Trying to reposition myself - power struggle

[PhatE1vis]

I'm loathe to post a question about my own personal life because I realize that conversations about specific situations don't always help everyone on the board...however, I'm stuck and I need some advice. Perhaps there will be some universal truths in your feedback that will help others.

There was a girl I was seeing a little while back, casually, sex involved. She didn't want to continue because I wouldn't settle down with her only, so she broke it off. We maintained contact and chat online occassionally (I know) and see each other with a group of mutuals once in a while.

So, we got into a conversation recently about her tattooing a pirate flag to her head to intimidate people into surrendering to her (joke, obv). She said she didn't need it, because people already surrender to her....as evidenced by ME.

Now, I came back with "don't mistake wanting to eff you again for surrender or I'll have to cut you and your big head off" and she said "right right right" and the conversation went in another direction.

The thing is, I feel like she has the power here. She feels like she has the power here. Is there anything I can do here (short of all that gangi crap, which I don't play) to sway the tide? Or is this simply a lost cause?

Thanks, fellas.

 

[KontrollerX]

Well if she was telling the truth about wanting a relationship and you don't want one it is simply a lost cause.

You both want different things.

I guess you could try hanging out with her alone to get some isolation going on so you can maybe work her up but unless she's sad, drunk or emotionally vulnerable in some way at the time you probably won't get anything.

 

[MR_PERFECT]

The sex was no good. Next time be better. You have to get a woman caught up in the physical and mental parts of sex. Get her to step outside of whatever boundaries she's set for herself.

 

[PhatE1vis]

Yeah, may be a lost cause because of the relationship issue.

As for the sex, I'm not arrogant enough to think I don't have room for improvement, but I don't think it being bad was the main issue. Believe me, I know bad sex. We were pretty solid there, and I'd get her to go outside her comfort zones. One thing she did say is she "felt like a *****" because we weren't exclusive, so I'm sure that's an issue too.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...
The thing is, I feel like she has the power here. She feels like she has the power here. Is there anything I can do here (short of all that gangi crap, which I don't play) to sway the tide? Or is this simply a lost cause?

Like you alluded to earlier, she has power but it's primarily because people (guys) give it to her freely. You see, statement's like this...

...
Now, I came back with "don't mistake wanting to eff you again for surrender or I'll have to cut you and your big head off"

...offers her the advantage on a silver platter. What did bringing up the fact that you had bumped uglies with her in a previous life have to do with anything? All it says it that you are still thinking about it even now and haven't moved on. You might as well have had served her a strap-on when you gave her that silver platter so that she could fvck you over again. I hate to be graphic (yeah right ) but do you get the point?

 

[MR_PERFECT]

Like you alluded to earlier, she has power but it's primarily because people (guys) give it to her freely. You see, statement's like this...

...offers her the advantage on a silver platter. What did bringing up the fact that you had bumped uglies with her in a previous life have to do with anything?

It's okay to bring it up, it's all in how you bring it up. Don't just mention sex, mention specific things you did and how it felt. Mention how good she tasted, or how good she was at one specific thing, but don't just mention that you did it. The way you mention it reinforces the fact that she made the right decision.

 

[PhatE1vis]

The way you mention it reinforces the fact that she made the right decision.

That was the goal with bringing it up....she brings it up occassionally too. We're very sarcastic with each other (always have been) and the tone is always in that vein (ie., you liked it more; no, you liked it more).

However, Francisco has a point, a very good one. I'm giving her all the ammo and showing her it still matters to me. Thing is, the sex was pretty damn good, so it does still matter to me on that level.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

..However, Francisco has a point, a very good one. I'm giving her all the ammo and showing her it still matters to me. Thing is, the sex was pretty damn good, so it does still matter to me on that level.

That's the trump card that most women hold over a guy, good sex. Why do you think she keeps bringing it up??!! Make the sex a non-issue and watch how the tides change.

 

[PhatE1vis]

Yeah, man. I'm trying...I'm REALLY trying. I get blinded by pusssy. What's the trick for taking it out of the equation, or is it just fake it til you make it?

 

[stylemaker]

Lets realize that its now a win-lose situation aka game. When you decide to stop playing a game the tables will turn. And she may try something different to try to make you play again aka bait. Do not take it. Its important how you handle the situation from here. Do not play. You're time is valuable. Make her earn your time. And if you feel that she has taken power, you chasing only confirms that to her. Power is not tangible so by not confirming allows doubt to set in since she is used to playing but it takes 2.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yeah, man. I'm trying...I'm REALLY trying. I get blinded by pusssy. What's the trick for taking it out of the equation, or is it just fake it til you make it?

What does she have, "The Pvssy of Life?" It's just poon, most women have it. Is hers really that special?