as straight to the target, but straight uphill. REALIZE:

There will come a point in the life of the DJ following the sosuave.com theories and methods where he must, unless he is deficient in capacity for self-awareness, discover that the tactics he used to get where he was was not the source of his improvement. To be absolutely certain, the tactics were an impetus, pushing him forward to self-improvement, and thus COULD be argued to have played a role in his success. But they were not in and of themselves "all that."

Therefore.

Technique is great. But understand that all it is doing is pushing you to improve yourself. That is the key that will allow us all to agree.

And, of course, get better.

cynetix

 

[DDV]

Cybetix>

"DJing is an illusion?! How dare you say such a thing? The stuff I've learned here turned me from a simpering AFC into something much, much better." - well. my first reaction, was almost the same. Just read this thread, from the start, and maybe you'll understand, 'cause you ask questions, wich have been answered..

And believe me, all "this", is WAY more simple than you can imagine...


"1. It's too easy. If getting chicks and getting laid were "that easy," none of us would be here." - Just look around, how many people, without knowing anything about any "techniques", meets, have a relationship, have sex... yes - it is so easy. Nature managed it to be so, just people started to rationalize it too much..

 

[cynetix]

DDV,

The questions I asked were rhetorical . I was presenting some of the standard "problems" that sosuave.com and sw101.com have against each other...when actually we should all be in agreement.

I edited my post to make it clearer. Thankie!

cynetix