Typical Games? Or about to be blown off?

[Smartone84]

Well guys its been a while. Or at least a long time since a girl of big interest has passed by my way. So I met a girl my age (28) through an online dating site. We talked for a solid 2 weeks and put off our first date due to the hurricane that just hit. Now at 28, I've lost almost all patience with the dating scene and girls in general here in New York. It's an exhausting situation that i've found myself in this entire year ever since splitting up with my gf of 2 years back in January. Rarely has this actually all been fun. I know exactly what I want. I'm not too picky. Just a nice girl who is fairly attractive. I've learned that they are all b-tches, picky people, who want some kind of fairy tale ending to their single lives.

So I was surprised when this girl actually took a little initiative at first and wanted to chat on the phone at first over the texting. It was nice, quality conversation. Texting followed here and there as well as another call before we finally went on the date this past Sunday night. My "no dinner rule" was kinda messed up when she suggested a time of 4pm for the date, leaving me almost no choice but to say lets just do dinner. The bill wasn't crazy so it was what it was.

The conversation went fairly smooth and overall I'd say it went well. Like what seems like 90% of girls I meet these days in the dreaded late 20s dating scene, all her friends are married, and she too is VERY ready to get on board with meeting someone. She even mentioned how she was "mad" how her friend met someone within TWO weeks of being on the dating site and how she has been on a while longer.

I gave her a peck goodbye at the end and that was that. Any type of make out session just didn't feel right for the moment. This does NOT mean that it was a bad date. I had a nice time, as i believe she did too. There would be NO post date text saying thank you or how she had a good time, none of that. Not the end of the world IMO, but certainly it would have been something that would have been nice to see, since this was the first girl i was big into in about 11 months.

So now we move on to the issue, which is my patience. I was into this girl, and when I'm into a girl, i dont like playing around and dealing with "the game" anymore at this age, so as an adult , i didnt think it was wrong to text her the next day (Monday) around 5pm sparking up conversation about something we talked about while at dinner.

Long story short, her answers were now suddenly very short, and she did not follow up with ANY questions other than "How was the rest of your night". Compared to our previous texts, this looked pretty bad i must say. Now i've been through straight up cold blow offs, and blow offs that have been weird like this where the girls basically feel like they still have to respond to you somewhat. I'm going to lay low until thursday or so and then go in one more time and ask her out again, in which case i'll get my questions answered for sure about this. (then again who knows, i've been played by girls after 2 and even 3 dates over the years, like i'm sure many of you have, too)

Bottom line is, I'm frustrated. I'm sick of this same never ending game. Why is it that whenever i'm into a girl, it seems like i can never get any assurance that the date went well and that shes into me. But then of course the ones i'm NOT into, will be texting me left and right every day. You all have been there, you all have seen the scenarios. My question is, what do you think happens next? Do you think this is a typical game of a girl who is actually somewhat interested but is just 'playing it cool' now? Or am I about to be blown off? It is now Tuesday afternoon and obviously I have not recieved anything at all from her.

 

[thevilittletroll]

you are about to be blown off. keep in mind she's a girl, and most girls regardless of their hotness usually have many options. you also met her on a dating website so i can almost guarantee she has several. she is simply exploring her options which honestly you should be doing as well. one thing that i can stress enough is that going on a date with a girl and having just "conversation" is not enough to spark attraction. even though you thought the date went well and the conversation flowed is not enough. plus dinner dates seem to be boring for the most part. since you were forced into the dinner date you should have done something else more fun and exciting afterwards. another word to the wise, IMO get away from dating sites and get out there and game some chicks in public. wether its bar scene or day game, it really only takes 10-15 to build attraction. dating websites move way to slow, and theres way too much comptition to deal with. plus theres a chance she doesnt look as good as she does in her pictures. dont need to worry about that in public.

 

[Sandow]

Ya you're in the process of being blown off. Wondering why at this point will do you no good. The only thing you can do is move on. I know it sucks, I've been through it hundreds of times. Trust me, you know when a girl is interested, the really interested ones don't play games. Those are the ones you should pursue.

Despite what some say on this board, I will never recommend chasing (or what other's call here confident persistance) someone who doesn't have a strong interest level in you. But that's neither here nor there.

She most likely found more of a connection with someone else. It's ridiculous the options that these girls have on these sites. If they really wanted to, they can probably have a different date every day of the week. It's a little different for us guys, it's slim pickings. And when we finally land a date or meetup, we probably show much too much desperation. Desperation is an instant killer to attraction.

I've been on a dating site myself, and I must say I've gotten pretty bored with it. It's the same thing over and over again. There are no super hot girls. Obviously those HB's choose not to be on these sites cause they are internally attention *****s (whether they want to admit or not. And don't be fooled, even if an HB appears to be settled down, it's usually a front, those attention *****s symptoms will resurface at some point or another) and clearly not looking to settle down. And quite frankly they don't need to be on here.

So the rest of the girs are average at best, very mediocre, somewhat bored with their lives... and so they choose to sign up (and others have kids and/or divorced...but I won't go there). For all the girls I met, all of em look WAY better in their pics. Every time I've been disappointed when I see them in person. It's kinda depressing actually.

Anyways, these sites are no magic pill or anything. I agree, they have a ton of options. Combine that with self-entitlement and communication issues, you'll get blown off a lot.

 

[VladPatton]

thevilittletroll is right. Phuck those dating sites, man, she most likely has 15 emails from guys who wanna ramrod her, and she has many options open. Way too much for you to work with. I'm from NY, too, and yes, the scene here is full of princesses waiting for some rich Wall Street a$$hole to show up at her door in a suit with keys to an apartment on the upper east side. Surprise, surprise, hardly news to a NYer.

Nonetheless, your second attempt is the breaker. If she blows you off one more time, game's over. In the future, do it live, no online dating bullshyt, and keep it cheap, like coffee, so you are not spending much on her just yet. Let her prove she is worth it. Escalate things physically slowly. All these are YOUR shyt tests that SHE should pass. Chill with the texts, only use for setting up dates.

Lastly, you gotta keep trying and playing the game. Otherwise even less happens. Don't doom and gloom it, make it fun. Big deal, another one bit the dust. Uh, broski, this is NY you are talking about. If there isn't abundance here there isn't abundance anywhere!

Learn to be indifferent, and learn to 'Next' based on the 2 strike rule. It will save you a world of headaches.

Good luck.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Well guys its been a while. Or at least a long time since a girl of big interest has passed by my way. So I met a girl my age (28) through an online dating site. We talked for a solid 2 weeks and put off our first date due to the hurricane that just hit. Now at 28, I've lost almost all patience with the dating scene and girls in general here in New York. It's an exhausting situation that i've found myself in this entire year ever since splitting up with my gf of 2 years back in January. Rarely has this actually all been fun. I know exactly what I want. I'm not too picky. Just a nice girl who is fairly attractive. I've learned that they are all b-tches, picky people, who want some kind of fairy tale ending to their single lives.

So I was surprised when this girl actually took a little initiative at first and wanted to chat on the phone at first over the texting. It was nice, quality conversation. Texting followed here and there as well as another call before we finally went on the date this past Sunday night. My "no dinner rule" was kinda messed up when she suggested a time of 4pm for the date, leaving me almost no choice but to say lets just do dinner. The bill wasn't crazy so it was what it was.

The conversation went fairly smooth and overall I'd say it went well. Like what seems like 90% of girls I meet these days in the dreaded late 20s dating scene, all her friends are married, and she too is VERY ready to get on board with meeting someone. She even mentioned how she was "mad" how her friend met someone within TWO weeks of being on the dating site and how she has been on a while longer.

I gave her a peck goodbye at the end and that was that. Any type of make out session just didn't feel right for the moment. This does NOT mean that it was a bad date. I had a nice time, as i believe she did too. There would be NO post date text saying thank you or how she had a good time, none of that. Not the end of the world IMO, but certainly it would have been something that would have been nice to see, since this was the first girl i was big into in about 11 months.

So now we move on to the issue, which is my patience. I was into this girl, and when I'm into a girl, i dont like playing around and dealing with "the game" anymore at this age, so as an adult , i didnt think it was wrong to text her the next day (Monday) around 5pm sparking up conversation about something we talked about while at dinner.

Long story short, her answers were now suddenly very short, and she did not follow up with ANY questions other than "How was the rest of your night". Compared to our previous texts, this looked pretty bad i must say. Now i've been through straight up cold blow offs, and blow offs that have been weird like this where the girls basically feel like they still have to respond to you somewhat. I'm going to lay low until thursday or so and then go in one more time and ask her out again, in which case i'll get my questions answered for sure about this. (then again who knows, i've been played by girls after 2 and even 3 dates over the years, like i'm sure many of you have, too)

Bottom line is, I'm frustrated. I'm sick of this same never ending game. Why is it that whenever i'm into a girl, it seems like i can never get any assurance that the date went well and that shes into me. But then of course the ones i'm NOT into, will be texting me left and right every day. You all have been there, you all have seen the scenarios. My question is, what do you think happens next? Do you think this is a typical game of a girl who is actually somewhat interested but is just 'playing it cool' now? Or am I about to be blown off? It is now Tuesday afternoon and obviously I have not recieved anything at all from her.

You have to realize nonsense like the chick you've described is par for the course with online "dating".

Only thing you did "wrong" was taking her to dinner. No big deal though if you couldn't do anything else.

It mostly depends on what you send them after. I've had more success not going after them so to speak by simply making a comment on something random a day or so after and not coming off like I "have" to see them again.

Like if you picked up something she said about a sports team or something during conversation and then just sent her a quick text about the team or something similar and keep it brief.

She'll get the hint you are interested by the text but won't be too "sure" about if you want to see her again because you never mentioned a "positive" signal that she can perceive as you being "desperate" for her.

Then you leave it and see if she initates later on again. Or then wait a few days and see how she's doing without asking her out till she seems like she wants to see you again.

99.999% of these online chicks are so inundated with "better" prospects and are self ego boosting users it's not worth it.

You really just have to use those chicks for pump and dumps. No normal good chick needs to go online to find a relationship.

Believe me her friends "relationship" will last a few weeks if that while her and or the guy continue trolling that site and "break up".

Then she'll be back in her comfort zone with her friend online trolling for c0ck. Even if she did wind up with you she'd get jealous if her friend was back online meeting "new and exciting" dudes while you were "dragging her down" from all the "fun" she could be having meeting "better" guys. The next best thing is ALWAYS around the corner with these online Lunachicks.

Take everyone and everything on dating sites with a grain of salt. It's the only way you'll keep your sanity and not let yourself get to the point where you see all women like the degenerate chicks who live on POF looking for the "one".

If you can't handle that. Close your account before you wind up seriously mentally disturbed from online "dating". You've been warned.

 

[Smartone84]

Thats EXACTLY WHAT I DID. I brought up some brief BS about a topic we talked about on the date. I played it very cool.

idk though. I've just been so fed up with wasting time and energy on these dates, but the worst of all this year has been the money. Its straight up pathetic how much drinks and dinners can amount to. I TRY to swear of dinner dates on the first hang out but sometimes it just happens, like in a situation like this. As much as she doesn't deserve me dropping 50 bills on a date, i'm really in no position to try and play games with the plans or even cancel the date. I have plates, but they are few and far in between.

If its over, I'll accept it. But it does suck. You hit the nail right on the head about NY girls Vlad. I mean idk. I know i'm a nice guy with so much to offer a girl. I dress nice, I speak well, I have a good job, good car, great manners, and great game, but at the end of the day, i still feel like these late 20s early 30s leftovers aren't as desperate as they seem, or even "admit" to. "All my friends are married and it sucks!!"

There is a damn reason they are still single, and pickiness is absolutely one of them.

 

[marmel75]

When a man refuses to make a move you are not viewed as a man.

Keep this in mind:

"A woman is more likely to forgive you for acting like a man than for acting like a scared little boy."

You failed to act like a man, you will not be forgiven. Next date be a man. If you want it, go get it.

 

[marmel75]

Thats EXACTLY WHAT I DID. I brought up some brief BS about a topic we talked about on the date. I played it very cool.

idk though. I've just been so fed up with wasting time and energy on these dates, but the worst of all this year has been the money. Its straight up pathetic how much drinks and dinners can amount to. I TRY to swear of dinner dates on the first hang out but sometimes it just happens, like in a situation like this. As much as she doesn't deserve me dropping 50 bills on a date, i'm really in no position to try and play games with the plans or even cancel the date. I have plates, but they are few and far in between.

If its over, I'll accept it. But it does suck. You hit the nail right on the head about NY girls Vlad. I mean idk. I know i'm a nice guy with so much to offer a girl. I dress nice, I speak well, I have a good job, good car, great manners, and great game, but at the end of the day, i still feel like these late 20s early 30s leftovers aren't as desperate as they seem, or even "admit" to. "All my friends are married and it sucks!!"

There is a damn reason they are still single, and pickiness is absolutely one of them.

You hit the nail on the head yourself...you are a "nice guy". All those qualities are great to have, and are things women might like once they realize you know how to act like a man. And acting like a man means you don't "Peck" a girl
on the cheek after paying for dinner...

I mean cmon bro...you did the same chump thing 90% of the other dudes did with her, which btw, got them the same result as it got you. Which is nothing.

4pm...take her to a happy hour and have drinks and maybe an appetizer or something where you could have initiated kino and given her a kiss sooner than later. I hate dinner dates because you are usually across from the person which subconsciously signifies you are adversaries whereas if you are at a bar next to each other you are "on the same side"...d