Typical Online dating scenario or - Cold game women play?

[El_matador]

Hey guys,

I don't know if I'm trying to solve a puzzle, not seeing the signs, or if I need to go the Confidence Persistence route on this one, or typical online crap.

I went on a few dates with this girl from match online. She winked at me and I was like whatever, she passed the bang test, so I emailed her to say hi. we live about 30 miles apart, but I grew up 10 min from where she leaves now, so I told her that and she replied with compliments and gives me her phone number to contact her when i'm in area visiting family.. and all that.

A couple of days we meet for a few drinks, and sweet jesus, she's stunning way better than pics, so I play it cool with small talk and some teasing and we are all smiles and looks, date went for like over 2 hours and I had to end it, she was enjoying it. I called her 3-4 days later to let her know that it was fun and that we should meet again soon (voice mail) next day I get a mid-day text. "sorry i missed your call i talk to you soon"

anyhow a week later after calling and texting each-other we go to dinner and It went good, she's doing all the talking i'm listing a teasing, she asks about my life and I give a little not much, and focus on her again, a time goes by quick. We left dinner to go walk around, at this point she grabs my hand, and joke and say "no holding hands missy" then she move her hand around my arm as we walk, and I said kidding, and hold her hand walk tight in-between fingers, she goes "uh you're something". Anyhow we play air hockey while a tease and joke with her. I take her home and on the way she giving me deep convo about her ex, her friends, making plans to see me again to that and this... We get there, get out a have a great make out session, as she could not keep her hands off me. (she had people at her house that weekend.)

I'm driving home, and I get the typical text "thank you so much, it was so fun". when I not driving anymore I replied it was a pleasure. For the next days she's text me, a bunch of times she want's to meet, says she owes me dinner and all that (as I paid for dinner). She says she's taking a trip over weekend, but hopes to see me next week. (she told me about the trip during dinner) so next week we tried to meet up but we are both busy with things. She was closing escrow on a house she just bought and was moving over the weekend. So I give her some space for 5 days or so no contact, then I text asking how's it going and it feels with the house? -(Monday) No response.. so I left it at that and on wed I text her " I hope you're week is going well" she replies within 5 min. I am busy packing my stuff to go to Vegas for 4 day weekend, we text a few times. In the morning I get text "have a fantastic time in vegas" I said thanx and enjoy your weekend.

I get back Sunday night all jacked up from vegas craziness, I called her Tuesday night, no text. I called left voice mail, about wanting to see her. I have not heard back from her as of Friday morning.

Should I text her Saturday? or call again?

I wouldn't trip out about it because we all got lives and get busy. I would just give it time and play my cards. BUT the fact that we met online match drives me crazy that she probably has 100 emails from guys asking her out.

The fact that she was into me, and haven't been able to get together for one thing or another, she might've gone COLD on me, the excitement wore off or she's getting distracted from other dudes online (it's probably this that she has options) specially she's a HB 8.5

some facts:
I'm 32, she's 28 and she is a teacher, seems sweet and giving well rounded. she just got down-payment from daddy to buy a house. she is divorced for like 1.5 years, the time she's been living in area.

phuvck guys - i don't have a good feeling on this one.

If it wasn't that we met online match, I'd be persistent as some women like to feel pursued and courted. but online dunno

How do you guys see the situation? how would you go about it? with online dating all bets are off or what?

P.S. SORRY about this Novel (just providing full detail story) but if you have input great. I am sure some of you have since this picture or should i say illusion.

 

[sylvester the cat]

You sound like you're emotionally invested because you care about the outcome. Never a good place to be, take it from me.

If you want to know what it feels like to be a woman try creating an account as a female on a free site like POF or something. You'd be surprised to see how clueless most (if not all) men are at approaching women or keeping their interest.

 

[El_matador]

I feel somehow invested cause she was all making plans to do things with me. 2 weeks we don't see each other and she's not so warm anymore... dated chicks from the online before and I never took it to the heart, it was all fun.

the day before I met this girl for dinner. i picked up this HB at a salsa club she couldn't take her hands off me. at the end she even said "are you gonna call me" but next night i went o dinner with other girl and I got caught up.

I didn't even call the hottie from the club, that was 5 weeks ago... arrh spinning plates i know..

 

[Renegade357]

No no no you've been doing it wrong. You're supposed to have them wondering where they stand with you not the other way around. Once you have confusion or mixed signals it's over. If they don't play ball it's like what Kenny Powers says. You're efffin out! Next.

 

[incognito42]

Gotta strike while the irons hot. I've learned te hard way enough times to kno that I'd rather try for too much too soon then wait. Chicks (especially hot ones) will seem like theyre falling in love with u one day and could careless the next.

I hope I'm wrong

 

[El_matador]

man, it's like a nightmare. I wanted to strike while iron is hot. but these:
1)next weekend she had a trip.
2)next week, tuesday I worked late, wed, she had late meeting (she called me) she started moving to a new home on thrus-sunday.
3) monday - I text her and no reply.
4) wed - I text her, she replys, text each other. but I have trip 4 days gone.
5) next week Tues called her, voice mail. I leave message.
6) so far no reply.

It makes me think that she's out with some other dude. arrrrh.

last I saw her, she had those tits against my chest while making out, she was pretty into me and texting me after...

uh chicks huh?

 

[Greasy Pig]

Sounds like you might have taken too long to escalate. She was showing very high IL but you played it very cool, probably too cool.
A lot of women will mirror a man's actions, so while she was acting all giddy like a schoolgirl, you left it too long between contacts and it's likely her IL dropped because she thought you weren't that into her.

I know this site teaches us to play it cool and not act needy, but I think there has to be balance. If a girl is obviously interested in you and you like her, throw her a bone and encourage her.
I'm not saying go all AFC and shower her with attention, but showing interest back often gives women more confidence to pursue you.

In short, I think you over-gamed this one.

 

[El_matador]

I didn't want to come off as needy. I might've messed it up already! Im trying to make a come back.

I'm 6'3'' 200lbs, and she'd would love that, aarrr, she would look to up to me with those pretty blue eyes and get on her tippy toes to kiss me. I saw her eyes sparkle.

it could be salvageable. I still demonstrate high value. But

it was from match... so she could have 50 emails to choose from.

it's crazy,
-you show too much interest and all and you come off as desperate and needy.
-you play it cool and slow and she might think you're a player and not into her.
women go by how they feel emotiona at a particuar time and men, we try to plan and use logic...

aarrrrr. it's always with girl you like the most.

 

[the_stig]

The problem is that you met her on a dating site, where a better prospect can catch her eye in a moment's notice, and it probably did. We've heard this 1000x before, it's happened to me more than I can count, and the simple answer is: Someone else caught her attention.

It bears repeating..but you have to absolutely strike while the iron is hot when an online date goes well. She wants you over for dinner? Set it up then and there. Forget waiting 3-4 days between contacting her or you'll be left in the dust. Ask most of us how we know. Most of these Women will forget you exist after 4 days!

 

[incognito42]

Sounds to me like you did everything well, but chicks (ESPECIALLY from the Internet) are flakey. That first night you should've gone for kiss close and tried getting her back to your place. Best case scenario you fvck that night. Worst case she respects that you go for what you want and is turned on by it but doesn't give in on the first date. If she gets upset/annoyed by you making a move that just means she's probably gonna waste your time byways so thts your cue to move on.

Idk though it sounds like on the 2nd date you did go for it and were making out with her, etc. So maybe you played your cards right but the timing nd circumstances just weren't right.

I always try to fvck Internet chicks on the first date. You have a lot working in your favor. She met you on a dating site (means she's horny). She picked you out of the 100s of guys messaging her (she thinks your hot or at the very least doable). And so long as you pickup good vibes on the first date, you are being lobbed a softball for same night lay. At least I've found that the majority of the time they are DTF immediately given these circumstances

 

[Poonani Maker]

man, it's like a nightmare. I wanted to strike while iron is hot. but these:
1)next weekend she had a trip.
2)next week, tuesday I worked late, wed, she had late meeting (she called me) she started moving to a new home on thrus-sunday.
3) monday - I text her and no reply.
4) wed - I text her, she replys, text each other. but I have trip 4 days gone.
5) next week Tues called her, voice mail. I leave message.
6) so far no reply.

It makes me think that she's out with some other dude. arrrrh.

last I saw her, she had those tits against my chest while making out, she was pretty into me and texting me after...

uh chicks huh?

These are All likely lies. Women Lie all the time, because they have no spines. They'll beat you while you're minding your own business, but when you strike back, she'll sluff off like rain down the gutter. She didn't go on no trips. She didn't "buy a new home." I can't count on my hands how many times a woman has told me that she's moving into a new apartment, only later to find out, she's left the state (cause she couldn't make it here, in this tough place to hold a job).

 

[El_matador]

incognito42 and Stig thanx for advise.

I just got my answer right now. I have a fake account besides the real one with my fake photos just to try things. I did a search and she was online at 2:30 afternoon. I called just to see if she picked up, and she didn't for sure she either got ****ed by some other dude. It looks like she's just looking for fWB to do things, cause she is a divorcee, probably no ready for relationship and getting close and all.

the things is that women are so subtle that we often miss it. but now that I know I want to hot things to her.

she had the hots for me, but she saw I was going slow and cool about it and figured I wanted more, and didn't want to deal with it.

do you guys have some tips for text or voicemail line to tease her about it in a funny way that says fwb only thing?

 

[incognito42]

Be very bold and blunt at this point. Text her something kinda ove the top sexual to the point where she laughs and almost doesnt take you serious. Send her a pic of you naked, if your intuition is correct she will respond favorably. I've had chicks in the same position. Lost interest for one reason or another. If shes just looking to get dyck and she does have the hots for you, she will LOVE it and immediately wanna setup a fvck meet

 

[rum]

These are All likely lies. Women Lie all the time, because they have no spines. They'll beat you while you're minding your own business, but when you strike back, she'll sluff off like rain down the gutter. She didn't go on no trips. She didn't "buy a new home." I can't count on my hands how many times a woman has told me that she's moving into a new apartment, only later to find out, she's left the state (cause she couldn't make it here, in this tough place to hold a job).

Just another example of how women are transient, gypsy ****s. The only thing they actually really become committed to is their own children....and some not even that

 

[El_matador]

The online dating world is a complete joke. It is only good for one thing. To get a LAY! Don't take these chicks serious bro. If you are looking for something more than a fwb then get away from POF or any dating site. Ask incognito... He will tell you about the kind of freaks on these sights. Most of these chicks (the ones I have me of dating sites) are complete psychos.

Yeah man. I'm just starting to get the works on the online dating to smash chicks. I have a PoF account and and a paid one on Match. I got me 2 numbers on Pof from ok chicks, but nothing on match, since the biatch from this post earlier.

Btw. i am using the NN message strategies, it works on the PoF. But I just email 3 chicks of the more educated stuck up girls of the Match. This:

"I was thinking of the perfect opening message to send you my future 100% Goddess Muse, then I thought to myself: Hmmm... Vip eh, I don't know but this little heavenly blessed beauty definitely looks like trouble right here..."

chicks are not logical. i got one response...

"Lol, you think I'm trouble huh?!?? Well I can be, but for the most part I'm super laid back. There is a reason for the VIP thing, and maybe I'll tell you all about it if I get to know you better Your profile made me laugh, very original. I literally laughed You don't seem like you are too sure about me and I think you refuse to send a VIP email based on principle alone. You don't like to be told what you should do and you don't like demanding women, right? look forward to learning more about you
-Your Goddess Muse"

so this chick who is HB7, could be a HB9 but the extra weight... She says she will only response to VIP emails from guys. I was like whatever, I DID NOT use a VIP email, fuvck that. So I copied and pasted the message took like 1 minute.

she goes from demanding VIP only to replaying to copy and paste email. Lol. chicks eh.

I don't know yet what to reply but I'll say something stupid, cuz the second you use logic is all over...

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Try this:

Send her an empty text. This will send her hamster aspinning. She'll HAVE to reply, just to see what it is all about.

Her (something like): Empty text??

You: Oh, ****. User error. Was trying to message a friend for drinks.

Don't say "buddy" or a guy's name. Just say "friend"... leave it open. Then see if she responds with something that leaves the door open to inviting her.

Her: [something about what you are doing with your friend]

You: Thinking about heading down to [bar]. You should come.

If she doesn't, it's done... unless she suggests a specific other time and place.

In either case, her interest level is now low but you might be able to stoke an ember or two and get a lay out of it, if she's the post-divorcee looking for fun like you describe

 

[Poonani Maker]

Had one from Sunday. I called her too old for me, she was 41. She messaged me "Geez, I'm not That much older than you...blah blah" apparently she's deleted her profile because of that. I said that she had appeared to have aged like "fine wine" but she still deleted

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Yeah man. I'm just starting to get the works on the online dating to smash chicks. I have a PoF account and and a paid one on Match. I got me 2 numbers on Pof from ok chicks, but nothing on match, since the biatch from this post earlier.

Btw. i am using the NN message strategies, it works on the PoF. But I just email 3 chicks of the more educated stuck up girls of the Match. This:

"I was thinking of the perfect opening message to send you my future 100% Goddess Muse, then I thought to myself: Hmmm... Vip eh, I don't know but this little heavenly blessed beauty definitely looks like trouble right here..."

chicks are not logical. i got one response...

"Lol, you think I'm trouble huh?!?? Well I can be, but for the most part I'm super laid back. There is a reason for the VIP thing, and maybe I'll tell you all about it if I get to know you better Your profile made me laugh, very original. I literally laughed You don't seem like you are too sure about me and I think you refuse to send a VIP email based on principle alone. You don't like to be told what you should do and you don't like demanding women, right? look forward to learning more about you
-Your Goddess Muse"

so this chick who is HB7, could be a HB9 but the extra weight... She says she will only response to VIP emails from guys. I was like whatever, I DID NOT use a VIP email, fuvck that. So I copied and pasted the message took like 1 minute.

she goes from demanding VIP only to replaying to copy and paste email. Lol. chicks eh.

I don't know yet what to reply but I'll say something stupid, cuz the second you use logic is all over...

If you haven't replied yet, send a final email that says: lol. I'm not on here much to be honest. Feel free to give me your number and I'll give you a VIP call sometime. (Your real first name) =)

She'll either reply with her number or she won't.

Don't worry about having to constantly "impress" chicks with responses and so that they see you as "entertainment" or not serious let alone give them any time to "think" about it or pick ANY reason you wrote to stop writing. Go for numbers in THREE to FOUR emails. If they stall. Drop them. No reply.