u know what ive learned? u people here have no idea what ur talking about

[pua1989]

ive come a long way since starting my journey here at sosuave. you can check my post history, i used to be the "AFC" that you all talk about.

fast forward almost a decade and this is where we find each other. ive been laid countless times, been in a few orgies, had a "good time." lately, ive been seeing a girl that i actually started caring about or even, "loving".

therein lies the problem: to me, after ive been spending so much time with one girl (i have to have my first actual girlfriend right?) and having a great time, i start to notice that shes been spending a lot of time with her girl friends and has kind of put me on the backburner (hey, im her boyfriend! wtf!!!!!!) i cant believe she has a life of her own! the madness! <end sarcasm>

SO what would sosuave (you "players") tell me to do? give her an ultimatum, break up with her, stop having sex with her until she gives in, blah blah the list goes on..... and thats how ive lived my life these past years and with this girl included. but this past weekend (and tonight) ive really screwed up: not with the girl, shes still head over heels in love with me, as i feel i might be with her, but with how i approached all this.

i came home to my roommate telling him im cutting the coord and breaking up with my chick, how its disrespectful how its my birthday and she wants to hang with a friend tonight, how im unhappy that we arent having sex every day of the year, blah blah, and then it hit me. im the one being unreasonable, and on top of all that, just so i didnt break up with my girl, my roommate spilled the beans that shes throwing me a surprise birthday tomorrow.

wow, ive always wanted a surprise bday but never had one, and there it went. came and gone because i was being a selfish prick following the BS guidelines that they spew to the people on here.

i dont know if anyone else is still reading, but if you are, its not all about sosuave and these people that _think_ they know what happiness is. i had it, and now i can only hope to get it back.

im gonna try my best to put on a good act tomorrow when my surprise party comes, but to all the people that are just coming on here: dont let my situation happen to you; youll find a chick and when you do, just go with the flow and dont let all this PUA stuff and other nonsense cloud your vision.



cue all the "you began to care more about her than she did for you" or the "you let your guard down" or the "ur a *****" chants

 

[tomato]

Yeh I think your in the first year of an LTR nothing can go wrong really - basically you have wings of steal right now in her eyes and acting PUA can actually ruin things. But be careful - dont forget to keep the power balanced - if she's got guy friends make sure you have at least as many girl friends and make sure you keep a bit of game going on them to keep up interest - she does it automatically.

 

[Htienvu]

I guess it's good to ask for different opinions, but just remember it's your life so you need to look at your situation and make your own judgement.

One thing I don't like about SS guys opinion is every problem people will come up with "there's another guy" "She's fking other guys" etc...

It's not always that simple...

 

[Jariel]

It's true. A lot of guys on here are too defensive and will immediately turn hostile when they don't get their own way.

A relationship should be give and take, and it's definitely good to have your own space. It makes you appreciate your time together more.

I believe for a lot of us, it's about fine tuning our game and finding the line between chasing a girl and being too defensive. It sounds to me like you have found it and you have a healthy relationship and a healthy mindset. Congratulations!

 

[Iceberg]

ive come a long way since starting my journey here at sosuave. you can check my post history, i used to be the "AFC" that you all talk about.

Sounds like you're still the "AFC" that we all talk about.

What kind of grown man blames strangers on the internet for flaws in their own logic? It's a f**kin website. You take the bits of advice that apply to you, and you ignore the advice that doesn't.

I'll be damned if I'm gonna come to this site and follow step-by-step every word that these people say. They say not to be friends with your ex's. Well, I'm still friends with my ex's. They say to call 3 days after getting a number. I call when I feel like it. Their suggestions are not laws.

And if i DO follow their advice, and it doesn't work out, how is that THEIR fault? It's a discussion forum, not an instruction forum. You share ideas and you apply some to your life.

Haha. I've never seen anyone get mad at invisible strangers on the internet like this before. I'm actually impressed by the levels of craziness that guided you to write this post.

 

[udokaibeh]

Yeh I think your in the first year of an LTR nothing can go wrong really - basically you have wings of steal right now in her eyes and acting PUA can actually ruin things. But be careful - dont forget to keep the power balanced - if she's got guy friends make sure you have at least as many girl friends and make sure you keep a bit of game going on them to keep up interest - she does it automatically.

NO NO NO NO NO!!! its a f!cking relationship not a war!! balance of power? wtf is that? OP if she got guy friends then thats a they are guy friends you have female friends too i suppose so leave it at that. if she loves you then her guy friends are just guyfriends and nothing more and dont keep other girls interested just be cool wit them none of that game nonsense and tomato im not trying to flame you its just that this is exactly what OP said people here are doing and what almostt cost him to break up with his Gf

 

[5string]

Happy birthday brother.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

If you feel like posters here are so wrong then you stop visiting the forum. Plain and simple. I'm sure you will be back though once this relationship is over.

 

[Juan Don]

Sounds like you're still the "AFC" that we all talk about.

What kind of grown man blames strangers on the internet for flaws in their own logic? It's a f**kin website. You take the bits of advice that apply to you, and you ignore the advice that doesn't.

I'll be damned if I'm gonna come to this site and follow step-by-step every word that these people say. They say not to be friends with your ex's. Well, I'm still friends with my ex's. They say to call 3 days after getting a number. I call when I feel like it. Their suggestions are not laws.

And if i DO follow their advice, and it doesn't work out, how is that THEIR fault? It's a discussion forum, not an instruction forum. You share ideas and you apply some to your life.

Haha. I've never seen anyone get mad at invisible strangers on the internet like this before. I'm actually impressed by the levels of craziness that guided you to write this post.

couldn't have said it better myself. don't take responsibility for your own actions? get atta herre!!!! no one forced you to do anything. the only person to blame is yourself. i'm sure just like most of the people who post here, including myself, speak/post through experience.

 

[DonGorgon]

Yeh I think your in the first year of an LTR nothing can go wrong really - basically you have wings of steal right now in her eyes and acting PUA can actually ruin things. But be careful - dont forget to keep the power balanced - if she's got guy friends make sure you have at least as many girl friends and make sure you keep a bit of game going on them to keep up interest - she does it automatically.

fantastic advice... yes salty in an LTR the female has what i like to call the "vail" and she sees only you and only you looking great to her and it makes us feel great but that vail has to be maintained very very carefully or it wil lift and once it lifts its gone and she is gone..

 

[MagickMan]

Birthday and with friends? Stop talking to the girl. Don't care if there's a surprise party, she clearly is a puppet to her friends, and puts them above you. **** her friends, not literally of course.

 

[floydb25]

Maybe you're taking the advice too literally, and going to extremes. It's all a balancing act, really. Being selfish just so happens to be more effective (in the short-term) than giving too much. That doesn't mean its the best route to take. You dont want to be either or.

Most of the advice given also relates to the DATING stage. This is where most people tend to fail, because they can't attract anyone; come on too strong; show too much interest; worry too much; etc. The relationship phase is quite different. That's why I always say "do this for a while". You gradually give more as time goes on.

It's up to you to find your way. We're not here to hold your hand, and guide you through life. Just give advice to help along the way.

 

[Kenny Powers]

Actually an alpha DJ wouldn't be bothered by the fact that his gf spent a lot of time with friends because he's not needy and has a lot going on in his life anyway. idk wtf your talking about

I would love a gf like that so i could hang out with my friends a lot too and she wouldn't be able to complain. I As long as she's respectful otherwise i wouldn't care.

I saw my roommate's gf was crying once and when i asked my roommate later what was wrong he said she was upset because he wanted to hang out with his guy friends tonight instead of her. I want an independent girl who isnt needy.

 

[tomato]

NO NO NO NO NO!!! its a f!cking relationship not a war!! balance of power? wtf is that? OP if she got guy friends then thats a they are guy friends you have female friends too i suppose so leave it at that. if she loves you then her guy friends are just guyfriends and nothing more and dont keep other girls interested just be cool wit them none of that game nonsense and tomato im not trying to flame you its just that this is exactly what OP said people here are doing and what almostt cost him to break up with his Gf

I am just saying he has to keep a little bit of a grip on things - there is an imbalance that is naturally there and if its not addressed and he doesnt have any girl friends and she has guy friends it will cause an imbalance - just reminding him you need to be equal. Its not games or a struggle just stay awake!

 

[DonGorgon]

Actually an alpha DJ wouldn't be bothered by the fact that his gf spent a lot of time with friends because he's not needy and has a lot going on in his life anyway. idk wtf your talking about

the reality is that when a woman want s to spend alot of time with "others" 99% of the time its with other men... cause sex is what we all want.. and sex is the goal when people socialize thats just the truth

 

[Kenny Powers]

DonGorgon your not wrong but acting needy and trying to control your girl is not only a waste of time but just going to push her away. Imo the best thing you can do is just give her as much of your time as she gives you of hers. The OP never mentions cheating but if she is its pretty much out of your control. You gotta just be enough of a man that she wont want or need another one.

Obviously if you think she's cheating then thats cause for concern, but if its just hanging with friends it wouldn't bother me much

 

[Marvin Gaye]

Step 1. Make a fool of myself

Step 2. Go on the inernet to blame others

 

[Pimp-sicle]

fast forward almost a decade and this is where we find each other. ive been laid countless times, been in a few orgies, had a "good time." lately, ive been seeing a girl that i actually started caring about or even, "loving"

You joined in 2006, we just hit the new year. Fast forward almost a decade? LOL Not even close bro....just past 5 years more like it. Almost any guy can get laid. That's not the measure of a DJ, clearly your perception of what this site is all about is wrong.

i cant believe she has a life of her own! the madness! <end sarcasm>

What's funny about this little diatribe is you act like it doesn't bother you and you don't care, then we see how you were contemplating breaking up with her.....thinks that make you go "hmmmmm"

SO what would sosuave (you "players") tell me to do? give her an ultimatum, break up with her, stop having sex with her until she gives in, blah blah the list goes on..... and thats how ive lived my life these past years and with this girl included.

Wrong, nope, definitely not. Who's advice were you reading when you decided that this is how the members of this board would respond?

i came home to my roommate telling him im cutting the coord and breaking up with my chick, how its disrespectful how its my birthday and she wants to hang with a friend tonight, how im unhappy that we arent having sex every day of the year, blah blah, and then it hit me. im the one being unreasonable, and on top of all that, just so i didnt break up with my girl, my roommate spilled the beans that shes throwing me a surprise birthday tomorrow.

Actually your the one who still doesn't get it. You have a lot of living to do before you figure things out. At 23, you don't know jack compared to what you'll know 3 years from now, 5 years from now and so forth.

wow, ive always wanted a surprise bday but never had one, and there it went. came and gone because i was being a selfish prick following the BS guidelines that they spew to the people on here.

LOL... no where is there a guard standing at a guard gate telling you that you MUST follow this EXACT advice if you are going to be a member of this forum. What these "guidelines" were intended to do was re-wire the brain of the typical AFC. Help them to understand NOT to put a girl on a pedestal. Live your life and have a woman ADD to it, instead of become it. Your getting caught up in the details, when its more about the journey of becoming a real man.

im gonna try my best to put on a good act tomorrow when my surprise party comes, but to all the people that are just coming on here: dont let my situation happen to you; youll find a chick and when you do, just go with the flow and dont let all this PUA stuff and other nonsense cloud your vision.

Again completely confusing two different schools of thought: PUA and DJ; two different things.

cue all the "you began to care more about her than she did for you" or the "you let your guard down" or the "ur a *****" chants

You will be back when she breaks up with you.

And you really should come back and learn what this board is trying to teach you instead of reading what you want to read and making blanket assumptions.






PIMP

 

[floydb25]

Step 1. Make a fool of myself

Step 2. Go on the inernet to blame others

At least he didn't blame all women. That's what most people do. Is that a sign of progress?

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

At least he didn't blame all women. That's what most people do. Is that a sign of progress?

See, his woman is apparently fine. It's all of us who are evil, telling him to break up with her for having friends. I believe that's Rule#4 in the DJ Handbook - "Never trust a woman with friends."

Actually your the one who still doesn't get it. You have a lot of living to do before you figure things out. At 23, you don't know jack compared to what you'll know 3 years from now, 5 years from now and so forth.
PIMP

You make a good point, Pimpsicle, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that I don't expect this guy to be much smarter 5 years from now.

The whole reason he's mad at this site is because he wasn't smart enough to interpret the discussions we were having. Now he's blaming us for his own personal stupidity. "I'm stupid and it's your fault!!!"

I'm no brain surgeon, but I'm thinking that something isn't wired the right way in his head.