Trying to land a virgin

[RockstarCowboy]

Alright, background first I suppose. I was having no luck for awhile until I found this site. Ended up dating a girl that I knew liked me from long ago. Been together a month. I've only ever screwed one girl in my life (need to change that) and she led me through it. So this time around I'd like to do it the right way. I know all about kino and such already, just not great at it. Problem is, she's still a virgin and since I've had such a bad record previously, I'd like to try keeping her around. What I need to do is man up, just worried about her freaking out and all. I don't really know, any advice on what to do would be appreciated.

What I think I should do:
Man the hell up already!
Kino, kissing, move my hand around her ***** and up the back of her shirt, mess with her tits, finger her, strip her down, lay.
If she resist I should just let it slide for a few times and then after go do something else til' she comes around.
If she says we're moving too fast just agree and continue.

Think I have the concept, but advice is still appreciated.

And are there any REALY great confidence threads? I skimmed through the bible but nothing got me too pumped up.

 

[john paul]

remember theres no need and no rush for you to go all the way the first time. Take it slow and step it up each time. Im in the exact same situation as you right now and just dropped her off back home. Instead of rushing and possibly skrewing up i took it slow and got her shirt off but stopped at the pants. Keeping a virgin comfortable is key.

 

[duffman360]

dude just relax keep a cool head and don't freak out and it would be fine

 

[The Dalton]

What have you done with her so far?

 

[Slim Shady607]

Well, from what I can take from this...

Virgins(Virgin Girls) are like very scared to lose their virginity because they dont want to lose it to anyone, and get played. Unless they're really eager to lose it. So my advice to you, is what john paul said, make her feel comfortable. Be romantic, or try to make her melt with your words. And make her trust you, because trust is the key.

If you and her are hitting it off and she says stop. Get up, turn on the lights, and start watching TV. Basically ruin the moment once she says stop. It's called the freeze-out. If you want to know more about it, read "The Game". Or just PM me about it, I'll give you better description.

 

[Plec07]

Freeze-out is the best way to get a girl to sleep with you I'll agree. However it might be a bit different with virgins. Virgins havn't had it before and they don't know what it's like. They need security, trust and comfort. The freeze out generates none of these. Instead it just makes the girl feel bad (like a guilt trip) because she may have wanted to still cuddle with you and keep the moment, just not sleep with you. Which you'll have none of but won't make a big deal about it, so you just go about your daily business.

For virgins I think it might just make it worse. Although I've not got any field experience with it, logically it shouldn't work. The way I see it, if you perform a freeze-out on a virgin they won't feel as "close" to you, and won't find you as romantic, understanding and most importantly trust worthy. If you want a girl to lose her virginity to you, they need to be completely comfortable with you and find you understanding. A freeze-out does the opposite and creates awkwardness which the girl won't like. Hense she won't stop you next time, in an attempt to avoid the awkwardness.

 

[Supremo]

Dude I'll give you the BEST advice on this, based on the input of several of my friends, and field tested by me with my current girlfriend:
Talk to her about it

If the thought of you talking about sex with your girlfriend is anything more than mildly uncomfortable, trust me, you and her aren't ready.

Here are some real examples from one of my friend's, and then mine:

(Friend and his girlfriend are making out in his car, previous to this they've gotten comfortable fingering and feeling up)
Friend: Hey, what do you think about sex?
GF: I think it's scary...
Friend: Yeah, me too.
GF: But I'd TOTALLY have sex with you!

Mind you, I don't think this is typical at all unless you've built extreme comfort with this girl. Here's mine:

(Girlfriend and I were just chillin on her bed talking about stuff, she brings up how one of our friends got caught having sex, so I figured, "might as well try talking about it..." Previous to this we've gotten comfortable making out, feeling up, and on the road to comfortable with fingering and handjobs)
GF: So her dad ended up taking off her door!
Me: That sucks! Sex is kinda scary I think...
GF: Yeah, me too. Sometimes I don't think condoms would be enough.
Me: ...
Her: ...
Me: I mean, I dunno... not just the fact about possibly having a baby... but for the first time, I think it's a pretty big deal. That's one time in your life that you'll always remember. Are you a virgin? (We'd never discussed before, but I knew she was from a friend)
Her: Yeah... are you?
Me: Yeah. Honestly it's more of by my choice. I don't wanna just throw it away on some slut. I want it to be... special I guess. With someone I truely like. What do you think about sex?
Her: Pretty much exactly what you said...

Right then I kind of pussed out on asking her about "us" having sex but I could tell there was some tension so I decided to wait. But at least we TALKED about it so in the future it wont be as weird.

Bottom line... I'd talk to her about it. If it seems awkward, then try talking about how "so-and-so got caught... blah blah... what do you think about sex?"

If you actually like this girl, and aren't a ****ing douche (which it doesn't seem like you are...) then don't lie to her about having sex. I'd be up front and tell her your story.

It's MUCH better to ask "how do you feel about sex" than "can we have sex" or "lets ****" because it lets her know you're interested in HER feelings and not just her p u s s y.

 

[Plec07]

^ agreed.

 

[RockstarCowboy]

Thanks for the advice fellas. I managed to get up her shirt the other day and could go no further because it was "that time of the month". She was cool about it, but kept saying she had butterflies and would start laughing like crazy every time my **** brushed against her legs. I asked what was wrong and she said she was just nervous, figure that's normal for first timers. I was amazed though, not only is she a virgin, but until I went up her shirt, she'd never done anything other than make-out before. Not sure if I should try more this weekend or give her a break. She did say she wanted to get over her "innocent" thing though.

 

[john paul]

haha nice man you and me are pretty much going at the same pace right now with very similar situations.
Personally i would wait till next week to hang out with her and be sure to step it up again, thats what iv been doing for 4 weeks now and its been working out great.