Under pressure

[jcb1772]

Ok I'm not 100% positive, but based on recent signs I THINK a girl I've been interested in for a long time wants me to ask her out. The problem is, it seems like everyone knows I like her now (long story how the word leaked, but it wasn't my intention for it to)...her friends know, my friends know, the icing on the cake was when this dumb jock who I don't even associate with comes up and says "hey, I heard you liked __!" Aghhhhhh now in the world does HE know was all I could think about.

And if he knows, I bet the girl is still hearing stuff too. She's been giving me looks that, to me, suggest "I'm available, you can ask me". Under normal circumstances I'd ask right away, but I can't shrug off all the people who already know I like her. And honestly, I thought a few weeks ago she made it clear she didn't want me, and I made it clear I was moving on...but heh, guess not. Now I have another shot to get her, but geez it feels like everyone is waiting for me/watching me, INCLUDING her. I hate it. Anybody here know how to deal with this kinda pressure? Should I even bother?

Thanks in advance.

 

[eggnawgkid]

I'd say make a move fast or don't make a move at all. She's obviously expecting you to ask her so if you don't do it soon she'll think you've moved on and will do the same. But don't ask her out just because everyone knows, do it only if you truly want to. Hope that helped a bit.

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

Bro - your in high school - this is golden. She likes you, ask her out. Simple as...

Heyyy her name whats up!
<small talk>
Well ive gotta run, but ive definatly had a strange craving for hot chocolate lately - we should grab some this weekend?
<OMG LIKE, DEFINATLY!!!!>
Cool, lets exchange numbers!
<OK!>
Talk to ya later!

 

[shdw]

for me buddo... no more shots for that girl i liked, i felt misleaded. you're lucky lol

just go and ask her dont stall just ask

 

[Fitch]

You feel pressured.... in what sense? How are YOU pressured? And pressured into doing what?

Based on your post,

You like her -- so, ask her out. It is practically flawless. You guys are friends. You already know each other, now its is more intamiate...with more emotions involved. It is different but its much easier when you start off with a friendship. Ask her out -- if you LIKE her. Not if you feel pressured to!!

You shouldn't feel pressured. You have no reason to be. She is interested in you. Everyone is talking about it -- you and her. You should feel flattered. Your POPULAR.

Enjoy what you have. Take every oppurtunity which comes your way.

 

[Serg897]

yes. dont wait. just do it.

 

[jcb1772]

Thanks for all the advice. I wouldn't call us friends though...rather acquaintances because I don't ever talk to her outside of class. But at least she knows me.

Btw...is it a good sign if a friend of hers comes up and asks something? Today, one of her good friends came up all cheery and asked if I was giving the girl something for Valentines! Ummm, ok. lol

I'll ask her out. MY biggest fear right now is not the response, but what the heck do I do/say after she says yes (assuming she does)? I don't talk with her that much...so it's a pretty big leap. I'll try to make it where I can get an answer then we have to split (like in between classes), but if I can't, I need to be prepared for stuff to talk about immediately afterwards. Last thing I want following a success is having a deathly awkward silence.

Thanks again.

 

[Fitch]

No problem.

Yes, it is an EXCELLENT sign. GO FOR IT.

Feel free to ask me questions, PM me or whatever. I will be glad to help you.

What to say next? You can't prepare. You could either plan the date (??/??/??). You could ask your teacher to go to the bathroom to re focus. You could suddenly remember something important to do -- talk to your guidance counciler. And ask the teacher to be excused. ANd re-fouces.

if you get an awakward silence you can crack a joke about it.

Girl: ........
You: Interesting! What else to you have on your mind

Look playful and simile.

Or ask her for something... she might start a convo

Im in a rush but basically don't worry about what to say after. It will come to you. Just use the situation to your advantage. She may begin talking for all you know.

What to do you normally talk about with her... continue similar convos. Or talk about something stupid you did in the morning.

I was a little vague, and this isn't my "usual" speech. So if you have any questons -- or need any help. Feel free to ask.

Good Luck. Ask her out. Go out. Valentines Day is coming up. Do something after school. Go some place nice -- exotic -- romantic. The roof tops if your in a city or the cow pastures if you live in the country.

Dont take the cow pastures seriously, please.

 

[jcb1772]

Well today was confusing to say the least. First off, it seemed like everywhere I went THERE she was...and a lot of times she was by herself...like she was giving me the opportunity to go up to her. If that isn't convincing enough, her friend came up to me AGAIN and said something like "hey, <girlsname> told me she wants a valentines thing from you" with her usual cheery attitude. Talk about "DAYYUMM" lol.

So after a few moments I chickened out on...towards the end of the day I finally got the courage. To ask her out. She was with 1 friend (different one), this is how it went down...and I'm pretty sure it's rejection.

Me (smiling, confident): hey <girlsname>
Her: hey
Me: what's up?
Her: (nice, but a little confused) not much
*pause*
Me: (smiling, almost laughing a little since it is a pretty on-the-spot question) do you wanna go out with me?
Her: uhhhhhh (smile, same kind of laugh I did)...
...well, we don't really know each other very well.
Me: *shrugs* yeah, ah well that's cool
Her: (smiling a little still) sorry
Me: Nah it's fine...
...see ya later.

All in all she was amazingly polite about it. Yeah I know it was pretty sudden to ask it like that...but I REALLY thought she was just waiting for me to do it today. And why the heck did her friend come up to me twice edging me to get her something for Valentines?

2 possibilities IMO...1 is that since she's a shy girl who's never had a BF before (doesn't even have any guy friends) she might be interested in me, but too scared to go out at this point. She's right in that we don't know each other well. The other reason is, well, she really doesn't want to go out with me and her friend was just joking or purposely trying to screw her up or something.

I'm more confused than dissapointed. If she really likes me she should have said yes right? But then again, she never actually said NO...so I dunno.

If anyone can inform me what I did wrong here (if I did), I'd really appreciate it so I know not to do it next time. And is this rejection or, when you take the other events into account, a way of saying "I like you, but I'm not ready"?

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

She was waiting for you to ask her out... not for you to ask her out. Did you even fvcking read my reply?

 

[A&F Brand Cologne]

move the fvck on!

this is the third thread you've made, and it's in the same vein as the other two. sorry, things fell through with this girl. the more you realize that the better off you'll be.