turning from AFC to DJ, can it be too late?

[PurpleHaze]

I was thinking about this today in class and thought I'd ask for your guys' opinion on this:

Do you guys think it's possible to "win" a girl over after being a AFC for awhile?

For example, lets say an AFC really likes this girl and tries to start something up with her but goes about it the AFC way, obviously the wrong way. And after the girl figures out that this guy is a wuss and not a real man and loses interest, can the guy win her back by acting like a DJ?

I guess my real question is if a girl will look at an AFC differently if he changes into a DJ (or atleast pretends to be) OR will the girl ALWAYS look at the guy as an AFC eventhough he changed his ways? Can WE UNDO ANY AFCness that we gave off in the past?

The reason why i'm asking this is because....

I have a GF and I've been a total AFC lately. At the beginning I was acting like a DJ but then I got too COMFORTABLE and I thought the DJing stuff should stop when you GET the girl. As predicted, as soon as I turned into an AFC she gradually lost interest...week by week, making excuses to avoid hanging out, going out with her friends to club more..etc.

I thought at the point when its a serious relationship its okay to act nice and wussy. But now I have learned...a TRUE DJ is a DJ no matter what, he remains a DJ and I think I've changed to an AFC in this relationship because deep down inside I AM an AFC...you cant FAKE being a DJ when you're not.

I realized this about 2 weeks ago, since then, I went back to playing by the DJ rules....not talking on the phone before sleeping, acting like im busy, not showing any jealousy signs, acting confident, not asking her to hang out ALL THE TIME, etc etc...and after this, she is kinda chasing me by calling more, wanting to talk more etc....i've basically stopped all AFC stuff, but I'm wondering if it's too late?

 

[huge_guy_pimpin]

Originally posted by PurpleHaze
I was thinking about this today in class and thought I'd ask for your guys' opinion on this:

Do you guys think it's possible to "win" a girl over after being a AFC for awhile?

For example, lets say an AFC really likes this girl and tries to start something up with her but goes about it the AFC way, obviously the wrong way. And after the girl figures out that this guy is a wuss and not a real man and loses interest, can the guy win her back by acting like a DJ?

I guess my real question is if a girl will look at an AFC differently if he changes into a DJ (or atleast pretends to be) OR will the girl ALWAYS look at the guy as an AFC eventhough he changed his ways? Can WE UNDO ANY AFCness that we gave off in the past?

The reason why i'm asking this is because....

I have a GF and I've been a total AFC lately. At the beginning I was acting like a DJ but then I got too COMFORTABLE and I thought the DJing stuff should stop when you GET the girl. As predicted, as soon as I turned into an AFC she gradually lost interest...week by week, making excuses to avoid hanging out, going out with her friends to club more..etc.

I thought at the point when its a serious relationship its okay to act nice and wussy. But now I have learned...a TRUE DJ is a DJ no matter what, he remains a DJ and I think I've changed to an AFC in this relationship because deep down inside I AM an AFC...you cant FAKE being a DJ when you're not.

I realized this about 2 weeks ago, since then, I went back to playing by the DJ rules....not talking on the phone before sleeping, acting like im busy, not showing any jealousy signs, acting confident, not asking her to hang out ALL THE TIME, etc etc...and after this, she is kinda chasing me by calling more, wanting to talk more etc....i've basically stopped all AFC stuff, but I'm wondering if it's too late?

it is too late.

 

[christz]

it depends on how far the progression has gone.. i mean if she's cheating on you and such, oh yeah its waaay to late i mean you guys might still be in a relationship, and she'll keep covering up her cheating ways.

but in her heart she doesn't love/like you anymore as much as she once did. you could change your ways and she may come back to you, but you'll always slip back into your "mode" once she gives a little and then she'll go right back to what she was doing before.

 

[Dukester]

1st of all, DO NOT think of DJ'ing as something you should do, or something you can do, or something learned, or n e thing like that.

Being a DJ is not a book of tips and tricks to live you live by- it's a way of life!

You may "train" to learn the way's of the DJ, but once you master it- it becomes ya life. Think of it like being a Jedi in Star Wars. The life of the jedi consumes his whole life- but he is built around principles that push his life in the right directions.

The same can be said of for a DJ. Once you are a DJ (and really are a DJ) you cannot slack off- why would you want to. if you are living you live to the fullest, the way you want, and you get the most out of life that you want, you shouldnt want to "stop being DJ" just cuz you got the girl or w/e.

you said it right when you said you cant fake being a DJ- unless you are truly happy w/ yourself on the outside, you cant be happy on the inside. that's what being a true DJ is all about.
it's happiness, confidence, persevearance, and every other good thing that can make you life as close to optimal as it can.

A dj is not just about getting chicks, but if that is what truly makes you happy- then you can call yourself some form of DJ, but keep in mind, a DJ does not need girls to make them happy!
(hmm dukester taht seems deep)

every body acts AFC, we're all born that way pretty much and/or it depends on how we were raised, etc.... ( many factors)

so if you wanna be a DJ, you gotta stop thinkign it's rules to live by- it's a way of life!

 

[Desdinova]

it depends on how far the progression has gone..

I agree with this to a point. If her IL hasn't dropped too low, you can save it. However, if her IL has dropped incredibly low, you'll have to go about it another way. Use that Ganji 5hit on her, but make it really long term. Cut off all contact for a good year. If you run into her, be friendly, but keep convos brief. I did this with my ex, and a year later, she wanted me back. I didn't take her though. I found women who were much more stable than her

Once you are a DJ (and really are a DJ) you cannot slack off- why would you want to. if you are living you live to the fullest, the way you want, and you get the most out of life that you want, you shouldnt want to "stop being DJ" just cuz you got the girl or w/e.

This is incredibly true, and it has worked wonders for me. After 2 years, my woman is still absolutely crazy about me. IMO, being a DJ is the BEST way of life. If you make it part of your personality and attitude, it'll be much more difficult to slack off.

 

[christz]

really all depends how much time you wanna spend i guess