Two great dates, kissy-kissy, and then REJECTION

[gradeAprime]

I went out with a girl I met on an online dating site, i thought we were compatible, and we had two great dinner dates, kissing at the end on the lips. Then she soon stopped returning my messages or emails, making herself scarce and until finally cutting off all contact. I sent a final message from the heart, asking what was wrong, and she said something like how we wanted something different ("two different people" nonsense) and then "best wishes".

This two date and out thing has happened with another girl as well.

So I dont get it-- what is going on? If they dont like me why did they go on multiple dates and kiss at the end?

 

[Hughman]

You probably appeared too clingy and available by actively calling her on a frequent basis.

Did you try to get her to go back to you place, or go to hers? Maybe she was looking for something...more, and you didn't pick up on it?

 

[sodbuster]

DON'T do letters from the heart-thats what chicks do. She's looking for a man, not another chick. Read the DJ bible. Don't do dinner dates, take her out and DO something-even bowling is better than a dinner[she scored 2 meals and only kissed?] Not sure what you are talking about on the dates, is it interesting to women, or is it interesting to you[women don't do gameboy/playstation]. Buying her an expensive meal with flowers may mean you are a nice guy[according to your mother]but it tells women that you aren't enough to win her[without spending money]

 

[Lil Game]

Gotta admit, I don't get this either. This exact same thing just recently happened to me, I'm talkin bout the kiss at the end and everything and it's really really confusing. I guess my whole thing is this: You know whether or not ur attracted to somebody within the first minute you meet them. This is why the whole dating thing and all these rules are just completely foreign to me, its like trying to learn a different language, and I really mean that seriously, no joke. If you go out on a date, and then agree to another date, that means you guys get along. Now, IMO, if a girl accepts that 2nd date, I just assume sex is around the corner, why would somebody waste their time like this? If u have any doubts that u like me, then why accept the 2nd date? In fact why is a 2nd date even needed if u already know u like me. And if u think I'm too clingy then why don't you just call me up or text me and ask to come over to my place and chill, that way I at least know where ur coming from and I won't worry about a date. This is why I honestly respect sluts, say what what you will about them but in the very least they're shooting you straight as far as what they're about. Its a much easier process. Some girls are really obsessed with playing game and I don't know if they're even in it for sex as much as they're just in it for the pure attention. Guess I gotta lot more to learn.

 

[Scars]

You failed her **** test and she nexted you. Read the DJ bible, there's a whole section that addresses the issue of **** tests.

 

[mothballs]

DON'T do letters from the heart-thats what chicks do. She's looking for a man, not another chick. Read the DJ bible. Don't do dinner dates, take her out and DO something-even bowling is better than a dinner[she scored 2 meals and only kissed?] Not sure what you are talking about on the dates, is it interesting to women, or is it interesting to you[women don't do gameboy/playstation]. Buying her an expensive meal with flowers may mean you are a nice guy[according to your mother]but it tells women that you aren't enough to win her[without spending money]

I disagree about flowers... often times you'll be the first to giver her some... so many men don't do it. They're also quite cheap for the effect too (a couple bucks a flower at the supermarket)... I certainly would avoid giving on the first date, but a couple pink roses can be a great thing on a second date... they should last a week or two if you buy good flowers, and every time she looks at them she'll remember who gave them to her.

However, this is irrelevent to the OP... it's possible she thought he wasn't manly enough (too needy or too agreeable) or he could have gotten upstaged by somebody else she was dating... those are my two thoughts. Also, you shouldn't just level off in the early part of a relationship... just a kiss at the end of each date makes it seem like you're holding back, or not attracted to her. Each date should escalate physically at least a little, and distinctly. And one other thought... two dinner dates? Boring... you gotta mix it up. Say first date is coffee and a movie, second could be walk in the park and dinner at a chain restaurant (don't blow your wad on a $30+ per plate fancy place this early), third could be lunch, bowling and movie at your or her place... whatever you do, don't do the same thing twice early on.

 

[sodbuster]

Read No More Mr. nice guy- One of the things covered is-If you are buying her gifts,doing everything she wants,etc. with the expectation of reciprocation[sex,whatever] , You AREN'T a nice guy. you are just a john trying to buy it legally. She knows you are interested in sex,you know you are interested in sex-don't try to hide it with flowers and dinner. If you just want to get her flowers with no expectations,thats different.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Because women are flaky!!!! Nothing more, nothing less.
Bottom line, do not give her jack early on!! If she likes you, then you need NO GIFTS!!!!! I would agree with clingy verdict. Personally, I do not see anything wrong with dinner dates as long as it will not break the bank.

Case in point. I nexted a woman many years ago and she turned out to be a model. So yeah, I was wanting to see where it would go. I took her out to an expensive restaurant that I had been dying to try. It was a great experience and she was still the bore that I remembered.

Now I do not suggest doing exactly that with a new prospect, but if she really is into you... it does not matter what you two do. You could take her to a buzzard screw and if she likes you it will work.

I have learned to quit analyzing their behavior, analyze her interest in you.

You, my friend, disappear and not worry about her or why you was rejected. You did fail her crap test. No biggie. Learn from it.