Turning into that guy I want to be.

[MrConfidence]

It's my junior year in High School, and I'm still pretty much in the same position as I was freshman year. The point is, is that I still can't get confidence. I'm still very self-conscious, and I just can't seem to get confidence. No matter how much I try to convince myself that I'm the greatest guy ever, I still worry "What's he/she thinking about me?". Something I definitely want to improve is my confidence, I want to become that guy who really doesn't give a sh*t what random people think of him, and I also want to become the guy that doesn't feel like he needs others approval. You know, even though I do 2 activities after school, there always seems to be something missing from my life, and that's a social life. As you guys may know, even though I'm in 2 after school activities, I have no "true" friends. By "true" friend, I mean someone that I don't have to "act" around, someone that I can be REAL with. The reason I don't have any friends, is that I'm just afraid of going up to people, and starting conversation with them. My biggest fear, is that they're just not going to like me, which is also the reason that I'm afraid to approach woman. I'm afraid that when I try to go up to someone and approach them, they're going to laugh at me, or try and diss me. This fear comes from the fact that I've been picked on a lot. But no, I'm not going to dwell on this, however, I want to know how I can stop caring if people reject me, and once I get over the fear of people in general rejecting me,I'll most likely get over the fear of woman rejecting me. The thing isn't that I'm bad with talking to people, it's just that I'm afraid that I'll get rejected, or the person will try, and tease me. And yeah, those are pretty much the two big fears, that keep me away from being the guy that I want to be.

 

[BBX]

dude, viper, whoever the fuk you are, this is the millionth time you posted this thread, I read the first sentence of your posts everytime and burst out in laughter because its tha same thing everytime.

If you really wanted to change that badly, than you would have. Either your a troll or a social reject with some mental problem, I don't know. Even kids with mental problems can get pvssy.

I have nothing left to believe but the fact that evolution has done its job and that your genes are such waste that they will in no way, shape, or form be passed on.

What do u want me to say?

Things will change?...If you were for real they would have. Get a perscription from a shrink, i donno take zoloft or wahtever the fuk it is. Your welcome.

 

[MrConfidence]

dude, viper, whoever the fuk you are, this is the millionth time you posted this thread, I read the first sentence of your posts everytime and burst out in laughter because its tha same thing everytime.

If you really wanted to change that badly, than you would have. Either your a troll or a social reject with some mental problem, I don't know. Even kids with mental problems can get pvssy.

I have nothing left to believe but the fact that evolution has done its job and that your genes are such waste that they will in no way, shape, or form be passed on.

What do u want me to say?

Things will change?...If you were for real they would have. Get a perscription from a shrink, i donno take zoloft or wahtever the fuk it is. Your welcome.

Genes are a waste? Okay, I'm going to dodge that personal attack because you have no idea what you're talking about. I don't see why you post when you're not going to say anything useful, and personally attack me about something you know NOTHING about. You might as well have not even wasted your time writing the post.

 

[BBX]

If you really wanted to change, you would have changed. Your scared and you can't go for anything, that just means you don't want it enough.

 

[Raikojo17]

ok, man sounds like u really need to some. some real help, not BBX's help. that was not cool saying that. but really, the only way to get more confidence is jus to do. dive in head first, ask questions later. jus talk up more and approach people. jus do it. it's the only way to get more used to it. A junior don juan doesnt jus start out being able to game any chick he sees. he needs practice and experience. he needs to be desensitised to the fact that women are going to reject him and there's nothing he can do about it, but jus let it slide and move on. and that sounds like wat u need help in. jus let it slide if people wanna be jackasses and diss u right in your face. if they have a problem wit u, than that's their problem, not yours to deal with. And if they do have a problem than they are not worth your time anyway. they are jus being stupid. confidence comes from knowing that info. it's not about thinking you are the greatest guy alive, thats cookyness. it's believing that u are just as cool, or your opinion is jus as good as anyone else's, and if they have a problem wit it than screw them. u cant please everyone,bro. the only one u can please is urself. the first step to becoming the dude u wanna be is to go in and actively make a change. dont be afraid of other dumb ass people, if they give u sh*t, than give it right back to em. now take that and go become the man u wanna be. :box:

 

[MrConfidence]

If you really wanted to change, you would have changed. Your scared and you can't go for anything, that just means you don't want it enough.

Trust me man, I want to become confident, and I want friends. I've tried to change in the past, but I'm still where I was before. I just can't seem to get over my fear of rejection, and my self-consciousness.

 

[BBX]

raikojo, what i dont think you understand is that this kid asks the same question and makes the same post like everyother day. its either push yourself to change or stfu.

 

[BBX]

Trust me man, I want to become confident, and I want friends. I've tried to change in the past, but I'm still where I was before. I just can't seem to get over my fear of rejection, and my self-consciousness.

alllrite, see a doctor than.

 

[MrConfidence]

raikojo, what i dont think you understand is that this kid asks the same question and makes the same post like everyother day. its either push yourself to change or stfu.

You can't talk, you didn't even read the whole post.

 

[Raikojo17]

raikojo, what i dont think you understand is that this kid asks the same question and makes the same post like everyother day. its either push yourself to change or stfu.

he might keep making them becuase he hasnt gotten the help he's lookin for yet. if he came here lookin for help, then that's wat im gonna give him.
but the first step to change is to push urself. u wont improve unless u push alittle harder.

 

[MrConfidence]

he might keep making them becuase he hasnt gotten the help he's lookin for yet. if he came here lookin for help, then that's wat im gonna give him.
but the first step to change is to push urself. u wont improve unless u push alittle harder.

So how can I do this? Should I just start approaching more people that I don't know? Also, I like the advice that you gave in the previous post, it helps a lot.

 

[Mr_rogers]

So how can I do this? Should I just start approaching more people that I don't know? Also, I like the advice that you gave in the previous post, it helps a lot.

Yes, he said to push yourself. Stop letting the fear control you. Honestly, just ****ing do it. Everyone is sick of reading this identical thread every week, man. I don't understand why you continue to post here when nothing that anyone says helps. The onus is on YOU to change. Obviously there's nothing we can do.

 

[Raikojo17]

So how can I do this? Should I just start approaching more people that I don't know? Also, I like the advice that you gave in the previous post, it helps a lot.

it's not so much as walkin up to random people out of nowhere, but myabe gettin to kno the people u see on a regular basis. maybe some people who sit by u at lunch, or some peeps in ur classes. u could walk up to random people, but that would be awkward, unless it's a girl u really like. jus strike up a convo about the current situation, or about the class. jus, get to kno them. introduce urself and make friends with them. you'll find out that it's actually not hard. i used to be in a similar boat as u, but i finally got fed up with bein the quiet kid no one talks to and jus started talkin to people and bein more open. they didnt judge me for the most part. they were more suprised that i actually spoke than critical, and they dont think ima loser. and if they do they screw them. talkin up will also get u more skills with girls. now that i talk more girls talk to me. i've heard from alot of them that im crazy( ina good way) and funny. but the bottom line is jus do it, and dont be afraid to talk to people. everyone is alittle nervous when they meet new people. they are probably just as nervous about wat u think of them as u are. it's like animals. they are as scared of u as u are of them. be more open with people, and they'll be open to you. jus step up to the starting line and rush in there.:rockon:

 

[originaldj]

Out of curiosisty what have you done to try to get confidence? You have to start from the bottom, right now I wouldn't even think about chicks or even friends, you should work on how you think other people see you.
I dunno if this helps or if you'll even understand what I am saying, but at my old school I realized that I probably present myself as an annoying kid and within a month or two I completeyl changed that part about me, you got to keep on making little adjustments to your personality.

 

[Precursor]

"hey mrconfidence, you suck. you can't do anything right. why do you even try? you suck so badly. you should go hide in your hole in front of your computer and go complaining to strangers about your problems. you whine but don't do anything. you'll never marry anyone. every single one of your ancestors got laid except you, you will end thousands of years of gene passing. gj. you suck. loser. reject."

that is what you are saying to yourself. you are allowing FEAR to get the best of you. do something about it. f*** fear. scream "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD YOU DO NOT EXIST" over and over like a maniac. don't let fear control you. never let it control you. get it out of ur head. FEAR only exists because you believe in it. you see that voice that holds you back when your about to do something? ignore it. get rid of it. its FEAR. FEAR = BAd --> BAD = NOT GOOD --> Not good = not happy --> not happy = no CONFIDENCE --> no confidence = no Girls!!

Do not allow fear to be your limit!!

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

okay newbies.

1) go to the 'Advanced Search'.

2) go to 'Search By User Name'. >> Change 'Find Posts by User' to "Find Threads Started by User'.

3) type in one of these user names...
--a) Viper
--b) MikeViper
--c) MrConfidence

4) repeat with different user name.

5) edit your post here, and apologize to everybody here for defending him or even helping him.

okay now MrConfidence, why don't you use your "i don't give a damn about any of you... you all owe me... i'm a hardcore <internet> badass" attitude in real life? i don't think you'll really do it since it's face-to-face, and people will most likely beat your ass. but hey... getting your ass beat in real life will give you another reason to come back to this site and start 500 more threads asking why you can't be a man in real life.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Believe in yourself and do something well...thats how you get confidence. Try to not give a ****, but in a good way. You wanna change your behavior...change your thoughts.

 

[MrConfidence]

"hey mrconfidence, you suck. you can't do anything right. why do you even try? you suck so badly. you should go hide in your hole in front of your computer and go complaining to strangers about your problems. you whine but don't do anything. you'll never marry anyone. every single one of your ancestors got laid except you, you will end thousands of years of gene passing. gj. you suck. loser. reject."

that is what you are saying to yourself. you are allowing FEAR to get the best of you. do something about it. f*** fear. scream "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD YOU DO NOT EXIST" over and over like a maniac. don't let fear control you. never let it control you. get it out of ur head. FEAR only exists because you believe in it. you see that voice that holds you back when your about to do something? ignore it. get rid of it. its FEAR. FEAR = BAd --> BAD = NOT GOOD --> Not good = not happy --> not happy = no CONFIDENCE --> no confidence = no Girls!!

Do not allow fear to be your limit!!

That's actually not what I think of myself. I know that I can do things RIGHT, and I know I don't suck, hell, I go to wrestling conditioning EVERYDAY, so I know I work a lot harder than a lot of people on this site work. I'm also tall, I'm a programmer, and I play various instruments. So no, I DON'T suck, I just don't have confidence. Do you guys honestly think the internet is my life? Well, think what you want, but you're wrong.

 

[oakraiderz2]

That's actually not what I think of myself. I know that I can do things RIGHT, and I know I don't suck, hell, I go to wrestling conditioning EVERYDAY, so I know I work a lot harder than a lot of people on this site work. I'm also tall, I'm a programmer, and I play various instruments. So no, I DON'T suck, I just don't have confidence. Do you guys honestly think the internet is my life? Well, think what you want, but you're wrong.

Oh really? You suck at talking to girls and you suck at making friends, no? Which is why you made this post? Just because you do stuff and work hard at it doesnt make you good or confident. Its a mindset bro...one that you struggle to achieve.

 

[AlexTheGreat]

dude, i gotta say this: your goals are all wrong. you wanna be confident, but that's the not the end, thats the means of getting where you really wanna be. Take it slow.

what i mean is, what you should be focusing on is not TRYING to be confident. if you're trying, people will sense the fakeness and they will KNOW you're not confident. what you wanna do instead is pick up something, anything, to get you occupied. a hobby, a sport, a club, anything where you'll NEED to talk to people. right now, you're too afraid to talk to people and that's stopping you from even beginning to change.

you want an easy suggestion that you prolly will like? get a job. seriously, you'll need to talk to others, and its a lot easier to initiate a conversation with someone if you NEED to than if you WANT to: the convo subject is predetermined by your need, hence you dont have to think about what you're going to say. start with this, then move on higher on the list, and youll be able to talk to anybody.

now that you have your work planned out, get off your chair and go out into the real world.

PS: ugly chicks are real easy to talk to if you need practice ... and its not as shameful as it seems. theyre people too you know