GreatHornedOwl
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 11, 2010
- Messages
- 390
- Reaction score
- 322
- Age
- 41
I've been cutting my teeth from the bar scene in Chicago and Milwaukee for the past 3 years, and I have to say it can be brutal out there, as most guys know. You better bring thick skin, and a good game plan. Over the years, I've formulated a pretty decent one.
A common scenario for guys is this - I chatted with this hot girl for 15 minutes and got her number. She seemed interested, but I never heard from her again. What happened?
The funny thing about phone numbers is that they don't always equal interest. For starters, women are out on the weekends fully expecting guys to ask for it. In other words, their guard is up. And if it's one thing I've learned about the bars; don't ever chit chat with a girl for 15 minutes. I don't care what any PUA tells you about trying to establish value, etc. It will backfire. Which brings me to the second thing I've learned. Have you ever actually seen a guy waltz up to a group of attractive girls and try to gain social value? I have. It's an embarrassing sight to see. Don't do it.
There are a couple of reasons why you don't want to engage in lengthy conversation with women at bars - particularly attractive ones - they're constantly looking for reasons to disqualify you. I don't care how smooth you think you are, eventually your bullsh!t will start to stink. Boring small talk has the awkward tendency to produce random questions from women, and that's not a game you need to be playing. You're not there for a battle of wits, you're there to get the digits. Approach confidently, keep it to a minute, maybe two, get her number and end it. What if it's going well though? End it. Don't dawdle around and screw it up for yourself because you think you have it in the bag with the number. I've been down that road many times. Make a swift exit, you'll thank yourself later. The fact you wrapped the conversation up before she did shows a little decisiveness.
Another thing that I think needs addressing is the idea of "social value". This is highly touted among various PUAs in the community. Sure, you might have some with the girls in your social circle at work, or school. But what you have to understand is that you're in a crowded bar full of horny guys beer goggling. What little value you have is diminished to orange juice pulp when you walk over to a girl and try to establish it. It's like someone bragging about how humble they are. It's a paradox. The only thing you need in your arsenal is confidence. This is your silver bullet.
You can't establish value in a bar, but you can avoid looking like a loser. If it's one thing that amazes me about the bar scene, it's how the guys will stay there the entire night getting drunk while the girls usually stay for a few drinks, and they're out of there. A different groups of girls comes in and the cycle repeats. This is a recurring theme. By 12:00 a.m., the women are becoming more sparse and most bars are on the verge of becoming full blown sausage factories. What's left are the guys who were too scared to approach any girls, and the ones that just need a few more drinks to loosen up. In other words, losers. Regardless if you don't fit into that criterion, you will be guilty by association to the few girls that are left. At this point, don't even bother going up to them.
I'd like to delve into this a little more, because it's the most crucial and overlooked element of the bar paradigm. The prime hours for optimal success is going to be between 7 and 10:30 p.m. Rarely am I in a bar until 11 anymore. Get this out of your head that your chances will improve later in the evening. They won't, for the aforementioned reasons. The ratio of women to men is much better earlier in the night as well. Girls usually hit the scene earlier, and leave earlier than guys do. You need to swing this around in your favor. If you take one thing from this post, it's this: Leave the bar before the girl you approached does. It creates mystery and swings the power into your hands. Where did you go? Another bar? Meet up with friends? Ideally, I'll approach 4 or 5 girls and within 10 minutes I'm off to a different bar. Throughout the night I'll accrue 25 numbers. Which creates a logistics problem in regard to alcohol.
You have to ask yourself a question: Am I here to drink, or pick up women? You can't do both, not if you want results. It's a numbers game and you're going to have to chat up a lot of girls to compensate for the flakes that you'll get. If you want to be one of the guys I mentioned earlier that needs to get liquored up all night before taking action, end up talking to one girl and hoping it pans out, you have a tough road ahead. On the other hand a sober guy that has the guts to approach a girl, land the number then mysteriously leave the bar in a quest for more numbers is a much more intriguing option to her.
A common scenario for guys is this - I chatted with this hot girl for 15 minutes and got her number. She seemed interested, but I never heard from her again. What happened?
The funny thing about phone numbers is that they don't always equal interest. For starters, women are out on the weekends fully expecting guys to ask for it. In other words, their guard is up. And if it's one thing I've learned about the bars; don't ever chit chat with a girl for 15 minutes. I don't care what any PUA tells you about trying to establish value, etc. It will backfire. Which brings me to the second thing I've learned. Have you ever actually seen a guy waltz up to a group of attractive girls and try to gain social value? I have. It's an embarrassing sight to see. Don't do it.
There are a couple of reasons why you don't want to engage in lengthy conversation with women at bars - particularly attractive ones - they're constantly looking for reasons to disqualify you. I don't care how smooth you think you are, eventually your bullsh!t will start to stink. Boring small talk has the awkward tendency to produce random questions from women, and that's not a game you need to be playing. You're not there for a battle of wits, you're there to get the digits. Approach confidently, keep it to a minute, maybe two, get her number and end it. What if it's going well though? End it. Don't dawdle around and screw it up for yourself because you think you have it in the bag with the number. I've been down that road many times. Make a swift exit, you'll thank yourself later. The fact you wrapped the conversation up before she did shows a little decisiveness.
Another thing that I think needs addressing is the idea of "social value". This is highly touted among various PUAs in the community. Sure, you might have some with the girls in your social circle at work, or school. But what you have to understand is that you're in a crowded bar full of horny guys beer goggling. What little value you have is diminished to orange juice pulp when you walk over to a girl and try to establish it. It's like someone bragging about how humble they are. It's a paradox. The only thing you need in your arsenal is confidence. This is your silver bullet.
You can't establish value in a bar, but you can avoid looking like a loser. If it's one thing that amazes me about the bar scene, it's how the guys will stay there the entire night getting drunk while the girls usually stay for a few drinks, and they're out of there. A different groups of girls comes in and the cycle repeats. This is a recurring theme. By 12:00 a.m., the women are becoming more sparse and most bars are on the verge of becoming full blown sausage factories. What's left are the guys who were too scared to approach any girls, and the ones that just need a few more drinks to loosen up. In other words, losers. Regardless if you don't fit into that criterion, you will be guilty by association to the few girls that are left. At this point, don't even bother going up to them.
I'd like to delve into this a little more, because it's the most crucial and overlooked element of the bar paradigm. The prime hours for optimal success is going to be between 7 and 10:30 p.m. Rarely am I in a bar until 11 anymore. Get this out of your head that your chances will improve later in the evening. They won't, for the aforementioned reasons. The ratio of women to men is much better earlier in the night as well. Girls usually hit the scene earlier, and leave earlier than guys do. You need to swing this around in your favor. If you take one thing from this post, it's this: Leave the bar before the girl you approached does. It creates mystery and swings the power into your hands. Where did you go? Another bar? Meet up with friends? Ideally, I'll approach 4 or 5 girls and within 10 minutes I'm off to a different bar. Throughout the night I'll accrue 25 numbers. Which creates a logistics problem in regard to alcohol.
You have to ask yourself a question: Am I here to drink, or pick up women? You can't do both, not if you want results. It's a numbers game and you're going to have to chat up a lot of girls to compensate for the flakes that you'll get. If you want to be one of the guys I mentioned earlier that needs to get liquored up all night before taking action, end up talking to one girl and hoping it pans out, you have a tough road ahead. On the other hand a sober guy that has the guts to approach a girl, land the number then mysteriously leave the bar in a quest for more numbers is a much more intriguing option to her.
