'Two Rules' to happy, enduring MLTRs

[Daddy The Pimp]

Normally, I rarely play with more than three at a time, although I have had as many as 5 gfs at once on at least a couple of occasions!

Lol this is golden . You should never play with less than two . U always gotta have reserves . Why ??

Cuz youll not be that desperate to let her play you . Youll not think twice if she tries to play you . thats why

 

[JohnnyIrish]

Johnny Soporno,

Tell me.. are you someway connected to that satans school for girls (looks like you work there unless its a different tony soprano)? If so I'm thinking since from what it says on its web page.. as its primeary goal is to get women to be sexual, open and expariment.. you pretty much have your new playthings being practially fed to you (not a bad thing lol).

Is that the case or do you go out and meet women as the normal guy (bars, clubs, on the street.. et all)?

If you work there.. how the hell did you land such gig?!? LOL

 

[Johnny Soporno]

Johnny Soporno,

Tell me.. are you someway connected to that satans school for girls

Yes, I'm co-founder, and 'Head' coach. (http://www.SS4G.com)

Is that the case or do you go out and meet women as the normal guy (bars, clubs, on the street..) at all?

Or course I do - I meet girls wherever they happen to be. If I am in line at the bank and I see a particularly striking woman, I'll introduce myself and chat her up... or any time I see someone who looks interesting/attractive.

If you work there.. how the hell did you land such gig?!? LOL

Well, as I mentioned, I was a ground-floor participant.

Johnny Soporno
Head Coach
Satan's School for Girls
http://www.SatansSchool.com

 

[JohnnyIrish]

Well, as I mentioned, I was a ground-floor participant.

Johnny Soporno
Head Coach
Satan's School for Girls
http://www.SatansSchool.com

lol way to be Johnny on the spot with SSfG! (ha pun!)

Even before I saw you post I've been thinking of similar rules.. the reason being as I'm not looking for a "committed monogamous" relationship for likely quite some time. As such my goal is building a nice network of attractive fun women with whom I hope to be friends with as well as sex buddies. But how to go about it??.. The trick as I see it (which you also advise) is being brutally honest (not mean) just straightforward explaining the situation and encouraging them to also date other people (which is no problem for me).

This Saturday I have a date with a very high IL HB8 24 yo and I like her as shes sweet and fun but I know I don't need to OWN her or her ME. Its already been said by her that she just looking for "friends" right now but that was before I hit the first date out of the park.. and my senses are afraid the ball might have landed in relationship territory from her perspective.

As it is right now I'm planning at some point this Saturday to have a talk with her about this and as I see it, it'll either end nicely (rather then with crazy drama later) or she'll likely be shocked (as this type of arrangement will be totally new to her) but will accept it. If she accepts it I'll nicely push her toward dating other guys.. as I'm afraid of her high IL might become more then 'like' towards me.. which I want to avoid for her sake and mine.

Either way I win as I'd be doing the right thing for us both (I would be lying if I didn't hope she'd be ok with it though as I'd like to continue to share each other lol).

JohnnyS, Thanks again for sharing your views/rules as they are congruent with my current mindset in life.

 

[MacAvoy]

Johnny I really enjoyed your OP. However I've got some questions on how to implement Rule #1. I've got no problem with it and I actually have gotten turned on at times knowing that a women I'm banging is getting railed somewhere else at times (my jaded view of the world got me called squalid by another poster today).

But how do you get that primary plate to see other guys? How do you ensure that you remain her primary? Do you think this would be just as effective if you were in Tdot full time? I just don't get how you get the women to buy into it. Any help you could provide would be helpful.

 

[Johnny Soporno]

Johnny I really enjoyed your OP. However I've got some questions on how to implement Rule #1. I've got no problem with it and I actually have gotten turned on at times knowing that a women I'm banging is getting railed somewhere else at times (my jaded view of the world got me called squalid by another poster today).

But how do you get that primary plate to see other guys? How do you ensure that you remain her primary? Do you think this would be just as effective if you were in Tdot full time? I just don't get how you get the women to buy into it. Any help you could provide would be helpful.

Let me give you the best answers I can, based upon my own life-experience...

The ONLY girl which is going to require YOU to maintain self-discipline will be your 'Primary'. All the rest will either accept the situation, or be unable to follow Rule #2, and will have to go.

Where YOU MUST BE FIRM is with your 'Girlfriend', because you're likely to be living with her, she's likely to be virtually omnipresent, and she's going to want to spend most of her time with you, and won't be out pursuing other guys.

The simple answer I've found is to ask your SECONDARIES if they have any cool guys with whom they've got ongoing light-weight relationship, whom they'd like to bring to bed with my Girlfriend, or at least introduce with a warm-hand. In this way, the guys she ends up with a pre-qualified as being non-territorial, socially accepting, generally worthwhile in bed, and usually respectful.

Eventually, your Primary is going to meet OTHER other guys, and they will make moves on her, of course... except if they use traditional 'pick up' techniques, they will fall flat because enlightened, emancipated women ARE NOT LOOKING for a man to 'own' them; they are looking for a man to play with them, enjoy having fun with them, caress them, care about them... the things WE do for them, and other guys could too - IF they are also of the same non-possessive, non-territorial frame as we are.

In which case, ultimately, your Primary will make up her own mind, as she would ANYWAY, even in a cloistered and oppressive traditionally 'exclusive' monogamous relationship. Most often, she'll feel SO free and welcome to do as she pleases, loved and appreciation and non-judgmentally accepted BY YOU that she'll always want to come home to you.

This has always been the case for me, since I established the Two Rules, in '00.

I hope that helps!

Johnny Soporno
Sexual Revolutionary and Lifestyle Guru

 

[JohnnyIrish]

Would you mind going into a little more detail on your delievery?

So you don't tell them verbatem "I WILL BE NO WOMAN'S ONLY MALE LOVER!" but rather in your first meeting with a new woman you make it a point to mention you will be with some other woman that day/at some point so she understands your basicaly a guy who sees MANY women?

I'm also guessing the second rule isn't stated exactly verbatem.. but rather strongly implied and brought up any time she shows cattiness?

Oh and your link of style's comentary on your game is down. Got a new link?

Thanks.

 

[MacAvoy]

Thanks for the insight Soporno. Was your Primary previously a secondary? If not, how did you get her to accept Rule #1 if she wasn't already a part of that world?

Now to my situation. I'm turning 32 next month, after a 2 yr hiatus on the east coast, I just moved back to the small rural town (pop 3000) where I've spent the previous 8 yrs of my adulthood. Now I've been with probably over 50 women here which is a good chunk of the available single women. But in the month that I've been back, I've been able to go right back to where I was before I left.

I've got multiple FB's, some of which have been so for 5 and 10 years. Now I'm adding a new FB to the mix, who knows my reputation (somewhat) and has no desires to get involved with me beyond FB. I don't know how I've created this persona but I've somehow created it and it works for me here. The women know I get around, however they are happy to be an orbiter and get their attention when its offered. I think the most important aspect is respect.

I always treat them with respect. I'm always their friend when we are in a group setting, I don't ever openly hit on a women in front of a group. (Ok not never, but if I do, its a totally new person that I've never met before and she is likely new to the circle and its acceptable)

However my orbiters also know when I'm involved in a relationship and respect those boundaries. Again I'm not sure how I got to this point, it wasn't a conscious effort, it just sort of happened over the years. I don't claim to be some great DJ, most of my pickups happen as luck to me, I don't have most of my success when I'm trying to pick up, I just naturally pick up at times when I'm not thinking about it, I just do it. Something just clicks for me, I'm not saying I'm a natural but when I'm in the right mind frame it naturally comes to me.

So my question to you is, what do you think I'm doing right and what do I need to do to get a Primary to agree to such a situation?

 

[Johnny Soporno]

Thanks for the insight Soporno. Was your Primary previously a secondary? If not, how did you get her to accept Rule #1 if she wasn't already a part of that world?

No, my primary was married to another woman when I met her - in fact, we'd been friends for about a year before she and her female-husband(?) split up, and it wasn't long after that we hooked up ourselves (so she had had plenty of time to see how my lifestyle worked).

You will be surprised and amused, I expect, when you present women with this model - THEY LOVE IT. It's extremely unusual, to be sure - but unlike every other model they'll ever have heard of (the traditional ones) this one is TRULY equitable.

Now to my situation. I'm turning 32 next month, after a 2 yr hiatus on the east coast, I just moved back to the small rural town (pop 3000) where I've spent the previous 8 yrs of my adulthood. Now I've been with probably over 50 women here which is a good chunk of the available single women. But in the month that I've been back, I've been able to go right back to where I was before I left.

I've got multiple FB's, some of which have been so for 5 and 10 years. Now I'm adding a new FB to the mix, who knows my reputation (somewhat) and has no desires to get involved with me beyond FB. I don't know how I've created this persona but I've somehow created it and it works for me here. The women know I get around, however they are happy to be an orbiter and get their attention when its offered. I think the most important aspect is respect.

I always treat them with respect. I'm always their friend when we are in a group setting, I don't ever openly hit on a women in front of a group. (Ok not never, but if I do, its a totally new person that I've never met before and she is likely new to the circle and its acceptable)

However my orbiters also know when I'm involved in a relationship and respect those boundaries. Again I'm not sure how I got to this point, it wasn't a conscious effort, it just sort of happened over the years. I don't claim to be some great DJ, most of my pickups happen as luck to me, I don't have most of my success when I'm trying to pick up, I just naturally pick up at times when I'm not thinking about it, I just do it. Something just clicks for me, I'm not saying I'm a natural but when I'm in the right mind frame it naturally comes to me.

So my question to you is, what do you think I'm doing right and what do I need to do to get a Primary to agree to such a situation?

Sounds to me, frankly, like you're doing EVERYTHING right.

If you find someone whom you'd like to have as your Girlfriend, spell it out for her...

To understand my situation, it is vital to recognize the distinction between TITLES (Capitalized) and roles (non-capitalized). The Primary is the one who bears the 'title' and role of GIRLFRIEND and may refer to me as her BOYFRIEND, whereas the secondaries all recognize that they can maintain the 'role' of girlfriend, and behave with me and toward me as their boyfriend, but that ours is not an overriding relationship.


I go into more detail about this in my OPs in this thread

Johnny Soporno
Lifestyle Guru

 

[Johnny Soporno]

Would you mind going into a little more detail on your delievery?

So you don't tell them verbatim "I WILL BE NO WOMAN'S ONLY MALE LOVER!" but rather in your first meeting with a new woman you make it a point to mention you will be with some other woman that day/at some point so she understands your basically a guy who sees MANY women?

Actually, I normally explain immediately upon meeting a women and getting to a place where there's a realistic chance that she'd like to hook up with me (5-10 mins into our introductory conversation, normally) I explain that I'm not the "marrying kind"... then I mention, I'm not really the "boyfriend-kind" either... and in fact, I'm not really the "dating kind"...

I frame the entire thing as one would describe someone's auditioning for a role in a feature film, where SHE is the casting-director, and I'm not merely 'some guy' who's there to audition, but rather I'm a multi-Oscar winning 'A list' actor, WAY beyond 'auditioning' for anyone.

I explain that I'm not interested in being the 'male lead' in any woman's life story, but rather I'm looking for women who'd like to be a recurring character in MY life story.

I explain that traditional 'dating' is basically where a man 'auditions' for that role, pretending to be what he imagines she has in mind for the part - and hopes he'll be selected for call-back auditions, where he'll again be tasked with proving himself to be as he presented himself to be... Bah, humbug - that's for those other schmucks who can't get a decent role!

I AM the man I am, I make no excuses for anything, and I am damned proud to be me, and so far as I'm concerned, SHE is very fortunate that I'm even interested enough in her to CONSIDER having her as a supporting character in MY LIFE STORY, which happens to be a HUGE MEGA-HIT.

What she must understand is that I'm NOT auditioning for the role of 'leading woman' in my life story - but rather I'm prepared to offer her a chance for us both to include each other as 'recurring characters' in our own stories.

That's when I explain that for ALL women in my life, even my primary 'leading lady' - the same two-rules exist, to ensure that there is no unnecessary complication on either side.

Rule 1, I explain, is that ALL my 'girlfriends' MUST have other 'male counterparts' in their own stories (sometimes I say 'I won't be any woman's sole supplier of ****' - which goes over very well!) because there WILL be other intermittent 'love interests' as time goes on.

I'm also guessing the second rule isn't stated exactly verbatim.. but rather strongly implied and brought up any time she shows cattiness?

Nope, I make that one clear right up-front also; I explain that there will be NO CATTINESS permitted, as it takes away from the focus of the story, and makes each of the characters into victims, which is a lousy way to be viewed, much less view yourself!

SO I explain that RULE 2 is at least AS CRITICAL as Rule 1, and that while there might be brief intervals where Rule 1 might be overlooked, Rule 2 has a Zero Tolerance policy.

Oh and your link of style's commentary on your game is down. Got a new link?

Sure it's in both transcribed and as-was versions here

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[lesmurphy]

So Johnny once this is all explained to you take girls on dates or pay for the girl you bring to the bar?

 

[Johnny Soporno]

So Johnny, once this is all explained do you take girls on dates, or pay for the girl you bring to the bar?

Here - I explain my methods in this video clip

http://youtube.com/watch?v=wp5fvxXLdRI

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[potato]

…there's a realistic chance that she'd like to hook up with me (5-10 mins into our introductory conversation, normally)

:crackup:

 

[Johnny Soporno]

…there's a realistic chance that she'd like to hook up with me (5-10 mins into our introductory conversation, normally)

:crackup:

I guess you misunderstood -

What I meant was that within the first 10 mins of a conversation with a woman, I generally know whether she's interested in potentially hooking up with me - and so I begin to explain to her my 'Two Rules' paradigms, and my philosophies.

This is simple expectation management, and has helped me to ensure that every girl who I spend my time with 'gets it' up front, so no time is wasted for either of us.

Of all people on this forum, I actually thought that YOU, Potato, would intuitively understand that bit.

Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

 

[potato]

Actually I was just being a jerk. In case you haven’t noticed I have this habit of messing with people. Whenever I meet a woman, in minutes, if not seconds, I can tell if she’ll be a girlfriend, a playmate, a friend, or just another girl.

But on a serious note I’m confused as to why the need for setting up elaborate rules and explanations for interactions with women. I’m much more of a happy-go-lucky kind of guy and often adapt as rule #1 – there are no rules, all is fair in love and war.

I’ve had multiple long term relationships for all of my life going back as far as when I was 16. I’m not into group sex so there is no need to bring any of the women together and for the most part I never talk about one with another, though each one is aware that there are others. The secret, for me, is when I'm with a particular women, she is the only one that matters.

In those rare cases where I end up at a social gathering where more than one girlfriend might be in attendance, publicly I treat each as just a friend but take the time to talk and spend time with each one individually.

I can’t stand back and look at myself objectively yet I know that I have this effect on people, especially women. Because of this, the women that I carry on with tend to think of me as one in a million and as such tend to just be happy that I pay attention to them, even if I might be out with another girl when I’m not around her.

I often suspect that every guy that manages to keep more than one women around for years tends to have qualities about him that make women willing to tolerate other women in his life.

I came upon this thing about Benjamin Franklin.

An associate of Franklin, the London publisher William Strahan, wrote that "women, young and old, loved him because he took a keen interest in them, not merely as objects of desire, but as people with a different outlook, with their own contributions to make. He listened to them, he was not afraid of them, obvious principles of courtship too often lost sight of."

I’m much like this with women and I suspect that most men who are truly good with women tend to also be this way. It is in contrast with the typical PUA point of view, and one that I think more women are far more likely to react favorably too.

By the way, no matter how many women I carry on with, I always end up favoring one more than all the others put together.